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Too funny: Another Southwest Flight Attendant Goes Viral
KHOU.com ^ | April 14. 2014 | KHOU.com staff

Posted on 04/15/2014 1:37:07 PM PDT by pax_et_bonum

“If I can pretend to have your attention for just a few moments, my ex-husband, my new boyfriend, and their divorce attorney are going to show you the safety features…”

http://www.khou.com/video/featured-videos/Too-funny-Another-Southwest-flight-attendant-goes-viral-255175011.html

(Excerpt) Read more at khou.com ...


TOPICS: Humor; Travel
KEYWORDS: flightattendant; funny; swa
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She's funny!

The other day a friend arrived in Houston on a Southwest flight and the flight attendant announced,"We'd like to welcome you to Hawaii but we can't since we're in Houston."

:-)

1 posted on 04/15/2014 1:37:07 PM PDT by pax_et_bonum
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To: pax_et_bonum

Flight attendants is now the new job to have for aspiring stand-up comedians. Captive audience anyway.

Air Marshall, can you deal with that heckler....?


2 posted on 04/15/2014 1:40:33 PM PDT by Secret Agent Man (Gone Galt; Not averse to Going Bronson.)
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To: pax_et_bonum

I was on one last year and the guy was doing everything in Southparks Mr. mackey voice. Was pretty good but only half the plane got it.


3 posted on 04/15/2014 1:41:07 PM PDT by subterfuge (CBS NBC ABC FOX AP-- all no different than Pravda.)
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To: pax_et_bonum

Ours used a rubber chicken to demonstrate the oxygen mask instructions. :)


4 posted on 04/15/2014 1:41:28 PM PDT by fwdude ( You cannot compromise with that which you must defeat.)
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To: Secret Agent Man

I’ve been flying all night and, boy, are my arms tired!


5 posted on 04/15/2014 1:44:10 PM PDT by 9YearLurker
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To: Secret Agent Man

Captive audience anyway.


Except for smokers - didn’t she say they could step outside to smoke?

;-)


6 posted on 04/15/2014 1:45:07 PM PDT by pax_et_bonum (Never Forget the Seals of Extortion 17 - and God Bless America)
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To: 9YearLurker

Hey you better watch it or I’ll make you eat the in-flight meal!


7 posted on 04/15/2014 1:45:32 PM PDT by Secret Agent Man (Gone Galt; Not averse to Going Bronson.)
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To: pax_et_bonum

I bet she would talk your head off on a date...that is if she had any air left...
She missed her true calling as an auctioneer ...: )


8 posted on 04/15/2014 1:45:32 PM PDT by jsanders2001
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To: pax_et_bonum

I like Southwest.


9 posted on 04/15/2014 1:45:33 PM PDT by martin_fierro (< |:)~)
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To: pax_et_bonum

Remember that time a SWA attendant said prior to takeoff: “Eenie Meenie Miney Mo. Take a seat, cause we gotta go.”?

She got in trouble. Fired I think.


10 posted on 04/15/2014 1:45:44 PM PDT by Responsibility2nd (NO LIBS. This Means Liberals and (L)libertarians! Same Thing. NO LIBS!!)
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To: pax_et_bonum

Now an airplane would be a perfect place for e-cigs.


11 posted on 04/15/2014 1:46:36 PM PDT by Secret Agent Man (Gone Galt; Not averse to Going Bronson.)
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To: Secret Agent Man

The new rubber chicken circuit!


12 posted on 04/15/2014 1:47:42 PM PDT by 9YearLurker
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To: subterfuge

Damn. Just looked on YouTube and could find it.


13 posted on 04/15/2014 1:47:55 PM PDT by matt04
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To: subterfuge

I was on one last year and the guy was doing everything in Southparks Mr. mackey voice. Was pretty good but only half the plane got it.


Funny!


14 posted on 04/15/2014 1:48:21 PM PDT by pax_et_bonum (Never Forget the Seals of Extortion 17 - and God Bless America)
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To: fwdude

Ours used a rubber chicken to demonstrate the oxygen mask instructions. :)


Now that would take talent!

Lol!


