Skip to comments.McDonald's introduces terrifying Happy Meal mascot to get kids to eat healthier
Posted on 05/20/2014 6:54:02 AM PDT by Responsibility2nd
Having secured its fashionable standing among millennials by giving a clown a vest, McDonalds has since focused its rebranding efforts on young children, in the hopes thatthrough the fresh repurposing of trademark properties and targeted marketingit can somehow get them to want colorful boxes full of toys and hamburgers. To that end, today its introducing American kids to Happy, a character and ambassador for balanced and wholesome eating. As part of promoting that healthy diet, Happy will terrify children into never eating McDonalds again.
Happy is an animated Happy Meal box who was first introduced in 2009 in France, a nation well-versed in the existential angst that its name so ironically conveys. (How can one be happy if our only destiny is to become food? asked the children of France, before puking wine into the ball pit.) Hes since traveled to Latin American countries that now have more reason to hate us, and today made his big U.S. debut on Twitter, where hes already being hailed as an effective deterrent for both appetite and sleep.
Happy is about bringing more fun and excitement to kids meals, including eating wholesome food choices like low-fat yogurt, McDonalds said of its new mascot, which brings the fun of wondering why their Happy Meal appears to have realistic teeth, tongue, and eyeballs, and the excitement of contemplating with horror whether this means Happy also has a functioning digestive systemand whether that means theyre the ones who are the Happy meal. Perhaps the toy surprise inside is their soul, which Happy would be all too happy to play with forever.
McDonalds is betting that, rather than take the risk, most children will instead turn to its low-fat Go-GURT strawberry yogurt, a treat of reassuringly synthetic origin that doesnt resemble Gary Busey with third-degree burns, just like todays kids crave.
Happy will be introduced to the next generation of vegans on May 23.
Nope. Nothing creepy about that, right?
Reminds me of the Vintage Sci-Fi Film Classic, “Kronos”!
That box thing is creepy.
Nothing worse than the Burger King...
That looks like a trash can without the flapper (unless the teeth flap. Wait for people to start filling that thing up with trash...then it will “disappear”.
Have you seen the size of French people lately? They are increasingly obese.
I just feed my kids real food, made from real ingredients, created in my kitchen. But hey, how many gibsmedats want to cook? It cuts into their sleep. I’ve noticed the past five or six years that the private school kids are now fat. Mom and dad are too focused on keeping up with the Joneses so they stop at Micky D’s each night. What does it matter as long as little Dakota (boy or girl) and little Aspen (boy or girl) participate in every sport and club activity?
Those teeth might infringe your copyright.
Eddie Murphy....about all the kids in his neighborhood getting McDonald’s, while he got a “house burger.”
“I got McDonald’s.....Hamburgers. I got McDonald’s.”
“Ewww, what are you doing with that big welfare, green-pepper burger?”
“*WAAAH!* My Mom made it.”
The first round of ads they tested didnt go over so well.
So this must be their Plan B.
Yep, screechy mutant roadkill rodents selling food, that’s the ticket ... oh, wait.
Reminds me of that guy ‘Push’ down at Disney World.
Who, by the way, had his contract terminated.
You’re an apple.
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