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PENTAGON REGRETS ‘FRANCE SUCKS’ MEMO - Timing 'Unfortunate,' Wolfowitz Says
Borowitz Report ^

Posted on 12/12/2003 3:48:01 AM PST by Sub-Driver

PENTAGON REGRETS ‘FRANCE SUCKS’ MEMO

Timing 'Unfortunate,' Wolfowitz Says

The Pentagon said today that it regretted releasing a memo indicating that France sucks just hours before the U.S. was to ask the French to forgive billions in Iraqi debt.

"The timing of the memo was unfortunate," said Deputy Defense Secretary Paul Wolfowitz, who authored the memo. "We should have released the memo after the French agreed to forgive the debt."

In concluding his mea culpa, Mr. Wolfowitz said, "Our timing, much like France itself, sucks."

The Wolfowitz memo, which was entitled "France: Why It Sucks," was the talk of diplomatic circles in Paris and Washington today.

"If Monsieur Wolfowitz believes that France sucks, he is certainly entitled to his opinion," said French Foreign Minister Dominique de Villepin. "But there was no need to list 1,001 reasons."

For his part, Mr. Wolfowitz agreed that the length of the memo was a "rare misstep for me," adding, "I should have gone with my original idea, 'The Top Ten Reasons Why France Sucks.'"

Attempting to mend fences with France, Germany and Russia, who were still fuming about being shut out of bidding for reconstruction projects in Iraq, Mr. Wolfowitz said today that the U.S. would permit the three allies to bid on "one-of-a-kind memorabilia" on the auction site eBay.

The first eBay item mentioned by Mr. Wolfowitz, an autographed program from Cher's Farewell Tour 2003, went to Russia, who was the highest bidder at $10.50.

In other news, former General Wesley Clark shook up his bid for the presidency today, replacing his campaign staff with NATO troops.


TOPICS: Political Humor/Cartoons
KEYWORDS: antifrenchhumor; dod; humor

1 posted on 12/12/2003 3:48:01 AM PST by Sub-Driver
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To: Sub-Driver

Not only does France suck, it swallows.

Kudos to Wolfowitz!

2 posted on 12/12/2003 3:55:32 AM PST by putupon (Warning: Posted by Professional Bushbot Baiter.)
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To: Sub-Driver
Bad attempt at humor bump
3 posted on 12/12/2003 3:57:11 AM PST by grumple (I'm too old to worry about whether or not I'm a pain in your ass...)
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To: grumple
bad attempt telling the truth ? burn in hell France
4 posted on 12/12/2003 4:00:07 AM PST by cars for sale
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To: grumple
Bad attempt at humor? It was hysterical!
5 posted on 12/12/2003 4:02:20 AM PST by jaykay (It'll always be Operation Infinite Justice to me.)
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To: putupon
http://www.rushlimbaugh.com/home/eibessential0/the_chirac_hussein_connection___courtesy_of_stratfor_com.guest.html
6 posted on 12/12/2003 4:07:55 AM PST by At _War_With_Liberals (It's more than a lib/con thing- All 3 branches of govt colluded to limit the 1st amendment)
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To: Sub-Driver
Contrary to at least one poster, I thought it was great!
7 posted on 12/12/2003 4:08:30 AM PST by Egon (I'll still respect you... I'll respect you even more... Just use more whipped cream...)
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To: At _War_With_Liberals
That's a daft photograph. It was dated to the 70s. in the 70s and 80s WE were even more closer to Saddy. We gave him weapons tons of them, so the photograph only serves as embarassment to all of the West that we made a mistake in Irq.
8 posted on 12/12/2003 4:11:26 AM PST by Cronos (W2004)
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To: Cronos
Pic taken at nuclear reactor.
9 posted on 12/12/2003 4:13:30 AM PST by At _War_With_Liberals (It's more than a lib/con thing- All 3 branches of govt colluded to limit the 1st amendment)
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To: cars for sale
Well I can agree that the "leaders" of France should burn in hell, but I don't believe the majority of the people agree with what their leaders have done. And I'm in a bah humbug sort of mood today, I need coffee...
10 posted on 12/12/2003 4:13:59 AM PST by grumple (I'm too old to worry about whether or not I'm a pain in your ass...)
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To: Cronos
That's a myth. There were never any M-60 MBTs, nor any F-4 jets, in Saddam's inventory. Saddam was close to the Soviets. He got a little help in the 80's when it looked like he might get his butt kicked by the Iranis, mostly intelligence (spy satellite) help. SIPRI used to have a good graphic that showed the predominance of ComBloc weaponry in Saddam's arsenal, but it's gone from their site now.
11 posted on 12/12/2003 4:16:43 AM PST by FreedomPoster (this space intentionally blank)
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To: grumple
sadly,yes the majority of France DO AGREE.
12 posted on 12/12/2003 4:17:13 AM PST by cars for sale
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To: Sub-Driver
"France: Why It Sucks,"

