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Coping With The Death of A Dog
Kccolleg Blog ^ | 2016 | Taryn Blyth

Posted on 06/03/2018 11:56:34 AM PDT by Norski

Link Only.

(Excerpt) Read more at tarynblyth.co.za ...


TOPICS: Pets/Animals
KEYWORDS: death; dog; grief
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I do not know if this author allows excerpting, and do not wish to inadvertently offend. Taryn Blyth is an animal behaviourist in South Africa, and this is a very well written article IMO for those dealing with the loss of a pet. I wish I had been able to read something like this at various times in my life, so I am posting it for those who may need it right now. Please note: I will be unable to reply to posts for a day or so. Thank you, Norski
1 posted on 06/03/2018 11:56:34 AM PDT by Norski
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To: Norski

I lost a dog that I’d had since I was a kid. It was 18 years old, and I can’t believe my boss gave me 2 days off because of it. Sure I was a bit upset, but it was only a dog.


2 posted on 06/03/2018 12:01:02 PM PDT by Telepathic Intruder
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To: Norski

I disagree with her on one point. When my dog, Tippy, died, I was stunned. I could not talk about it then and even now, about 15 years later, I really can’t talk about it. Sometimes, accepting sympathy is not helpful.


3 posted on 06/03/2018 12:01:51 PM PDT by Jemian (Americans are dreamers, too.)
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To: Norski

There is sorrow enough in the natural way 
From men and women to fill our day; 
And when we are certain of sorrow in store, 
Why do we always arrange for more? 
Brothers and sisters, I bid you beware 
Of giving your heart to a dog to tear.

Buy a pup and your money will buy 
Love unflinching that cannot lie— 
Perfect passsion and worship fed 
By a kick in the ribs or a pat on the head. 
Nevertheless it is hardly fair 
To risk your heart to a dog to tear.

When the fourteen years which Nature permits 
Are closing in asthma, or tumour, or fits, 
And the vet’s unspoken prescription runs 
To lethal chambers or loaded guns, 
Then you will find—it’s your own affair— 
But ... you’ve given your heart to a dog to tear. 

When the body that lived at your single will, 
With its whimper of welcome, is stilled (how still!) 
When the spirit that answered your every mood 
Is gone—wherever it goes—for good, 
You will discover how much you care, 
And will give your heart to a dog to tear. 

We’ve sorrow enough in the natural way, 
When it comes to burying Christian clay. 
Our loves are not given, but only lent, 
At compound interest of cent per cent. 
Though it is not always the case, I believe, 
That the longer we’ve kept ‘em, the more do we grieve: 
For, when debts are payable, right or wrong, 
A short-term loan is as bad as a long— 
So why in—Heaven (before we are there) 
Should we give our hearts to a dog to tear? 

The Power of the Dog
by 
Rudyard Kipling


4 posted on 06/03/2018 12:08:33 PM PDT by glasseye ("24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not." ~ H. L. Mencken)
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To: Norski

There is sorrow enough in the natural way 
From men and women to fill our day; 
And when we are certain of sorrow in store, 
Why do we always arrange for more? 
Brothers and sisters, I bid you beware 
Of giving your heart to a dog to tear.

Buy a pup and your money will buy 
Love unflinching that cannot lie— 
Perfect passsion and worship fed 
By a kick in the ribs or a pat on the head. 
Nevertheless it is hardly fair 
To risk your heart to a dog to tear.

When the fourteen years which Nature permits 
Are closing in asthma, or tumour, or fits, 
And the vet’s unspoken prescription runs 
To lethal chambers or loaded guns, 
Then you will find—it’s your own affair— 
But ... you’ve given your heart to a dog to tear. 

When the body that lived at your single will, 
With its whimper of welcome, is stilled (how still!) 
When the spirit that answered your every mood 
Is gone—wherever it goes—for good, 
You will discover how much you care, 
And will give your heart to a dog to tear. 

We’ve sorrow enough in the natural way, 
When it comes to burying Christian clay. 
Our loves are not given, but only lent, 
At compound interest of cent per cent. 
Though it is not always the case, I believe, 
That the longer we’ve kept ‘em, the more do we grieve: 
For, when debts are payable, right or wrong, 
A short-term loan is as bad as a long— 
So why in—Heaven (before we are there) 
Should we give our hearts to a dog to tear? 

The Power of the Dog
by 
Rudyard Kipling


5 posted on 06/03/2018 12:08:33 PM PDT by glasseye ("24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not." ~ H. L. Mencken)
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To: Norski

Where the red fern grows is the perfect story about a boy and his dog and I cry each time I read it but in the end it was a dog not a person. These people that think we’re heartless for saying what is obvious makes me wonder if they’re really stable mentally. I loved my dog and cried when
he died BUT HE WAS A DOG- nothing like my 6 children!


