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Questions Remain After Wellstone's Accident Report [Killed by CIA Gamma Ray]
Liberal Slant ^ | 12/31/03 | Jackson Thereau

Posted on 12/31/2003 7:01:01 AM PST by 11th Earl of Mar

By: Jackson Thoreau - 12/30/03

Shortly before he died in a mysterious airplane crash 11 days prior to the 2002 elections, Minnesota Sen. Paul Wellstone met with Vice President Dick Cheney, probably the Bush administration's most evil public face.

Cheney was rounding up Senate support for the October 2002 vote on giving the administration carte blanche to invade Iraq, with or without blessing from the United Nations. Cheney strong-armed opposing politicians like the most vindictive of mafioso leaders, and opponents usually gave in.

But not Wellstone. Whatever you thought of his progressive brand of politics, he wasn't a wimp. And that's what made him more than dangerous in the eyes of people like Cheney.

At a meeting full of war veterans in Willmar, Minn., days before his death, Wellstone told attendees that Cheney told him, "If you vote against the war in Iraq, the Bush administration will do whatever is necessary to get you. There will be severe ramifications for you and the state of Minnesota."

Wellstone cast his vote for his conscience and against the Iraq measure, the lone Democrat involved in a tough 2002 election campaign to do so. And a few weeks later on Oct. 25, as he appeared to be winning his re-election bid, Wellstone, his wife, Sheila, his daughter, Marcia Markuson, three campaign staffers, and two pilots died in a plane crash in Minnesota.

Talk about "severe ramifications."

My first hunch upon hearing about the tragedy was that the Beech King Air A-100 was tampered with by right wingers, possibly the CIA, either directly or through electromagnetic rays or some psychic mind games.

And nothing I have heard or read since then has made me drift from that hunch. I'm not alone. The Duluth News Tribune featured a column by Jim Fetzer, a University of Minnesota-Duluth philosophy professor and author, in November 2003. Fetzer wrote that an FBI "recovery team" headed out to investigate the Wellstone plane crash BEFORE the plane went down. "I calculate that this team would have had to have left the Twin Cities at about the same time the Wellstone plane was taking off," Fetzer wrote.

He wrote that "we have to consider other, less palatable, alternatives, such as small bombs, gas canisters or electromagnetic pulse, radio frequency or High Energy Radio Frequency weapons designed to overwhelm electrical circuitry with an intense electromagnetic field. An abrupt cessation of communication between the plane and the tower took place at about 10:18 a.m., the same time an odd cell phone phenomenon occurred with a driver in the immediate vicinity. This suggests to me the most likely explanation is that one of our new electromagnetic weapons was employed."

Michael Ruppert, publisher of From the Wilderness, wrote that the day after the crash he received a message from a former CIA operative who was familiar with those kinds of assassinations. The message read, "As I said earlier, having played ball [and still playing in some respects] with this current crop of reinvigorated old white men, these clowns are nobody to screw around with. There will be a few more strategic accidents. You can be certain of that."

Ruppert also interviewed two Democratic Congress representatives who said they believed Wellstone was murdered. One said, "I don't think there's anyone on the Hill who doesn't suspect it. It's too convenient, too coincidental, too damned obvious. My guess is that some of the less courageous members of the party are thinking about becoming Republicans right now."

NTSB blames pilots

But in November 2003, the NTSB blamed the two pilots of Wellstone's plane, Richard Conry and Michael Guess, for the crash. The pilots flew too high and too fast when they began a left turn toward the runway, then let it slow to dangerous levels, the NTSB said...

Several pilots said the NTSB was just looking for scapegoats. "It is hard to believe that two experienced pilots would fail to monitor airspeed," one said.

As in the case of JFK, the scapegoats who took the blame were conveniently dead.

And many questions remained.

Electromagnetic pulse device suspected

More people than Fetzer and I believe that Wellstone's plane could have been hit with an electromagnetic pulse [EMP] device that caused the aircraft to suddenly turn off course.

Electromagnetic pulses from military craft may have been responsible for several civilian airline disasters in the late 1990s, according to an article in The London Observer. In particular, Swissair 111 in 1998 and TWA 800 in 1996 both took the same route over Long Island, experienced trouble in the same region, suffered catastrophic electrical malfunctions, and were flying at a time when military exercises involving submarines and U.S. Navy P3 fighter planes were being conducted.

Experts have even testified before Congress about concerns that terrorists may use EMPs, which they said were capable of short-circuiting computers, satellites, radios, radar, and traffic lights. An EMP shockwave can be produced by a device small enough to fit in a briefcase, they said. Stanley Jakubiak, senior civilian official for nuclear command, control, communications, and EMP policy for the Defense Department, admitted in 1999 Congressional testimony that the feds have studied EMPs for years.

