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Subtle advice for your daughter's prom date
Liveleak.com ^ | 4/26/14 | Lee Wayne Rider

Posted on 04/26/2014 6:58:04 PM PDT by Rebelbase



TOPICS: Education; Health/Medicine
KEYWORDS:

1 posted on 04/26/2014 6:58:04 PM PDT by Rebelbase
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To: Rebelbase

Erm. The girl’s dress has a bottom and a top, which is a good start.


2 posted on 04/26/2014 6:59:09 PM PDT by Tax-chick (I'd forgotten how much fun it is having a dog.)
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To: Rebelbase

“You make her cry,I’ll make you cry.”


3 posted on 04/26/2014 7:02:14 PM PDT by Farmer Dean (stop worrying about what they want to do to you,start thinking about what you want to do to them)
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To: Rebelbase

“I ain’t got no problem goin back to prison, son.”


4 posted on 04/26/2014 7:02:29 PM PDT by Gaffer (Comprehensive Immigration Reform is just another name for Comprehensive Capitulation)
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To: Gaffer

I like that.


5 posted on 04/26/2014 7:07:17 PM PDT by DIRTYSECRET (urope. Why do they put up with this.)
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To: Farmer Dean
“You make her cry,I’ll make you cry.”

"I'll make you wish that you had died as a child...."

6 posted on 04/26/2014 7:09:34 PM PDT by Gay State Conservative (Stalin Blamed The Kulaks,Obama Blames The Tea Party)
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To: Rebelbase

Ah memories. My prom date’s dad was a police officer who did the “subtle” talk too: “Son, bring her home before midnight in the same condition she goes out that door. Past midnight I tend to talk to my friends Smith & Wesson”


7 posted on 04/26/2014 7:09:46 PM PDT by max americana (fired liberals in our company last election, and I laughed while they cried (true story))
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To: Rebelbase
Good choice with a wrist corsage. Pinning something to the front of the dress would give dad an itchy trigger finger... the type that hydrocortisone won't cure.
8 posted on 04/26/2014 7:13:01 PM PDT by KarlInOhio (Republican amnesty supporters don't care whether their own homes are called mansions or haciendas.)
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To: max americana

My Dad met my sister’s date on the front porch sitting in a lawn chair sharpening a double bladed axe with a file. Didn’t even look up at the guy. Just kept on sharpening.

My sister was delivered home safely about 11PM.


9 posted on 04/26/2014 7:17:12 PM PDT by Texas resident (The democrat party is now the CPUSA)
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To: Rebelbase

In the last 20 years I have come to the place where I think I would have my daughter come straight home after prom.

I was traveling cross country and stopped in Mississippi. It just happened to be in a nice motel on prom night.

I suspect some Roman bacchanalia were tame by comparison. I am sure many parents would have been very upset if they knew how their kids were behaving.


10 posted on 04/26/2014 7:17:58 PM PDT by yarddog (Romans 8: verses 38 and 39. "For I am persuaded".)
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To: Rebelbase

I had no interest in the prom. On the day ahead, when many seniors were taking the day of, my English class had a guest speaker about Shakespeare, so I had to go to school. After that, I went to the gun range with my dad, and then my parents took me to Frankie’s oyster restaurant, under the bride/tunnel on-ramp in Norfolk. It was nice.

To this day, I’ll pick time with my parents over any alternatives ...


11 posted on 04/26/2014 7:20:58 PM PDT by Tax-chick (I'd forgotten how much fun it is having a dog.)
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To: Rebelbase

I once dated someone who’s father owned a business such that he had a photocopier at home (very rare back in the 1980’s). He wasn’t home to greet me for the first date so he had the mother photocopy my driver’s license.

I’m now the father of two wonderful girls. I tell them they cannot talk to boys until they are 30.


12 posted on 04/26/2014 7:21:08 PM PDT by posterchild
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To: Tax-chick

Those bride/tunnels can be dangerous.


13 posted on 04/26/2014 7:22:42 PM PDT by posterchild
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To: posterchild

*snert*

I noticed that a little too late.


14 posted on 04/26/2014 7:24:21 PM PDT by Tax-chick (I'd forgotten how much fun it is having a dog.)
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To: Rebelbase

The girl is safe as nothing say, “I’m a queer” like pink on a guy.