Ah, the subtle language of diplomacy.

13 posted on 12/12/2003 4:17:44 AM PST by IronJack
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To: Cronos
WE were even more closer to Saddy. We gave him weapons tons of them, so the photograph only serves as embarassment to all of the West that we made a mistake in Irq.

Unless you are Russian or Chinese, the numbers don't back you up.

14 posted on 12/12/2003 4:20:20 AM PST by MediaMole
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To: IronJack
Nice post! I just sprayed my monitor with OJ.

LOL.
15 posted on 12/12/2003 4:22:50 AM PST by taxed2death (A few billion here, a few trillion there...we're all friends right?)
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To: Sub-Driver
Sacre Bleu!

Vous sucer effectif bon, eh bien bourdonner enlever!

16 posted on 12/12/2003 4:23:58 AM PST by G.Mason
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To: Sub-Driver
Hysterical!
17 posted on 12/12/2003 4:27:47 AM PST by tkathy (The islamofascists and the democrats are trying to destroy this country)
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To: Cronos
Just to prove my point...


18 posted on 12/12/2003 4:28:23 AM PST by MediaMole
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To: MediaMole
France smells, too.
19 posted on 12/12/2003 4:44:07 AM PST by Sacajaweau (God Bless Our Troops!!)
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To: MediaMole; cardinal4
I'm surprised Chile didn't make that list. I remember seeing an Iraqi Airways 747 sitting on the runway at Santiago International in the mid 80s. Some investigation yielded that the Chileans were selling loads of ammunition to the Iraqis.
20 posted on 12/12/2003 4:47:02 AM PST by Ax
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To: Cronos
Why do so many Liberals and willing accomplices believe we armed Saddam when its a MUCH BIGGER LIE than "there were WMD's".

Where were the US Planes, Tanks, Armaments in the 1991 war?

ALL his tanks, APC's, Guns, missiles, aircraft were NON-US.

He didn't get any arms from the US after that, either, unless Clinton sold him some we don't know about.

Because american companies helped establish Iraq's Oil Industry doesn't mean we gave Saddam "Tons of Weapons"

21 posted on 12/12/2003 5:26:47 AM PST by UNGN (I've been here since '98 but had nothing to say until now)
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To: Cronos
We gave him weapons tons of them, so the photograph only serves as embarassment to all of the West that we made a mistake in Irq.

We gave enough weapons to Saddam to keep the the Iranians (who not long before had held Americans hostage for an extended period of time, I might add) from rolling over Iraq and becoming a Jihadist semi-super power.

A most excellent strategy; it forced a their war to end in a draw.

The Ayotollah and/or his mullahs ruling both countries would have been a major disaster and eventually cost untold amounts of American blood and money to correct.

22 posted on 12/12/2003 6:00:37 AM PST by putupon (Warning: Posted by Professional Bushbot Baiter.)
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To: Sub-Driver
ROFL !
23 posted on 12/12/2003 6:02:30 AM PST by af_vet_1981
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To: FreedomPoster
He got a little help in the 80's when it looked like he might get his butt kicked by the Iranis, mostly intelligence (spy satellite) help.

