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***THE OFFICIAL FRIDAY SILLINESS THREAD***

Posted on 04/25/2014 6:10:15 AM PDT by Lucky9teen

Almost all of us have sent a text or two we didn’t mean. Here’s some hilarious texts.



TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: ofst; silliness; texting
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No Beer


1 posted on 04/25/2014 6:10:15 AM PDT by Lucky9teen
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To: Lucky9teen

Woohooo!! Working from home today!!!!


2 posted on 04/25/2014 6:10:39 AM PDT by ShadowAce (Linux -- The Ultimate Windows Service Pack)
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To: Lucky9teen
Woo Hoo!


3 posted on 04/25/2014 6:11:53 AM PDT by ErnBatavia (The 0baMao Experiment: Abject Failure)
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To: Lucky9teen

Good Morning!


4 posted on 04/25/2014 6:13:36 AM PDT by secret garden (Why procrastinate when you can perendinate?)
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To: Lucky9teen

Top 10!


5 posted on 04/25/2014 6:13:42 AM PDT by proudpapa (Scott Walker - 2016)
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To: Lucky9teen

IBTP?


6 posted on 04/25/2014 6:14:34 AM PDT by MortMan (Never forget to remember!)
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To: Lucky9teen

Top 5?


7 posted on 04/25/2014 6:14:44 AM PDT by ZirconEncrustedTweezers (I'm not anti-government, government's anti-me.)
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To: Lucky9teen

Wanna caption a pic?

Try this!

H/T to Mark Steyn (posted here on FR) for the pic.



The bear trap is a nice touch:

Cartoon from Denise


8 posted on 04/25/2014 6:14:48 AM PDT by upchuck (Support ABLE, the Anybody But Lindsey Effort. Yes, we are the ABLE!!)
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To: 2111USMC; 21stCenturion; 2ndDivisionVet; 3AngelaD; 4mycountry; 5Madman2; 66-442hot; 6amgelsmama; ...



TEXTY TEXTERTON


CLICK HERE TO BE INCLUDED OR TAKEN OFF THE LIST



INSANITY = Should a Chimp Be Able to Sue Its Owner?

‘I thought to myself, Well, if I’m interested in social justice, I can’t imagine beings who are being more brutalized than nonhuman animals.’


9 posted on 04/25/2014 6:15:24 AM PDT by Lucky9teen (No problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it. ~ Albert Einstein)
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To: Lucky9teen

WOOOOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO top 20!
TGIF!!!!


10 posted on 04/25/2014 6:16:01 AM PDT by Currentriverrat (People are calling our President the Fresh Prince of Bill Ayers, that's not allowed is it?)
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To: ZirconEncrustedTweezers

Damn!


11 posted on 04/25/2014 6:17:35 AM PDT by ZirconEncrustedTweezers (I'm not anti-government, government's anti-me.)
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Top 12 !!


12 posted on 04/25/2014 6:20:38 AM PDT by llevrok (F the government)
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To: Lucky9teen

Top 20......sweet. Happy Friday all


13 posted on 04/25/2014 6:20:46 AM PDT by Yorlik803 ( Church/Caboose in 2016)
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To: Lucky9teen
TOP TWENTY! Love the text jokes!
14 posted on 04/25/2014 6:23:49 AM PDT by Rummyfan (Iraq: it's not about Iraq anymore, it's about the USA!)
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To: llevrok

Who said Nursing Homes were boring?

Two elderly residents, a man and a woman, were alone in the lobby of their nursing home one evening.

The old man looked over and said to the old lady,Mrs Pretzel
“I know just what you’re wanting. For $5 I’ll have sex with you right over there in that rocking chair.”

She looked surprised but didn’t say a word.

The old man continued, “For $10 I’ll do it with you on that nice soft sofa over there, but for $20 I’ll take you back to my room, light some candles, and give you the most romantic evening you’ve ever had in your life.”

The old lady still says nothing but after a couple of minutes, starts digging down in her purse.

She pulls out a wrinkled $20 bill and holds it up.
“So you want the nice romantic evening in my room,” says the old man.

“Get serious,” she replies. “Four times in the rocking chair!!!!.”


15 posted on 04/25/2014 6:24:35 AM PDT by llevrok (F the government)
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To: Lucky9teen

Top Two Zero!


16 posted on 04/25/2014 6:27:25 AM PDT by TADSLOS (The Event Horizon has come and gone. Buckle up and hang on.)
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To: Lucky9teen

Top....well, top something!


