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Archie Bunker Quotes
Internet Movie Database ^ | Unknown | Archie Bunker

Posted on 06/26/2014 1:30:49 PM PDT by Veggie Todd

Funny quotes from All In The Family.

(Excerpt) Read more at imdb.com ...


TOPICS: Humor; TV/Movies
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My favorite:

Edith: [Archie's in the bathroom] Archie! When are ya comin' out?

Archie: Why, ya sellin' the house?

Edith: You've been in there for 20 minutes.

Archie: Who are you? The official time-keeper?

Edith: What are ya doin' in there?

Archie: I'm changing the tile. One more word out of ya and I ain't never comin' out!

1 posted on 06/26/2014 1:30:49 PM PDT by Veggie Todd
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To: Veggie Todd

“Would make you feel any better Little Girl if they was pushed out of windows!?”


2 posted on 06/26/2014 1:36:02 PM PDT by 4yearlurker (Some people say that experts agree!!)
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To: 4yearlurker
“Would make you feel any better Little Girl if they was pushed out of windows!?”

Yeah, that's a good one.

3 posted on 06/26/2014 1:37:37 PM PDT by Veggie Todd (The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants. TJ)
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To: Veggie Todd

Archie’s friend divorced his wife and told Archie the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence. Archie replied; Edith is green enough for me.


4 posted on 06/26/2014 1:43:56 PM PDT by drypowder
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To: Veggie Todd

I always used to wish that someone would push meathead out of a window; preferably the top of the Empire State Building.


5 posted on 06/26/2014 1:44:27 PM PDT by Jean2 (i)
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To: 4yearlurker

Here it is as part of the best gun control debate ever.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FMLJFYRtvuc


6 posted on 06/26/2014 1:45:02 PM PDT by Hillarys Gate Cult (Liberals make unrealistic demands on reality and reality doesn't oblige them.)
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To: Veggie Todd

Archie: Go out and get me a beer.

Edith: Can or bottle?

Archie: We never buy bottles.


7 posted on 06/26/2014 1:45:31 PM PDT by Rodamala
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To: 4yearlurker

My favorite as well.


8 posted on 06/26/2014 1:46:58 PM PDT by MrB (The difference between a Humanist and a Satanist - the latter admits whom he's working for)
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To: Veggie Todd

E: Eat it Archie, it’s good roughage.

A: I don’t need roughage Edith, I need smoothage.


9 posted on 06/26/2014 1:47:43 PM PDT by MarineBrat (Better dead than red!)
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To: Veggie Todd

Archie to George in front of Grandma Jefferson: “Now, don’t be talking like that to your little mammy there.”


10 posted on 06/26/2014 1:49:15 PM PDT by fwdude (The last time the GOP ran an "extremist," Reagan won 44 states.)
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To: Hillarys Gate Cult

If you will notice, they mention the Miller decision of the SCOTUS as proof that military rifles are covered but handguns are not, therefore handguns can be banned.

It is in the full show. That is the ONLY All in the family episode I ever watched as I could not stand the program.


11 posted on 06/26/2014 1:54:14 PM PDT by Ruy Dias de Bivar (Sometimes you need more than seven rounds, Much more.)
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To: Veggie Todd

Archie Bunker: Well, I got the secret weapon that can lay this little lady right away. Here we go. This country was ruined by Franklin Delano Roosevelt!
Cousin Maude: You’re fat.
Archie Bunker: Sticks and stones may break my bones, but Franklin Delano Roosevelt...
Edith Bunker: Archie, you promised never to say that name again in front of Maude.
Archie Bunker: Franklin Delano Roosevelt!
Edith Bunker: [to Maude] He don’t mean nothing. His whole family was for Roosevelt.
Archie Bunker: That was for two terms. But that was it. We didn’t know the guy was going to hold on to the job like a pope!


12 posted on 06/26/2014 1:55:54 PM PDT by dfwgator
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To: Veggie Todd
My favorite words that I still use today are..

