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Cuckolded Husband Sells Wife's Wedding Dress
I Can Has Cheezburger? ^ | 6/13/14

Posted on 06/14/2014 5:32:03 PM PDT by Slings and Arrows

Here's what the husband wrote for the ad:

Due to be married soon? Not planning on staying faithful? Want to sleep with one of your soon-to-be husband's closest friends? Then THIS is the wedding dress for you!

This stunning, tuille swathed, ivory bridal gown has a proven track record of producing an adulterous, deceitful, double-crossing and traitorous "soulmate".

A one of a kind garment designed by Benedict Arnold, believed to be derived from the very cloth Judas Iscariot himself wore to the Garden of Gethsemane to betray the only son of God – Jesus Christ.

This harlot-sized ensemble will make you the envy of your trampish posse on your fraudulent wedding day.

As an added bonus, this dress gives you the "entitlement" to legally obtain over half of your husband-to-be's worldly possessions.

This dress is guaranteed to provide you with approximately two years of reasonable wedded mediocrity before the complete and utter disintegration of your relationship due to your extramarital promiscuity.

Cosmetically, the garment is in better condition than the marriage – not looking for much. Make an offer.


TOPICS: Humor; Society; Weird Stuff
KEYWORDS: napl
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Well, that escalated quickly.
1 posted on 06/14/2014 5:32:03 PM PDT by Slings and Arrows
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To: Slings and Arrows; MeekOneGOP; Conspiracy Guy; DocRock; King Prout; Darksheare; OSHA; ...


2 posted on 06/14/2014 5:33:05 PM PDT by Slings and Arrows (You can't have Ingsoc without an Emmanuel Goldstein.)
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To: Slings and Arrows

...problem?


3 posted on 06/14/2014 5:34:40 PM PDT by RichInOC (No! BAD Rich! (What'd I say?))
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To: Slings and Arrows

It’s the long, slow ones that you need to worry about


4 posted on 06/14/2014 5:35:53 PM PDT by APatientMan (Pick a side)
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To: RichInOC

...u mad?


5 posted on 06/14/2014 5:37:53 PM PDT by Slings and Arrows (You can't have Ingsoc without an Emmanuel Goldstein.)
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To: Slings and Arrows

It seems topless. Maybe he shouldn’t have chosen a woman who wanted to be half-naked at their wedding.


6 posted on 06/14/2014 5:37:59 PM PDT by Tax-chick (I have a classic sports car.)
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To: APatientMan

“Beware the fury of a patient man.”


7 posted on 06/14/2014 5:38:11 PM PDT by Slings and Arrows (You can't have Ingsoc without an Emmanuel Goldstein.)
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To: Tax-chick

Oooh, I’m writing that one down.


8 posted on 06/14/2014 5:38:56 PM PDT by Slings and Arrows (You can't have Ingsoc without an Emmanuel Goldstein.)
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To: Slings and Arrows

9 posted on 06/14/2014 5:39:22 PM PDT by EEGator
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To: Slings and Arrows

We professional counselors know to look for these subtle signs of a deteriorating relationship. If the hat box has a severed head in it, that’s another sign.


10 posted on 06/14/2014 5:41:36 PM PDT by Billthedrill
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To: Tax-chick

At least the bride went with ivory, rather than white.


11 posted on 06/14/2014 5:44:22 PM PDT by PAR35
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To: Slings and Arrows

Well, surely the purpose of a sexy wedding dress is to show other men what they’re missing. The bride is either going to have sex with her husband after the wedding, or (given today’s mores) already has and doesn’t need to make an effort to appeal to him.

Maybe by the time they get around to getting married, she’s ready to move on, and the dress is advertising.


12 posted on 06/14/2014 5:44:27 PM PDT by Tax-chick (I have a classic sports car.)
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To: Slings and Arrows

Probably he’s in a very angry mood now, but this is very immature and childish acting out.

Adultery is serious business, but I’ve heard it described as something approaching murder. It’s not. If your spouse is compelled to bed someone else, just bail, shake the dust from your sandals, and find someone who will love and appreciate you.


13 posted on 06/14/2014 5:44:54 PM PDT by Ted Grant
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To: PAR35

I think that’s the lighting on the photo. It looks white to me.

My wedding dress was blue. I look dead in white, especially in February. I got a lot of compliments.


14 posted on 06/14/2014 5:45:44 PM PDT by Tax-chick (I have a classic sports car.)
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To: Billthedrill

Man, I am just getting tons of good advice today!


