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Minority Report
Self via Psychic Energy | July 9, 2002 | PJ-Comix

Posted on 07/09/2002 3:59:51 PM PDT by PJ-Comix

Hi everybody! I just thought I would let you know that I am now a Pre-Cog, spending all my time just floating around here in the Pre-Cog Tank. I can't really say it is a barrel of laughs being stuck in the Pre-Cog tank. What I wouldn't do for a just a brewski and a turkey sandwich. Unfortunately that is a no-no. I just gotta float around here 24/7 transmitting future murders. There are two other Pre-Cogs here in the Pre-Cog tank. A male and female Pre-Cog. The female is no fun. Not only does she have a shaved head and a weird look in her eyes on the few occasions that she opens them, but her conversation consists only of screaming out a few things she Pre-Cogs from future crime scenes. As for the male Pre-Cog, he also has no personality. Worst of all he is constantly peeing in the Pre-Cog Tank.

This brings me to the reason why I am using my psychic energy to make this post. I have a Pre-Cog vision of a murder. The victim is that pissant Pre-Cog in the tank and the murderer is me. I forsee that I will soon be strangling and drowning him for fouling up the Pre-Cog Tank. So please ignore the no-entry rules for the Pre-Cog tank and come on in and arrest me for a future murder.


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: minorityreport
And don't forget to bring a brewski and a turkey sandwich for me when I am arrested. Thank you.
1 posted on 07/09/2002 3:59:51 PM PDT by PJ-Comix
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To: dennisw; summer
Please make sure the Pre-Cog tank stays at a constant 72 degrees. The other Pre-Cog that I predict I will soon be murdering is raising the temperature an extra couple of degrees with his foul habits.
2 posted on 07/09/2002 4:16:26 PM PDT by PJ-Comix
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To: Registered
Could someone out there please dump a few Koi fish into this Pre-Cog tank? Watching Koi swim around all the time isn't exactly a barrel of fun but it sure beats just staring at the ceiling between my Pre-Cog murder sessions.
3 posted on 07/09/2002 4:28:47 PM PDT by PJ-Comix
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To: PJ-Comix
PJ, I blame all your current problems on your childhood education in Cleveland. :)
4 posted on 07/09/2002 4:33:10 PM PDT by summer
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To: PJ-Comix
Jack Daniels?
5 posted on 07/09/2002 4:34:12 PM PDT by Texaggie79
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To: summer
The Cuyahoga River---It was my FIRST Pre-Cog Tank (before it caught fire).
6 posted on 07/09/2002 4:35:01 PM PDT by PJ-Comix
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To: PJ-Comix
LOL....
7 posted on 07/09/2002 4:36:42 PM PDT by summer
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To: Texaggie79
Well, if you're bringing hard liquor down here, make it Captain Morgan's spicy rum plus Pina Colada mix. Hell, just pour it all into the Pre-Cog tank so all I have to do is turn over and inhale to get a nice buzz.
8 posted on 07/09/2002 4:37:00 PM PDT by PJ-Comix
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To: PJ-Comix
Is this a movie review? Did you just see it?
9 posted on 07/09/2002 4:39:04 PM PDT by dennisw
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To: summer
WAIT! WAIT! I'm having a Pre-Cog moment! I see a Demmycrat Presidential Primary Debate in 2004. Algore is sweating profusely. Lieberman has an Elmer Fudd stare. Edwards looks like he would want to be anywhere but there. And John Kerry's wig is sliding off. I now see Al Sharpton talking and he is saying....BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

I am laughing so....hard that....CAN'T BREATH! Please arrest Al Sharpton for the future murder of me! I am laughing so hard it is KILLING ME! HELP!

10 posted on 07/09/2002 4:41:45 PM PDT by PJ-Comix
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To: dennisw
Is this a movie review? Did you just see it?

Not only did I see it, I joined the Pre-Cog Workers Union (Local 407) when I left the theater. This explains why I am now stuck in the Pre-Cog tank earning minimum wage and working 24/7 with no vacations. I knew I should have checked the fine print on the job contract!

