One In Six Still Feels A Woman's Place Is At Home

The Telegraph (UK) ^ | 12-9-2003 | Sarah Womack

[blam]

One in six still feels a woman's place is at home

By Sarah Womack, Social Affairs Correspondent
(Filed: 09/12/2003)

One in six people still believes a woman's place is in the home, according to an authoritative survey of social attitudes funded by the Government.

The figure represents a dramatic fall since 1983, when 25 per cent thought women should be full-time mothers, but it represents a "sizeable minority", says the National Centre for Social Research.

Most of those who held traditional views were grandparents struggling to look after grandchildren while their daughters went out to work.

The survey's findings come hot on the heels of books such as The Surrendered Wife by Laura Doyle, and The Smart Woman's Guide to Staying at Home by Melissa Hill, which challenge the wisdom that it is disastrous to a woman's psychological health to stay at home.

The British Social Attitudes Survey, based on 2,000 in-depth interviews and conducted by the National Centre for Social Research, looks at how attitudes have changed towards a range of issues from the welfare state to transport.

It found that while attitudes towards working mothers had become "more positive", there was still a sizeable minority of people who perceived a woman's role as raising children at home.

Broken down by gender, the survey found that a fifth of men thought women should be at home compared to one in seven women. The older the person polled, the more likely they were to see a woman's role as the traditional home-based one.

Katarina Thomson, a co-director of the BSA, said many of those who felt women should be at home were over the age of 55 and probably grandparents.

She added: "Previous research shows that looking after grandchildren tends to be particularly stressful for younger grandparents."

"Their own parents may still be alive and sometimes these grandparents even have a job of their own."

The number of people who disapprove of working mothers increases considerably when the working mother in question has children under the age of five.

More than half the men polled said women should stay at home in these circumstances. Almost half of women (46 per cent) said the same.

Reality tells a different story, however. Six in 10 women with children under the age of five go out to work, encouraged by various Government initiatives.

[yooper]

Let's not forget that a man's place is in the home also; just different hours. Be father's to your kids, y'all.

[Diva Betsy Ross]

There are some women here in the US who work because they want to , not because they have to.

I know many women who could afford to stay home. That is if they put their children's needs before their own wants.

[glock rocks]

We've personally got out of all debt and plan on staying out of debt at all cost.

I really wonder if my kids can survive if I don't set them up with a house, etc.

time was when a college savings account might be what you saved for beyond the mortagage.

even if I'm fortunate enough to provide this for my kids... what the hey are the children
of those who can't afford that kind of look-ahead for them gonna do to survive?

that's what scares me.

[snopercod]

Thanks to our redistributionist government, both husband and wife must work these days to have a minimum lifestyle. One to buy the food and housing, and the other to pay the taxes.

I am just thankful that I was able to hold out as the sole breadwinner until 1985, while my wife raised the children.

But now, thanks again to the policies of our federal government, I have been unemployed for over a year, while my wife supports us.

The only good thing is that we're so poor due to overtaxation that we don't have to pay much in the way of taxes.

There must be some karma in that.

[HeSetUsFree]

Your Tag line -- funny... I'd rather have LIVE rats in my walls than Hillary for President!

[Evil Inc]

You can bet they didnt ask the kids. That would be nearer to 90 per cent that would want ma home. All those precious jobs are heading overseas anyway, where workers dont need free day care and time off for sick kids.

[HeSetUsFree]

Beautifully Said!

[Lizavetta]

If they would have polled the children sitting in day-cares the number would have been six in six.

[lizma]

LOVE staying home with my children.

Me too! I'm a late bloomer when it comes to kids and am in my 40's. And for some reason only my eyebrows have gone grey.

Contrary to the feminist, a women's biggest pleasure is not making money and having a major career, it's raising kidlets. They're a hoot. A blessing that your job can never take the place of.

[Down South P.E.]

My wife, who is a stay at home mom, used to tell me she felt guilty spending money "that I made". I told her she was crazy and that my conclusion was she earned more of my paycheck than I did. She stays at home with our 3 and 1 on the way. We will start homeschooling next year.

It only took one short Saturday afternoon with just me watching the kids by myself to come to that conclusion. Lord how I love them ... but man what a job!

[Lizavetta]

Most moms and dads have to work just to pay for everything

Depends on what falls under the category of "everything". I agree wholeheartedly that taxes and mortgages are high, but when "everything" includes cable or dish tv, cell phones, newer model cars, brand new clothing, expensive food choices, eating out, vacations, etc. I lose a lot of sympathy.

I'm watching my brother and his wife daycare their infant cause they had to have two new cars and a $200,000 mortgage. She couldn't stand apartment living anymore, y'see. They go out, spend on clothes, etc.... They consider themselves without luxuries. It's a tragedy for that little boy who has hired help instead of a mom.

Nobody deserves their 'stuff' more than a child deserves a mother.