15 posted on 04/15/2014 1:50:12 PM PDT by pax_et_bonum (Never Forget the Seals of Extortion 17 - and God Bless America)
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To: pax_et_bonum

Home viewing bookmark.


16 posted on 04/15/2014 1:53:29 PM PDT by Sergio (An object at rest cannot be stopped! - The Evil Midnight Bomber What Bombs at Midnight)
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To: martin_fierro
I like Southwest.

Herb Kelleher, co-founder of SWA, was once on a flight I took to El Paso. Midway through the flight, he got up and introduced himself, told the passengers that the peanuts were on him and then belted out a pretty descent version of "Heartbreak Hotel".

17 posted on 04/15/2014 1:53:38 PM PDT by re_nortex (DP - that's what I like about Texas)
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To: 9YearLurker

I’ve been flying all night and, boy, are my arms tired!


Once my husband was flying home and he texted, “On the plane.”

I texted back, “No! No! Not ON the plane - get IN the plane!”

So he did.

That was a close call.


18 posted on 04/15/2014 1:53:42 PM PDT by pax_et_bonum (Never Forget the Seals of Extortion 17 - and God Bless America)
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To: jsanders2001

I bet she would talk your head off on a date...that is if she had any air left...
She missed her true calling as an auctioneer ...: )


She does talk fast!

But we women have a lot to say.

:-)


19 posted on 04/15/2014 1:54:55 PM PDT by pax_et_bonum (Never Forget the Seals of Extortion 17 - and God Bless America)
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To: pax_et_bonum

I wonder who will be the first passenger to sue because they couldn’t get the quarters into the oxygen mask on time to prevent asphyxiation. :-)


20 posted on 04/15/2014 1:55:13 PM PDT by Larry Lucido
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To: martin_fierro

I like Southwest.


Me, too. They’re my favorite.


21 posted on 04/15/2014 1:56:00 PM PDT by pax_et_bonum (Never Forget the Seals of Extortion 17 - and God Bless America)
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To: pax_et_bonum

I was flying S.W. and a young lady choked on something. Her seat mate dislodged her airway and the young lady was understandably upset and crying. The flight attendants lead her to the back of the plane and plied her with shots of tequila. I informed the crew that i was choking as well and got my free shot. Yes. S.W. has the very best customer focused flight crews in the business!


22 posted on 04/15/2014 1:56:19 PM PDT by DariusBane (Liberty and Risk. Flip sides of the same coin. So how much risk will YOU accept? Vive Deco et Vives)
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To: pax_et_bonum

I think it’s hilarious how they make the safety instructions so funny.

“If you’re sitting next to a child, or someone who just acts like a child...” was always one of my faves.


23 posted on 04/15/2014 1:57:21 PM PDT by Jane Long (While Marxists continue the fundamental transformation of the USA, progressive RINOs assist!)
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To: Responsibility2nd

Remember that time a SWA attendant said prior to takeoff: “Eenie Meenie Miney Mo. Take a seat, cause we gotta go.”?

She got in trouble. Fired I think.


That would be a major Oops.


24 posted on 04/15/2014 1:57:42 PM PDT by pax_et_bonum (Never Forget the Seals of Extortion 17 - and God Bless America)
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To: pax_et_bonum
Make sure you take all your belongings and children with you when you disembark or we'll sell them on eBay.

25 posted on 04/15/2014 1:58:28 PM PDT by BitWielder1 (Corporate Profits are better than Government Waste)
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To: Responsibility2nd

I don’t think she was fired. SWA made some “oh, we apologize IF YOUR WERE OFFENDED” kind of remark. Not a real apology.


26 posted on 04/15/2014 1:58:53 PM PDT by Fledermaus (I support Joe Carr in the TN GOP Primary against Lamar!)
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To: re_nortex

Kelleher is a genius. One of the few true business execs worth aspiring to. He was both fair and tough. Great sense of humor, and understood the intricacies of the financial end of the business.


27 posted on 04/15/2014 1:59:35 PM PDT by RinaseaofDs
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To: matt04

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=07LFBydGjaM

Looks like this is it.


