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"She Just Called You Honey": My Quandary at Waffle House
Academia.edu ^ | Brett Lunceford

Posted on 08/02/2014 7:14:02 AM PDT by SamAdams76

My wife and I arrived in Mobile four years ago. As we drove from Pennsylvania into the deep South, I began to notice the subtle changes that became increasingly less subtle...

(Excerpt) Read more at academia.edu ...


TOPICS: Miscellaneous
KEYWORDS: wafflehouse
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In which an over-educated nervous young man from the Left Coast overanalyzes and agonizes over the implications of a Waffle House waitress calling him "honey".

I wish I could post the whole 16-page "essay" here but don't want to get Free Republic in trouble with the snobby, elite academic crowd hosting the content at the link given below.

If you are in the mood for some comic relief, you can view the essay in PDF form here.

1 posted on 08/02/2014 7:14:02 AM PDT by SamAdams76
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To: SamAdams76

That’s hilarious...but sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.


2 posted on 08/02/2014 7:17:50 AM PDT by gorush (History repeats itself because human nature is static)
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To: SamAdams76
If you don't like it down here, leave.

Like Lewis Grizzard said, Delta is ready when you are.

3 posted on 08/02/2014 7:18:06 AM PDT by Gamecock (There is room for all of God's animals. Right next to the mashed potatoes and gravy.)
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To: SamAdams76
Damn fool never learned about politeness and manors before he arrived in the South. The Writer like Woody Allan need to get over himself.


4 posted on 08/02/2014 7:19:55 AM PDT by darkwing104 (Forgive but don't forget)
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To: SamAdams76

I lime being called “honey.” What’s wrong with people?


5 posted on 08/02/2014 7:20:35 AM PDT by St_Thomas_Aquinas ( Isaiah 22:22, Matthew 16:19, Revelation 3:7)
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To: SamAdams76

Why we should care nothing about what this guy thinks... About:I am trained as a rhetorician, but my CV will demonstrate that I have a variety of research interests. I am mainly interested in how we make sense of the world and construct identity and relationships rhetorically. My focus is split between media/technology studies and rhetorical constructions of the body. I am currently working on two book projects: one titled “Sex, Language, and Control” and the other “Desiring Bodies,” which extends the work of my first book, “Naked Politics.”


6 posted on 08/02/2014 7:22:38 AM PDT by Walkingfeather
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To: SamAdams76

Educated well beyond his level of intelligence. My first thought;

“Well, bless your heart.”


7 posted on 08/02/2014 7:23:23 AM PDT by maine yankee (I got my Governor at 'Marden's')
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To: SamAdams76

Immediately filed this in my give-a-f* folder.


8 posted on 08/02/2014 7:24:59 AM PDT by Lonesome in Massachussets (This is known as "bad luck". - Robert A. Heinlein)
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To: SamAdams76

Bless his little heart. He is not too smart about the southern way of life.


9 posted on 08/02/2014 7:25:01 AM PDT by MamaB
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To: SamAdams76
I wonder if he went to a Shoney's?

A person can get trampled to death there when they bring out a fresh pan of bacon for the buffet.

10 posted on 08/02/2014 7:27:02 AM PDT by Michael.SF. (It takes a gun to feed a village)
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To: SamAdams76

mucho text over-lap in the link.

I’m taking this one home to my wife to show her what I mean by “New England Elitist”

and simply why Mitt Romney should never again be considered for the presidency.


11 posted on 08/02/2014 7:27:47 AM PDT by Cletus.D.Yokel (Catastrophic Anthropogenic Climate Alteration: The acronym explains the science.)
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To: SamAdams76

He would prefer being screamed at by the Soup Nazi, I suppose? Maybe we southerners should call all Yankees A-holes, make’em feel more at home.


12 posted on 08/02/2014 7:28:06 AM PDT by ClearBlueSky (When anyone says its not about Islam...it's about Islam. That death cult must be eradicated.)
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To: SamAdams76

He’d better not go to Baltimore - his lil’ brain would explode. Everybody is “hon” and it don’t mean nothing.


