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Let's Come Up With The Dumbest Bergdahl-Swap Defense!
Original Content | June 7, 2014 | By Laz A. Mataz

Posted on 06/07/2014 8:21:57 AM PDT by Lazamataz

Recently, I documented the insane verbal diarrhea-like fountain of lame Bergdahl-Taliban swap justifications. They consist of "we did it because Bergdahl was in bad health", "because he is a soldier who served with honor and distinction", "Hey! Those who criticize him are Swiftboating him!", "The platoon colleagues who criticize Bergdahl are psychopaths", "If you don't like this swap, you are a racist who hates Obama", and "Obama couldn't inform congress because the Taliban would kill Bergdahl".

But they just won't stop, and it seems like it is a race to the worst. Mark Finkelstein documents an even lamer excuse: "That we wouldn't leave a good Jewish kid over in Afganistan, you know."

So, I figure the administration is running out of super-lame excuses for this politically motivated, purposefully distracting terrorist favoring deal. Free Republic to the rescue! We can help!

Here is my entry. Put yours on the thread:

"April 15 just passed, and Bergdahl's father took a huge tax hit because he could no longer claim Bowe Bergdahl as a dependent. We needed to swap five dangerous Taliban terrorists to give Bergdahl senior a little tax relief. What are you, a Tax-lover????"


TOPICS: Humor; Weird Stuff
KEYWORDS: afghanistan; bobbergdahl; bowebergdahl; gitmo
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1 posted on 06/07/2014 8:21:57 AM PDT by Lazamataz
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To: governsleastgovernsbest

Your title made me think of this contest.


2 posted on 06/07/2014 8:22:37 AM PDT by Lazamataz (Early 2009 to 7/21/2013 - RIP my little girl Cathy. You were the best cat ever. You will be missed.)
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To: ErnBatavia; Bob; Kenny

Comeon guys, a little help here


3 posted on 06/07/2014 8:26:08 AM PDT by Lazamataz (Early 2009 to 7/21/2013 - RIP my little girl Cathy. You were the best cat ever. You will be missed.)
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To: Lazamataz

My prediction stands: They will find “documents” showing he was a spy.


4 posted on 06/07/2014 8:26:28 AM PDT by raybbr (Obamacare needs a death panel.)
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To: Lazamataz

“One of the Five is my daddy and I just couldn’t let him rot in prison any more.”


5 posted on 06/07/2014 8:27:21 AM PDT by Gaffer
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To: Lazamataz
Obama wanted to amuse Joe Namath!!


6 posted on 06/07/2014 8:27:29 AM PDT by MeshugeMikey ( "Never, never, never give up". Winston Churchill)
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To: raybbr

Good! Dumb, but certainly not the dumbest. We need real DUMB excuses to feed to THIS administration. They won’t use any plausible ones.


7 posted on 06/07/2014 8:27:39 AM PDT by Lazamataz (Early 2009 to 7/21/2013 - RIP my little girl Cathy. You were the best cat ever. You will be missed.)
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To: raybbr

Spy for who? You don’t mean our US do you? Ridiculous.


8 posted on 06/07/2014 8:27:56 AM PDT by Gaffer
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To: Gaffer

Nice! :)


9 posted on 06/07/2014 8:28:00 AM PDT by Lazamataz (Early 2009 to 7/21/2013 - RIP my little girl Cathy. You were the best cat ever. You will be missed.)
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To: MeshugeMikey

Very good! Namath needs amusing!


10 posted on 06/07/2014 8:28:29 AM PDT by Lazamataz (Early 2009 to 7/21/2013 - RIP my little girl Cathy. You were the best cat ever. You will be missed.)
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To: Lazamataz
Had to get the Senior Taliban leadership out of GITMO, Castro was complaining they were smelling up the place.


11 posted on 06/07/2014 8:29:10 AM PDT by darkwing104 (Forgive but don't forget)
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To: Lazamataz
He had to be "rescued" so that his parents could use his back pay .....

...for haircuts and badly needed personal grooming.