6 posted on 06/03/2018 12:25:43 PM PDT by panzerkamphwageneinz
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To: Norski

I think perhaps the greatest virtue among men is that of mercy. As a young man I was relaxing on a warm spring day in 1976 or so, our family Shepherd, Brutus, was sleeping on the warm grass next to me on a blanket. When I awoke, I go tup and went inside, Brutus lay asleep quietly. A while later, I went back outside. Brutus hadn’t moved. I called to him, and he opened i his eyes and rolled htem towards me. He did not move anything else. By this time, he was proably 15 or 16, a year or so younfer than I. He was a constant companion for all of us over the years. I big playful stupid dog. he’d go missing ofr days when the bitches over the mountain near our central NY farm went into heat. Coming home sheepishly like a teenager out too late.

Anyway, Brutus could not move, he was paralyzed and rigid like rigor mortis. Breathing fine, eyes opened and alert, bt not a oint or limb could move.

I got my dad. I was the only child home at the time, so it was Dad and I and Brutus. My dad examined him, and assessed himas fully paralyzed and he would know, he farmed for decades and knew animals. He told me to stay with him and he went inside, returning with is 22 pistol. He told me that Brutus was dying and we had a choice. Either let him lay there and slowly die or end it for him as best we could. He offered me the pistol. I took it and stroked Brutus muzzle and forehead, knowing exactly where I would put a slug, as a farm boy we all had participated in the execution of many hogs and few cows as well as lots of deer and other game.

My dad put his hand on my shoulder and said “Brutus is a good dog, so let’s be good to him”.

While my father’s hand covered my own,I cocked the revolver and got an angle so that the bullet would pass from forehead to base of his skull and the gun fired itself it seemed. Both he ad I had tears on our cheeks as the shot echoed across the valley and up up the hills.

We buried Brutus with the other family pets in the cool woods behind the house. Large rock is covering the grave so no critters would dig.

I learned that mercy is necessary for healing. As Soldier, I learned that over and over on the battlefield as well as in the cemetery.

Well, now well into my 50s, I can say I have no pets. No need. I have my wife, children and grand children and they have pets and I stand ready to assist them in showing mercy, offering them the lessons of faith, family and fearlessness they’ll need for every day.

I miss my Dad and Grandfathers so much more than Brutus. but the dog has a special place in the woods behind our family farm in upstate NY.

Healing requires positive action in spite of loss. Ask Jesus.


7 posted on 06/03/2018 12:30:50 PM PDT by Manly Warrior (US ARMY (Ret), "No Free Lunches for the Dogs of War")
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To: Jemian

I, too, miss my Little White Dog Chaos acutely yet and she has been dead since 2013. I still tear up and have no expectation of another little white dog. I have no regrets except I should have appreciated her even more than I did. Sighs.


8 posted on 06/03/2018 12:31:06 PM PDT by Bodega (we are developing less and less common sense...world wide)
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To: panzerkamphwageneinz

When I saw that movie, I cried and cried and cried.


9 posted on 06/03/2018 12:38:21 PM PDT by murron
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To: Norski

For young children?

Get a new dog.


10 posted on 06/03/2018 12:39:25 PM PDT by Zeneta
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To: Norski

I called up a customer/friend on Friday. This guy is a retired Marine and about a tough as you can get.

He was almost crying on the phone and told me he just put down his dog.

I told him that I’m not a pet guy but understand how you can get attached to one.


11 posted on 06/03/2018 12:40:28 PM PDT by cyclotic ( We’re the first ones taxed, the last ones considered and the first ones punished)
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To: Norski

Even sympathy of your dead pup can go much deeper than a human loss. The human might have offended you, hurt you, did acts against you but your pup... Thousands of years of fellowship and work with man has made this creature special. And darn if there’s not a degree of self-consciousness there.


12 posted on 06/03/2018 12:41:38 PM PDT by Lent
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To: Jemian

I lost my cat five months ago. When someone, even an animal, is a bright part of your daily life for nearly two decades and then is gone...yes, stunned is an apt description.

I can’t talk about it either, so I agree with you there too. Sometimes sympathy, however well-intentioned, is salt in the wound.


13 posted on 06/03/2018 12:43:30 PM PDT by LostInBayport (When there are more people riding in the cart than there are pulling it, the cart stops moving...)
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To: Norski

We have lost several dogs - it is never easy. You remember each one them and their personalities. They are part of your family. And we would keep going out and getting another dog.