13 posted on 08/02/2014 7:30:42 AM PDT by mrs. a (It's a short life but a merry one...)
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To: SamAdams76

Does this dude have too much time on his hands?

Is he over-analyzing how waitresses talk to customers?

Is he thinking these waitresses are trying to control him, control their customers, with how they talk to men???

I read through this, but seems to be a lot of mumbo-jumbo.

I would much rather deal with a waitress calling me some term of endearment, rather than some hired help at some places who snarl and grunt at you.


14 posted on 08/02/2014 7:31:29 AM PDT by Dilbert San Diego (s)
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To: SamAdams76

My next point would be...

16 pages about Waffle House? with FOOTNOTES?!?

I can see Mitt in his porch-rocker saying, “Oh! I can totally relate!”

Bwahahahahahah


15 posted on 08/02/2014 7:32:00 AM PDT by Cletus.D.Yokel (Catastrophic Anthropogenic Climate Alteration: The acronym explains the science.)
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To: SamAdams76

If it helps him understand, just substitute “dumb*ss” for “honey” and he’ll get to a level he can comprehend.


16 posted on 08/02/2014 7:32:50 AM PDT by RFEngineer
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To: SamAdams76

That was hilarious! Yankees and Left-coasters should stay out of the South. We’ve got some strange ways down here.


17 posted on 08/02/2014 7:34:52 AM PDT by Bryanw92 (Sic semper tyranni)
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To: Cletus.D.Yokel

Hey, don’t blame us Yankees for this guy, he’s from California...


18 posted on 08/02/2014 7:35:42 AM PDT by runfree
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To: Michael.SF.

>>A person can get trampled to death there when they bring out a fresh pan of bacon for the buffet.

Umm...yeah...sorry about that. You were in between me and some crispy, delicious BACON!


19 posted on 08/02/2014 7:36:27 AM PDT by Bryanw92 (Sic semper tyranni)
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To: St_Thomas_Aquinas

I lime being called “honey.” What’s wrong with people?


I like my lime with a Corona.


20 posted on 08/02/2014 7:36:32 AM PDT by Rides_A_Red_Horse (Why do you need a fire extinguisher when you can call the fire department?)
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To: SamAdams76

Cali urban trash.


21 posted on 08/02/2014 7:37:05 AM PDT by BigCinBigD (...Was that okay?)
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To: RFEngineer

>>If it helps him understand, just substitute “dumb*ss” for “honey” and he’ll get to a level he can comprehend.

He would understand that because his worldview is that “I am educated and special. You are lowborn. I expect you to hate me, serving girl.”


22 posted on 08/02/2014 7:39:33 AM PDT by Bryanw92 (Sic semper tyranni)
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To: Walkingfeather

Your work sounds way more interesting than reading 16 pages about this guy’s deep thoughts on the waitress at the Waffle House.


23 posted on 08/02/2014 7:40:28 AM PDT by Sioux-san
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To: SamAdams76

When I call the author a “dumbf**k” I am engaging in a rhetorical discourse that acts as interprellation in that I am establishing a role for both him and me in our exchange, I, as the one who recognizes a dumbf**k and he as the dumbf**k.


24 posted on 08/02/2014 7:40:46 AM PDT by Ouchthatonehurt ("When you're going through hell, keep going." - Sir Winston Churchill)
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To: SamAdams76

At first, I wondered if this was a joke. My husband insisted it was, but NO - I recognize some bits of the rhetoric from my English Lit classes. “Analyze, dissect, destroy’ — the poor academics, so lost in their big words, so clueless about Reality. Pathetic indeed.


25 posted on 08/02/2014 7:40:55 AM PDT by bboop (does not suffer fools gladly)
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To: St_Thomas_Aquinas

Ya, would he rather be ignored or not called anything?

I think it’s nice if a waitress calls a customer honey. I don’t see it as some sociological statement or customer/servant power issue. Nor would I think that such a waitress is anything but being friendly.

This dude is over analyzing the whole thing.


