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KPD: Loaded, stolen gun found in woman's body
Kingsport (TN) Times News ^ | April 22, 2014 | Rain Smith

Posted on 04/22/2014 11:59:06 AM PDT by don-o

A woman arrested on driver's license offenses now faces felony charges, with Kingsport police saying she introduced into jail some atypical contraband: a stolen — and loaded — .22-caliber mini-revolver, via an orifice of her body.

(Excerpt) Read more at timesnews.net ...


TOPICS:
KEYWORDS: happinessisawarmgun; napl; orifice; whatisinthepurselady
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Wait. What?
1 posted on 04/22/2014 11:59:06 AM PDT by don-o
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To: don-o

Not the most handy holster.


2 posted on 04/22/2014 12:01:00 PM PDT by SampleMan (Feral Humans are the refuse of socialism.)
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To: don-o

Cocked and locked.


3 posted on 04/22/2014 12:01:31 PM PDT by dblshot (I am John Galt.)
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To: don-o

4 posted on 04/22/2014 12:01:34 PM PDT by thackney (life is fragile, handle with prayer)
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To: don-o

“How did that get in there?”


5 posted on 04/22/2014 12:01:34 PM PDT by AU72
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To: don-o

What are the relative sizes? NO pics —— PLEASE!


6 posted on 04/22/2014 12:01:43 PM PDT by Paladin2
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To: don-o

This is NOT the first time this has happened. Yuck. Let the funny FReepers loose.....


7 posted on 04/22/2014 12:02:06 PM PDT by Tenacious 1 (My whimsical litany of satyric prose and avarice pontification of wisdom demonstrates my concinnity.)
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To: thackney

Guilty!


8 posted on 04/22/2014 12:02:32 PM PDT by tatown ("So a Hispanic shoots a black and is acquitted by women, but it's still white men's fault.")
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To: thackney

It was in her hair bun thingie....

I hope....


9 posted on 04/22/2014 12:02:39 PM PDT by GraceG
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To: thackney

Move for a directed verdict of Guilty Your Honor.


10 posted on 04/22/2014 12:02:41 PM PDT by AU72
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To: tatown

Those eyes look so vacant and devoid of a soul....

Try not to look too much at her pic or you will see the abyss staring back at you.....


11 posted on 04/22/2014 12:03:30 PM PDT by GraceG
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To: GraceG

The article said ‘orifice’.


12 posted on 04/22/2014 12:03:38 PM PDT by tatown ("So a Hispanic shoots a black and is acquitted by women, but it's still white men's fault.")
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To: don-o

“That’s not mine.”

“I didn’t put it there.”

“I was holding it for a friend.”

“The officer said to empty my pockets not my body.”

“I must have sat on it when I got out of the shower.”

“It was cleaning it...”


13 posted on 04/22/2014 12:03:42 PM PDT by Tenacious 1 (My whimsical litany of satyric prose and avarice pontification of wisdom demonstrates my concinnity.)
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To: don-o

I imagine there are a variety of smaller pistols which could be ‘sequestered’ in a female’s orifice.


14 posted on 04/22/2014 12:04:30 PM PDT by MHGinTN
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To: SampleMan

Would be quite a buzz-kill.


15 posted on 04/22/2014 12:04:39 PM PDT by AU72
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To: don-o

Concealed carry permit?

16 posted on 04/22/2014 12:04:44 PM PDT by Paladin2
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To: don-o

“The police planted it there!”


17 posted on 04/22/2014 12:04:45 PM PDT by Tenacious 1 (My whimsical litany of satyric prose and avarice pontification of wisdom demonstrates my concinnity.)
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To: don-o

Hey Lady!

Size MATTERS!!!!


18 posted on 04/22/2014 12:04:52 PM PDT by NFHale (The Second Amendment - By Any Means Necessary.)
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To: don-o
Meth. It's always meth.
19 posted on 04/22/2014 12:04:57 PM PDT by E. Pluribus Unum ("The best way to control opposition is to lead it ourselves." -- Vladimir Ilyich Lenin)
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To: tatown
The article said ‘orifice’.

