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Home Life at the Office: Should Women Talk About Their Kids at Work?
The Lakeland Ledger ^ | unday, May 25, 2014 | CINDY KRISCHER GOODMAN

Posted on 05/26/2014 5:54:50 AM PDT by Sam's Army

Sitting at a lunch table, my co-worker mentioned she had been up all night with her daughter who was teething. A few minutes later, the conversation around the lunch table turned to a team project. I noticed the group was excluding my co-worker from the discussion, assuming she was too tired to contribute.

That was the first time I realized it was a bad idea for women to talk about their kids and home life at the office.

Career blogger Penelope Trunk believes being your true self at work means taking risks and letting people in the workplace see you for who you are outside the office, too.

(Excerpt) Read more at theledger.com ...


TOPICS: Business/Economy; Society
KEYWORDS: parenthood; workplace

1 posted on 05/26/2014 5:54:50 AM PDT by Sam's Army
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To: Sam's Army
Of course we learn what's most important to the "blogger" who is considered an authority on the topic:

"On her blog she writes: "I have written many posts about how important it is for gay people to come out of the closet at work."

2 posted on 05/26/2014 5:56:55 AM PDT by Sam's Army
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To: Sam's Army

And never SHUT UP about it once they do come out.


3 posted on 05/26/2014 5:59:12 AM PDT by Kozak ("It may be dangerous to be America's enemy, but to be America's friend is fatal" Henry Kissinger)
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To: Sam's Army
My work is my work.
My family is my family.

I do not mix the two, and I never understand people who treat work as one big social gathering -- "So, on Saturday night, I was out with Denise -- she has that new boyfriend you know -- well, we just got so drunk! When her boyfriend found out ..."

Sorry. I just don't need to hear anything at all in that vein. Let's discuss our 3 o'clock meeting instead: we have still have numbers to crunch.

I don't see this as a man-woman thing or an "I've got kids" thing. You're here to work. You're getting a paycheck. I have an idea -- focus on the work and shut up about the rest.

4 posted on 05/26/2014 5:59:54 AM PDT by ClearCase_guy (Fegelein! Fegelein! Fegelein!)
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To: Sam's Army

They are at lunch. Why is someone bringing up a new project? Another reason why I take lunch solo.


5 posted on 05/26/2014 6:01:03 AM PDT by Dr. Sivana ("I'm a Contra" -- President Ronald Reagan)
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To: Sam's Army

If homosexuals are encouraged to come out at work, and not shut up about it, then to me, certainly mothers should feel free to come out of a closet, and talk about their children. Makes sense to me.

I personally would prefer to hear about a mother’s life with her children, rather than hear about a homosexual’s life. That’s just me.


6 posted on 05/26/2014 6:01:50 AM PDT by Dilbert San Diego (et)
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To: Kozak

If I talked about my sex habits at work, I’d be written up for creating a “hostile working atmosphere.” But I am straight so the rules are different for me.


7 posted on 05/26/2014 6:02:15 AM PDT by mrs. a (It's a short life but a merry one...)
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To: Sam's Army

I have heard plenty of men talk about their kids at work even being up during the night with them. The author is just an idiot who wants something to complain about. I haven’t seen women treated differently because of talking about their kids.


8 posted on 05/26/2014 6:09:51 AM PDT by she geek
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To: ClearCase_guy
I'm with you on that.

Some years ago I took a class in human resources management as a college elective, and there were a number of interesting case studies about management styles of the American corporate culture and the Japanese corporate culture. They distinguished the two cultures in five different ways. I forget what all of them were, but I believe one of them was the difference between American companies where executives enjoy special benefits and Japanese companies where the CEO doesn't even get a reserved parking space outside the building.

Anyway ... the case studies and further research suggested that the ideal company took four of the Japanese characteristics and one American characteristics. The one area where the Japanese managerial style was seen as inferior to the American style was the overbearing intrusion of a Japanese employer into the lives of its employees. I think about that every time I overhear a conversation among my employees about their home/personal life. I don't really give a sh!t, dude ... you're here to get a job done.

9 posted on 05/26/2014 6:20:31 AM PDT by Alberta's Child ("What in the wide, wide world of sports is goin' on here?")
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To: ClearCase_guy

some people work with personal friends of theirs.

Or, they work somewhere, and make friends with people they work with. IF that happens, then naturally there will be spillover of home life into the workplace. But everyone needs to focus on work when they are “on the clock”, whether you work with personal friends of not.


10 posted on 05/26/2014 6:24:40 AM PDT by Dilbert San Diego (et)
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To: ClearCase_guy

This self-centered feminista should not be at work talking ABOUT her kids. She should be at home talking TO her kids. The poor kids need her love and attention.


11 posted on 05/26/2014 6:31:27 AM PDT by heye2monn (MO)
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To: ClearCase_guy

You only want to talk number crunching AT LUNCH? Wow, that’s an attitude that has always made me hate the grey, boring life of office work.


12 posted on 05/26/2014 6:35:33 AM PDT by miss marmelstein (Richard Lives Yet!)
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To: Dr. Sivana

When I worked in offices, I always did lunch solo. Walked around the city, breathed semi-fresh air and even checked into my local church for a quick prayer & a bit of meditation. I returned to the office totally refreshed.


13 posted on 05/26/2014 6:38:53 AM PDT by miss marmelstein (Richard Lives Yet!)
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To: Dr. Sivana

I am with you. Lunch for me was down time. (I’m retired now.) If I was with others I did not want to discuss work. Discussing what was going on in others lives was OK with me. I too would rather take lunch solo rather than it be just one more hour of work.