28 posted on 04/15/2014 2:00:15 PM PDT by pax_et_bonum (Never Forget the Seals of Extortion 17 - and God Bless America)
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To: pax_et_bonum

...completing your thought...

“....in the short attention span you males have!”


29 posted on 04/15/2014 2:00:31 PM PDT by SgtHooper
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To: Larry Lucido

I wonder who will be the first passenger to sue because they couldn’t get the quarters into the oxygen mask on time to prevent asphyxiation. :-)


Rofl!!!


30 posted on 04/15/2014 2:01:30 PM PDT by pax_et_bonum (Never Forget the Seals of Extortion 17 - and God Bless America)
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To: pax_et_bonum

Back in the days when flying wasn’t so much of a hassle (pre-9/11), I flew Southwest a lot. Somewhere I have a file of there best announcements. One I particularly recall when talking about the oxygen masks was:

“After you have put on your mask, please assist and children or anyone acting like children with their mask”


31 posted on 04/15/2014 2:03:00 PM PDT by ssaftler (Obama speaking is like the Fat Lady warming up: "Me Me Me Me Meeee")
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To: Fledermaus

Why would anybody be offended. Nobody wants to be on a plane sitting on the tarmac. Hot, smelly, crowded, getting whipped with bag straps as people cram luggage into too small compartments and cough and sneeze on each other. Light it up lets GO!


32 posted on 04/15/2014 2:03:09 PM PDT by DariusBane (Liberty and Risk. Flip sides of the same coin. So how much risk will YOU accept? Vive Deco et Vives)
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To: Fledermaus

I think tigers were offended.

Or some lower class of animal.

Not sure which.

(lol)


33 posted on 04/15/2014 2:03:23 PM PDT by Responsibility2nd (NO LIBS. This Means Liberals and (L)libertarians! Same Thing. NO LIBS!!)
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To: Secret Agent Man

Now an airplane would be a perfect place for e-cigs.


We need legislation.

;-)


34 posted on 04/15/2014 2:04:08 PM PDT by pax_et_bonum (Never Forget the Seals of Extortion 17 - and God Bless America)
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To: DariusBane; Responsibility2nd

As usual, the “offended” party was a member of the permanent whine class.

In this case it was a black woman I believe. Obviously old enough to know the racist version of Eenie Meenie.


35 posted on 04/15/2014 2:06:07 PM PDT by Fledermaus (I support Joe Carr in the TN GOP Primary against Lamar!)
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To: SgtHooper

Delta’s in flight video is MUCH better.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eduNjwNvcH4

(you know you are old if you spot the references...)

and this is the holiday version

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0P-fqUoHMBc


36 posted on 04/15/2014 2:08:12 PM PDT by longtermmemmory (VOTE! http://www.senate.gov and http://www.house.gov)
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To: pax_et_bonum

Flying is NOT fun.

I get on the jet, stow my one roll-on and briefcase, sit down, shut-up, I don’t talk to anyone and I don’t want them to talk to me. And hey, Stewardess, flying is a major pain so don’t try a song-and-dance like we are having a party. . .we are not.

Too many flights for too many years, too many chatty passengers that are all a-gush over flying to visit Aunt Sally. . .and too many stewardesses treating everyone who travels, even us business types in First Class domestic and Business international, as the cause of their tired feet and that fact they are old and were never able to fully secure that pilot up front.

Harrumpfh.


37 posted on 04/15/2014 2:10:32 PM PDT by Hulka
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To: Fledermaus

Oh. I didn’t know their was a racist version. Too many ways to get in trouble these days. Best to say nothing to anyone you have not known for 20 years.


38 posted on 04/15/2014 2:10:57 PM PDT by DariusBane (Liberty and Risk. Flip sides of the same coin. So how much risk will YOU accept? Vive Deco et Vives)
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To: DariusBane

I was flying S.W. and a young lady choked on something. Her seat mate dislodged her airway and the young lady was understandably upset and crying. The flight attendants lead her to the back of the plane and plied her with shots of tequila. I informed the crew that i was choking as well and got my free shot. Yes. S.W. has the very best customer focused flight crews in the business!


I admire your quick and lucrative thinking.