Full article gets specific.

20 posted on 04/22/2014 12:05:40 PM PDT by don-o (He will not share His glory and He will NOT be mocked! Blessed be the name of the Lord forever!)
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To: AU72

Reminds me of the old “help me find my car keys and we’ll dive out here” joke.


21 posted on 04/22/2014 12:05:46 PM PDT by Hillarys Gate Cult (Liberals make unrealistic demands on reality and reality doesn't oblige them.)
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To: GraceG

WAY lower, apparently.


22 posted on 04/22/2014 12:05:51 PM PDT by Paladin2
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To: don-o

It was there in case she got raped.


23 posted on 04/22/2014 12:05:51 PM PDT by E. Pluribus Unum ("The best way to control opposition is to lead it ourselves." -- Vladimir Ilyich Lenin)
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To: don-o

Uhhh, which orifice are we talking about here? Perhaps she thought she was carrying legal by having the ammo stored in a separate and not easily accessed orifice...


24 posted on 04/22/2014 12:06:15 PM PDT by Abathar (Proudly posting without reading the article carefully since 2004)
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To: Hillarys Gate Cult

I meant “drive.”


25 posted on 04/22/2014 12:06:25 PM PDT by Hillarys Gate Cult (Liberals make unrealistic demands on reality and reality doesn't oblige them.)
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To: Paladin2

LONG RIFLE, 1 1/8" BARREL
http://northamericanarms.com/lr-448.html

26 posted on 04/22/2014 12:06:28 PM PDT by thackney (life is fragile, handle with prayer)
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To: MHGinTN

Depending on the woman, a ‘smaller’ pistol would not necessarily be required.


27 posted on 04/22/2014 12:06:45 PM PDT by tatown ("So a Hispanic shoots a black and is acquitted by women, but it's still white men's fault.")
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To: don-o

Loaded?

A mistimed fart and BOOM! She could blow her behind to Kingdom Come.

Unless it was a DIFFERENT orifice. Then .... well never mind.


28 posted on 04/22/2014 12:06:46 PM PDT by Responsibility2nd (NO LIBS. This Means Liberals and (L)libertarians! Same Thing. NO LIBS!!)
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To: Paladin2

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IfnsjhWYHGg


29 posted on 04/22/2014 12:07:43 PM PDT by Paladin2
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To: E. Pluribus Unum

I have heard from corrections officers of male inmates trying to bring in cell phones via orifice concealment.


30 posted on 04/22/2014 12:07:50 PM PDT by don-o (He will not share His glory and He will NOT be mocked! Blessed be the name of the Lord forever!)
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To: thackney; Lazamataz

Laz?


31 posted on 04/22/2014 12:07:53 PM PDT by Dr. Bogus Pachysandra ( Ya can't pick up a turd by the clean end!)
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To: don-o
http://northamericanarms.com/firearms.html

I think the article was referring to one of the above

32 posted on 04/22/2014 12:08:10 PM PDT by MHGinTN
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To: thackney

Ah. She hid it in her hair.


33 posted on 04/22/2014 12:08:14 PM PDT by Cyber Liberty (H.L. Mencken: "The urge to save humanity is almost always a false front for the urge to rule.")
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To: Responsibility2nd

It was the front orifice...

Gotta hand it to her for originality, though... that the ULTIMATE Concealed Carry Holster!!!!


34 posted on 04/22/2014 12:08:34 PM PDT by NFHale (The Second Amendment - By Any Means Necessary.)
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To: Paladin2

[ WAY lower, apparently. ]

A gun is a very unhygenic peice of material to be cramming up god knows where.....

Of course most Drones out there are not what i would call “Hygenic”.... but the anti-thesis of that concept...