26 posted on 08/02/2014 7:41:07 AM PDT by Dilbert San Diego (s)
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To: runfree

Hey, don’t blame us Californians - we sent him East where he belonged. Maybe the South will do him some good, but it’ll take lots of time and much patience.


27 posted on 08/02/2014 7:42:48 AM PDT by bboop (does not suffer fools gladly)
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To: SamAdams76

It can be a little disconcerting. It was about 10 years ago in Tucson when the waitresses added “honey” and “sweetie” to their lexicon, I found it a bit odd at first. Not 16 pages worth of odd though. Maybe 4 sentences worth.


28 posted on 08/02/2014 7:42:50 AM PDT by discostu (Villains always blink their eyes.)
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To: SamAdams76

At first I thought that this was some kind of satire. Nobody but an educated fool could take being called honey this seriously.


29 posted on 08/02/2014 7:43:00 AM PDT by driftless2 (For long term happiness, learn how to play the accordion.)
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To: SamAdams76

At a Waffle House in Duluth, Georgia, I was addressed by my waitress as “baby doll” during my entire visit. I rather liked it, but it did occur to me that no other woman in my life had ever called me that!


30 posted on 08/02/2014 7:44:07 AM PDT by Southside_Chicago_Republican (If liberty means anything at all, it means the right to tell people what they do not want to hear.)
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To: runfree

That explains a lot.

In California it’s only the guys that call other guys honey.


31 posted on 08/02/2014 7:44:35 AM PDT by IMR 4350
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To: SamAdams76

The South has its own mannerisms and idioms.

Y’all, any carbonated drink, for example, is called Coke and Tea is iced and sweetened, unless otherwise requested.

“Honey” is better than ‘you snooty ferener from Yankee territory’.


32 posted on 08/02/2014 7:45:19 AM PDT by TomGuy
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To: Gamecock

Its just the way we are down here. Please don’t move here and eff it up worse than your fellow outsiders already have. :-)


33 posted on 08/02/2014 7:46:15 AM PDT by Georgia Girl 2 (The only purpose o f a pistol is to fight your way back to the rifle you should never have dropped.)
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To: Southside_Chicago_Republican

“At a Waffle House in Duluth, Georgia, I was addressed by my waitress as “baby doll” during my entire visit.”

A waitress at one of our local restaurants used to call me “Sweet Pea.” It made me smile, and she got big tips from me. Win-win.


34 posted on 08/02/2014 7:47:40 AM PDT by mrs. a (It's a short life but a merry one...)
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To: Gamecock
"If you don't like it down here, leave."

That's it in a nutshell.

35 posted on 08/02/2014 7:49:01 AM PDT by CatherineofAragon ((Support Christian white males---the architects of the jewel known as Western Civilization).)
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To: SamAdams76

He must be great fun at parties.

At my local 24 hour breakfast place, the waitresses call you “honey”, and I literally have given it a total of a half-second of thought in my entire time eating there. Waitresses calling you “honey” is simply part of the southern diner experience, same as grits and chicken fried steak.

When you go to Disneyworld and the giant Mickey Mouse mascot gives you a hug, he is not really that happy to see you. It’s the same thing.

To analyze it as the author does demonstrates a special level of cluelessness and oversensitivity. Of course, such politeness and familiarity also hearkens back to a more polite time in American history, and the academic left is hell-bent on destroying every last vestige of that.

Probably a beta-male.


36 posted on 08/02/2014 7:49:51 AM PDT by FLAMING DEATH (I'm not racist - I hate Biden too!)
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To: Dilbert San Diego

“Is he over-analyzing how waitresses talk to customers?”

He is being fearsomely intelligent, academe’s version of the sand-kicking jock. Reads like a lot of mental masturbation.


37 posted on 08/02/2014 7:49:53 AM PDT by TalBlack (Evil doesn't have a day job.)
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To: Cletus.D.Yokel

I wish I could get through one thread at this site that doesn’t make an anti-Romney remark.

Congratulations. Your candidate won. Romney didn’t. Aren’t you proud, honey?