14 posted on 05/26/2014 6:42:32 AM PDT by super7man
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To: she geek

The discussion about children can easily spiral into a Mommy competition, showing off and bragging about each kid. That excludes non-parents and wears on a lot of guys.
Another risk women fail to appreciate is that always talking about their children at work subtly suggests that they aren’t mentally at work, or less capable professionally because of family responsibilities.


15 posted on 05/26/2014 6:55:49 AM PDT by tbw2
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To: Kozak

And don’t ever put any queers in your HR department. Next thing you know your company will be overrun by them.


16 posted on 05/26/2014 6:59:26 AM PDT by henkster (Do I really need a sarcasm tag?)
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To: Sam's Army

The old guard used to avoid politics and religion at work.

Men talked about guns, guitars, cars, sports, and masculine things. Women talked about recipes, home decor, and feminine things. Both talked about the weather and their kids. Everyone seemed to get along with one another and shared their experiences. There was no confusion in deciding which restroom to use.

Men are not as masculine and woman are not as feminine as they used to be and the roles have changed to the point women are now “kicking ass” and men have become “pussies”. And gays, lesbians, and gender benders are suddenly everywhere in the workplace.

Toss in some political correctness, minority racism, freedom from religion, animal activism (their pets are their children - want to see some pictures - types), and veginism and you have the “progressive” liberal utopian workplace of today.

Express any conservative view supporting GOD, country, and family and you will be on the outside searching for a new job.

If you get an invitation to one of your co-workers same sex marriages, best tell them you have to be out of town that day attending a PETA meeting or something. Just don’t tell them PETA stands for People who Eat Tasty Animals (Hat tip to Ted Nugent).

I am retired and glad to be out of the workplace jungle. Peace.


17 posted on 05/26/2014 7:18:26 AM PDT by Texicanus (Texas, it's a whole 'nother country.)
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To: Texicanus

Excellent post! My choice for post of the day.


18 posted on 05/26/2014 7:27:23 AM PDT by miss marmelstein (Richard Lives Yet!)
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To: Sam's Army

Why wouldn’t it be??


19 posted on 05/26/2014 7:58:18 AM PDT by CatherineofAragon ((Support Christian white males---the architects of the jewel known as Western Civilization).)
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To: Dilbert San Diego
"I personally would prefer to hear about a mother’s life with her children, rather than hear about a homosexual’s life. That’s just me."

I agree. Years ago, I worked with a queer who used to announce he would be seeing his "boyfriend" that night so he needed to pick up some enemas beforehand.

20 posted on 05/26/2014 8:00:14 AM PDT by CatherineofAragon ((Support Christian white males---the architects of the jewel known as Western Civilization).)
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To: Sam's Army

BREEDERZ!!!


21 posted on 05/26/2014 9:21:38 AM PDT by Caipirabob (Communists... Socialists... Democrats...Traitors... Who can tell the difference?)
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To: Sam's Army

OK, I just skimmed this. But you haven’t lived until you’ve worked with somebody who’s undergoing gender reassignment.
But I generally believe that you should keep your personal life at home, when in doubt. It helps keep people out of politics and religion and other risky territory. Also if you’re visiting a lot, it may be you’re neglecting your work. You need special care with conversations in ear shot of customers and vendors, too. Vendors can be Typhoid Marys of company gossip, repeating it to competitors, etc.

I will mention a company by name—Days Inn Bozeman, because I generally liked working there, and it was 22 years ago. We had this tiny breakroom, smokers and nonsmokers together. I had lunch outside a lot, with a book, but couldn’t do this every day because its Bozeman and nobody is tough enough to do that in winter without proper clothing, etc. in summer it was like 90 of course. One of the girls talked nonstop about her husband, in-laws, etc. A lot of stuff was also b.s. and it was easy to call her out with inconsistencies in her stories, so I did. This did not go over well. Later she got in trouble for a false accusation of domestic abuse against the husband and even her own mother said she was lying.
Another one was a Queen Bee talking about her fingernails, her ex-husband, what she saw on TV the night before(Alf). I swear that these people are one of the best reasons to become self-employed.
I will add that I am not a big fan of employers trying to tell employees how to live at home on their off-hours either. Swedish Hospital in Seattle tried doing this with cigarette smoking and it did not go over well. Now that marijuana is legal here, I don’t know how they will handle that.


22 posted on 05/26/2014 10:46:55 AM PDT by crazycatlady
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To: Dilbert San Diego

I suspect that is the root of this article.

Talking about families, makes gay co-workers feel uncomfortable, so they are trying to get rid of anything in the workplace that is considered “Hetero-Normative.”


23 posted on 05/26/2014 10:49:42 AM PDT by dfwgator
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To: CatherineofAragon

geez, too much information.

And I would say the same of any guys who describe in such detail the big night they had planned with a girlfriend. The whole world does not need to know everything. Some people have no sense of boundaries or decency.


24 posted on 05/26/2014 1:25:26 PM PDT by Dilbert San Diego (et)
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To: Dilbert San Diego

I worked in a bar/package store in the seventies and answered to a manager whose favorite saying was “small minds talk about people, average minds talk about events and great minds talk about ideas.”
Except he talked about sex with the (somewhat embarrassed) beer men. That’s events, I guess.


25 posted on 05/26/2014 5:10:43 PM PDT by crazycatlady
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To: Dilbert San Diego

I agree. Some things should stay private....I don’t want to hear about them.


26 posted on 05/26/2014 6:06:44 PM PDT by CatherineofAragon ((Support Christian white males---the architects of the jewel known as Western Civilization).)
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To: Sam's Army

In the immortal words of a character from Dilbert: Having a personal life is like stealing from the company.

People forget that companies are manned by people who spend most of their lives doing something else.


27 posted on 05/26/2014 7:38:16 PM PDT by Some Fat Guy in L.A. (Still bitterly clinging to rational thought despite it's unfashionability)
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