Skip to comments.The Nine Dwarves and Religion - my Translation of Their (contorted) Positions;
Posted on 12/01/2003 11:47:25 PM PST by Al Simmons
OK Gang. I saw these quotes on religion from the Nine Dwarves, and could not resist the urge to translate what they REALLY meant. Here we go:
"..former Vermont Gov. Howard Dean, said recently that he prayed privately but quit being an Episcopalian in a dispute with his parish over a bike path."
Translation: "I am an atheist and a frivolous unstable MORON".
"..Donna Brazile, who managed Gore's 2000 campaign, recalled recently that she felt uncomfortable even mentioning her religion while working in the 1988 presidential campaign of Michael Dukakis. "I couldn't talk about my faith," she said, adding that she thought the party got better under Clinton and Gore."
Translation: "Dukaka was too pure and paid the price. When I started worshipping satan with Bill & Al, I got crafty. But I'm still an atheist."
"...Dick Harpootlian, a Democratic strategist and former state party chairman in South Carolina..said Democrats should be more comfortable talking about religion, particularly as it relates to principles such as tolerance and helping the poor and weak.."'Democrats have a much more Christian, religiously friendly message,'"
Translation: "I know my Bible; Jesus said: 'Steal from thy neighbor for thyself.' Right? Oh $%@*!! OK, we're all atheists."
"...Dean isn't a regular churchgoer. Baptized Catholic, he later became an Episcopalian. He quit that denomination because he had what he called "a big fight" with a Vermont Episcopal church over plans for a bike path on church-controlled property. He became a Congregationalist, but said recently that he didn't attend church very often."
Translation: "I'm still a frivolous atheist who doesn't like to Congregate much."
"Sen. John Kerry of Massachusetts occasionally attends Catholic Mass, but is "very private about his religion," said aide David Wade. "If he's in someplace like Davenport or Dubuque, with a big Catholic community, he'll go to church."
Translation: "If there's votes there, I'll go to church - I'm a good Catholic (except when the time comes to suck out the brains of partially born babies); the rest of the time I am an atheist."
"Rep. Dick Gephardt ... doesn't mention God or religion beyond that. "He is a religious person," said aide Erik Smith. "He does not regularly go to church."
Translation: " I am an atheist. And my aide is a !%@$#&*!! MORON!!"
"Smith conceded the political challenge. "Republican candidates," he said, "have been talking to those who worship regularly in a language they can relate to. Too often, Democrats speak a more secular language that they're unable to relate to."
Translation: "Those &$*# Evangelicals have us figured out!!!"
Retired Gen. Wesley Clark's father was Jewish, but Clark was raised first as a Methodist, then as a Baptist, converted to Catholicism as a young adult and now attends the Presbyterian Church. "I'm spiritual. I'm religious. I'm a strong Christian and I'm a Catholic, but I go to Presbyterian Church,"
Translation: " I don't know WTF I am, but I am (probably) (maybe) an atheist (at least my Klintonian handlers tell me so)."
Lieberman: "I didn't become religious because of a focus group," he said. "I have a sense of mission. Republicans act as if they have a monopoly on values or faith-based values. They don't."
Translation: "I'll make a big deal of my faith, but Teddy Kennedy has my vote. Hey, 1 breaks a monopoly, right Hadassah? Hon? No, I was just kidding about that religious conservatism stuff, REALLY! Well, can't you take some Tylenol?"
That's like saying Americans have a history of shooting children in public schools. There's a little truth there but so little that it's a false representation.
Christians also have a history of promoting democracy and freedoms - including religious freedom and peace.
Churchhill said something to the effect of "Democracy is the worse form of government except for all the other forms".
I propose that Christians are similar, "Christians are the worst sort of people except for all the other sorts". They are far from perfect, but I choose Christians over atheists, or other religions.
I see, I missed that post. But I agree with you, if you are saying we shouldn't judge all atheists by the acts of a few.
But on the otherhand I agree with Al, that I personally don't want athiests in public office. I don't know that they would be any worse that people who profess to be Christians but who don't live by Christian values. But if given a choice, I would always choose a person who appears to truly try to live by Christian values.
And I think that's part of the point Al was making, is that a lot of these Democrat contenders seem to want to put some religion on their resume. But not too much, just barely enough to avoid being called irreligious. And they aren't even sure what religion to put on their resume so they hum and haw about it. We don't need people like that in office. Their religion is politics and power, no matter what affiliation they may or may not have.
I agree, I pick politicians on individual character not religious affiliation. Religious affiliation is a single factor, a consideration in my judging their character. But only a factor. It's much more important to see if and how they implement it in their lives. If they have a solid value foundation or if they are like some who claim religion but have no values and are open to anything.