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High ‘high elf’ stabs Portland woman’s car with sword
NEW YORK DAILY NEWS ^ | Sunday, May 18, 2014, 6:05 PM | Nicole Hensley

Posted on 05/25/2014 5:14:04 PM PDT by skinkinthegrass

A Glendale, Ore., man decked out for battle and allegedly high on LSD thought he was fighting the evil ‘Morgoth,’ but really, he was stabbing a woman’s car in a Portland, Ore., intersection.

(Excerpt) Read more at nydailynews.com ...


TOPICS: Chit/Chat; Hobbies; Humor; Society
KEYWORDS: deranged; morgoth; nyc; sword; tolkien; whereelse
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This roleplayer rolled an epic fail.

A woman called 911 after a man sporting chain mail, a battle helmet, shield,
sword and staff ran into a Portland, Ore., intersection and attacked her car.

The melee ended with the arrest of Konrad Bass, 30, after he stabbed her vehicle
several times, reported KATU-TV.

The woman reported the fighting man as a pirate on May 13, but Bass challenged
that title and told police he was a “high elf engaged in battle with the evil Morgoth.”

The high elf is a variety of elves featured in the Dungeons and Dragons role-playing
game and Morgoth was the first Dark Lord of Middle Earth, according to
J.R.R. Tolkien’s “The Silmarillion.”

1 posted on 05/25/2014 5:14:04 PM PDT by skinkinthegrass
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To: skinkinthegrass

Perhaps a wood elf, or a valley elf, but certainly not a high elf.

I’d also rule out the sun elves as they tend to go for mushrooms and not the man made chemicals.


2 posted on 05/25/2014 5:17:30 PM PDT by driftdiver (I could eat it raw, but why do that when I have a fire.)
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To: skinkinthegrass

Damnit! Where’s the left demanding knife and sword control?


3 posted on 05/25/2014 5:18:11 PM PDT by dowcaet
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To: Ramius; 300winmag; IrishCatholic; lookout88; Wpin; spetznaz; Smokin' Joe; HungarianGypsy; neb52; ...
searched/checked- no reply.


SWORD PING!...


4 posted on 05/25/2014 5:19:14 PM PDT by skinkinthegrass (The end move in politics is always to pick up a gun..0'Bathhouse/"Rustler" Reid? d8-)
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To: skinkinthegrass

We’ve been cracking up over this for more than a week.


5 posted on 05/25/2014 5:19:50 PM PDT by Tax-chick (You say I'm insane ... I say you're afraid.)
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To: skinkinthegrass

The Left Coast has been coming unglued this weekend.........


6 posted on 05/25/2014 5:23:59 PM PDT by Viking2002 (Liberals - destroyers of both men and civilizations. The Fourth Turning Cometh.)
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To: dowcaet
don't give 'em any ideas...
next screwdriver control..
flashlight control..etc..etc..

7 posted on 05/25/2014 5:24:40 PM PDT by skinkinthegrass (The end move in politics is always to pick up a gun..0'Bathhouse/"Rustler" Reid? d8-)
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To: skinkinthegrass

He is right. He is a high elf, but not in the same sense that most of us are thinking.


8 posted on 05/25/2014 5:24:57 PM PDT by notpoliticallycorewrecked (The more I know, the more I realize that how much more there is to learn.)
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To: skinkinthegrass

Must’ve rolled a natural 1.


9 posted on 05/25/2014 5:25:33 PM PDT by Antihero101607
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To: skinkinthegrass

Maybe not quite a week. Anyway, it’s still funny.

On a technical note, the lady could not have been Melkor/Morgoth in disguise, because he was fixed in his terrifying incarnation after his second assault on the Valar. He could no longer appear as a harmless Portlandish gal in a red BMW.


10 posted on 05/25/2014 5:26:40 PM PDT by Tax-chick (You say I'm insane ... I say you're afraid.)
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To: driftdiver

And he got NO JAIL TIME! Epic justice system FAIL!!


11 posted on 05/25/2014 5:29:24 PM PDT by 2harddrive
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To: skinkinthegrass
THE High Elf

12 posted on 05/25/2014 5:29:30 PM PDT by BenLurkin (This is not a statement of fact. It is either opinion or satire; or both.)
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To: All
Is he; the one, not biblical
(Highlander movie)

13 posted on 05/25/2014 5:30:31 PM PDT by skinkinthegrass (The end move in politics is always to pick up a gun..0'Bathhouse/"Rustler" Reid? d8-)
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To: skinkinthegrass; Slings and Arrows; SunkenCiv; DeoVindiceSicSemperTyrannis; fidelis; JDoutrider; ...

Eru Ilúvatar will not be pleased.


14 posted on 05/25/2014 5:33:52 PM PDT by Perdogg (Ted Cruz-Rand Paul 2016)
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To: BenLurkin; All
THE High Elf

when you least expect it!
No one expect the Spanish Inquisition!
egads!..i've hijacked my own..*nevermind*

15 posted on 05/25/2014 5:38:18 PM PDT by skinkinthegrass (The end move in politics is always to pick up a gun..0'Bathhouse/"Rustler" Reid? d8-)
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To: Perdogg
I'm reading the Silmarillion to my younger sons (12, 10, 8, 5). Some of them can intelligently discuss the similarities and differences between the fictional cosmogony and Catholic doctrine, with reference to Greek and Norse myth. (Some are building their vocabulary, if nothing else.)

