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21 Jokes That Only Conservatives Will Find Funny
ijreview.com ^ | 5/20/14 | By Emily Hulsey

Posted on 05/22/2014 6:11:16 AM PDT by blueyon

It’s already been a crazy week around here, which means it’s the perfect time to take a break with a few jokes. And they’re all clean! Hope you enjoy: #1 – Did you hear about the new Obama Diet? You let Putin eat your lunch every day. #2 - How does Obama win the war on terror? He renames it! Its now the overseas contingency operation. #3 - Did you hear about the reporter who asked Obama a hard question? Neither have we! #4 - How many democrats does it take to change a light bulb? .........

(Excerpt) Read more at ijreview.com ...


TOPICS: Chit/Chat; Humor
KEYWORDS: jokes; laugh; obama
Sometimes we just need a good laugh........enjoy
1 posted on 05/22/2014 6:11:16 AM PDT by blueyon
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To: blueyon

2 posted on 05/22/2014 6:17:11 AM PDT by Yo-Yo (Is the /sarc tag really necessary?)
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To: blueyon
0bama jokes are hard, the left don't think they're funny and the right don't think they're jokes.

3 posted on 05/22/2014 6:17:46 AM PDT by BitWielder1 (Corporate Profits are better than Government Waste)
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To: blueyon

#4 - How many democrats does it take to change a light bulb? 5! Al Gore to insure it’s a CFL, an EPA agent in case the bulb breaks and a mercury cleanup is necessary, a person to bail out the home owner, an ACORN member to ensure that the right person changed the bulb, and a member of the media to celebrate the change.

#5 - Why can’t Obama dance? Cause he has two leftist feet.

#6 - Some Republicans are saying that due to his current scandals, President Obama should be impeached. In response, Obama laughed and said, ‘Two words fellas: President Biden.’

#7 - Why won’t Obama have a turkey for Thanksgiving? Because Vice President Biden will be out of town.

#8 - Democrats and liberals always say they are smarter than conservatives. If that is true, then why do Democrats always have problems filling out a ballot?

#9 - Majority Leader Harry Reid is considering a plan for higher payroll taxes on upper-income earners to help finance health care legislation. So apparently, healthcare willl be paid for by the New York Yankees.

#10 - What do Obama and financial scam artists have in common? They both say “yes we can,” they both give hope, they both take your money, and they both will leave you penniless in the end.

#11 - Speaker Nancy Pelosi is in Shanghai to debate climate change with Chinese government officials. I think she’ll do fine. These negotiations always come down to whoever blinks first.

#12 - How many Democrats does it take to change a light bulb? It’s irrelevant; they still don’t know they’re in the dark!

#13 - They say that Christopher Columbus was the first Democrat. When he left to discover America, he didn’t know where he was going. When he got there he didn’t know where he was. And it was all done on a government grant.

#14 - What do you get when you offer a liberal a penny for his thoughts? Change.

#15 - What’s the difference between Bill Clinton and government bonds? Government bonds will mature someday.

#16 - What do you call a basement full of liberals? A whine cellar.

#17 - Nancy Pelosi has now been elected the new House minority leader. She was smiling from ear to ear, which is pretty impressive considering how far her ears have been pulled back.

#18 - Joe Biden accidentally revealed the location of the Vice President’s top secret bunker. The guy can’t help it. But he did apologize. He said, “I am so sorry for the mistake. The launch code is 85334. It will never happen again. It will never happen again. My Gmail password is robot23. What am I doing? The house key is under the plant near the doorstep.”

#19 - What kind of doctor do you need to fix Obamacare? A URLologist.

#20 - What’s Obama’s new slogan in these tough times? Spare Change You Can Believe In!

#21 - Today is #CyberMonday, the day you can buy anything online. And by “anything,” I mean anything but health insurance.


4 posted on 05/22/2014 6:19:00 AM PDT by TaxPayer2000
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To: blueyon
Barrack Hussein Obama

BA DUM TSSSSSH...
5 posted on 05/22/2014 6:28:35 AM PDT by Kartographer ("We mutually pledge to each other our lives, our fortunes and our sacred honor.")
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To: TaxPayer2000

What’s black and white and red all over? Obama.


6 posted on 05/22/2014 6:29:45 AM PDT by sportutegrl
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To: sportutegrl

+1


7 posted on 05/22/2014 6:31:22 AM PDT by MrB (The difference between a Humanist and a Satanist - the latter admits whom he's working for)
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To: sportutegrl

LOL!


8 posted on 05/22/2014 6:34:58 AM PDT by Manic_Episode (GOP = The Whig Party)
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To: blueyon

pfl


9 posted on 05/22/2014 6:37:27 AM PDT by rllngrk33 (Things will continue getting worse until at least January 2017.)
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To: blueyon

How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

THAT’S NOT FUNNY!!!!!!!


10 posted on 05/22/2014 7:39:32 AM PDT by elcid1970 ("In the modern world, Muslims are living fossils.")
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To: TaxPayer2000

The new Hillary Bucket at KFC.

Two tiny breasts, two fat thighs, and two left-wings.

An oldie but still one of my favorites.


11 posted on 05/22/2014 7:41:42 AM PDT by Buckeye McFrog
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To: Kartographer
Q: How do you get 10 liberals out of your swimming pool?

A: Throw in a bar of soap.

Q: How do you get 10 democrats out of your back yard?

A: Put the tax increases in the front yard.

12 posted on 05/22/2014 1:02:40 PM PDT by lafroste (matthewharbert.wix.com/matthew-harbert)
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