Posted on 04/01/2014 10:52:40 AM PDT by US Navy Vet
Passing gas: Everybody does it – and no one wants to admit it.
This embarrassing habit may seem foul, but breaking wind is simply an unavoidable byproduct of our daily digestion. In fact, the average individual can pass gas anywhere from 13 to 21 times a day.
But your gaseous patterns can actually speak volumes about your health, especially in regards to your eating habits, and they may even serve as an indication of larger digestive health issues.
“People who produce excessive amounts of gas and particularly foul smelling gas – if you’re eating a super high fiber diet, that could be part of it,” Dr. Anish Sheth, a gastroenterologist in Princeton, N.J., told FoxNews.com. “But if it’s something that’s persistent, and your significant other is noticing it, it could be a problem.”
(Excerpt) Read more at foxnews.com ...
Doesn't matter if it was nice smelling flowers, cologne, baked goods, whatever. I'm still waiting to use that line.
Paaafwwwtttt!
"Not it", but if you put pineapples in your baked beans, do you hear Hawaiian music?
It means you need to get to a doctor right away - there is something wrong with your nose.
Years ago, when I was a kid in 7th grade, we were in church for Tuesday morning mass.
Fat Eddie D was standing directly in front of me. There was a reason we called him “Fat Eddie”. This kid was huge for his age.
Anyway... he let one rip. And boy, was it ever a cheek-flapper. Just nasty. So I cracked up, along with all the other boys around me.
Out of nowhere, I get smacked solidly in the head from behind. A Righteous Hand of Divine Retribution....
Sister Helen “Most Homicidal” had slipped into the pew behind us, and singled ME out for laughing, her mustache and unibrow all a-twitching in fury.
I was alternately stunned from the smack, and gagging from the stench, and I blurted out “What the hell are you hitting ME for? I didn’t blast that one!!!”
The Priest stopped the service momentarily and me and five other kids had detention for about two weeks.
True story...
A fond memory to be sure....
No!
Just say'n.
“I’d say you’ve had enough.”
Obamugabe should take note...
this IS the WRATH OF POOTIN’
Beans...beans....good for your heart
To more you eat, the more you fart
The more you fart, the better you feel.
Eat beans at every meal.
Pull my finger and blame the dog.
Beans... beans... the musical fruit
The more you eat, the more you toot!
Since Hubby has been out of work, he’s been, shall we say, more “relaxed” at home during the day, since he’s the only one in the house. There are days I come home from work, and he’s in the family room, and it hits you like a wall. I’ve gotten to where I don’t even say anything, I just start lighting scented candles.
Word to the wise, eat your grains, beans and veggies and smell less toxic, unless you are lactose intolerant, in which case if you come near dairy sugars, expect bloating, pain and very bad smelling gas.
If you are able to contain your gas during the day, you just might overcome your sleeping "partner" during the night.
Hopefully, in that case, you will both sleep so soundly you won't notice all of the gas being produced or you will be unable to distinguish between his or hers, (or his/his, hers/hers, tranny/tranny!)
“...just start lighting scented candles.....”
A funky, malodorous, noxious wave... highly combustible! Be careful with the lighter!!!! Hahah!!!
To this day, I still crack up when someone busts one off. Immature? Youbetchadupa!! Ha!!
I ate my beans and they were loaded,
Went to bed and they exploded!
He’s sounds like a real “keeper”. Hold on to him before somebody with a fetish for unemployed gas passers snatches him up.
Well, they say laughter is the best medicine, so we're all good around our house.
We always use cane or wicker chairs in our dining room, for unimpeded acoustics during the championship rounds.
Please pass the bean burritos. I've got to beat my brother this year.
Had a brother-in-law who went to trade his truck in for a new one and the dealership told him they would have to replace the front bench seat because it smelled of his rancid emissions. Big beer drinker ... and smoker.
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