14 posted on 06/03/2018 12:57:05 PM PDT by EC Washington
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To: Norski

I’d say this is a good blueprint for dealing with the loss of any animal one is close with; some more than others maybe.

People all handle grief differently and to different degrees. Some may accept it and move on quickly and others may not even feel like it’s real for some time. Time is the key though.

I think it’s a good idea to wait at least a couple of months before getting another dog though. Allow yourself to grieve and be sad for a while. Your loss and respect for the lost is worth that I think.

I always think of the Rainbow Bridge at those times. I hope I see my friend later just like my human friends and family. I like to believe I will.


15 posted on 06/03/2018 12:57:07 PM PDT by Boomer (Leftism is the Moral Equivalent of the Plague)
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To: Norski; All
My wife and I are currently grieving our cat who passed away on Friday morning. There are obviously differences between the relationship between a dog and a cat but the passing is passing.

Molly was 16 years old when she passed away. She was diagnosed with kidney failure 2 years ago. We were fortunate on 2 fronts. The first, the urine loses it's pungency. The second, was her ability to get to the litter box most of the time until the very end. Of course she couldn't tell us whether or not if she were in pain or suffering but she seemed to be getting along fine.

In a way, I was her champion based upon my own personal experience from several years ago. I had a stroke and I was in a coma for about 9 days. During that time, I wasn't able to take care of my self. She was obviously in better condition than me, so what the hay.

That modicum of compassion gave us 2 more years with her. In my eyes, the ease of abortion might be traced to the ease with which people euthanize pets. If it's going to disrupt your life, why not just get of it.

That obviously doesn't apply to an animal that has been severely injured, in pain or very ill beyond medical help. So many of today's relationships are based upon convenience.

16 posted on 06/03/2018 1:02:38 PM PDT by j.argese (/s tags: If you have a mind unnecessary. If you're a cretin it really doesn't matter, does it?)
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To: j.argese

The choice for me came down to my children’s needs vs my pet in 2010. My dog came down suddenly ill with something spinal which was paralyzing her hind quarters(she was 5) and it was 2 am in the morning. They might try steroids and in the morning they would ct or mri her(time is tissue remember). The vet estimated 5 to 7 thousand dollars with no guarantee of a cure but they had a finance plan GE capital(now synergy bank) that they could get me signed up right away that very night! My kids were all in various stages of braces and various medical needs so I had to sadly put the dog down. Choice of dog or human needs... I chose human needs.

You go down a slippery path when you insinuate that a Family’s choices as to how they deal with their pets vs a family’s human needs is a predictor of the parents’ true moral or spiritual state. We did not abort our first born when relatives and friends thought we should due to the inconvenience and timing or her conception. We hate abortion!


17 posted on 06/03/2018 1:19:04 PM PDT by mdmathis6 (Men and Devils can't out-"alinsksy" God! He knows where "all the bodies are buried!")
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To: Norski

I have had to put down a couple of dogs in my life. It broke my heart every time. Dogs are an amazing animal. They have so become a part of human evolution that because of the keen senses of hearing, smell, loyalty, aggressiveness and devotion to those who accept them into a family our evolution and survival as a species on this planet for have been very difficult if not impossible. Our continued survival depends on them in so many ways. Dogs are an incredibly mood affective animal. When we’re happy, they’re happy, when we’re sad so are they. Science has recently learned that dogs use the same area of the brain humans do to understand speech. They do know what we’re saying to them. Treated with even a modicum of kindness and care dogs will be devoted companions. I’d love to adopt another one but my wife and I are getting up in years and honestly I don’t have the heart to again someday have to take another ‘’man’s best friend’’ to be put down.


18 posted on 06/03/2018 1:23:17 PM PDT by jmacusa ("Made it Ma, top of the world!'')
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One of creation’s cruel insults is that the lifespan of a dog is but a fraction of a human’s.

I’ll freely admit to crying like a baby when our Lab passed away several years ago. Our current dog, a 4 year old female lab, will no doubt elicit the same response when she crosses the rainbow bridge.

I’m glad that someone posted Rudyard Kipling’s poem. It makes me question why we love an animal that can only survive for a season of our lives. However, when I get home from work and witness how excited and overjoyed my dog is to see me, I understand why we open our hearts to a dog.


19 posted on 06/03/2018 1:46:18 PM PDT by BluegrassCardinal
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To: Manly Warrior

Thank you for your story.


20 posted on 06/03/2018 2:03:28 PM PDT by Chickensoup (Leftists today are speaking as if they plan to commence to commit genocide against conservatives.)
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