11 posted on 07/09/2002 4:44:02 PM PDT by PJ-Comix
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To: PJ-Comix
I see I'm too late...
12 posted on 07/09/2002 4:52:25 PM PDT by summer
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To: summer
I'm sort of new to this Pre-Cog racket so I'm not as quick as the other two Pre-Cogs....

WAIT! WAIT! I see a Cockatoo...an Italian Restaurant....a woman sitting in a car in the restaurant's parking lot...I see a man walking up to the car...I hear "If you can't do the time, don't do the crime."....I see a gun pulled out and a shot. WARNING! I see a murder about to take place!!!

13 posted on 07/09/2002 5:09:42 PM PDT by PJ-Comix
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To: dennisw
I am predicting a terrible itch. On me. I don't have it yet but please send Petra Verkaik down to the Pre-Cog tank to find that itch and scratch it. I predict I will have a terrible itch when she enters the Pre-Cog tank. Tell her to just keeps scratching until she finds that itch. And don't worry, she'll know exactly where I'll be itching when she finds it.
14 posted on 07/09/2002 5:24:35 PM PDT by PJ-Comix
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To: PJ-Comix
If one crosses one's eyes during the eye scan, will the pre-cog see just your past events?
15 posted on 07/09/2002 5:29:50 PM PDT by Charles_Bingley
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To: PJ-Comix
Do you see any upset husband or boyfriend taking off after Boy Clinton for messing with wife/girlfriend?
16 posted on 07/09/2002 5:31:17 PM PDT by Charles_Bingley
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To: Charles_Bingley
If one crosses one's eyes during the eye scan, will the pre-cog see just your past events?

No, but he will be able to look into his own soul.

17 posted on 07/09/2002 5:34:56 PM PDT by PJ-Comix
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To: PJ-Comix
Is Peeps a pre-cog? Peeps the waitress from Missouri.
18 posted on 07/09/2002 5:36:06 PM PDT by dennisw
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To: Charles_Bingley
Do you see any upset husband or boyfriend taking off after Boy Clinton for messing with wife/girlfriend?

WAIT! I see Billy entering a bedroom....a raised golf club....a golf club crashing down on Billy's upper leg...and I see no more golfing with Greg Norman.

19 posted on 07/09/2002 5:36:56 PM PDT by PJ-Comix
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To: dennisw
Is Peeps a pre-cog? Peeps the waitress from Missouri.

Peeps is one of a kind. She is a Post-Cog. She can see events AFTER they happen. However, she relays them in a very UNIQUE way.

20 posted on 07/09/2002 5:38:31 PM PDT by PJ-Comix
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To: dennisw
BTW, Pre-Cogs shouldn't be confused with Pre-Clogs. Pre-Clogs are a very specialized form of Pre-Cogs. A Pre-Clog can predict who in the future will become constipated.
21 posted on 07/09/2002 5:43:27 PM PDT by PJ-Comix
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To: PJ-Comix
Are you still drinking all those coconuts?
22 posted on 07/09/2002 6:32:36 PM PDT by Sungirl
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To: Sungirl
Are you still drinking all those coconuts?

Yes, but that is more Un-Clogging than Pre-Cogging. If you read my previous comments about the effects of consuming coconuts, you would know what I mean. (More of an Ex-Lax moment than a Maalox moment.)

23 posted on 07/09/2002 6:49:30 PM PDT by PJ-Comix
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To: PJ-Comix
Hahah...you are something else.....I think you really could be a pre-cog (I saw the movie too).
24 posted on 07/09/2002 6:51:37 PM PDT by Sungirl
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To: Sungirl
I specialize in Celeb Pre-Cogging. And here comes the victim's Red Ball with his initials---BBT.

Now Pre-Cogging the murderer. She is very Jolly. Or is it Jolie? Anyway I see lots and lots of blood. No, it's not the murder scene. It is just fun and games time for those two. And the blood is collected in vials that they wear.

But don't worry. I am Pre-Cogging that a murder will definitely happen. Just as soon as Jolly or Jolie finds out that BBT is cheating on her.

25 posted on 07/09/2002 6:59:08 PM PDT by PJ-Comix
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