Posted on 06/14/2014 5:32:03 PM PDT by Slings and Arrows
Here's what the husband wrote for the ad:
Due to be married soon? Not planning on staying faithful? Want to sleep with one of your soon-to-be husband's closest friends? Then THIS is the wedding dress for you!
This stunning, tuille swathed, ivory bridal gown has a proven track record of producing an adulterous, deceitful, double-crossing and traitorous "soulmate".
A one of a kind garment designed by Benedict Arnold, believed to be derived from the very cloth Judas Iscariot himself wore to the Garden of Gethsemane to betray the only son of God – Jesus Christ.
This harlot-sized ensemble will make you the envy of your trampish posse on your fraudulent wedding day.
As an added bonus, this dress gives you the "entitlement" to legally obtain over half of your husband-to-be's worldly possessions.
This dress is guaranteed to provide you with approximately two years of reasonable wedded mediocrity before the complete and utter disintegration of your relationship due to your extramarital promiscuity.
Cosmetically, the garment is in better condition than the marriage – not looking for much. Make an offer.
...problem?
It’s the long, slow ones that you need to worry about
...u mad?
It seems topless. Maybe he shouldn’t have chosen a woman who wanted to be half-naked at their wedding.
“Beware the fury of a patient man.”
Oooh, I’m writing that one down.
We professional counselors know to look for these subtle signs of a deteriorating relationship. If the hat box has a severed head in it, that’s another sign.
At least the bride went with ivory, rather than white.
Well, surely the purpose of a sexy wedding dress is to show other men what they’re missing. The bride is either going to have sex with her husband after the wedding, or (given today’s mores) already has and doesn’t need to make an effort to appeal to him.
Maybe by the time they get around to getting married, she’s ready to move on, and the dress is advertising.
Probably he’s in a very angry mood now, but this is very immature and childish acting out.
Adultery is serious business, but I’ve heard it described as something approaching murder. It’s not. If your spouse is compelled to bed someone else, just bail, shake the dust from your sandals, and find someone who will love and appreciate you.
I think that’s the lighting on the photo. It looks white to me.
My wedding dress was blue. I look dead in white, especially in February. I got a lot of compliments.
Man, I am just getting tons of good advice today!
Well, that escalated quickly.>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Not quickly enough, Laz wants to know what she looks like.
Photos please!
At least the dress matched your eyes...
The traditional thing to do was shoot the other guy.
Gentlemen did it in duels. Peasants did it in other ways.
He may very well be acting out.... but it is well done. Some great zingers in there if they were uttered one at a time.
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