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Hungry Howie’s CEO reveals company’s mascot is transgender (satire)
Spring Hill Courier (FL) ^ | SANDY YOLKER

Posted on 11/02/2014 8:09:29 PM PST by Impala64ssa

SPRING HILL, Florida — In a startling announcement, the CEO of Hungry Howies Pizza announced that “Howie,” the official cartoon character mascot of the Detroit-based chain, has come out as transgender.

“We all know and love Howie, all seen his goofy face for years, but hidden behind that hungry simpleton’s face was a lost soul going through a gender crisis,” CEO Burle Gander said. “Heather, as she would like to be called now, just wants to go on providing delicious pizza with fresh ingredients, without any discrimination.”

Allegations from the LGBTQ community that the company is just revamping its image in an attempt to pander to the new generation of pizza lovers have exploded from the internet. Gander vehemently denied the claims.

“Heather, just like any other iconic corporate character is simply co-evolving with the rest of the world,” Gander said.

Some Hernando County residents said they are outraged at the sudden drastic change in what they have relied upon as a traditional Spring Hill staple.

“I won’t take my family here for the buffet anymore,” said Pern Gelding, one of several residents of the nearby Cobblestone Historical District who protested at the restaurant at Spring Hill Drive and Kass Circle. “I can deal with the cockroaches and employees’ face tattoos, but this is ridiculous.”


TOPICS: Humor; Society
KEYWORDS: satire; transgenderism

1 posted on 11/02/2014 8:09:29 PM PST by Impala64ssa
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To: Impala64ssa

never heard it


2 posted on 11/02/2014 8:11:05 PM PST by GeronL (Vote for Conservatives not for Republicans)
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To: GeronL

of it


3 posted on 11/02/2014 8:11:27 PM PST by GeronL (Vote for Conservatives not for Republicans)
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To: GeronL

They’re around the Tampa Bay area. It’s not NY pizza but they’re good.


4 posted on 11/02/2014 8:15:01 PM PST by Impala64ssa (You call me an islamophobe like it's a bad thing.)
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To: Impala64ssa

My daughter will buy no other brand of pizza; they have a takeout-delivery location about a mile from our home, have had it there for at least 20 years.


5 posted on 11/02/2014 8:16:23 PM PST by chajin ("There is no other name under heaven given among people by which we must be saved." Acts 4:12)
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To: Impala64ssa
It’s not NY pizza

More importantly, it's not Philly pizza, but I bet you can't get real Philly pizza in Philly anymore.

6 posted on 11/02/2014 8:17:53 PM PST by chajin ("There is no other name under heaven given among people by which we must be saved." Acts 4:12)
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To: chajin

Yeah, and it’s hard to find a real authentic old-school Jewish style bagel up there either.


7 posted on 11/02/2014 8:20:41 PM PST by Impala64ssa (You call me an islamophobe like it's a bad thing.)
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To: Impala64ssa

As long as they keep the square deepdish, I don’t care.


8 posted on 11/02/2014 8:30:23 PM PST by Springman (Rest In Peace YaYa123, Bahbah, and Just Lori.)
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To: Impala64ssa
Yeah, and it’s hard to find a real authentic old-school Jewish style bagel up there either.

In Delco you used to be able to get one at the deli in Lawrence Park (Broomall), but that was 35 years ago, back when LP had Shop-Rite, W.T. Grant, and Lit Brothers.

9 posted on 11/02/2014 8:31:51 PM PST by chajin ("There is no other name under heaven given among people by which we must be saved." Acts 4:12)
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To: chajin

I’ve never been a big pizza guy — I just googled now and was amazed at the number of regional pizza variations.


10 posted on 11/02/2014 8:34:43 PM PST by Wyrd bið ful aræd (Asperges me, Domine, hyssopo et mundabor, Lavabis me, et super nivem dealbabor.)
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To: Impala64ssa

The best Pizza in my town.

I drive out of my way to get it when I can.

My sister used to live in Phoenix and now she lives in a place where there is no HH and she is so jealous.

Awesome pizza. Puts the other big chains to shame.


11 posted on 11/02/2014 9:15:21 PM PST by Only1choice____Freedom (As long as America's tolerence of failure is not overwhelmed by a desire to succeed, we will fail.)
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To: GeronL

Hungry Howies is good pizza... but not as good as New Haven Pizza...


12 posted on 11/03/2014 3:08:57 PM PST by ExCTCitizen (I'm ExCTCitizen and I approve this reply. If it does offend Libs, I'm NOT sorry...)
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To: chajin

The only store chain still in business is ShopRite...I miss them...


13 posted on 11/03/2014 3:10:46 PM PST by ExCTCitizen (I'm ExCTCitizen and I approve this reply. If it does offend Libs, I'm NOT sorry...)
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