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Why Did You Bring Him Home?

A guy brings his best golf buddy home, unannounced, for dinner at 6:30 PM after enjoying a day of golf.

His wife screams her head off while his friend sits at the kitchen table, open mouthed, listening to the tirade.

“My hair and makeup are not done, the house is a mess and the dishes are still in the sink. I’m completely exhausted! I didn’t get enough sleep last night. Can’t you see I’m still in my pajamas? I can’t be bothered with cooking tonight! Why did you bring him home without letting me know ahead of time, you stupid jerk???”

“Because ... he’s thinking about getting married...”


2 posted on 11/27/2018 5:53:41 AM PST by sodpoodle (Life is prickly - carry tweezers)
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SENIOR WEDDING

Two very active seniors (Jacob, age 92, and Marian, age 89), living in The Villages in Florida, are all excited about their decision to get married.

They go for a stroll to discuss the wedding, and on the way they pass a drugstore and they decide go in.

Jacob addresses the man behind the counter: “Are you the owner?”

The pharmacist answers, “Yes.”

Jacob: “We’re about to get married. Do you sell heart medication?”

Pharmacist: “Of course we do.”

Jacob: “How about medicine for circulation?”

Pharmacist: “All kinds.”

Jacob: “Medicine for rheumatism?”

Pharmacist: “Definitely.”

Jacob: “How about suppositories and medicine for impotence?”

Pharmacist: “You bet!”

Jacob: “Medicine for memory problems, arthritis and Alzheimers?”

Pharmacist: “Yes, a large variety. The works.”

Jacob: “What about vitamins, sleeping pills, Geritol, antidotes for Parkinson’s disease?”

Pharmacist: “Absolutely.”

Jacob: “Everything for heartburn and indigestion?”

Pharmacist: “Absolutely.”

Jacob: “You sell wheelchairs and walkers and canes?”

Pharmacist: “All speeds and sizes.”

Jacob: “Adult diapers?”

Pharmacist: “Sure, how can I help you?

Jacob: “We’d like to use your store for our Bridal Registry.”


3 posted on 11/27/2018 5:55:42 AM PST by sodpoodle (Life is prickly - carry tweezers)
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