We don't learn much about the personality of Eru/Iluvatar. Does he have a sense of humor?

16 posted on 05/25/2014 5:39:27 PM PDT by Tax-chick (You say I'm insane ... I say you're afraid.)
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To: Tax-chick

Right. Tulkas is never around when you need him.


17 posted on 05/25/2014 5:41:44 PM PDT by Sherman Logan
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To: 2harddrive

He must have thrown a spell or something.

No, I don’t play this stupid game.


18 posted on 05/25/2014 5:45:21 PM PDT by driftdiver (I could eat it raw, but why do that when I have a fire.)
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To: skinkinthegrass

19 posted on 05/25/2014 5:51:52 PM PDT by E. Pluribus Unum ("The more numerous the laws, the more corrupt the government." --Tacitus)
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To: Sherman Logan; Anoreth
Tulkas is never around when you need him.

No kidding. I think the Eldar would have said the same. "Okay, you say you're on our side ... but where are you now?"

Tolkien's fictional spiritual world is a complicated mélange of Christian and Germanic-pagan. You can hear his Germanic heart singing, "Morgen rot, morgen rot!" with the Riders of Rohan, as his Christian intellect reminds us that the berserkergang is a bit ... barbarian ... not quite the thing ... kinda like we're supposed to know better, but ...

If there's an overarching theme, it's "Where were you when I needed you?" "If you're all that, what went wrong?"

It's the universal dilemma of humanity vs. our deities. It can only be "resolved" in Christ: in the incarnation of the Son of God, His passion, death, and resurrection, which subsumes/incorporates our suffering, death, and resurrection.

20 posted on 05/25/2014 5:53:16 PM PDT by Tax-chick (You say I'm insane ... I say you're afraid.)
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To: skinkinthegrass

21 posted on 05/25/2014 6:28:14 PM PDT by Bobalu (What cannot be programmed cannot be physics)
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To: skinkinthegrass

Just... Wow. Though it’s too bad there’s no pics of the sword. :-)


22 posted on 05/25/2014 6:29:21 PM PDT by Ramius (Personally, I give us one chance in three. More tea anyone?)
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To: skinkinthegrass

A Illusionist cast a spell on him and he failed his saving throw.


23 posted on 05/25/2014 6:40:31 PM PDT by Lazamataz (Early 2009 to 7/21/2013 - RIP my little girl Cathy. You were the best cat ever. You will be missed.)
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To: Lazamataz

Wrong fictional milieu.


24 posted on 05/25/2014 6:42:18 PM PDT by Tax-chick (You say I'm insane ... I say you're afraid.)
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To: Tax-chick

He shot all the centipedes and now he has a high score.


25 posted on 05/25/2014 6:43:11 PM PDT by Lazamataz (Early 2009 to 7/21/2013 - RIP my little girl Cathy. You were the best cat ever. You will be missed.)
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To: Tax-chick

He just bought Park Place, and now he can build houses on Park Place and Boardwalk.


26 posted on 05/25/2014 6:44:34 PM PDT by Lazamataz (Early 2009 to 7/21/2013 - RIP my little girl Cathy. You were the best cat ever. You will be missed.)
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To: Tax-chick

He put on his robe and wizard hat.


27 posted on 05/25/2014 6:44:54 PM PDT by Lazamataz (Early 2009 to 7/21/2013 - RIP my little girl Cathy. You were the best cat ever. You will be missed.)
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To: skinkinthegrass

Guy musta been out of it to think he could stab Morgoth with a measly sword.


28 posted on 05/25/2014 6:45:46 PM PDT by Some Fat Guy in L.A. (Still bitterly clinging to rational thought despite it's unfashionability)
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To: Lazamataz

Confused yourself, didn’t you?

You left out, “All your base are belong to us!”


29 posted on 05/25/2014 6:50:56 PM PDT by Tax-chick (You say I'm insane ... I say you're afraid.)
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To: E. Pluribus Unum

“WT F-— is that?
Seriously, WT f-— is that?”

A ‘John Dies at the End’ reference.


30 posted on 05/25/2014 6:59:34 PM PDT by dynachrome (Vertrou in God en die Mauser)
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To: Lazamataz

LMAO, well played.


31 posted on 05/25/2014 7:21:57 PM PDT by gura (If Allah is so great, why does he need fat sexually confused fanboys to do his dirty work? -iowahawk)
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To: dynachrome

That’s the nightmare monster from The Fisher King.


32 posted on 05/25/2014 7:29:56 PM PDT by E. Pluribus Unum ("The more numerous the laws, the more corrupt the government." --Tacitus)
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To: Lazamataz

I hate when that happens


33 posted on 05/25/2014 7:35:19 PM PDT by sten (fighting tyranny never goes out of style)
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To: E. Pluribus Unum

Cool. I’ll have to watch it some day. Terry Gilliam can be out there.


