Leaked Democrat Memo: NO MORE MEMOS!

Free Republic ^ | 11/19/2003 | Chad Fairbanks

[Chad Fairbanks]

Memo

To: All democrat public officials
From: Damage Control Division
CC: Major Mainstream Media; Activist Groups
Date: November 19, 2003
Re: Moratorium on use of memos

Moratorium on use of memos

Effective immediately, the DNC is issuing a moratorium on the use of memos. Though we have managed, thus far, to keep most details out of the mainstream media (Thanks, everyone!), we have faced the following incidents, all of which could be prevented. Until proper document control procedures can be put in place, the use of memos for all purposes is forbidden.

Judicial Committee Memos

Ok, someone leaked these memos, and its making us look pretty bad. We’ve been lucky, thus far, in keeping this story out of the media (thanks, everyone!). These memos documented the campaigns by various mainstream moderate groups, such as National Abortion Rights Action League, Alliance for Justice, Leadership Conference on Civil Rights, People for the American Way, Association of University Women, National Women's Law Center, and National Partnership, to dictate which nominees we should block, which we should allow votes on, and which ones should be delayed until pending cases are heard.

A perfect example was our win with the recent Michigan Race-Preferences rulings – if one of Bush’s nominees had been confirmed in time, we could have lost that case.

Oh, and that Senator Durbin memo? The one where he said “most of Bush’s nominees are Nazis”? Not good public relations, true or not.

However, documenting this was probably not the best idea we could have had. Memos like this one make my job harder, and are an unnecessary expenditure of time and energy. I’d appreciate it if there were no more memos like these passed around, ok? Thanks.

Select Intelligence Committee Memo

We are at war people. No, I’m not talking about our culture war against the intolerant, bigoted hatemongers on the Right. I’m talking about the President’s “War on Terror”. We may not like it, but it is a fact. So, passing around memos on the Select Intelligence Committee about digging through classified information, looking for dirt to use on the president during the 2004 campaign was NOT, I repeat NOT, acceptable. I know Senator Rockefeller was trying to help, but come on people - putting it in writing? Stupid move, that.

All we have accomplished with that is we have not only cut off our access to that potentially useful information, but we have also mobilized the Right. They even have a site up about it, called intelmemo.com. While we have been successful in keeping this potentially treasonous memo out of the mainstream media, we may not be able to get them to ignore it for much longer.

Once again, I must let you know that this is making my job a lot harder, when there are so many other things that I must concentrate on. If I have to keep paying more people to help with damage control, it begins to eat into our campaign budget.

Summation

Until we can find a way to keep those dishonest republicans from stealing our damaging memos...

One last reminder: NO MORE MEMOS!!!!

[Chad Fairbanks]

Of course it's authentic. Do you doubt me? ;0)

[Chad Fairbanks]

Yes. Maybe we could launch a massive "Send Paper Shredders To The DNC" campaign? ;0)

[OXENinFLA]

FUNNY........................

[Scenic Sounds]

Of course it's authentic. Do you doubt me? ;0)

Well, you've got the postmark - only a complete fool could doubt it now. ;-)

[Chad Fairbanks]

heh heh heh

[Chad Fairbanks]

Thanks :0)

[Darlin']

FOFLOL. You're so Neanderthalish.... I like that.

[Chad Fairbanks]

LOL... Boy, that Kennedy - thinking he's insulting everyone LOL

[diotima]

Very funny! (Thanks Everyone!)

[Chad Fairbanks]

Thanks :0)

[Ernest_at_the_Beach]

ROFL!!

Way to Go!

[StriperSniper]

LOL!

[Libertina]

LOL This actually happended. When Gray-out Davis ost to Arnold it was reported in the media that all shredders were sold out in the area.

[Mo1]

ROFL!!

[talleyman]

Hey, "Neander-con" - it could catch on!
(Could give us a break from that whole Paleo/Neo thing.)
"What kind of conservative are you?"
"Neander-con!"
Sign me up!

[browardchad]

But Chad, without advice from special interest groups, the Dems won't know how to vote about anything -- except maybe pay raises for themselves. They need the memos to read from during the debate; otherwise they'd have nothing to say except "Duh?" -- and they'd lose all that special interest money. Maybe they can use super-secret decoder rings instead (e-mail won't work; most of them don't know how to turn on a computer).

[Embedded Freeper]

Vetty funny bit, Mr. Fairbanks.

Thank you.

[Chad Fairbanks]

Thanks... glad you liked it :0)

[Chad Fairbanks]

I think it would be a pretty funny campaign, actually... How could the press ignore THAT? LOL

[LurkerNoMore!]

Very clever, Mr. Fairbanks.