12 posted on 06/07/2014 8:29:49 AM PDT by shibumi (Cover it with gas and set it on fire.)
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To: Lazamataz
Here's my current list:

1. Libs including the President and his senior advisers are really as stupid as we think they are.

2. Obama foolishly believed that he could, with the help of the MSM, supress the fact that Bergdahl was a deserter and very likely a collaborator to boot.

3. Obama was blackmailed into making a trade that even he knew would be political poison.

4. Obama was just doing his job as an al Qaeda operative.

13 posted on 06/07/2014 8:31:33 AM PDT by InterceptPoint
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To: Lazamataz

Oprah needed Bergdahl to interview for Super Soul Sunday. The GITMO boys were merely karma paid forward.


14 posted on 06/07/2014 8:31:39 AM PDT by TADSLOS (The Event Horizon has come and gone. Buckle up and hang on.)
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To: raybbr
My prediction stands: They will find “documents” showing he was a spy.

My prediction is that he will come out as gay and demand sexual reassignment surgery.

The only reason he left his platoon was because they were homophobic and were mean to him.

15 posted on 06/07/2014 8:33:16 AM PDT by usurper (Liberals GET OFF MY LAWN)
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To: Lazamataz

We need to counter the “Isn’t one soldier’s life worth it?” defense or “He’s really a good guy” or “If that was my kid”.

Our answer should be no. How many of our kids are dying every day to stop terrorism, how many coming back with no legs or PTSD? They sacrifice their lives to protect America from terrorists. Why would one soldier’s life trump all of theirs?

Yet Obama sent in five super-bad terrorists to go after those soldiers serving in the field or to go after America. How many ‘kids’ will that cost us? I guarantee the number will be staggering next to one POW no matter who it was.

The left is pushing this no soldier left behind meme but there will be many soldiers left behind thanks to Obama. Don’t be afraid to say the truth. They think public opinion might turn if we say Bergdahl wasn’t worth it, time to take that chance. Too much at stake to play the their game.


16 posted on 06/07/2014 8:33:23 AM PDT by Kenny
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To: darkwing104

Good job!


17 posted on 06/07/2014 8:33:29 AM PDT by Lazamataz (Early 2009 to 7/21/2013 - RIP my little girl Cathy. You were the best cat ever. You will be missed.)
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To: Lazamataz

“Our intelligence told us he was a woman trapped in a man’s body trapped in a terrorist camp trapped in a foreign land because of Bush’s war, so it was triple word score rescue personally overseen by the president in the command center where he was black and it reminded him of his grandfather and his father so he did it for the children and learned about the next day on the television in the gym where he was pumping iron.”

18 posted on 06/07/2014 8:34:02 AM PDT by dead (I've got my eye out for Mullah Omar.)
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To: usurper
My prediction is that he will come out as gay and demand sexual reassignment surgery. The only reason he left his platoon was because they were homophobic and were mean to him.

If this is not a thread winner, it will be in the top five! BRILLIANT!

19 posted on 06/07/2014 8:34:16 AM PDT by Lazamataz (Early 2009 to 7/21/2013 - RIP my little girl Cathy. You were the best cat ever. You will be missed.)
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To: Lazamataz

We needed to bring him home so we could try him for desertion.


20 posted on 06/07/2014 8:34:49 AM PDT by DManA
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To: dead

Another top-five candidate! We’re cookin’ with gas now!


21 posted on 06/07/2014 8:34:51 AM PDT by Lazamataz (Early 2009 to 7/21/2013 - RIP my little girl Cathy. You were the best cat ever. You will be missed.)
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To: DManA

Nice spin! Use the Republican’s arguments against them! Quite good!


22 posted on 06/07/2014 8:35:26 AM PDT by Lazamataz (Early 2009 to 7/21/2013 - RIP my little girl Cathy. You were the best cat ever. You will be missed.)
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To: Lazamataz

The Devil made him do it. :=)


23 posted on 06/07/2014 8:35:34 AM PDT by Georgia Girl 2 (The only purpose o f a pistol is to fight your way back to the rifle you should never have dropped.)
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To: TADSLOS

Good one!


