50 Reasons Lord of the Rings Sucks

Pointless Waste of Time ^

[Jael]

Hey! Bad form! I wasn't hanging out with them at all!!! I posted on a religion forum that they invaded!!!!

I don't post there any longer, it's just way to wicked. Not only are they witches and such like, they are WAY liberal.

You know I never said anything positive about witchcraft, in fact, the opposite.

[Jael]

Actually, Scripture of the New Covenant does not teach executing witches. It teaches that they should be born again, just like everyone, and repent. If they don't, just like everyone else who doesn't, God will be forced to send them to Hell, because that is his promise, and He can not lie.

That having been said, as a Christian, I know that God tells me to have no fellowship with any works of darkness. So I will not.

Ephesians 5:11  And have no fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness, but rather reprove them.

He says to reprove them.

I certainly would not look for entertainment in anything that glorifies witchcraft.

God also tells us that when witches were converted, and other workers of darkness, they burned the items of the occult.

Acts 19:17  And this was known to all the Jews and Greeks also dwelling at Ephesus; and fear fell on them all, and the name of the Lord Jesus was magnified.

18  And many that believed came, and confessed, and shewed their deeds.

19  Many of them also which used curious arts brought their books together, and burned them before all men: and they counted the price of them, and found it fifty thousand pieces of silver.

20  So mightily grew the word of God and prevailed.

[motzman]

On Elrond's side, he decides to marry this elf called, well I don't remember


Celebrian.

[HairOfTheDog]

You may not have said anything positive, but you have studied them, and they certainly hold your fascination more than they fascinate me. And I have read Lord of the Rings... So much for your window to the occult.

I think our ability to imagine things wonderful and beautiful is one of God's greatest gifts.

If you would let your imagination develop above a child's level, you would see that for all the fantasy outer shell in Lord of the Rings, the story is, at its heart, about very human nature, human struggles, and human bravery, even when there is little hope of success.

You have not read Lord of the Rings, so don't condemn it as occult. It is silly to throw around accusations like that in the company of people who know better, and harmful to do it around those who don't.

Was Peter Pan, at its heart, about magic? - Or was it a human story about motherless little boys, and their desire to be loved?

[Jael]

You are wrong. I have never been fascinated with anything wicked like witchcraft. Whether they were on a forum I was already posting on when they showed up, or in a LOTR books. Neither holds any fascination for me.

The Bible is my standard.

Ephesians 5:11  And have no fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness, but rather reprove them.

I reproved them. They hated me for it. But that is ok. God said they would.

Matthew 5:11  Blessed are ye, when men shall revile you, and persecute you, and shall say all manner of evil against you falsely, for my sake.

About Peter Pan. It's a book written by a pedophile. Of course when I was 5 and my mother read it out loud to me at night, one chapter at a time, I liked the story, although parts of it were disconcerting.

But I don't like it now. I know what kind of evil mind thought that up, a boy that never grows up. And I know why Barrie thought that up. It is disgusting to me now. Same with ALice in Wonderland, although I was never allowed to read that and never wanted to.

Say, I don't have an argument with you personally. But please do not slander me on this board and imply that I have something to do with witches. That makes me want to vomit.

[HairOfTheDog]

Again, you must find something ugly in everything, and I am sorry about that. I am off the hook where LoTR is concerned. it is not a "work of darkness" but a work of great hope. You will never know, perhaps, and that is a shame for you.

Good Day Jael.

[Jael]

I do find pedophiles to be very ugly. I find the fact that the star of the Lord of the Rings tears out pages in a Bible (that address his sodomy) to be very ugly.

Sin is a very ugly thing.

James 1:15  Then when lust hath conceived, it bringeth forth sin: and sin, when it is finished, bringeth forth death.

16  Do not err, my beloved brethren.

17  Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and cometh down from the Father of lights, with whom is no variableness, neither shadow of turning.

18  Of his own will begat he us with the word of truth, that we should be a kind of firstfruits of his creatures.

[HairOfTheDog]

Of course pedophiles are ugly. But I have never heard that accusation about the author before, and I would rather not hear it again.

The one actor you speak of was but one of thousands who made this film, and he didn't write the story. Nor did he write the film. He acted.

Your message is not one of the Joy and Glory of God, but rather of a rather weak and suspicious heart. I am sorry. I don't share that with you. I see glory everywhere where you see only demons.

Good day. I need a shower.