[tinacart]

Well? Isn't it? Wish I'd known better and stayed at home! For that reason, I make sure I'm here for my grandkids as much as possible. Bet the numbers are truly much higher. Hi Blam, haven't seen you around in quite some time - of course - I haven't been online much...

[tinacart]

"...said many of those who felt women should be at home were over the age of 55 and probably grandparents."

Sorry you priggish brit, I'm not even 50 - nananananah! (OK, I am a grandma, the greatest job God ever gave me!)

[Lady Eileen]

It's a tragedy for that little boy who has hired help instead of a mom.

I also think it is very sad.

[Joe Hadenuf]

It's really tough nowadays for a lot of middle and lower middle class folks. I would bet the rent, that the only hope for a lot of kids in the future to ever own a home, will be to inherit one from their folks.... Many younger adults can't even afford rent for an apartment.

Bottom line, is it's just harder to get by nowadays, and that's with everyone working.

[blam]

"Hi Blam, haven't seen you around in quite some time - of course - I haven't been online much..."

Howdy, I've been here, where have you been?

[WackyKat]

My wife, who is a stay at home mom, used to tell me she felt guilty spending money "that I made"

Your wife is an incredibly rare woman.

Most women don't have the slightest scruple about spending their husband's or boyfriend's money; in fact, they believe that is their birthright.

[giznort]

I believe the woman belongs in the home. That being said, I think she should have the ability to stay home whether or not she has children. The husband should make enough money to keep her in the style to which she has become accustomed.

[cubreporter]

What you said is so true and so beautiful yet sad. I cannot imagine for the life of me putting an infant in anyone else's care but my own.

If you absolutely must work to put food on the table and clothing on the backs then that person deserves all the help they can get and rightly so.

However, I find it hard to understand how someone "has" to work when we pass them on the highways in the early mornings in the cold winter driving BMW's and the like. We had one car and it was a chevy and when I needed it my husband drove to work with someone else and left me the car for the day.

We didn't even have a color TV until 12 years AFTER we were married. I didn't have a microwave either ... I had a stove and oven. No self defrost refrig either. I also washed, hung on the line and folded baby diapers. Waxed floors and had a cardboard box with a nice towel in it for our dog. No fancy dog bed. Just a cardboard box. He loved it by the way and slept soundly in it every night until we decided it was Ok for him to sleep with the kids and the kids loved him as we all did.

We saved $60 cash for our daughter's youth bed and made a big deal out of it so that she wouldn't feel left out when she left her crib so her new baby brother could use it. We also brought her a doll home from the hospital so she could have her own new baby as well.

All the while my husband was working a part time job in addition to his military job. He later decided to attend night school and over 16 years of Monday, Wednesday or Tuesday, Thursday and more for his Master's finally completed his degrees. It was tough. It was hard but we did what we had to do to try and secure our future.

He was/still is a good dad. Worked his military job during the day, went to school at night, got up in the wee hours of the morning to study and was a father to our children and a good, loving husband to me.

We had what we had and that was it. But...we had the money for our kids, our dog and for Christmas and birthdays and for other holidays like Valentine's Day...we made paper hearts and put red dye in the milk and things like that. I'll never forget the sight of our daughter at the dinner table in her bathrobe because she had been sick with a bad cold and on her head was a plastic wig she had gotten for a birthday present.

Or the sight of our son with his GI Joes and Major Matt Mason action figures. He grew up to be a kind, good, loving man and his sister grew up to be a kind, good, loving woman. As for our dog...we lost him after almost 16 years. We never replaced him but we did have 4 dogs after him and our current one we rescued from the humane society.

So, while we did not take vacations every spring break (and now fall break) we did pile in the car with the kids and the dog and drive non-stop to visit our parents on the opposite side of the country. The kids played in the back, read, colored in their coloring books and took naps and ate junk...yes junk. They survived.

Sorry, didn't mean to go on but...it is puzzling to me why on spring break kids just can't go out and have fun at home and not travel on a plane to Disney or somewhere else. You can't even go into a restaurant hardly anymore without playthings for kids to keep them amused. What about jsut stting there talking and learning manners? Like yes plese, no thank you, Thank you, Excuse me? Pardon me. I'm sorry. Hello Mrs. so and so or Hello Mr. so and so. I'm pleased to meet you. It was nice meeting you, etc.

Guess I'm old fashioned but I'm glad I was and glad I am to this day. If you dont' have to work don't!!! If you do, you deserve all the help you can get. When I see as I said above driving babies to day care centers on cold, snowy mornings in BMW's and then seeing someone standing and freezing in the cold waiting for the bus to go to work...well, I see a BIG DIFFERENCE there folks. A BIG Difference. God bless all the children.

[nkycincinnatikid]

My wife is one of those, but since the kid is gone, I say she damn well better work, I mean somebody has to.