38 posted on 08/02/2014 7:52:52 AM PDT by ladyjane
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To: mrs. a

Yes, I believe I left a hefty tip that night too.


39 posted on 08/02/2014 7:53:05 AM PDT by Southside_Chicago_Republican (If liberty means anything at all, it means the right to tell people what they do not want to hear.)
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To: SamAdams76

As a native Mobilian, I feel sorry for this guy. The subject is insane.

He imagines himself as some sort of well-traveled, modern day Herodotus. The waitresses may refer to him as “honey”, but the truckers in Waffle House likely want to kick his ass.


40 posted on 08/02/2014 7:54:16 AM PDT by Textide
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To: SamAdams76

How traumatic this must have been. I hope they didn’t put grits on his plate.

I go to the waffle house for two things: low prices and to hear the waitress standing 4 feet from the cook yell the order at him.

If you don’t understand waffle house, get on down the interstate.


41 posted on 08/02/2014 7:56:30 AM PDT by morphing libertarian
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To: Textide
He imagines himself as some sort of well-traveled, modern day Herodotus

Every New Yorker who ventures anywhere besides California imagines himself 'well-traveled'.

42 posted on 08/02/2014 7:57:25 AM PDT by jjotto ("Ya could look it up!")
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To: SamAdams76

I’ll be as politically correct as I can here. Anyone who objects to being called hon by a waitress is a RETARD or a stinking liberal looking for something to be offended by. But I repeat myself. Anyway, if you’re a liberal stay the hell out of Arizona. We don’t want you or your asinine imbecilic politics here


43 posted on 08/02/2014 8:02:19 AM PDT by clamper1797 (I'm a Tea Party Conservative ... in my opinion that makes me "Politically Correct")
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To: SamAdams76

He seems to have been offended that a mere peon would dare address him with a term of endearment rather than the more formal “Sir” befitting his elevated station in life. Unbunch your panties, you pompous ass, and chill.


44 posted on 08/02/2014 8:03:29 AM PDT by Bob
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To: SamAdams76
Wife and I stopped at an Arkansas Waffle House a while back. After taking our order, the waitress called out to the kitchen “Flip it, dip it, nip it and clip it.”

Must’ve been code...

45 posted on 08/02/2014 8:04:22 AM PDT by Eric in the Ozarks (Rip it out by the roots.)
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To: SamAdams76

All that thinking for two over easy, hash browns, grits and a gravy biscuit. What must his world be like?


46 posted on 08/02/2014 8:05:05 AM PDT by jstaff
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To: Bryanw92

Bingo!


47 posted on 08/02/2014 8:06:26 AM PDT by Kanzan
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To: SamAdams76

I don’t live in the south
east... Or south central or Texas... But I do feel mildly annoyed at being called “honey” by a waitress where I live. Makes me feel like I’m at a truck stop, for some reason. But, it is certainly not worth reacting to or being rude about; certainly no offense is intended or taken.


48 posted on 08/02/2014 8:07:27 AM PDT by JustTheTruth
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To: Slings and Arrows

Ping.


49 posted on 08/02/2014 8:07:47 AM PDT by TADSLOS (The Event Horizon has come and gone. Buckle up and hang on.)
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To: SamAdams76
It's not just the men. Waitresses at truck stops, fast food restaurants, etc. say "Honey" and "Sweety" to my wife too--"Sugar", "Hon", "Sweety Pie".

I have not encountered men saying such things. It would be considered inappropriate--although maybe if speaking to a child.

Actually, it's very nice and very endearing.

When my wife and I drove from California to the east coast, I stopped at a 7/11 in Oklahoma. The people were so friendly--it was like entering a wonderful world in which everyone was welcoming.

And this spirit is not superficial. I took a U-haul trailer into North Carolina and didn't know where to drop it off. I stopped in a small convenience store to ask directions. The woman behind the counter didn't know either, but she made 8 or 10 telephone calls in my behalf until she found out where to direct me.

50 posted on 08/02/2014 8:08:01 AM PDT by Savage Beast (Hubris and denial overwhelm Western Civilization. Nemesis and tragedy always follow.)
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