17 posted on 04/25/2014 6:28:12 AM PDT by 22202NOVA (I saw nothing. No-thing!)
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To: Lucky9teen

18 posted on 04/25/2014 6:35:58 AM PDT by Dead Corpse (Tri nornar eg bir. Binde til rota...)
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To: ErnBatavia

19 posted on 04/25/2014 6:36:39 AM PDT by Dead Corpse (Tri nornar eg bir. Binde til rota...)
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To: Lucky9teen

20 posted on 04/25/2014 6:37:48 AM PDT by Dallas59 ("Remember me as you pass by, As you are now, so once was I, As I am now, so you will be," -Epitap)
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To: Lucky9teen

Bubbling under the top 25...


21 posted on 04/25/2014 6:40:08 AM PDT by a fool in paradise (The new witchhunt: "Do you NOW, . . . or have you EVER , . . supported traditional marriage?")
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To: Lucky9teen

Top ... something! I’m IN! I missed it last week. :o[


22 posted on 04/25/2014 6:41:44 AM PDT by Monkey Face (It's OK if I don't get down to my original weight. Nine pounds and 12 ounces is just not realistic.)
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To: llevrok
A man goes into a porn shop and asks for an inflatable sex doll.

"Certainly, Sir," says the proprietor. "Would you like a Christian one or a Muslim one?"

"What's the difference?" asks the man.

"Well," replies the proprietor, "the Muslim one blows herself up."

23 posted on 04/25/2014 6:42:37 AM PDT by TexasCajun
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To: Lucky9teen

Just about sums it up!!!!

During a long day of looking around a car show, me, and a couple of my friends stopped in at “Hooter’s” for some Hot Wings and a few beers.

After sitting there for a while, one of my friends asked me which waitress I would like to be stuck in an elevator with.

I told them “The one who knows how to fix elevators. I’m old, tired, and pee a lot.”

My older pals will understand this.


24 posted on 04/25/2014 6:43:46 AM PDT by Arrowhead1952 (The Second Amendment is NOT about the right to hunt. It IS a right to shoot tyrants.)
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To: Monkey Face

Extenuating circumstances. Glad you are here this week...

:-)


25 posted on 04/25/2014 6:44:11 AM PDT by Dead Corpse (Tri nornar eg bir. Binde til rota...)
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To: Lucky9teen

I think the driver in front of me in traffic was part of EVERY ONE of those text exchanges. This morning, no less.


26 posted on 04/25/2014 6:46:05 AM PDT by a fool in paradise (The new witchhunt: "Do you NOW, . . . or have you EVER , . . supported traditional marriage?")
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To: Dead Corpse

Thanks! Getting better every day!


27 posted on 04/25/2014 6:48:47 AM PDT by Monkey Face (It's OK if I don't get down to my original weight. Nine pounds and 12 ounces is just not realistic.)
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To: Lucky9teen

28 posted on 04/25/2014 6:49:01 AM PDT by red-dawg (<<< click for info on my book.)
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A guy, living in California, just loses his job. About a week later, his wife and family leave him. Deciding he needs a new start, he decides to move to Arizona.

So off he drives, vowing to stop when it feels right. Some where in the middle of the desert - and the middle of nowhere - his car breaks down. There is no cell service but the guy remembers a gas station he passed a while ago and decides to walk for it.

His memory of where the gas station is, is not so good. He’s walking and walking, obviously lost. First an hour goes by, then a day. He’s totally lost!

He’s out of food and out of water. In fact, he’s near the end when he see’s the gas station. With what energy he has left, he crawls and crawls towards it, only to find it a mirage.

Rolling over and looking to the sky, he asks in his weakened voice, ‘Why me Lord? Why me?”. From the Heavens above, this deep, booming voice comes down, “Because Ralph, there’s something about you that just pisses me off!”


29 posted on 04/25/2014 6:51:41 AM PDT by llevrok (F the government)
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To: red-dawg; Daffynition

30 posted on 04/25/2014 6:52:39 AM PDT by a fool in paradise (The new witchhunt: "Do you NOW, . . . or have you EVER , . . supported traditional marriage?")
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To: Lucky9teen
Thanks L9t for adding me to the ping list.