24 posted on 06/07/2014 8:35:48 AM PDT by Lazamataz (Early 2009 to 7/21/2013 - RIP my little girl Cathy. You were the best cat ever. You will be missed.)
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To: Georgia Girl 2

LOL

And yeah, literally.


25 posted on 06/07/2014 8:36:06 AM PDT by Lazamataz (Early 2009 to 7/21/2013 - RIP my little girl Cathy. You were the best cat ever. You will be missed.)
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To: Lazamataz

Too late.

The taliban made him do it.


26 posted on 06/07/2014 8:36:39 AM PDT by cripplecreek (Remember the River Raisin.)
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To: shibumi

And BTW, why wasn’t she in a burka.


27 posted on 06/07/2014 8:36:50 AM PDT by CARTOUCHE (9999 EOM)
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To: Lazamataz

We can’t top what is coming from DC laz. They will beat us every time.

We have to TRY thinking of teH SutUpiDz...to them it flows like water.


28 posted on 06/07/2014 8:37:03 AM PDT by Norm Lenhart (How's that 'lesser evil' workin' out for ya?)
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To: shibumi

Hey! Hold on for a tick! Jani Bergdahl is a hottie and I would so hit that. The hairmess actually works on her.


29 posted on 06/07/2014 8:37:05 AM PDT by Lazamataz (Early 2009 to 7/21/2013 - RIP my little girl Cathy. You were the best cat ever. You will be missed.)
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To: Lazamataz

“Dude, this was like two weeks ago.”


30 posted on 06/07/2014 8:37:32 AM PDT by Proud2BeRight
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To: Norm Lenhart
We can’t top what is coming from DC laz. They will beat us every time.

I dunno. I bet they use the list we are coming up with. Some of them are really good!

31 posted on 06/07/2014 8:38:06 AM PDT by Lazamataz (Early 2009 to 7/21/2013 - RIP my little girl Cathy. You were the best cat ever. You will be missed.)
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To: Proud2BeRight
“Dude, this was like two weeks ago.”

OMG! Actually made me laugh. Top five candidate.

32 posted on 06/07/2014 8:38:48 AM PDT by Lazamataz (Early 2009 to 7/21/2013 - RIP my little girl Cathy. You were the best cat ever. You will be missed.)
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To: Lazamataz

He was Five-Years Late For His Dental-Hygiene???????????????


33 posted on 06/07/2014 8:38:58 AM PDT by bandleader
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To: bandleader

Good!


34 posted on 06/07/2014 8:39:11 AM PDT by Lazamataz (Early 2009 to 7/21/2013 - RIP my little girl Cathy. You were the best cat ever. You will be missed.)
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To: Lazamataz

Do any of us really WANT to prove we can be dumber than the Obama admin? I don’t think any of us can gear our brains to that level of idiocy. And if we can it scares me ;)


35 posted on 06/07/2014 8:39:57 AM PDT by Norm Lenhart (How's that 'lesser evil' workin' out for ya?)
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To: Lazamataz

I actually think I heard someone say that this week, but I might have dreamed it. Getting harder and harder to tell the difference anymore.


36 posted on 06/07/2014 8:40:40 AM PDT by DManA
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To: Lazamataz

Ok, I’ve rambled on endless but, in a nutshell.

Why is one POW, no matter who it is, worth more than than the soldiers this trade endangered?

These five could kill thousands of Americans, at least kill many of our soldiers. Why is each soldier’s life this trade put in danger worth less than a single POW.


37 posted on 06/07/2014 8:40:42 AM PDT by Kenny
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To: Lazamataz

The swap was made because Joe Biden got an email saying:

“Greetings for you my dearly friend. I have great news to you. You have won the Middle East Lottery Prize of One Trillion Dollars! To claim your prize, send five bloodthirsty terrorists to the lottery office in Qatar and we will right away send American courier to you with your big prize. You have great luck my friend, please reply soon. Singed, Joe Abbabalad”


38 posted on 06/07/2014 8:41:19 AM PDT by LostInBayport (When there are more people riding in the cart than there are pulling it, the cart stops moving...)
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To: Lazamataz

I would like to see a special event in the White House Rose Garden for the parents of the six American soldiers who who were killed while looking for Bergdahl, the deserter.


