Skip to comments.My husband became a ‘woman,’ and it ruined our marriage – and my future relationships
Posted on 05/29/2014 7:34:13 AM PDT by Morgana
MELBOURNE, Australia, May 27, 2014 (LifeSiteNews.com) What happens when a good Catholic girl marries the man of her dreams, and then he tells her he thinks he's a woman?
It yields heartbreak and a lifetime of emotionally stunted relationships, according to an autobiographical essay in Sunday's Sydney Morning Herald that asks society to consider the other side of the transgender debate.
The woman, whose name has been withheld, was 18 years-old when she met Ryan, a musician who slowly worked his way into her heart. His sense of humor made the self-described good Catholic girl fall for the young man, who was trying to get ahead in the 1980s Australian music scene.
When he asked her to move to Melbourne with her, she had second thoughts. I did not want to 'live in sin,' she wrote. So, he asked for her hand in marriage.
Although she believed their life was idyllic, he became sullen and withdrawn. Soon, he left her a letter saying he believed he was a woman trapped inside a man's body.
That night there was no talk of us breaking up, she said. His attitude was, 'I love you and I am going to become a woman and keep on loving you.'
My attitude was, 'Become a woman or a werewolf, but just don't leave me,' she said.
I think Ryan really believed everything would continue as it was when he became female, she said. But she was shocked one day when she returned home and saw him watching television while wearing her clothing.
I spent a long time wondering if you really love someone, does it matter what gender they are? she said. I couldn't come up with any answers other than, yes, it did.
Despite their efforts to maintain a healthy marriage, Ryan's drive for self-actualization and fulfillment killed their relationship and left the woman heartbroken.
He moved out and had a breast implant surgery phoning his wife to ask if she could bring him size 16 Playtex Cross-Your-Heart bra.
The divorce was mutual by the time it was finalized in 1990. Ryan was so consumed by his change that our marriage had become secondary, she wrote.
She said her ex-husband moved on pretty fast, meeting another male-to-female transsexual at his transgender meetings. I was overseas when his new partner called to say Ryan's penis had been successfully removed.
She said she went numb before responding that her ex-husband's new lover must believe that was good news. But it closed what had been the happiest chapter of her life. The man I had loved was gone.
The heart-wrenching end of her marriage left her emotionally scarred and unable to commit herself to another person. I've had relationships, most of them brief, and haven't allowed myself to fall in love again, she said.
I don't regret my marriage, as it gave me great joy for many years, and I certainly don't blame Ryan or myself for what happened. But I do regret the repercussions" of his decision to alter his anatomy, she added.
Her story, the rare tale of how a transgender person's transition harms those close to them and who love them the most, was offered to broaden the debate over the practice, which is more widely accepted in culturally liberal Australia.
"Most transgender stories are told from the perspective of the person who changes, not their partner's or family's, she wrote. I think it is important to have the other side told, as the effects are far-reaching for all concerned."
A Psychosis always results in some sort of tragedy!
Yep. These type of things tend to happen once mental disorders are declared normal by the inmates now running the asylum.
So she stayed with this mentally ill she/he for years. Some women are not too bright.
She shouldn't blame herself, but Ryan is definitely a different matter...
Glen or Glenda?
I would have reached that point much earlier, but everyone has a point where reality eventually smacks you in the face....
There are no “transgender” persons, only severely delusional men or women who mutilate themselves in surgery.
story made me puke a little.
“I was overseas when his new partner called to say Ryan’s penis had been successfully removed. processing................... “
Don’t try dude! It will crash your hard drive!
“Self actualization”. Really?
And vice versa...................
I’m drinking an Alka-Seltzer now so please have mercy
Im on the lookout for the move to redefine “Kiddie Lovers” sane and normal.
Thats the point of no return!!
John Cleese’s wife was soooooooo hawt!
Yep, she was Polly in Fawlty Towers.
And let me assure you, the men were even nastier.