U.S. Marine Corp Major M. CaJohn went farther than that in a 1988 report, writing that officials had sought remedies for the effects of EMPs at least since the early 1960s. The Air Force built an EMP testing facility called TRESTLE in 1980 at Kirkland Air Force Base in New Mexico. The Navy also erected an EMP testing facility called EMPRESS I at Point Patience on the Patuxent River in Maryland. Other agencies have their own EMP facilities.

Fetzer also reports on other instances and reports, including nuclear tests by Soviets and Americans in the 1960s resulting in gigantic releases of electromagnetic energy. There is also this 1998 U.S. Department of Justice document describing these devices: http://www.ncjrs.org/txtfiles/sl298.txt.

First developed in the 19th century, EMPs now are relatively easy to obtain. Anyone can acquire an EMP generator through the Internet, such as at http://www.amazing1.com/emp.htm.

Theoretically, a person a few miles from the runway could bombard the aircraft with an intense electromagnetic pulse, which could cause an electrical failure, instantly knock out radio communication, disrupt normal engine ignition, and cause loss of steering control. The steering control surfaces on these airplanes are controlled by individual electrical actuators that are mechanically linked to the rudder, ailerons, and flaps.

This type of sabotage would leave no physical evidence on the aircraft, although it's possible that people at the airport or in the general vicinity might have noticed electrical anomalies like radio noises, a crashed computer, telephone disruption, and so on.

A Texas software engineer wrote me that EMPs damage systems by generating an electrical pulse in the system wiring. Therefore, a component would not have to be directly exposed to an EMP to be damaged. An aircraft struck by an EMP pulse would not likely die, unless the plane was hit by an extremely powerful EMP pulse.

"More likely, an EMP strike would disable delicate electronic systems, leaving electrical systems intact," the engineer wrote. "After being struck by an EMP, the aircraft would likely function more or less normally, but without any control systems, instruments, or radios. This would account for the assertion that the Wellstone plane's engines were still running when the plane hit the ground."

Another electrical engineer wrote, "You don't need anything as elaborate as an EMP generator. Standard issue radio transmitters can screw up a landing." ...

Weird cell phone interference reported

John Ongaro, a Minnesota lobbyist, wrote to Fetzer about his experience the day Wellstone died. Ongaro said he was driving to the same funeral that Wellstone and his party were flying to in Eveleth, Minn. While traveling north on Hwy. 53 near the Eveleth-Virginia Municipal Airport in the same area as Wellstone's plane, he received a call on his cell phone at precisely the same time Wellstone's King Air veered off course.

"This call was in a league of its own," Ongaro said. "When I answered it, what I heard sounded like a cross between a roar and a loud humming noise. The noise seemed to be oscillating, and I could not make out any words being spoken. Instead, just this loud, grotesque, sometimes screeching and humming noise."

What he heard may very well have been electronic interference from an EMP or microwave weapon.

One writer to talk show host Jeff Rense suggested a scenario involving "black op specialists" in a van or truck full of radio/instrument landing jamming equipment. "As Wellstone's plane approaches the airport, the VOR/ILS jamming equipment is activated, and a 'decoy' VOR signal is sent to the plane, thus tricking the plane's instruments [and the pilot] into believing the airport is somewhere several degrees off the true course to the runway," S.H. wrote. "The pilot follows that signal straight into the ground. The non-descript van, full of covert electronic jamming equipment, casually leaves the area, looking just like any other TV repair truck or moving van." ...

Among the weird events since Wellstone's death was that his successor in the U.S. Senate, Republican Norm Coleman, was named chairman of the Senate Permanent Subcommittee on Investigations. As Fetzer said, that's a practically unheard of position for a freshman senator with no previous experience. Could that be why Congress has not opened a formal investigation into Wellstone's death?

For my part, I'm not a big conspiracy nut who worries about this kind of thing all the time - just an average one like Oliver Stone who knows there's something sinister and weird going on in our world. I have done extensive research into the JFK assassination in Dallas. The right wing of the CIA was heavily involved in that, from Oswald's CIA connections to the Dallas mayor at that time being the brother of the former CIA deputy director who lost his job after the Bay of Pigs fiasco and blamed that on JFK. The Dallas mayor may even have approved the change in the parade route on that fateful day so it would go right by the grassy knoll and building where Oswald and probably other snipers were, where JFK met his death.

