Skip to comments.How to live with your parents
Posted on 06/17/2014 8:29:46 AM PDT by Lorianne
Hey, young adults, living at home with Mom and Dad isnt the end of the world if you follow the right advice.
As it goes, reports the U.K.s Daily Mail, nearly 30 percent of adults under age 35 are living at home with their parents.
Why? Well, the economy continues to sputter along, producing few entry-level jobs that allow young college graduates to get their careers underway.
And thanks to soaring tuition costs, there is the record amount of college-loan debt that young people are carrying. Nearly 37 million young Americans owe more than $1 trillion in student-loan debt most of it FEDERAL student loan debt.
When you combine college loans with credit cards and money bummed from family members, says CNN, each member of the Class of 2013 owes an average of $35,200 and thousands owe lots more than that, making the cost of their monthly student-loan payments well more than the cost of a mortgage for a starter home.
So many young people are opting to stay at home with Mom and Dad. Let me offer some helpful tips to make these living arrangements slightly more bearable.
The odds are good that your mother is much more willing than your father to keep covering your expenses even though you may be in your 20s or 30s. Parade magazine reports that 41 percent of parents are giving 10 percent of their combined income to their still-at-home kids.
So the last thing you want to do is further antagonize your father. To that end, always be sure to put the Readers Digest back on the toilet lid, where it belongs. If you need to borrow Dads crossword-puzzle pencil to jot something down, be sure to put that back, too on the toilet lid, right next to the Readers Digest.
Every now and then, approach Dad. Tell him that you are sorry for struggling so long and hard, but the economy is killing you. Still, you say, you would like to pay some monthly stipend to help cover the costs of food and utilities but make sure Mom is there when you make the offer, as she will want to hear nothing of it. In this way, you can placate the old man without having to come up with the extra cash.
By this point in your life, with you still living at home and all, your parents will hold fairly low expectations for you and your future. They wont blame it all on you, of course. Gallup recently released a poll that shows almost 60 percent of Americans think the American dream is dead. Many parents worry their children will be the first generation to not do better than their parents.
Of course, their expectations may be so low, they wont even expect you to pick up after yourself, clean, cut the grass or wash the cars. Every once in a while, surprise them by doing some of these unexpected chores. (Dont surprise them too often, however, or they may begin to expect you to pick up after yourself, clean, cut the grass and wash the cars.)
In any event, since our political leaders are doing little to address our countrys core problems debt, deficit, spending, entitlements, economic growth, federal student-loan bubble, etc. there is every reason to expect young people may live at home way longer than they, or their parents, would like.
Youll need a sense of humor to get through these difficult times. I recommend Readers Digests Life in These United States but, as I said, dont forget to put the magazine back on the toilet lid, where it belongs.
It’s not just young adults, I know quite a few who are middle aged. The way to end that is to STOP VOTING FOR DEMOCRATS AND RINOS. But no, people still do and then they wonder why they get taxed through the wazoo, get laid off then find 2000 people applying for one job. Hey but at least they have Obamacare and action on ‘climate change’.
Well, with the announced (but not yet issued) Executive Order on student loan repayment programs, that could be said to be less than $1T, because Obama has unilaterally shifted some of the burden from student loan borrowers to taxpayers. In the federal guaranteed student loan world it's a zero sum game, what the student does not pay the taxpayer does.
Alas, he's on his own again.
seems the author could have mentioned getting an Obamaphone and stealing the neighbors wi-fi so as to lighten the load on dear old mom and dad for these “necessities”
And WHY do they have this amount of debt? Because they did not save anything for college. Because they did not work while in college. Because they did not live under any sort of reduced standard of living while in college. Because they elected a non-marketable major resulting in a poorly-paying job.
These stories never explore the “why” of people “finding themselves” in unfortunate straits. Yes, some come into hard times through no fault of their own, but far too many are totally responsible for the spot they are now in.
We had mixed feelings when she moved to a distant city, found a great conservative guy worthy of her and got married. They will be home for their first visit since later this month to take a few more of her things back.
Put me on that list.
Prior to the industrial age, multiple generations of families lived in the same house or at least on the property together.
I don’t see a problem with adult kids in the house if they go out, get work, work on their education, add to the love atmosphere and pull their weight around the place.
“How to live with your parents”
Now, how about some rules for the old folks who have to move in with their adult children?
Hard times, and all that.
I’m selling my house and have bought another in combination with my mother. She’s healthy and active but in her early 80’s. Her hearing is not good. We found a nice sixties brick ranch on acreage, garden plots, near a river, view of a lake through the woods. One step into the front door, everything on one level, full basement. Plenty of room for us all, room for the dogs, a big garden. Sort of hidden away but closer to things, shopping, pharmacy, hospital with ER for her sake. I’ll inherit the whole thing when she passes. Seems like a good plan, she’s closer to her grandchild, no more stairs. I’m minus a mortgage with more money in the bank. Works for us.
I love the idea of family compound or families living in close proximity and sharing resources (such as older folks babysitting and young adults helping out more with the physical labor, like yardwork for example, for the older folks.
That’s a great set up.
I hope to do the same with my parents so they don’t ever have to go into a nursing home.
Like the poll suggested....It's dead for the vast majority....What's left of some of the haves might disagree, but it's inordinately clear to most what govenrment has done at all levels, America will likely never recover from.
I am hoping to live again with family down the road. My brother will be moving up to my area and boy I could use the help! Also would be nice to have more people in the house again.
The kids are around and about.
It took many months of searching to find something that felt right, but didn’t cost an arm and a leg. It’s even in a low tax county jurisdiction with no municipal taxes. Elevated but the neighborhood is tucked into a crook of the river, bottomland surrounds on three sides, no flood zones in the neighborhood itself though. One end of the acreage abuts the fields in the river bottom. Quiet, animal friendly, friendly neighbors who largely keep to themselves, seemingly isolated but just a few miles to a new hospital. My only worry is possible future regulatory overreach due to runoff.
Well we are getting ready to move to a mountain retreat and Mom will be living with us in her own downstairs apt. with kitchen. We intend to preserve our privacy to some degree.
>>I dont see a problem with adult kids in the house if they go out, get work, work on their education, add to the love atmosphere and pull their weight around the place.<<
Unfortunately that hasn’t been my experience. In every instance that it’s happened (5 times so far, 3 different step-children), they get comfortable and lazy, and therefore lose the ambition to move back out. I end up having to become the hated-by-all-a$$hole in order to motivate them to leave.
Personally, I moved out when I was 17, worked my a$$ off, and never went back home again; so I simply don’t understand the casual nonchalance of this generation.
My son came to live with me for a while.”
My son returned home for two semesters several years ago when he went part-time at work so he could get his Master’s in Technology. Loved having him there. He helped out some with the bills, cooked most of the meals, did his own laundry and kept his room clean. Was nice to have the help.
My daughter and grandson also lived with me for five years. She’s in heaven now and grandson is grown and lives in another part of the country. Kept me young and filled the house with lots of noisy boys. Really miss them and wouldn’t trade that additional time we had together for anything in the world.
The fact that modern parents seem all too amenable to conjugal visits is exacerbating the problem.
What happens when the parents die and leave nothing for the adult sized children to live on?
Failure to thrive is a moral crime.
In days past everyone pulled his/her weight.
Oh I’m sure there were some deadbeats back then too, but I suspect it was far fewer.