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Woman's car attacked by self-identified 'high elf' battling evil
KATU News ^ | 5/16/2014 | Colin Miner

Posted on 05/19/2014 10:45:48 AM PDT by Notforprophet

The last thing the woman from Northeast Portland probably expected when she got up Tuesday morning was that she would be attacked by a sword-wielding elf.

But that's what happened around 7 a.m. as she drove her red BMW by the intersection of Southeast 7th and Morrison.

A man dressed in chain-mail with a helmet, shield and carrying a sword and staff ran into traffic and started attacking her car.

(Excerpt) Read more at katu.com ...


TOPICS: Local News; Weird Stuff
KEYWORDS: napl
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1 posted on 05/19/2014 10:45:48 AM PDT by Notforprophet
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To: Notforprophet

Haven’t we all had this kind of a day?


2 posted on 05/19/2014 10:46:25 AM PDT by Notforprophet (Don't Tread On Me)
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To: Notforprophet

Was her car a GM product?


3 posted on 05/19/2014 10:47:37 AM PDT by LucianOfSamasota (Tanstaafl - its not just for breakfast anymore...)
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To: LucianOfSamasota

Red BMW apparently. LSD may have been a factor, per TFA.


4 posted on 05/19/2014 10:48:53 AM PDT by Notforprophet (Don't Tread On Me)
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To: LucianOfSamasota

In a world where Al Borland pimps Pocket Hos, the occasional stoned dwarf is to be expected.


5 posted on 05/19/2014 10:49:42 AM PDT by cripplecreek (Remember the River Raisin.)
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To: Notforprophet

“High” elf. he he. Get it?


6 posted on 05/19/2014 10:49:44 AM PDT by DManA
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To: LucianOfSamasota

red BMW / Morgoth...

I can understand the confusion.


7 posted on 05/19/2014 10:49:56 AM PDT by MrB (The difference between a Humanist and a Satanist - the latter admits whom he's working for)
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To: DManA

Good catch... He admitted to taking LSD.


8 posted on 05/19/2014 10:50:19 AM PDT by MrB (The difference between a Humanist and a Satanist - the latter admits whom he's working for)
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To: Notforprophet

That is something i haven’t seen in years.
A Red BMW!
Elves are an hourly occurrence, but a Red BMW ,that’s rare.


9 posted on 05/19/2014 10:50:27 AM PDT by moose07 (the truth will out ,one day.)
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To: Notforprophet
The last thing the woman from Northeast Portland probably expected when she got up Tuesday morning was that she would be attacked by a sword-wielding elf.

Oh, I don't know. Even here in Charlotte, an elf on acid is more likely than running into a brontosaurus.

10 posted on 05/19/2014 10:50:57 AM PDT by Tax-chick (You say I'm insane ... I say you're afraid.)
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To: Notforprophet

Well it is Portlandia.


11 posted on 05/19/2014 10:51:29 AM PDT by dblshot (I am John Galt.)
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To: moose07

My dad’s first BMW was red. My brother’s first wife got it in the divorce.


12 posted on 05/19/2014 10:51:53 AM PDT by Tax-chick (You say I'm insane ... I say you're afraid.)
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To: Notforprophet

My question is where did this elf hail from? Lord of the Rings, World of Warcraft, Dungeons and Dragons? We will need to see pics of the elf’s weapons and armor to be sure.


13 posted on 05/19/2014 10:51:57 AM PDT by Marko413
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Comment #14 Removed by Moderator

To: Notforprophet

Lucas Prince of Darkness in the flesh?

Did her headlights start flickering?


15 posted on 05/19/2014 10:52:54 AM PDT by freedomlover
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To: Notforprophet
Concealed carry, for those times when the police are 10 to 15 minutes away and you only have seconds to save your own life.
16 posted on 05/19/2014 10:53:24 AM PDT by Robert357 (D.Rather "Hoist with his own petard!" www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/1223916/posts)
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To: Notforprophet
Bass told officers that he . . . was a "high-elf engaged in battle with the evil Morgoth." Bass . . . also told officers he had taken LSD.