:-)


39 posted on 04/15/2014 2:11:53 PM PDT by pax_et_bonum (Never Forget the Seals of Extortion 17 - and God Bless America)
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To: All

Was flying on SW and ended up in aisle one. The gentlemen across the aisle was complaining that his company jet wasn’t available and was suppose to be in first class. So he got free drinks, pillow, hand wipes and extra peanuts. Because I chuckled at the service he was getting they decided I was in first class too. Lots of laughs the entire trip !


40 posted on 04/15/2014 2:13:48 PM PDT by hoosiermama (Obama: "Born in Kenya" Lying now or then or now)
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To: Jane Long

I think it’s hilarious how they make the safety instructions so funny.

“If you’re sitting next to a child, or someone who just acts like a child...” was always one of my faves.


I agree!

It’s the only time I listen!

:-)


41 posted on 04/15/2014 2:13:54 PM PDT by pax_et_bonum (Never Forget the Seals of Extortion 17 - and God Bless America)
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To: BitWielder1

Make sure you take all your belongings and children with you when you disembark or we’ll sell them on eBay.


Lol!

But, as for my children, I wonder if they’ve read “The Ransom of Red Chief”?


42 posted on 04/15/2014 2:15:51 PM PDT by pax_et_bonum (Never Forget the Seals of Extortion 17 - and God Bless America)
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To: SgtHooper

...completing your thought...

“....in the short attention span you males have!”


Lol! Thanks!

I was being sweet - you know, raised in the south.

;-)


43 posted on 04/15/2014 2:17:42 PM PDT by pax_et_bonum (Never Forget the Seals of Extortion 17 - and God Bless America)
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To: pax_et_bonum

Anything moving in excess of 500 mph doesn’t need a safety brief. If things go bad they go really really bad and a safety brief won’t help.

I’ve always thought that every time they talk about floating seat cushions.


44 posted on 04/15/2014 2:18:32 PM PDT by DariusBane (Liberty and Risk. Flip sides of the same coin. So how much risk will YOU accept? Vive Deco et Vives)
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To: re_nortex

My wife & I were on a Continental flight in 1991 where the male flight attendant was dropping one liners & ad libs rapid fire. One elderly lady asked him if he missed his wife on long flights.

He replied, “I’m not married”. “Then why the wedding band?”

“Oh, that’s my `fag deflector’. You see, there are a lot of fags in the airline industry & I have to pretend to be married. My girlfriend keeps nagging me about when am I going to start wearing it for real!”


45 posted on 04/15/2014 2:18:46 PM PDT by elcid1970
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To: Hulka

Flying is NOT fun.

...

(yadda yadda)

...

Harrumpfh.


Okay.


46 posted on 04/15/2014 2:22:11 PM PDT by pax_et_bonum (Never Forget the Seals of Extortion 17 - and God Bless America)
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To: ssaftler

“After you have put on your mask, please assist and children or anyone acting like children with their mask”


Lol!


47 posted on 04/15/2014 2:25:27 PM PDT by pax_et_bonum (Never Forget the Seals of Extortion 17 - and God Bless America)
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To: pax_et_bonum

Was a big Southwest fan for many years until they messed with the boarding process and changed the planes they use for cross country travel.
Flew them last month from BWI to LAX on new plane, had A1 boarding ticket, got horrible seat...awful.
No more SWA for me when I fly to CA...no way.


48 posted on 04/15/2014 2:25:41 PM PDT by matginzac
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To: Responsibility2nd

“She got in trouble. Fired I think.”

No, the two black women who got ‘offended’ sued the airlines. The court/jury through out the lawsuit.


49 posted on 04/15/2014 2:26:23 PM PDT by spel_grammer_an_punct_polise (What we need is to sucker the fedthugs into a "Tiananmen Square"-like incident on the National Mall!)
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To: DariusBane

Anything moving in excess of 500 mph doesn’t need a safety brief.


If crashing, I plan to stand up and jump just before the plane hits the ground.


50 posted on 04/15/2014 2:28:57 PM PDT by pax_et_bonum (Never Forget the Seals of Extortion 17 - and God Bless America)
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