39 posted on 06/07/2014 8:41:21 AM PDT by Avid Coug
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To: Norm Lenhart

It’s a good exercise, and it also is some quality Alinsky-style mockery of the administration and their minions. :)


40 posted on 06/07/2014 8:41:47 AM PDT by Lazamataz (Early 2009 to 7/21/2013 - RIP my little girl Cathy. You were the best cat ever. You will be missed.)
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To: LostInBayport

Top five candidate!


41 posted on 06/07/2014 8:42:08 AM PDT by Lazamataz (Early 2009 to 7/21/2013 - RIP my little girl Cathy. You were the best cat ever. You will be missed.)
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To: Lazamataz
It will be difficult to outdo the administration's dumb excuses.
42 posted on 06/07/2014 8:42:26 AM PDT by Know et al (Keep on Freepin'!!!)
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To: Lazamataz

Oh for sure. I’m just worried we could actually do it. ;)


43 posted on 06/07/2014 8:44:03 AM PDT by Norm Lenhart (How's that 'lesser evil' workin' out for ya?)
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To: Lazamataz

Obama’s regular supplier was on vacation in Medellin and he heard from the CIA that Bowe had some really great shit. So he had Jarret wire a few million to the captors.


44 posted on 06/07/2014 8:44:27 AM PDT by CARTOUCHE (9999 EOM)
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To: Lazamataz

Sorry, misread title. Thought you were looking for defense against swap. On your subject,

Bill Cosby’s toss of a Coin - If historical figures had a referee and coin toss.
__________________________________________________________
Settlers v. British

Settlers win. Settlers say they can wear anything they want shoot from behind trees or anywhere.

British have to wear red and march in straight lines
__________________________________________________________

Sitting Bull v. Custer

Sitting Bull wins. Says Custer and his soldiers have to wait at the bottom of the hill while all the indians in the world ride down on them.
___________________________________________________________

Obama v. Taliban

Taliban wins. Says Obama has to release his five scariest prisoners and give them a little walking around cash. Taliban will release their cribbage partner, aka, Bergdahl, thus giving Obama all the cover of a clear shower curtain.


45 posted on 06/07/2014 8:44:50 AM PDT by Kenny
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To: Lazamataz

Obama and Rice were afraid he was going to give up Coca Cola’s secret recipe.


46 posted on 06/07/2014 8:44:58 AM PDT by PGR88
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To: Cyber Liberty; CatherineofAragon; melissa_in_ga; Slings and Arrows; Responsibility2nd; ...
The Official Lazamataz Sometimes-Funny, Sometimes-Disturbing Ping List
251 Satisfied Customers!™

Some of the entries are hilarious! We have some good folks at Free Republic! Enjoy....

47 posted on 06/07/2014 8:46:50 AM PDT by Lazamataz (Early 2009 to 7/21/2013 - RIP my little girl Cathy. You were the best cat ever. You will be missed.)
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To: Lazamataz
he has an audition for dancing with the starz...

48 posted on 06/07/2014 8:48:36 AM PDT by Chode (Stand UP and Be Counted, or line up and be numbered - *DTOM* -vvv- NO Pity for the LAZY - 86-44)
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To: Lazamataz

Bergdahl is now 28 and off his father’s health plan. We had to bring him back so he could sign up for ObamaCare and that will save his life.


49 posted on 06/07/2014 8:48:41 AM PDT by Starstruck (If my reply offends, you probably don't understand sarcasm or criticism...or do.)
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To: Lazamataz

What’s with the reference to Bowe B. being a ‘Jewish Kid’?

Is his Mom Jewish? His Dad’s family name is Scandinavian.


50 posted on 06/07/2014 8:50:26 AM PDT by Gumdrop (~)
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