If you are going into battle with a being as powerful as Morgoth, its probably not wise to take LSD.

17 posted on 05/19/2014 10:53:26 AM PDT by Opinionated Blowhard ("When the people find they can vote themselves money, that will herald the end of the republic.")
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To: Tax-chick

Haven’t seen a red one in .....long time.
Not an executive colour.....*wwwWWW*


18 posted on 05/19/2014 10:54:03 AM PDT by moose07 (the truth will out ,one day.)
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To: Notforprophet
He should join up with Dart Man from New York, now there was a Superhero, or was he a villain?
19 posted on 05/19/2014 10:54:15 AM PDT by Dr. Sivana ("I'm a Contra" -- President Ronald Reagan)
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To: Opinionated Blowhard

20 posted on 05/19/2014 10:54:23 AM PDT by freedomlover
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To: moose07

Dad was retired when he got it. Eventually he sold it to my brother and got a white one, because he wanted a 4-door.


21 posted on 05/19/2014 10:54:53 AM PDT by Tax-chick (You say I'm insane ... I say you're afraid.)
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To: Notforprophet; KC_Lion

Sounds like an out of control “chunnibyou”....


22 posted on 05/19/2014 10:55:48 AM PDT by GraceG
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To: Notforprophet
"Bass told officers that he wasn't a pirate but a "high-elf engaged in battle with the evil Morgoth. Morgoth is a character created by JRR Tolkien in a prequel to the Lord of the Rings stories. In the stories, he is the character from which all evil grew."

This just in....Morgath has been sighted masquerading as a woman and driving a car in Northeast Portland.

23 posted on 05/19/2014 10:57:39 AM PDT by DannyTN
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To: Notforprophet
The last thing the woman from Northeast Portland probably expected when she got up Tuesday morning was that she would be attacked by a sword-wielding elf.

NO ONE expects the High Elves!

24 posted on 05/19/2014 10:58:12 AM PDT by Billthedrill
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To: Marko413

He told the cops he was fighting Morgoth, so that must be one of Tolkien’s elves... maybe Glorfindel?


25 posted on 05/19/2014 10:58:29 AM PDT by Notforprophet (Don't Tread On Me)
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To: Tax-chick; Darksheare

We are all assuming this was caused by narcotics....but what if...????


26 posted on 05/19/2014 10:59:27 AM PDT by moose07 (the truth will out ,one day.)
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To: Notforprophet
One Car to rule them all, One Car to find them,
One Car to bring them all and in the darkness bind them
In the Land of Bavaria where the Shadows lie.
27 posted on 05/19/2014 11:00:00 AM PDT by KarlInOhio (Republican amnesty supporters don't care whether their own homes are called mansions or haciendas.)
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To: moose07; Darksheare

Did you see the picture? That yutz is NOT a Vanya.


28 posted on 05/19/2014 11:03:11 AM PDT by Tax-chick (You say I'm insane ... I say you're afraid.)
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To: dblshot

I’m wondering how well that series is going over in Portland. I’ve laughed at every episode so far. All the ones I’ve seen have lampooned the p.c. leftist, hippie/feminist lifestyle.


29 posted on 05/19/2014 11:04:59 AM PDT by driftless2 (:-))
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To: Tax-chick

the Yutz clan? didn’t they interbreed with the dwarves?


30 posted on 05/19/2014 11:06:30 AM PDT by SpinnerWebb (IN-SAPORIBVS-SICVT-PVLLVM)
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To: DannyTN

Update: A high elf warrior who had been tracking Morgath was thrown off the trail when Morgath called police claiming the elf was a pirate.


31 posted on 05/19/2014 11:06:47 AM PDT by DannyTN
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To: Notforprophet

Pretty sure her BMW would have trumped any elf magic. Pedal to metal girl, elf boy is going down.


32 posted on 05/19/2014 11:07:01 AM PDT by csvset
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To: Tax-chick; Darksheare

or an Oil painting.


33 posted on 05/19/2014 11:07:25 AM PDT by moose07 (the truth will out ,one day.)
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To: Tax-chick

Your father....how did your brother’s first wife...?err ? Uh I guess never mind!