We also provided "advisors" who assisted the Iraqis in directing their artillery. They did very well against charging boys that were sent against them by the ayatollas. This has not been forgotten by the powers in Iran. They find it hard to forgive us for supporting Saddam during the Iran - Iraq war.
24 posted on 12/12/2003 6:20:04 AM PST by Bringbackthedraft (Hillary 2004 Its in the works for sure, just watch! She is the best they can do.)
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To: Sub-Driver
Thank you! France indeed does suck.
25 posted on 12/12/2003 6:24:47 AM PST by sandydipper (Never quit - never surrender!)
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To: Bringbackthedraft
In any case, it was pretty minimal. Fundamentally, we just didn't want anyone to win that war.
26 posted on 12/12/2003 6:30:06 AM PST by FreedomPoster (this space intentionally blank)
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To: Cronos
It's a common misconception that during the 80's the US provided Saddam Hussein with loads of material support (weapons, etc.) In fact the support we gave him was more in the range of non-tangibles such as intelligence about the Iranians with the intention of keeping neither of them from achieving a clear victory over the other. That strategy worked but it eventually led Hussein to expect that we would let him get away with acquiring Kuwait.

The Chinese, French, and of course the Soviets provided the vast bulk of Iraq's military hardware. Under the Iran-Contra program we actually provided much more hardware (mostly parts for the US weapons the mullahs inherited from the Shah) to Iran.

There is a graph that the Stockholm International Peace Research Institute put together showing that betweem 1973 and 2002 the US supplied about 1 % of Iraq's military supplies. It was an eye opener for an Iranian friend of mine who also thought the US completely backed Hussein during the Iran Iraq war. I have a copy of the graph on my computer but I'm not sure how to post it here without a weblink address.

27 posted on 12/12/2003 6:30:35 AM PST by katana
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To: katana
Whoops! Regarding the graph, see no. 18.
28 posted on 12/12/2003 6:32:32 AM PST by katana
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Comment #29 Removed by Moderator

To: ThatsAllFolks2
Somehow I think the "cash" we provided him was almost entirely for oil, and that commodity is supplied via a pooled global market. Iraq was a client state of the Soviet Union and therefore an unlikely recipient of direct American aid (Iran was our opposite number client until 1979). I could be wrong, but I do not recall Iraq being on the list of countries receiving either military or economic assistance grants from the US. They certainly didn't need it.
30 posted on 12/12/2003 7:15:42 AM PST by katana
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To: katana
18 nothing ... check out 11!!
31 posted on 12/12/2003 10:28:00 PM PST by AgThorn (Go go Bush!!)
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To: FreedomPoster
It's not a myth. CAll a spade a spade, Saddy was our bad a** to hit the Iranians. He was useful in the 80s but we didn't make as big a mistake as Clintack made by building up the Taliban. I'm just saying that this photo is dumb as the same thing can be posted about our leaders in the 70s and 80s meeting senior Baathists because we were duped into thinking they were the good guys.
32 posted on 12/13/2003 4:20:31 PM PST by Cronos (W2004)
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To: putupon
Yup, that's just the point I'm making, we did the right thing then and we're doing hte right thing now. Putting up stupid photos like the one with Jacqui hurts our cause for the reason I stated above -- it's from the 70s and the same decade was when we considered Saddy to be the good guy. The French have already hoisted their own petard NOW with their actions NOW, and this stupid photo hurts OUR cause.
33 posted on 12/13/2003 4:23:34 PM PST by Cronos (W2004)
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To: Sub-Driver
[ In concluding his mea culpa, Mr. Wolfowitz said, "Our timing, much like France itself, sucks." ]

Thanks for the laugh Santa. I needed that....

34 posted on 12/13/2003 4:45:29 PM PST by hosepipe
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To: Sub-Driver
also:

http://www.heritage.org/Research/MiddleEast/wm217.cfm

Facts on Who would have Benefited From Keeping Saddam Hussein In Power
35 posted on 12/13/2003 4:51:32 PM PST by hosepipe
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To: At _War_With_Liberals
Shaking Hands: Iraqi President Saddam Hussein greets Donald Rumsfeld, then special envoy of President Ronald Reagan, in Baghdad on December 20, 1983. http://www.gwu.edu/~nsarchiv/NSAEBB/NSAEBB82/

36 posted on 12/16/2003 3:35:55 PM PST by EvilGate (Toutes les vérités ne sont pas bonnes à dire)
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