[HairOfTheDog]

I just want to be clear for all concerned... Jael has made an allegation that the author of Peter Pan was a pedophile, not Tolkien, or anyone related to Lord of the Rings. Ick. Enough of this thread.

[Jael]

You don't have to be negative. You don't have to slam people personally because they disagree with YOUR opinion. You don't have to lie about them like you did me. If that is the kind of person that LOTR produces, praise God I never involved myself in it.



The word of God is my final authority. I make no apologies for that. :-)

[Jael]

I assumed you knew that. Tsk.

[HairOfTheDog]

I'm negative? - au contaire! - I am the most optimistic person I know!

ask anybody.

[Dinsdale]

Refering to the geekilary.

Harvard Lampoons Bored of the Rings.

The Boogie national anthem.

We Boogies are a hairy folk
Who like to eat untill we choke
Loving all like friend and brother
We hardly ever eat each other.

Ever Hungry, ever thirsting
Never stop till belly's bursting (grammer error in orig.)
Chewing chop and pork and muttons
A merry race of boring gluttons

(sing) Gobble Gobble Gobble Gobble
Gobble Gobble Gobble Gobble

Boogies gather round the table,
Eat as much as you are able.
Gorge yourself from moon till noon
(Don't forget your plate and spoon).

Anything edible we've got dibs on,
And hope we all die with our bibs on.
Ever gay we never grow up
Come! And sing and play and throw-up!

(sing) Gobble Gobble Gobble Gobble
Gobble Gobble Gobble Gobble

[Bloody Sam Roberts]

The Orcs were obviously stolen from PC game maker Blizzard and its Warcraft series. Too bad Blizzard is apparently too scared to sue New Line over it.

What!? Has this numbnuts actually cracked the book and looked at the original copyright date?

What a weenie.

[Bloody Sam Roberts]

I just stopped reading at #13. What a tool.

[2nd Amendment]

I respect your consistancy. "Guard your hearts and minds inChrist Jesus" I have some home school friends that present the same viewpoint. I will agree to ponder and pray on these points. I do believe God's power and revelation is way beyond the realm of man to understand. The soaring imaginations of Lewis and Tolkien have always prompted me to attempt to fathom the majesty and omnipotence of God. I am very aware of the dangers of the occult (ala with of endor) I,ve read seduction of Christianity and realize that we are in an epic stuggle of good and evil where only God can give us the wisdom or strength to contest "the wiles of the evil one" I've always like LOR because good triumps ultimately over evil. C.S. Lewis and Tolkien were scholars of mysthology in a time when europe was turning postchristian. They were holding out the last bastion of orthodoxy in a contintent that would turn away from God. It is true they were not orthodox in every respect, Incidentally Chuck Coolsen cites Lewis' Screwtape Letters as instrumental in his coming to faith. Audios, Keep up the stuggle. I will ponder your thoughts regarding mythology.

[kaylar]

This ring and no other was made by the elves,
Who'd pawn their own mothers to grab it themselves...

[valkyrieanne]

Hi, DemMom:

Fortunately Bored of the Rings is still in print. No doubt they rushed it back in when the first Jackson movie came out. Who could forget immortal lines like:

We boggies are a hairy folk
Who like to eat until we choke...

Or,

An elven lass there was of old,
A stenographer by day...

[valkyrieanne]

That should be "exDemMom." No offense taken, I hope.

[valkyrieanne]

As far as racism is concerned. Ha ha ha ha ha. Since the orcs are not human their darkness has nothing to do with race.

Actually, the Orcs were produced (not by yanking them out full-grown wrapped in goo from the ground, as in the movie) by the evil Valar Melkor (Sauron's Boss) in the time after the creation of the Elves in Middle-Earth, but before Men were created.

Sauron captured Elves and experimented on them, torturing and deforming them until they produced the Orc "race." Orcs mate and produce little Orcs in the (presumably normal, for them) way. If they are black, it's because they were made that way by Melkor.

They apparently like to go on abducting sprees, capturing Elf women, and at least one Human character in the book (Bill Ferny in the town of Bree) is said to look as if he might have some Orc in his ancestry.

I find this very curious because Tolkien was apparently almost entirely ignorant of the current science of the day (1930s or so) and yet was able to work into his story a point that even most science fiction of the day didn't even approach, with perhaps the exception of HG Well's Island of Doctor Moreau. Of course in today's atmosphere, with scientists creating human/pig and human/mouse hybrids, it's even creepier.