34 posted on 05/19/2014 11:13:59 AM PDT by mdmathis6 (It was never Bush's fault...Spock's messing with red matter was what screwed us all up!)
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To: Notforprophet

35 posted on 05/19/2014 11:14:19 AM PDT by null and void (When was the last time you heard anyone say: "It's a free country"?)
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To: Marko413

Or the North Pole?

Elves vary a LOT.

Most Middle Earth elves are more or less good guys.

Some others, not so much.


36 posted on 05/19/2014 11:17:17 AM PDT by Sherman Logan
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To: Notforprophet

The only Elf who ever actually fought Morgoth was Fingolfin.

He lost.


37 posted on 05/19/2014 11:18:29 AM PDT by Sherman Logan
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To: Notforprophet
What interests me about this story is that police merely cited him and took him to a hospital where he was 'treated' and released.

That's IT?

So, in Portland OR a man can take psychoactive drugs and run into traffic with a weapon and start attacking occupied vehicles but it's no big deal? Hardly worth the time to issue a citation. Harmless prank.

Makes me wonder what kind of trouble a driver would be in if they had to shoot this drug crazed lunatic five times in the chest in self-defense for attacking his vehicle with a sword.

38 posted on 05/19/2014 11:21:03 AM PDT by The KG9 Kid
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To: Notforprophet
self-identified 'high elf'

Are we allowed to question the stability of people who self-identify as mythical forest creatures?

39 posted on 05/19/2014 11:22:00 AM PDT by RansomOttawa (tm)
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To: Notforprophet

I hate it when that happens.


40 posted on 05/19/2014 11:22:32 AM PDT by Blood of Tyrants (Haven't you lost enough freedoms? Support an end to the WOD now.)
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To: Marko413
My question is where did this elf hail from? Lord of the Rings, World of Warcraft, Dungeons and Dragons? We will need to see pics of the elf’s weapons and armor to be sure.

It was all a big misunderstanding. Turns out he was a Keebler elf, and the "sword" was just a fudge knife.

41 posted on 05/19/2014 11:23:37 AM PDT by RansomOttawa (tm)
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To: Notforprophet
Woman's car attacked by self-identified 'high elf' battling evil

Damn! A person just has to click on a thread with that title :)

42 posted on 05/19/2014 11:26:31 AM PDT by The Cajun (tea party!!!, Sarah Palin, Mark Levin, Ted Cruz, Mike Lee, Louie Gohmert......Nuff said.)
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To: Sherman Logan

Something is bothering me about this story. I could have sworn that high elves never wore chain mail. As a result, I can only conclude that drugs were involved.


43 posted on 05/19/2014 11:27:13 AM PDT by jjsheridan5
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To: RansomOttawa

And in states like California, they should be able to use whatever bathroom and/or locker room or shower facility they choose.


44 posted on 05/19/2014 11:27:31 AM PDT by Free Vulcan (Vote Republican! You can vote Democrat when you're dead...)
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To: Darksheare

Another consumer of your Java?


45 posted on 05/19/2014 11:39:02 AM PDT by Army Air Corps (Four Fried Chickens and a Coke)
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To: DannyTN

Morgoth is the character from which all evil grew.

Carl Marx in other words.


46 posted on 05/19/2014 11:41:14 AM PDT by BenLurkin (This is not a statement of fact. It is either opinion or satire; or both.)
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To: Slings and Arrows

Ping.


47 posted on 05/19/2014 11:44:16 AM PDT by Army Air Corps (Four Fried Chickens and a Coke)
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To: The KG9 Kid

I’d like to be there when the insurance adjuster shows up.


48 posted on 05/19/2014 11:45:46 AM PDT by MrB (The difference between a Humanist and a Satanist - the latter admits whom he's working for)
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To: Notforprophet

49 posted on 05/19/2014 11:48:04 AM PDT by Talisker (One who commands, must obey.)
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To: DannyTN
This just in....Morgath has been sighted masquerading as a woman and driving a car...

Don't get me started on the evil of women driving cars...

50 posted on 05/19/2014 11:49:54 AM PDT by Last Dakotan
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