The Top Six Lies Told In Relationships

Relationships mag ^ | September 15, 2022

[central_va]

15. Why no, I’m not married.

[ScottinVA]

In muslim relationships:

1. I won’t flog you more than once a day.

2. The goat is only for milk.

3. Is that a bomb under there or are you just glad to see me?

[Fish Speaker]

“It’s not you, dear. It’s me.”

[usconservative]

“Fantasize all you want but they are not here to arrest you.” That’s why I love my wife.

You got a good one.

[central_va]

Asia: “Hey Joe, love you long time.”

[rfreedom4u]

“But will you love me, tomorrow?”

Meatloaf took that a step further with Paradise by the Dashboard Lights!

[rfreedom4u]

My brain to mouth filter had a hole in it. A neighbor woman (no way a lady) walked by in a tight t-shirt with no bra and quite “blessed by nature. After she passed I said, “Damn!”
My wife glared at me so I said, “Did you see the way she was dressed?”
To which she replied, “You sure as hell did!”

[Mark17]

Yep, that too.

[catnipman]

“15. This is six inches...”

which explains why women have such trouble with estimating measurements ...

[dfwgator]

[CodeJockey]

Classic

[wgmalabama]

I was thinking the same thing.

[Bob434]

Lol

[Bloody Sam Roberts]

15. This is six inches...

And it's ancillary lie;

" I promise. I won't put it in all the way.'

[Rurudyne]

A woman was looking in the mirror and said to her husband: “I’m old, my looks are gone, my hair stringy, and I need to loose weight.... Please say something positive to me....”

Without looking up from his paper he said: “You have perfect vision.”

[BrandtMichaels]

You mean a rubber, right?

[BrandtMichaels]

Those are Rel 2.0 (married) questions.

[BrandtMichaels]

Change last line to:

“One or both is lying.”

[Rurudyne]

Phone.

I value not being reachable.

[BrandtMichaels]

Ha! I thought you meant carrying concealed.