Free Republic
Browse · Search
General/Chat
Topics · Post Article

Skip to comments.

Who?s listening to this All-American jerk?

Posted on 06/19/2003 6:40:52 AM PDT by left field

I was flipping around the radio dial one afternoon when I heard a familiar voice. The last time I heard that voice was to the accompaniment of a leering grin and towels snapping in a locker room.

"Gotcha!" the voice had been saying. Snap! "Gotcha good, didn't I, queer?" Snap! "That'll teach you to mess with Mike."

Mike was the terror of my high school locker room. Snapping towels at young boys' private parts. Getting freshmen in a headlock and rubbing their faces in his armpits. Calling all the boys "queers!" and "wimps!" He was a class act then. Now he's the voice of America.

". . . another thing these limousine liberals who are perverting America want you to believe," he was telling his talk radio audience.

I remember Mike. I remember the time he dropped trou at the senior prom. I remember when he told the principal he was a "*#(@#)$ queer." I remember teachers shaking their heads and wondering what would become of him.

". . . the only thing that'll save this country is to take all the liberal perverts and drop trou right in their faces. That'll teach 'em to mess with ol' Mike."

Mike was an ugly guy. Weird hair that seemed to grow on all visible parts of his body. Acne to make you cringe. We always wondered if that mossy growth on his teeth made him so angry. Or was it his Dad? We only saw the old man once at a football game. He kept standing and screaming at the ref while his son looked embarrassed. Someone behind me actually said, "Poor Mike," and the rest of us laughed. But we wondered what would become of this simmering pot of testosterone with bad teeth.

We couldn't imagine that anyone outside of Mike's small circle of fellow losers would listen to him. His friends were guys in tight jeans and white T-shirts, guys who stood on street corners flipping the bird at passing cars and laughing hysterically. They all thought Mike was "The Dude." Everyone else thought he was a) psycho; b) creepy; c) pathetic, or d) all of the above.

There was Mike again, giving a wedgie to another hapless freshman. There he was sneaking out of the girl's bathroom with a grin on his ravaged face. There he was revving his Camaro and screeching past some VW, shouting "queer!" When would he grow up? Thank God we'd never have to see him again after high school.

Now Mike has millions of listeners nationwide. People tune in to hear him rant about liberals and "wimps" and immigrants and "other scum that are dragging this great nation down." Patriotism works in strange ways.

"... listen to me, America. I'm right and you know it. We gotta get all the @#*$&$ "

Listening to Mike, it all came back. The infantile comments. The snapping towels. The rage in its purest form. Why would anyone pay attention to him? I wondered. If my high school knew he was an All-American jerk, couldn't everyone else tell? Or has America become a giant high school, a cauldron of angst and anger, interested only in clothes, music, this week's big game, and who's sleeping with whom. "Attention students! The Army recruiter will be in the cafeteria at 3 p.m."

Maybe we were wrong about Mike. Or maybe we were wrong in choosing to grow up. Mike's success - his book is a best seller! - suggests that the future belongs to the perpetual adolescent, the one who can still muster that locker-room rage and that simple, soothing worldview in which everyone is either for or against you, all wimps and queers and liberals except on Mike's street corner.

Now I no longer wonder what became of Mike. I wonder what will become of American High. Snap!


TOPICS:
KEYWORDS: afoolandhiskeyboard; ancientpetuniafish; anticonservative; canadianfleacircus; deadnewbieposting; dirtyunderwear; dusrupter; gettajob; hammerofthemods; heidisalami; herecomedazot; herekittykitty; hughjanus; iwaspublikskooled; kittenchow; leftisttwit; liberalyutz; looser; nothiscrapagain; offhismeds; patmygroine; raspberrysurprise; shoveoff; strikeupthebanned; thisaccountisbanned; thisisseries; troll; umoron; vikingkitties; waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa; weareyouroverlords; whirledpeas; youagain; zot; zzzzzzz
Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first previous 1-2021-4041-6061-80 ... 101 next last
To: left field
After reading your post I can understand why some species of animals eat their young.
41 posted on 06/19/2003 6:56:35 AM PDT by PA Engineer
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Admin Moderator
Please leave this one up, it's just so bad and so whiney, yet so funny all at once.
42 posted on 06/19/2003 6:56:39 AM PDT by rattrap (I'm sorry Mr. Liberal, I couldn't quite make that out through all the sobbing.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 39 | View Replies]

To: dighton

43 posted on 06/19/2003 6:56:47 AM PDT by Constitution Day (Have *you* taunted a liberal today?)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 2 | View Replies]

To: left field
psstttt...

Click the picture

44 posted on 06/19/2003 6:56:55 AM PDT by Admin Moderator
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: PA Engineer
lol
45 posted on 06/19/2003 6:57:04 AM PDT by AxelPaulsenJr (Shriner's Childrens Hospitals Provide Free Medical Care to Those In Need.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 41 | View Replies]

To: Admin Moderator
Yes!