Groinacologists

Chromagenes

13 posted on 06/26/2014 1:56:06 PM PDT by lormand (Inside every liberal is a dung slinging monkey)
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To: Veggie Todd

Michael: That’s what’s wrong with this country, nobody asks questions anymore!
Archie: Can I ask *you* a question?
Michael: Sure.
Archie: Why don’t you shut up?


14 posted on 06/26/2014 1:56:29 PM PDT by ZirconEncrustedTweezers (I'm not anti-government, government's anti-me.)
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To: Veggie Todd

To Gloria, who said she thought it was wonderful that a black family was moving into their neighborhood: “Wonderful, huh? Well let’s see how wonderful it is when the watermelon rinds start flying out the window.”


15 posted on 06/26/2014 1:57:52 PM PDT by NJRighty ("It's sick out there and getting sicker" - Bob Grant)
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To: Veggie Todd

You only get the full force of these when you hear Carol O’Connor say them in character in your mind.


16 posted on 06/26/2014 1:59:18 PM PDT by fwdude (The last time the GOP ran an "extremist," Reagan won 44 states.)
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To: Veggie Todd

“For your information, England is a fag country.”


17 posted on 06/26/2014 1:59:31 PM PDT by dfwgator
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To: Veggie Todd
"That is pure crapola!"
18 posted on 06/26/2014 2:00:00 PM PDT by AngelesCrestHighway
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To: Veggie Todd

“Now Mr. Davis, do you take cream and sugar in your eye?”


19 posted on 06/26/2014 2:00:40 PM PDT by dfwgator
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To: fwdude

Carrol O’Connor was a far-left liberal. It must have drove him insane that a lot of people actually agreed with the character he tried to present as a bigoted moron!


20 posted on 06/26/2014 2:03:14 PM PDT by Rides_A_Red_Horse (Why do you need a fire extinguisher when you can call the fire department?)
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To: Rides_A_Red_Horse

Agreed!


21 posted on 06/26/2014 2:13:01 PM PDT by AngelesCrestHighway
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To: Veggie Todd

MEATHEAD Why don’t you run down to the post office and salute a flag?

ARCHIE I will if you go with me!


22 posted on 06/26/2014 2:16:39 PM PDT by Responsibility2nd (NO LIBS. This Means Liberals and (L)libertarians! Same Thing. NO LIBS!!)
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To: Veggie Todd

“People who live in communes are commune-ists.”


23 posted on 06/26/2014 2:17:17 PM PDT by Eccl 10:2 (Prov 3:5 --- "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding")
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To: Veggie Todd

Mike: “You think anyone who wears glasses is a homosexual.”

Archie: “Not true! A man who wears glasses is a four-eyes. A man who is queer is a fag.”


24 posted on 06/26/2014 2:19:34 PM PDT by Huskrrrr
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To: Veggie Todd
We need shows like 'All In The Family' now. If we had that during the past 6 years... Obama would be a joke...

Oh I forgot...he is..

25 posted on 06/26/2014 2:21:19 PM PDT by ExCTCitizen (I'm ExCTCitizen and I approve this reply. If it does offend Libs, I'm NOT sorry...)
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To: Veggie Todd

Archie Bunker: The Reverend Fletcher...

Edith Bunker: Felcher.

Archie Bunker: WHATEVER.


26 posted on 06/26/2014 2:23:02 PM PDT by Responsibility2nd (NO LIBS. This Means Liberals and (L)libertarians! Same Thing. NO LIBS!!)
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To: Responsibility2nd

Reverend Felcher: Archie, When the collection basket is passed, you use it to make change.


27 posted on 06/26/2014 2:27:10 PM PDT by Fair Paul
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To: ExCTCitizen
We need shows like 'All In The Family' now.

All in the Family's biggest triumph was how it made both left and right, black and white, laugh at, and with, each other. Humor defuses animosity, which is why the left screams bloody murder when someone tells an off-color or ethnic joke these days. The left doesn't want people laughing together at shared foibles, they want people at each other's throats.