15 posted on 04/26/2014 7:27:04 PM PDT by MIchaelTArchangel (Have a wonderful day!)
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To: MIchaelTArchangel

I was wondering if that pink was some sort of new way of dressing but I guess it means the same thing it always did.


16 posted on 04/26/2014 7:31:54 PM PDT by yarddog (Romans 8: verses 38 and 39. "For I am persuaded".)
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To: max americana

Made a mistake as an A/2c to date a general’s daughter. (How the hell did I know he was in the reserves)

Ended up with an assignment in Alaska before it even acquired statehood.

Best thing ever happened to me.


17 posted on 04/26/2014 7:33:28 PM PDT by 353FMG
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To: Rebelbase
I was never much impressed by that sort of thing at that age.

Quite the opposite. That sort of faux-subtle intimidation made me want to keep the lady out well past the appointed return time. Not doing anything scandalous, just sitting and letting the clock tick down and imagining dear old dad having an aneurism.

In retrospect I was kind of a jerk.

18 posted on 04/26/2014 7:39:22 PM PDT by Wyrd bi ful ard (Pope Calvin the 1st, defacto Leader of the FR Calvinist Protestant Brigades)
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To: Wyrd bið ful aræd

My prom date’s dad just gave me a baleful stare, that shook me to my core! She wanted to go to a motel,,,, I wanted to live! Short romance!


19 posted on 04/26/2014 8:50:23 PM PDT by Dr. Bogus Pachysandra ( Ya can't pick up a turd by the clean end!)
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To: Rebelbase

Rules of dating a Drill Instructors daughter...

Rule One: If you pull into my driveway and honk you’d better be delivering a package, because you’re sure not picking anything up.

Rule Two: You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter’s body, I will remove them.

Rule Three: I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off their hips. Please don’t take this as an insult, but you and all of your friends are complete idiots. Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose his compromise: You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes too big, and I will not object. However, in order to ensure that your clothes do not, in fact, come off during the course of your date with my daughter, I will take my electric nail gun and fasten your trousers securely in place to your waist.

Rule Four: I’m sure you’ve been told that in today’s world, sex without utilizing a “barrier method” of some kind can kill you. Let me elaborate, when it comes to sex, I am the barrier, and I will kill you.

Rule Five: It is usually understood that in order for us to get to know each other, we should talk about sports, politics, and other issues of the day. Please do not do this. The only information I require from you is an indication of when you expect to have my daughter safely back at my house, and the only word I need from you on this subject is “early.”

Rule Six: I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities to date other girls. This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter. Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to date no one but her until she is finished with you. If you make her cry, I will make you cry.

Rule Seven: As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear, and more than an hour goes by, do not sigh and fidget. If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating. My daughter is putting on her makeup, a process that can take longer than painting the Golden Gate Bridge. Instead of just standing there, why don’t you do something useful, like changing the oil in my car?

Rule Eight: The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter: Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden stool. Places where there are no parents, policemen, or nuns within eyesight. Places where there is darkness. Places where there is dancing, holding hands, or happiness. Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough to induce my daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff T-shirts, or anything other than overalls, a sweater, and a goose down parka - zipped up to her throat. Movies with a strong romantic or sexual theme are to be avoided; movies which features chain saws are okay. Hockey games are okay. Old folks homes are better.

Rule Nine: Do not lie to me. On issues relating to my daughter, I am the all-knowing, merciless god of your universe. If I ask you where you are going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. I have a shotgun, a shovel, and five acres behind the house. Do not trifle with me.

Rule Ten: Be afraid. Be very afraid. It takes very little for me to mistake the sound of your car in the driveway for a chopper coming in over a rice paddy near Hanoi. When my Agent Orange starts acting up, the voices in my head frequently tell me to clean the guns as I wait for you to bring my daughter home. As soon as you pull into the driveway you should exit your car with both hands in plain sight. Speak the perimeter password, announce in a clear voice that you have brought my daughter home safely and early, then return to your car - there is no need for you to come inside. The camouflaged face at the window is mine


20 posted on 04/26/2014 11:58:25 PM PDT by notaliberal (St. Michael the Archangel, defend us in battle,)
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To: notaliberal

Rule 11: If these rules are too confusing/confining, become a Trappist Monk in the Sinai.


21 posted on 04/27/2014 2:12:32 AM PDT by skinkinthegrass (The end move in politics is always to pick up a gun..0'Bathhouse/"Rustler" Reid? ;-)
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