Zap Those Buttock Burps Away

Reuters via wirednews ^ | 3-27-2002

[Cagey]

LONDON -- Indian scientists have come up with a cure for flatulence, by blasting guilty foodstuffs such as beans with gamma rays to knock out the offending chemicals that cause the problem, New Scientist magazine said on Wednesday.

Bacteria in the large intestine are responsible for the gases that cause flatulence, and when these bugs eat certain types of carbohydrate called oligosaccharides they produce a mixture of methane and smelly sulfurous gases, which cause the social embarrassment.

[Cagey]

If the title sounded a little more "Scientific" I would have posted this article in the sophisticated forum.

[Cagey]

Good news Texasgirl, you can now send Rush and I some of that Texas chili and we'll be as quiet as church mice.

[camle]

kinda take half the fun outta beans and stuff, don't it?

[TADSLOS]

"How 'bout some more beans Mr. Taggart?"

BRRAAAP!

"Whewee! I'd say you boys have had enough!"

[TADSLOS]

"How 'bout some more beans Mr. Taggart?"

BRRAAAP!

"Whewee! I'd say you boys have had enough!"

[WhyisaTexasgirlinPA]

Ok, so we're talking about a 35% reduction in flatulence over the non-irradiated beans.......sorry boys, no chili until it reaches at least the 80-90% range......

[Texaggie79]

Buttock Burp bump

[Maceman]

Isn't it easier just to use a little Beano?

[Texaggie79]

You mean there are people that actually eat chili for the taste of it? I always just saw it as a recreational food.

From what you said a while back, it seems that your own son even sees it that way too.

[Tennessee_Bob]

Beans? In chili? That's not chili, it's stew!!!!!!

Sacrilege...and you call yourself a Texan.

[Khepera]

I prefer the stuff that makes it smell like roses. It makes my wife feel loved to smell roses.

[WhyisaTexasgirlinPA]

Hey now, the Yankee mentioned beans - not me.......! But you are right, I should have told him beans don't belong in chili......

And Aggie - you are right - my son can make ANY food into a recreational food.....sans beans........

[Texaggie79]

Personally, as fun as beans can be, the only type I will eat is green beans. All else are forbidden by me. So Chili MUST be without beans if I am going to consume it.

[WhyisaTexasgirlinPA]

Really? No beans? Not even refried with Tex-Mex food? Good Lord, what is wrong with you? lol

[Texaggie79]

Can't stand beans. ESPECIALLY refried. They taste exactly like what I would imagine dog poo would taste like.

[WhyisaTexasgirlinPA]

Having not tasted dog poo, I will have to rely on your judgement.......

[Tennessee_Bob]

But you are right, I should have told him beans don't belong in chili......

Ok, consider yourself forgiven. And count your blessings that I hadn't already sent in my report to the Texas Citizenship League.

heh heh heh heh

[Xenalyte]

Buttock Burp would be a GREAT name for a band!

[BibChr]

1. Will it work on garlic?

2. What — they don't have Beano in India?

Dan

[Neets]

What are you boys gassing about now????