*bowing to the Mod*

Please don't pull this thread... let us Kitties have our fun for once!
46 posted on 06/19/2003 6:58:44 AM PDT by MWS (Errare humanum est, in errore perservare stultum.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 44 | View Replies]

To: Zavien Doombringer
Hmm... looks like it's still standing!
47 posted on 06/19/2003 7:02:10 AM PDT by MWS (Errare humanum est, in errore perservare stultum.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 40 | View Replies]

To: Admin Moderator; Constitution Day; Poohbah; BlueLancer; jriemer; Zavien Doombringer; L,TOWM; ...

"It's not over until the fat kitty sings."

48 posted on 06/19/2003 7:04:29 AM PDT by dighton (NLC)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 44 | View Replies]

To: MWS
That's good, I haven't gotten full yet!
49 posted on 06/19/2003 7:08:35 AM PDT by Zavien Doombringer (Viking Kitten Sniper patrol)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 47 | View Replies]

To: dighton
The mods leave one standing for a change and Viking Kitties aren't crawling all over it?

I'm very disappointed!
50 posted on 06/19/2003 7:08:40 AM PDT by MWS (Errare humanum est, in errore perservare stultum.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 48 | View Replies]

To: MWS
Well it was fun for a while. But now it's time for this piece of sh*t to go.
51 posted on 06/19/2003 7:10:40 AM PDT by AxelPaulsenJr (Shriner's Childrens Hospitals Provide Free Medical Care to Those In Need.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 50 | View Replies]

To: left field

Who disturbs my slumber?!!!

52 posted on 06/19/2003 7:10:59 AM PDT by Zavien Doombringer (Viking Kitten Sniper patrol)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Zavien Doombringer
LOL! *snort!* Just swallowed my coffee in time!
53 posted on 06/19/2003 7:11:56 AM PDT by Snowy (My golden retriever can lick your honor student)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 52 | View Replies]

To: Zavien Doombringer
When I read this whining BS posted by the aids infected DUers home from college and using their Mommy's computer, it is obvious we have won.

They are in a complete state of shock and awe at what conservatives and GW have done to them since January 2001.

They are nothing but a pathetic pack of slithering diseased losers in life. If it wasn't for their parents's billfolds, they would be just memories for those few who care.
54 posted on 06/19/2003 7:12:45 AM PDT by Grampa Dave (Evil Old White Devil Californian Grampa for big Al Sharpton and Nader in primaries!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 23 | View Replies]

To: Snowy
Nothing like a latte nasal enema in the morning, is there :)
55 posted on 06/19/2003 7:13:58 AM PDT by Zavien Doombringer (Viking Kitten Sniper patrol)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 53 | View Replies]

To: Grampa Dave
Right on the money, oh great one.
56 posted on 06/19/2003 7:14:22 AM PDT by AxelPaulsenJr (Shriner's Childrens Hospitals Provide Free Medical Care to Those In Need.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 54 | View Replies]

To: AxelPaulsenJr
When your read the whining of the left wingers from the DNC to their senators/congressits/governors down to this inane post, there can be only one conclusion.

They are in total shock and awe! They know that they have lost it big time, and more big losses will happen in 2004.
57 posted on 06/19/2003 7:17:37 AM PDT by Grampa Dave (Evil Old White Devil Californian Grampa for big Al Sharpton and Nader in primaries!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 56 | View Replies]

To: left field

"Left Field's account has been banned."

58 posted on 06/19/2003 7:17:55 AM PDT by Jonah Hex
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Grampa Dave
All I got out of this posting was pure blather, just taking up bandwidth. Michael Savage, who I think this guy is referring to, may be crass in a lot of his tactics, but He is telling the truth.

This person is writing as if he had first hand knowledge of Mike, that may well be, I really didn't care, I wasn't on the recieving end of the "towel snap", I was too goos at toewl fights to get any "wounds". The High School hazing still exists today as yesterday. That's life... Thanks Grandpa, you are, as always correct! (bows humbly in respect for the Elder Kitty)

59 posted on 06/19/2003 7:19:39 AM PDT by Zavien Doombringer (Viking Kitten Sniper patrol)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 54 | View Replies]

To: AxelPaulsenJr
Well, he can go, of course, but we should certainly stay to dance on his grave a little, if you know what I mean...

That's the Viking Kitty way!
60 posted on 06/19/2003 7:19:45 AM PDT by MWS (Errare humanum est, in errore perservare stultum.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 51 | View Replies]


Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first previous 1-2021-4041-6061-80 ... 101 next last

Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.

Free Republic
Browse · Search
General/Chat
Topics · Post Article

FreeRepublic, LLC, PO BOX 9771, FRESNO, CA 93794
FreeRepublic.com is powered by software copyright 2000-2008 John Robinson