15 posted on 06/14/2014 5:48:49 PM PDT by Slings and Arrows (You can't have Ingsoc without an Emmanuel Goldstein.)
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To: Slings and Arrows
There are better uses for it...


16 posted on 06/14/2014 5:51:38 PM PDT by Joe 6-pack (Qui me amat, amat et canem meum.)
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To: Slings and Arrows; Lazamataz

Well, that escalated quickly.>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Not quickly enough, Laz wants to know what she looks like.

Photos please!


17 posted on 06/14/2014 5:53:03 PM PDT by Candor7 (Obama fascism article:(http://www.americanthinker.com/2009/05/barack_obama_the_quintessentia_1.html))
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To: Tax-chick

At least the dress matched your eyes...


18 posted on 06/14/2014 5:53:15 PM PDT by Delta Dawn (Fluent in two languages: English and cursive.)
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To: Ted Grant

The traditional thing to do was shoot the other guy.
Gentlemen did it in duels. Peasants did it in other ways.


19 posted on 06/14/2014 5:53:20 PM PDT by buwaya
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To: Ted Grant

He may very well be acting out.... but it is well done. Some great zingers in there if they were uttered one at a time.


20 posted on 06/14/2014 5:53:49 PM PDT by Ouderkirk (To the left, everything must evidence that this or that strand of leftist theory is true)
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To: Tax-chick

Ah geez, I have to apologize.

I thought this thread was about the quick freezing of cucumbers.

I am so sorry...


21 posted on 06/14/2014 5:56:42 PM PDT by Delta Dawn (Fluent in two languages: English and cursive.)
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To: Slings and Arrows

Amusing. However this man’s honor cannot be restored until he deals with the man who slept with his wife in a definitive manner and then the wife.


22 posted on 06/14/2014 5:56:43 PM PDT by allendale
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To: Delta Dawn

Yes, it did. Thank you for noticing!

It was light blue, with an off-white organza over-dress, at a substantial (at the time) per-yard price. The whole thing cost only about $350, but my wedding budget was only $3,000.

A Mexican seamstress/designer in San Antonio made it; she’d made a gorgeous dress my roommate wore to her sister’s debut. She also owned a taco stand, next to the dress shop, so she could yell at the employees out the window from her sewing machine!


23 posted on 06/14/2014 5:58:31 PM PDT by Tax-chick (I have a classic sports car.)
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To: Joe 6-pack

I remember that guy, and yes , he was awesome.


24 posted on 06/14/2014 6:00:26 PM PDT by Slings and Arrows (You can't have Ingsoc without an Emmanuel Goldstein.)
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To: buwaya

Violence and death over a trampy wife strikes me as remarkably stupid. You want the girl? Choke on her, pal. That’s what I say.


25 posted on 06/14/2014 6:01:01 PM PDT by Ted Grant
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To: Ouderkirk

No doubt, I got some chuckles from it.


26 posted on 06/14/2014 6:01:46 PM PDT by Ted Grant
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To: Joe 6-pack

Too much blue in the die lot to be of use. ;)


27 posted on 06/14/2014 6:03:17 PM PDT by RushIsMyTeddyBear (Great vid by ShorelineMike! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KOZjJk6nbD4&feature=plcp)
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To: Tax-chick

I will be eternally grateful...to someone.... when the “strapless gown” genre is over.


28 posted on 06/14/2014 6:03:48 PM PDT by ZinGirl (kids in college....can't afford a tagline right now)
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To: Slings and Arrows

Deuteronomy 22:22 If a man be found lying with a woman married to a husband, then they shall both of them die, the man that lay with the woman, and the woman: so shalt thou put away the evil from Israel.


29 posted on 06/14/2014 6:04:10 PM PDT by Veggie Todd (The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants. TJ)
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To: ZinGirl

The tackiest thing is when the bra straps are just sitting there, like she imagines they’re invisible.


30 posted on 06/14/2014 6:04:40 PM PDT by Tax-chick (I have a classic sports car.)
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To: Tax-chick

No, really, Tax-chick, how did you feel about your wedding dress...:)


31 posted on 06/14/2014 6:08:25 PM PDT by Delta Dawn (Fluent in two languages: English and cursive.)
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To: Tax-chick

:) yup. plus.....leave a bit for the imagination....as my mother would say. :)


32 posted on 06/14/2014 6:09:23 PM PDT by ZinGirl (kids in college....can't afford a tagline right now)
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To: Delta Dawn

Liked it, thanks for asking. It had a top and everything.