35 posted on 04/22/2014 12:08:50 PM PDT by GraceG
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To: Paladin2

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Belly_gun


36 posted on 04/22/2014 12:09:02 PM PDT by Paladin2
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To: Responsibility2nd

It was. It was a different orifice.

I understand she may now be charged with assault with a loaded vagina.


37 posted on 04/22/2014 12:09:03 PM PDT by Responsibility2nd (NO LIBS. This Means Liberals and (L)libertarians! Same Thing. NO LIBS!!)
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To: don-o

Was there a boat with it?


38 posted on 04/22/2014 12:09:20 PM PDT by showme_the_Glory (ILLEGAL: prohibited by law. ALIEN: Owing political allegiance to another country or government)
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To: Hillarys Gate Cult
I meant “drive.”

The joke you reference is funny. But your version has a comical angle along the same vein as well. With a little repelling gear, one might use some spelunking techniques when lost in that subject, no?

39 posted on 04/22/2014 12:09:38 PM PDT by Tenacious 1 (My whimsical litany of satyric prose and avarice pontification of wisdom demonstrates my concinnity.)
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To: thackney

That would HAVE to hurt....

Seriously, a lot of sharp edges and whatnot....


40 posted on 04/22/2014 12:09:45 PM PDT by GraceG
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To: NFHale

umm... that’s NOT cosmoline...


41 posted on 04/22/2014 12:10:40 PM PDT by SpinnerWebb (IN-SAPORIBVS-SICVT-PVLLVM)
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To: Slings and Arrows

Orifice ping.


42 posted on 04/22/2014 12:10:53 PM PDT by Responsibility2nd (NO LIBS. This Means Liberals and (L)libertarians! Same Thing. NO LIBS!!)
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To: showme_the_Glory
Was there a boat with it?

I get it! And that's funny.

Don't worry. They didn't find your stash or your boat.

43 posted on 04/22/2014 12:11:34 PM PDT by Tenacious 1 (My whimsical litany of satyric prose and avarice pontification of wisdom demonstrates my concinnity.)
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To: SpinnerWebb

Sorta puts the “Pee” in “Pistol”, don’t it....


44 posted on 04/22/2014 12:11:52 PM PDT by NFHale (The Second Amendment - By Any Means Necessary.)
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To: SpinnerWebb

u owe me a keyboard


45 posted on 04/22/2014 12:12:07 PM PDT by driftdiver (I could eat it raw, but why do that when I have a fire.)
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To: don-o

Man: “Hey, it’s deep down there”.

“Hey, it’s deep down there”.

Woman: “You didn’t have to holler it but once”.

Man: “I didn’t holler it but once”.


46 posted on 04/22/2014 12:12:27 PM PDT by Arrowhead1952 (The Second Amendment is NOT about the right to hunt. It IS a right to shoot tyrants.)
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To: don-o

From the article.

“Along with the original charge of driving on a suspended license, Archer was additionally charged with introduction of contraband into a penal facility”


47 posted on 04/22/2014 12:13:14 PM PDT by driftdiver (I could eat it raw, but why do that when I have a fire.)
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To: thackney
What a slack-jawed specimen.

It's a shame: she appears to have regular features, to not be obese, and she has the improbably hardboiled name of Dallas Archer.

48 posted on 04/22/2014 12:13:39 PM PDT by wideawake
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To: SpinnerWebb

HATE to see where she keeps the Speed Loaders....


49 posted on 04/22/2014 12:15:30 PM PDT by NFHale (The Second Amendment - By Any Means Necessary.)
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To: Paladin2

Concealed carry permit?
= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =
I prefer the hammerless pistol.

Guess I should add this particular reason for liking no hammer.

Just when you think it is ‘safe’ to go back in the water-OUCH.... getting it ‘seated’ and then have to deal with the hammer....

One thing if it is ‘yours’ BUT if someone else is placing it in ‘storage’, the difficulty rises.


50 posted on 04/22/2014 12:16:12 PM PDT by xrmusn ((6/98 --"I would agree with you BUT that would make both of us wrong".))
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