28 posted on 06/26/2014 2:41:23 PM PDT by JennysCool (My hypocrisy goes only so far)
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To: Rides_A_Red_Horse
Carrol O’Connor was a far-left liberal. It must have drove him insane that a lot of people actually agreed with the character he tried to present as a bigoted moron!

The show's creator was a major lefty, too. Archie's views were supposed to be held up to ridicule by the viewer. But, much like Gordon Gekko's "Greed is good," what to the liberal mind was an abhorrence found resonance in "right" minds to the chagrin of the left. Michael Douglas deals to this day with thumbs-up from people who see greed as a driver of economics rather than the left's whipping boy.

Archie let us get in touch with our inner racist.

29 posted on 06/26/2014 2:50:13 PM PDT by Sparklite
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To: Rides_A_Red_Horse
Carroll O'Conner was a lefty, but he pretty much kept his yap shut once he became the highest paid star on TV.

Yeah he tried to "soften" Archie in the last seasons, which is why the show became terrible.

. Especially when Meathead moved to California.

30 posted on 06/26/2014 4:04:03 PM PDT by boop (I just wanted a President. But I got a rock.)
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To: Veggie Todd

Archie and Edith met a couple that were swingers. They were given extravagant gifts of perfume and cigars by the couple, but were disgusted when they figured out what “swinging” was going to entail. They sent the couple away.

Archie told Edith she had to throw away the perfume.

Edith: Well, ok, but what about the cigars?

Archie: I’m gonna burn ‘em.


31 posted on 06/26/2014 4:06:34 PM PDT by married21 ( As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.)
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I remember watching this show, siding with Meathead and thinking that Archie was a terrible person in general and a racist, to boot.

Over the past few years, I’ve startled myself with how much I sound like Archie - and I’m black. The man spoke the truth.


32 posted on 06/26/2014 4:13:37 PM PDT by radiohead
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To: Sparklite; All

Lear’s father called him “meathead”. Politically, Rob Reiner is a moonbat and his dad Carl prob is one too. I heard Carl interviewed on radio and he said he was proud he got his start through some kind of acting program sponsored by the government. Carl’s sitcom Head of the Family became the Dick Van Dyke show, and the main char was named after Carl’s son: Rob.

If Archie were around today you might hear:
“Hey I read here that there’s a fox loose on the grounds of the White House”

Archie: “I ain’t surprised. Been a family o’ coons livin’ there for quite some time now...”


33 posted on 06/26/2014 4:15:00 PM PDT by raccoonradio
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To: dfwgator

LOL!

On one of the early episodes, Mike’s friend Roger was visiting. He turned out to be straight, but he didn’t look it....he definitely had the appearance of being light in the loafers.

Mike said something about Roger having to leave, and Archie said, “Just open up a window and watch him fly out!”


34 posted on 06/26/2014 4:18:12 PM PDT by CatherineofAragon ((Support Christian white males---the architects of the jewel known as Western Civilization).)
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To: Veggie Todd

When I watched that show in the 1970s, I always identified with Meathead. These days, I identify with Archie Bunker. In fact, I’m older than Archie Bunker was when he was in that TV series and that’s a little bit scary to me.


35 posted on 06/26/2014 5:44:20 PM PDT by SamAdams76
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To: dfwgator

‘Sammy’s Visit’ is/was the single greatest 30 minute episode of any sit-com ever imo. Archie: “I said black meathead, Harvey Belefonte ain’t black.......he’s just a good lookin’ white guy dipped in carmel”!


36 posted on 06/26/2014 5:59:57 PM PDT by bobby.223 (Retired up in the snowy mountains of the American Redoubt and it's a great life!)
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To: Veggie Todd
His "too much permission" speech from the episode where he wanted to baptize his grandson.

"out of the trees and down to the river". LOL!

37 posted on 06/26/2014 6:05:34 PM PDT by southern rock
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To: Veggie Todd
"Faith is something you believe, that no one in his right mind would believe."
38 posted on 06/26/2014 6:06:40 PM PDT by southern rock
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To: Veggie Todd
Speaking on the statue of Liberty - "Send me your poor, your deadbeats and your filthy and they all came. Your PRs, your Japs and your Chinamen, your Krauts and your Heebes, and your English fags. And they all came. and they are free to live in their own separate sections and they'll bust your heat if you go in there".

paraphrased from memory!