33 posted on 06/14/2014 6:10:53 PM PDT by Tax-chick (I have a classic sports car.)
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To: Slings and Arrows

Original Ad at this link. Good luck on getting a photo of her.

http://www.gumtree.com.au/s-ad/bradbury/wedding/wedding-dress-for-bride-seeking-eventual-infidelity/1048655543


34 posted on 06/14/2014 6:11:20 PM PDT by Candor7 (Obama fascism article:(http://www.americanthinker.com/2009/05/barack_obama_the_quintessentia_1.html))
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To: Tax-chick
You actually lost me there somewhere about,

with an off-white organza over-dress

Whatever the heck that meant. I am sure that you were lovely though...
35 posted on 06/14/2014 6:12:34 PM PDT by Delta Dawn (Fluent in two languages: English and cursive.)
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To: Candor7

Not holding my breath on that one.


36 posted on 06/14/2014 6:15:28 PM PDT by Slings and Arrows (You can't have Ingsoc without an Emmanuel Goldstein.)
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To: Slings and Arrows

I sent an e-mail to the poster of the advertisement, and asked him to anonymously post a copy of the photo here on this thread. Who knows? Nothing ventured , nothing gained.LOL.


37 posted on 06/14/2014 6:21:36 PM PDT by Candor7 (Obama fascism article:(http://www.americanthinker.com/2009/05/barack_obama_the_quintessentia_1.html))
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To: Slings and Arrows
So, she's available?
38 posted on 06/14/2014 6:23:02 PM PDT by MaxMax (Pay Attention and you'll be pissed off too! FIRE BOEHNER, NOW!)
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To: Tax-chick

Wedding dresses have mostly been strapless since around 1998. My MIL said they look like bath towels. My wife wore a very becoming gown with long lace sleeves & it covered her shoulders. This was back in 1983.

Strapless gowns only look really good on a few gals, let’s face it. For years I have called them Second Amendment brides since they obviously believe in the right to bare arms.

MIL also asked, why is the bride showing off that which only her husband is supposed to see?


39 posted on 06/14/2014 6:27:35 PM PDT by elcid1970 ("In the modern world, Muslims are living fossils.")
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To: Candor7

How do you know Laz didn’t caused this?


40 posted on 06/14/2014 6:30:39 PM PDT by Freedom_Is_Not_Free (Free goodies for all -- Freedom for none.)
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To: Tax-chick

I’m told I look great in red.
I hate red.


41 posted on 06/14/2014 6:33:24 PM PDT by Darksheare (Try my coffee, first one's free..... Even robots will kill for it!)
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To: Freedom_Is_Not_Free; Lazamataz

How do you know Laz didn’t caused this?>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Laz was there in OZ?


42 posted on 06/14/2014 6:33:49 PM PDT by Candor7 (Obama fascism article:(http://www.americanthinker.com/2009/05/barack_obama_the_quintessentia_1.html))
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To: MaxMax

I dunno - a prize like that gets snapped up pretty quickly.


43 posted on 06/14/2014 6:35:36 PM PDT by Slings and Arrows (You can't have Ingsoc without an Emmanuel Goldstein.)
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To: Slings and Arrows

He was. Not that I blame him.


44 posted on 06/14/2014 6:42:14 PM PDT by RichInOC (No! BAD Rich! (What'd I say?))
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To: Slings and Arrows

Cuckolded husband is a term you don’t hear bandied about often. That is a funny sounding word.


45 posted on 06/14/2014 6:45:55 PM PDT by SamAdams76
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To: RichInOC

Nor I.


46 posted on 06/14/2014 6:46:22 PM PDT by Slings and Arrows (You can't have Ingsoc without an Emmanuel Goldstein.)
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To: JRandomFreeper

Over here!


47 posted on 06/14/2014 6:47:02 PM PDT by Clay Moore (I Like My Guns Like Obama Likes His Voters: Undocumented)
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To: Clay Moore
That's one problem I never had (or knew about at any rate). All of mine got the boot for some other reason. But they did get the boot.

/johnny

48 posted on 06/14/2014 6:50:02 PM PDT by JRandomFreeper (Gone Galt)
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To: Slings and Arrows

Um... does it bother anyone else that the word Cuckolded is not being used properly in the context of the story?


49 posted on 06/14/2014 7:14:19 PM PDT by Rodamala
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To: Tax-chick
My wedding dress was blue. I look dead in white, especially in February. I got a lot of compliments.

Why is it we must always ask for pictures?

50 posted on 06/14/2014 7:15:32 PM PDT by verga (Conservative, leaning libertatian)
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