34 posted on 05/25/2014 7:36:45 PM PDT by dynachrome (Vertrou in God en die Mauser)
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To: dynachrome
fisher king knight
35 posted on 05/25/2014 7:37:52 PM PDT by E. Pluribus Unum ("The more numerous the laws, the more corrupt the government." --Tacitus)
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To: skinkinthegrass

I thought “too much Red Bull”. My daughter, “bath salts”.


36 posted on 05/25/2014 7:43:20 PM PDT by Lee N. Field ("And if you are Christ's, then you are Abraham's offspring, heirs according to promise" Gal 3:29)
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To: skinkinthegrass

I didn’t know that Patrick Kennedy was visiting Oregon.


37 posted on 05/25/2014 7:46:04 PM PDT by july4thfreedomfoundation (I don't want to feel "safe." I want to feel FREE!)
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To: Tax-chick
Tolkien's fictional spiritual world is a complicated mélange of Christian and Germanic-pagan.

With a dash of Kalevela, according to something I stumbled across in a Wikipedia wander he other day.

38 posted on 05/25/2014 7:51:16 PM PDT by Lee N. Field ("And if you are Christ's, then you are Abraham's offspring, heirs according to promise" Gal 3:29)
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To: skinkinthegrass; a fool in paradise

More proof that cars are evil or that drugs are bad


39 posted on 05/25/2014 7:52:40 PM PDT by GeronL (Vote for Conservatives not for Republicans)
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To: 2harddrive

No jail?

There was already a trial and sentence?


40 posted on 05/25/2014 7:54:29 PM PDT by GeronL (Vote for Conservatives not for Republicans)
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To: Lee N. Field; Dead Corpse; Darksheare

You could throw that in under “Germanic paganism,” or you could dump it in with “All that Greek stuff and whatall.” For my Pat, the Greek Geek, it’s interesting to look at the ways Tolkien’s Ainu and Valar and Maiar are similar to Greek gods/spirits, but different, and similar to Norse deities, but yet, and have connection with archangels, angels, and demons, but not exactly like ...

As a writer, though, Tolkien really throws himself into the Nordic milieu, and then he draws himself back ... Oh, wait a minute, I don’t really worship Odin, do I? What was I thinking?

I think it comes back to the existential doubt, Is God really on my side? What is He like? Can I get on His team? And then you throw in your poetry, and it gets complicated.


41 posted on 05/25/2014 7:58:38 PM PDT by Tax-chick (You say I'm insane ... I say you're afraid.)
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To: Some Fat Guy in L.A.
Guy musta been out of it to think he could stab Morgoth with a measly sword.

Fingolfin wounded him multiple times with his sword. Morgoth limped ever after.

Quite possibly this guy was under the impression he was Fingolfin going for a rematch.

42 posted on 05/25/2014 8:31:44 PM PDT by Sherman Logan
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To: Tax-chick; Lazamataz; All
"Confused yourself, didn’t you?
You left out, “All your base are belong to us!”
i thougt that was a given.

43 posted on 05/25/2014 8:34:19 PM PDT by skinkinthegrass (The end move in politics is always to pick up a gun..0'Bathhouse/"Rustler" Reid? d8-)
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To: Tax-chick

There are also some interesting parallels to CS Lewis’ Space Trilogy.

Lewis’ eldili have obviously parallels to the Valar/Maiar, including some of them turning to darkness and evil.


44 posted on 05/25/2014 8:37:59 PM PDT by Sherman Logan
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To: Lee N. Field; All
"I thought “too much Red Bull”.
My daughter, “bath salts”.
maybe both; washed down w/skittles and Arizona sweet tea while,
watching too much He-Man cartoons..when not on the 'puter.

45 posted on 05/25/2014 8:46:34 PM PDT by skinkinthegrass (The end move in politics is always to pick up a gun..0'Bathhouse/"Rustler" Reid? d8-)
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To: driftdiver

I think he was definitely an elf who was ‘high’, though not necessarily a high elf.

Dungeons & Dragons & Diethylamide (of the Lysergic acid kind). I guess ‘cid does that to you.


46 posted on 05/25/2014 9:09:36 PM PDT by A Formerly Proud Canadian (I once was blind but now I see...)
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To: skinkinthegrass

Reminds me of the movie, “Just Visiting”.


47 posted on 05/25/2014 9:16:57 PM PDT by Dogbert41 (Up yours NSA !)
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To: skinkinthegrass

48 posted on 05/26/2014 5:21:39 AM PDT by Altariel ("Curse your sudden but inevitable betrayal!")
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To: GeronL

The cops just let him go. Maybe he will get sued.


49 posted on 05/26/2014 5:57:23 AM PDT by 2harddrive
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To: 2harddrive
The cops just let him go. Maybe he will get sued.

He might have skipped town. Under "Next of Kin" he left this business card:


50 posted on 05/26/2014 6:24:52 AM PDT by COBOL2Java (I'm a Christian, pro-life, pro-gun, Reaganite. The GOP hates me. Why should I vote for them?)
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