FMCDH(BITS)

31 posted on 04/25/2014 6:54:48 AM PDT by nothingnew (I fear for my Republic due to marxist influence in our government. Open eyes/see)
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To: upchuck

32 posted on 04/25/2014 6:55:55 AM PDT by BenLurkin (This is not a statement of fact. It is either opinion or satire; or both.)
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To: ShadowAce
"WOOOHOOO! FRIDAY!"


33 posted on 04/25/2014 6:59:58 AM PDT by a fool in paradise (The new witchhunt: "Do you NOW, . . . or have you EVER , . . supported traditional marriage?")
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To: Lucky9teen

34 posted on 04/25/2014 7:01:59 AM PDT by BenLurkin (This is not a statement of fact. It is either opinion or satire; or both.)
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To: Lucky9teen

Those texts are a hoot!


35 posted on 04/25/2014 7:02:39 AM PDT by left that other site (You shall know the Truth, and The Truth Shall Set You Free.)
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To: ZirconEncrustedTweezers

36 posted on 04/25/2014 7:06:40 AM PDT by BenLurkin (This is not a statement of fact. It is either opinion or satire; or both.)
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To: Lucky9teen

37 posted on 04/25/2014 7:10:51 AM PDT by BenLurkin (This is not a statement of fact. It is either opinion or satire; or both.)
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To: Dallas59

What a great picture!


38 posted on 04/25/2014 7:12:39 AM PDT by Nea Wood (When people get used to preferential treatment, equal treatment seems like discrimination.-Sowell)
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To: Lucky9teen

!


39 posted on 04/25/2014 7:28:23 AM PDT by Silentgypsy (Mind your atomic bonds.)
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To: ErnBatavia
Ready to rumble!
40 posted on 04/25/2014 7:37:35 AM PDT by BenLurkin (This is not a statement of fact. It is either opinion or satire; or both.)
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To: Lucky9teen

Bette Midler is the 12th Imam!


41 posted on 04/25/2014 7:44:37 AM PDT by BenLurkin (This is not a statement of fact. It is either opinion or satire; or both.)
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To: Lucky9teen

Thanks!


42 posted on 04/25/2014 7:58:54 AM PDT by Nevadan
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To: Lucky9teen
Throwback Thursday ... on Friday!

It was a simpler time. Spring was in the air and a new batch of fresh-faced interns were eager and ready to work!

Queen - Fat Bottomed Girls

43 posted on 04/25/2014 8:02:03 AM PDT by Liberty Valance (Keep a simple manner for a happy life :o)
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To: Liberty Valance

Great pic.

I only recently learned that Huma was also a WH intern in that era.

Bill and Hill may well have been doing the “daily double”


44 posted on 04/25/2014 8:05:52 AM PDT by nascarnation (Toxic Baraq Syndrome: hopefully infecting a Dem candidate near you)
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To: a fool in paradise
Were you squinting all the way in to work?

45 posted on 04/25/2014 8:21:11 AM PDT by Lucky9teen (No problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it. ~ Albert Einstein)
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To: Lucky9teen
Perhaps...


46 posted on 04/25/2014 8:24:52 AM PDT by a fool in paradise (The new witchhunt: "Do you NOW, . . . or have you EVER , . . supported traditional marriage?")
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To: Lucky9teen
I tried squinting today. Not gonna happen.


47 posted on 04/25/2014 8:31:12 AM PDT by a fool in paradise (The new witchhunt: "Do you NOW, . . . or have you EVER , . . supported traditional marriage?")
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To: Lucky9teen

“As democracy is perfected, the office of the President represents, more and more closely, the inner soul of the people. On some great and glorious day, the plain folks of the land will reach their heart’s desire at last and the White House will be occupied by a downright fool and complete narcissistic moron.”

-—H.L. Mencken, the Baltimore Evening Sun, July 26, 1920

Hmmmmm...sure seems like America has achieved this heart’s desire. My inner soul weeps.


48 posted on 04/25/2014 8:42:17 AM PDT by relentlessly
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To: Liberty Valance

Ha, look at the guy in the background.
He knows.


49 posted on 04/25/2014 8:57:43 AM PDT by envisio (Its on like Donkey Kong!)
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To: Lucky9teen

Hi Lucky! Please remove me from the ping list? I decided the other day that 16 years in one place is too long, and I’m in a rut. Time for me to go...

(Please ping the thread at FB? I’d still like to read it, even if I don’t have anything to say anymore.)


50 posted on 04/25/2014 9:02:05 AM PDT by Cyber Liberty (H.L. Mencken: "The urge to save humanity is almost always a false front for the urge to rule.")
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