Well, lol, yeah. That would do it.
At this point in the article, I thought the whole thing was a joke...
This happened in 1990 and the story ends there - I’d like to read Ryan’s biography after that. Probably a very unhappy story.
There are people who truly believe that they where meant to be born without legs. They truly believe they should have their legs removed. Some people go so far as to mutilate their legs.
These people are insane. Just as a person who believes they are actually supposed to be a different sex. Why are we supposed to cater to these peoples psychosis? Would it not be better for all concerned, and society, that these people receive treatment for their insanity?
Notice how the psycho husband found another transgendered person to hook up with. Another male to female freak.
I guess I really am a lesbian trapped in a mans body!
” was overseas when his new partner called to say Ryan’s penis had been successfully removed.
Another successful chopadickoffame
They forced me to shout them many a tube of the frosty amber fluid. Besides, as we now know, the "Sheila Test" isn't foolproof, at least in Australia.
Exactly! He is still genetically male and always will be. His mental aberration should have been altered,not his body. Mutilation to match a psychosis does not change what you are anymore than an actor putting on a costume makes him Superman. I`m waiting for doctors to start surgically altering people who think they are animals or aliens. You FIX disorders you don`t change your body-and society-to validate them. Poor woman...but she enabled his sickness too. She should discover why.
there is a really good story line regarding this situation in the Netflix series, "Orange is the New Black..."
Transgender = Crazy
A detective that would find his blood at a crime scene would come to the conclusion he is male.
An archeologist that found his bones a hundred years from now would conclude he was male.
Just as nuetering my male dog did not make him a female, does not make this mutilated guy a woman.
“I was overseas when his new partner called to say Ryan’s penis had been successfully removed.
Is it me or does that quote make you want to shield your privates?
I hope she was able to get an annulment. This sounds like the very definition of a justified annulment.
And her husband, ending up with another M to F transsexual - that’s exactly what the autogynephiliacs do - this isn’t some guy who thought he was a girl from early childhood - this is a guy who was aroused by the thought of himself as a woman and took cross-dressing to the extreme. A selfish indulgence of the sexual impulse rather than a desperate attempt to make body and mind match.
You know how the mainstream advice columnists generally say that cross-dressing is a harmless paraphilia, so don’t worry if your husband does it? And they print letters from a wife in a happy marriage who helps her husband cross-dress.
In this permissive and luxuriant age, a lot more of these men are going to take cross-dressing to its hormonal and surgical extreme. Run, ladies, run if you aren’t married to the guy yet.
The advice columnists ought to tell these men to have the integrity to tell the woman about the cross-dressing urge well before marriage, not after.
They were married for years, way too late for an annulment. Just get a divorce.
well, i don’t understand why being overseas is relevant to the removal, for starters. meaning, should have waited till i was back or what?
He didn’t become a woman.
He had his parts chopped off and took hormones and tried to mimic female mannerisms.
It is still a man. Mutilated man.
These people are insane.
Hater! You need sensitivity re-education. Tolerance and diversity require that we give those people taxpayer-funded amputations.
Don't you just hate it when that happens!
Actually, that part is the saving grace of this article (and the larger situation as well): it’s not just about the person doing whatever “fulfills” or “validates” them, but about the emotional wreckage that fulfillment/validation visits on others as well.
We all know that mainstream advocacy of pedophillia is coming. The ONLY way to successfully stand against it is by making the same argument this woman makes: that one persons “fulfillment/validation” can and, in the case of pedophillia WILL emotionally destroy others that get caught up in it.
Already being done.
not to leave out DU’s own “Underground Panther” who determined she was really a male cat and starting getting those kind of treatments....
well, I can imagine it’s a shock to a woman, to learn her husband wants to be a girl. geez............
A steer is not a cow, it is a castrated bull.
City folks make life more complicated than it really is.
Well I’m a lesbian trapped in a . . . crap, that’s an old joke. Never mind.
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