Posted on 01/14/2024 11:18:42 AM PST by dayglored
Many years ago when my band played in the local country bar, I noted that the men's room had a single stall, and a long slanted stainless steel trough that stretched a good 10 feet down the center of the room. Those who only had to pee used the trough; using the stall to pee was unmanly.
Of course, a similar "don't stand right next to another guy" rule was in force, except when the entire trough was occupied.
And staring across the trough at another man's junk was not just bad form, but could get you knocked out.
You gotta kill the time. The first thing you do is you inscribe your initials on the urinal. Then they run a little bit, then you wet down the entire urinal. “Wet down! Wet down! Wet down entire urinal! Cover all of the dry spots! Gotta get ‘em all! Every one! Gotta look, see if the light is shining.”
Then..Then and only then are you allowed to go after the cigarettes at the bottom of the urinal! Targets of opportunity! Yeah. You had to break up them cigarettes. Field strip ‘em, my friend. Camels and Luckys were easy...but a Kent with a micronite filter. Takes three guys and a keg of beer. “C’mon guys! Hey...c’mon. Let’s go, man”
-George Carlin
Unless of course one is opting for a quickie, in which case using the handicapped stall affords more elbow(?) room.
Thanks for that, I needed a belly laugh. :-)
Some men's rooms even paste an adhesive sticker with a picture of a fly, in the urinal slightly off-center. It is absolutely impossible for any man to ignore it and not try to hit it.
You know that's true, too.
“It’s the Bee !!”
Finally! Way too often it’s real news.
I always think of that scene in ALONG CAME POLLY where Alec Baldwin invades Ben Stiller’s space at the urinals.
Eww
My husband is a pilot with over 30k flight hours spanning an almost 50 year career that includes not only flying commercial and private but being a flight instructor.
He told me that when they had awards or any kind of ceremony, the women would insist on nameplates that said CAPTAIN so and so and addressed as CAPTAIN so and so while the male pilots just went and had beers and were on a first name basis.
Over a 28 year career as a flight attendant, there were only 4 or 5 female pilots I felt were in the cockpit based on ability. There were some I would refuse to fly with and would bid around them.
This is not as good as it sounds. On a flight on Philippine airlines, I got sick from food poisoning and passed out inside the lavatory. Thankfully the place was so small, I did not fall hard and hit my head on anything hard. When I came to, I was sitting on the floor.
Yes I remember, I had the lasagna.
I don’t know any man I’d want to go to the bathroom with. Men don’t smell good and a bathroom only makes this worse.
It has been 40 years ago since I’ve been to a blow out concert. I don’t know how it works these days. Letting women into men’s bathrooms wasn’t an issue back then.
Also this 
It's a rare men's restroom that smells neutral; none smell "good". Most are pretty nasty, but tolerable if you have to pee.
But the ones in bars tend to smell like a big-city underground subway station. Drunks who can't aim are a nuisance and a half.
A lady says to her friend:
“You know what, Helen, I’ve always wanted to pee off this bridge just like men do”
Her friend says “Yeah, go ahead there’s no one around, so..”
The lady goes over to the railing, drops her shorts, sticks her ass over the rail and says, “Come here, I’m going to pee right down there in that canoe.”
Her friend says, “That’s not a canoe, it’s your reflection.”
-Super Dave Osborne
You are very close.
Thank you! :-)
At most big shows the line for the women's room stretches for miles, while the men's room line is either short or nonexistent.
So some brave women do join the men's room line (or just walk in). I've never seen anyone get in trouble for that, the guys show respect and let her have her choice of stall or urinal.
You haven't "seen it all" until you've seen a pretty woman back up to a urinal, drop her panties, lift her skirt to her waist, lean forward, and pee into the urinal without spilling a drop. It's the stuff of legends.
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