39 posted on 06/26/2014 6:17:47 PM PDT by southern rock
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To: Sparklite

One of the accomplishments of All in the Family was to establish the stereotype and perpetuate the myth that conservatives are more racist than liberals.

You might not have realized this, but in truth Archie’s racism is the one trait which he shared with liberals as well as with anyone else.


40 posted on 06/26/2014 6:23:28 PM PDT by reasonisfaith ("...because they received not the love of the truth, that they might be saved." (2 Thessalonians))
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To: Veggie Todd

As God is my witness, until now, I did not know that Mike Stivic was Meatheads name.


41 posted on 06/26/2014 7:48:34 PM PDT by BBell (The Blue Dog is Stupid)
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To: reasonisfaith
I HAVE to give Norman Lear props on some level.

In the show "push back" the liberals are playing a game where you REALLY tell the truth.

Lionel and Mike are back to back and Lionel mentions how he likes Mike OK, but sometimes thinks Mike "uses" him as some kind of badge, proving he's not some bigot like Archie.

It ends up with Mike getting angry and throwing the game board on the floor.

Some of the very best episodes, like where Mike is jealous of his friend painting Gloria in the nude, shows Mike's human, if not "conservative" side.

Another one that I like is when Mike gets passed over for a promotion because of affirmative action.

As a kid I sided with Mike. As an adult I side with Archie.

Minus the bigotry, of course.

Mike seemed to "grow" quite a bit during the show's run.

If there was a re-boot, Mike would have become a (reluctant) right-winger.

42 posted on 06/26/2014 9:28:59 PM PDT by boop (I just wanted a President. But I got a rock.)
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To: Veggie Todd

Archie to Meathead: “We didn’t crawl out from under no rocks, we ain’t got no tails, and we didn’t come from monkeys neither you atheistic pinko Meathead”.


43 posted on 06/26/2014 9:43:40 PM PDT by cva66snipe ((Two Choices left for U.S. One Nation Under GOD or One Nation Under Judgment? Which one say ye?))
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To: cva66snipe

Edith to Archie: “I said Stifle and I meant Stifle. Stifle Stifle Stifle.” That episode was their best IMO.


44 posted on 06/26/2014 9:47:29 PM PDT by cva66snipe ((Two Choices left for U.S. One Nation Under GOD or One Nation Under Judgment? Which one say ye?))
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To: lormand

I still use “clovage”. Gloria was wearing Hot Pants and Archie says to her “Hey, Little Girl you are showing too much clovage” After Mike moved to CA and Edith dies no reason to watch.


45 posted on 06/27/2014 4:18:23 AM PDT by bjorn14 (Woe to those who call good evil and evil good. Isaiah 5:20)
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To: Veggie Todd

Archie Bunker was one of the most liberal shows around at the time and even as a younger teen, I couldn’t stand it. When they attacked guns, I was done, never watched it again.


46 posted on 06/30/2014 9:58:32 AM PDT by Aut Pax Aut Bellum (We really elected a guy named Hussain?)
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To: Sparklite

Lear didn’t create it. He updated a British show.


47 posted on 07/14/2014 9:03:44 PM PDT by Borges
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To: Borges

Three’s Company was a sanitized remix of a Brit show called Man About the House. In the UK original, the guy living with the two girls was always trying to get into their britches. John Ritter’s character was a mewling faggot dumbed down to American squeamishness with sex.


48 posted on 07/15/2014 10:38:30 AM PDT by Sparklite
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To: Veggie Todd

Reverend Felcher (Fletcher, whatever): Archie, the only thing you use a collection basket for is to make change.


49 posted on 07/15/2014 10:44:16 AM PDT by Fair Paul
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To: Sparklite

John Ritter’s character was a galloping heterosexual. He just agreed to not pursue his roommates.


50 posted on 07/15/2014 10:44:46 AM PDT by Borges
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