I have interviewed numerous people who reported weird things that occurred during that time, such as key witnesses dying in strange ways like mysterious plane crashes and being run over by trains in the middle of the night. I have written numerous stories on this and covered it in my book on Dallas history - and have received my share of threatening phone calls, mail opened, and the like to know I was stepping on some powerful toes.

There were also numerous JFK murder witnesses committing suicide in the months after that tragedy. The CIA has done extensive mind control work for decades - I know at least one psychic personally who started working for the CIA in the 1980s - and could possibly convince someone through such mind games to commit suicide. Could they psychically work on making a plane crash? Who knows? Anything is possible.

Similarities with Carnahan, Kennedy crashes

What about Democratic Missouri Gov. Mel Carnahan, who was killed during a close Senate race when his small plane crashed right before the 2000 election? What about John F. Kennedy Jr., who had intelligence, political ambitions, charisma, and the name, dying in a 1999 plane crash?

In both of those cases, the planes were already descending towards their landing and then suddenly wandered off their approach paths and crashed, similar to Wellstone's craft. In all three cases, radio contact appears to have been cut off while the planes were still in the air, possibly indicating electrical failures on board.

In Kennedy's case, at least one witness saw a flash in the sky and heard an explosion before the plane went down, as in Wellstone's situation. Kennedy's plane was also left unguarded at Teeterborough Airport in New Jersey, and almost anyone could have placed something inside it.

The list of high-profile Democratic politicians killed in plane crashes goes on - Commerce Secretary Ron Brown in 1996, Rep. Mickey Leland of Texas in 1989, Rep. Jerry Litton of Missouri in 1976 [who was also involved in a hard-fought election at the time], House Majority Leader Hale Boggs of Louisiana and Rep. Nick Begich of Alaska in 1972.

In fact, of 22 air crashes involving state and federal officials, including one ambassador and one cabinet official, From the Wilderness found that 14 - 64 percent - were Democrats and eight - 36 percent - were Republicans.

Add to that Raytheon Co., one of the biggest U.S. military contractors and manufacturer of the plane that crashed with Wellstone in it, being a huge donor to Republicans, and the mind continues to wonder. U.S. House Republican Majority Leader Dick Armey of Texas, for instance, received $48,201 alone from Raytheon in 1997-98. The Republican National Committee received at least $170,000 from Raytheon since 1999. Raytheon donates to Democrats, too, but more than twice as much money goes to Republicans.

Raytheon has all kinds of CIA connections, as does Bush, whose father, remember, was once director of the CIA. One of the more intriguing discoveries that emerged from the NTSB's own investigation of this case was that Raytheon not only not only manufactured EM force and EM pulse weapons, but also manufactured the King Air A100. No other entity would have been better positioned to have taken it down. See http://www.ntsb.gov/publictn/2003/AAR0303.htm for more details.

Bush, for his part, issued some strange comments immediately after Wellstone's crash, even for him. He called Wellstone - who was an articulate, energetic, intelligent political science professor for 21 years before he was a senator - a "plain-spoken fellow." He said he wanted to issue his "condolences for the loss of the Senate." Did he mean the Democrats' sudden loss of the Senate, which occurred the day Wellstone died? Did he know something more than he let on?

Bush once called Wellstone a 'chicken shit'

There was no love lost between the Bush clan and Wellstone. In 1990, as Wellstone challenged the Persian Gulf War preparations, Bush Sr. even referred to Wellstone as a "chicken shit." When Wellstone first met Bush Jr. in 2001, the latter disrespectfully called him "Pablo."

As The Nation said in May 2002, getting rid of Wellstone was a passion for Bush, Karl Rove, and Cheney. "There are people in the White House who wake up in the morning thinking about how they will defeat Paul Wellstone," a senior Republican aide told The Nation. "This one is political and personal for them."

No senator had a more consistent record of voting against Bush administration proposals in 2001. Wellstone voted against the Homeland Security Act and many of Bush's judicial nominees. He pushed for stronger environmental programs, for genuine measures to counter corporate fraud, and for investigations into Sept. 11 and $350 million that was missing from the Bureau of Indian Affairs.

Freepers' comments I read about this tragedy were mostly tasteful - on the surface - though some jokes and conspiratorial posts were published on their right-wing site. Right after the news of the crash, some posted comments like "prayers for control of the Senate." Several comments were removed by the moderator. One that was not said, "You do realize that as we sit here praying for one of our biggest political enemies' safety, President Bush will be blamed by the Democrats [including the rabid leftists at DU and other brain-sucking sites] for the crash."

Another joked, "Maybe it was shot down by a right wing militia. We've got to ban handguns." And another said, "Ted Kennedy may have been on [the plane]." Then there was this ramble: "Politically speaking, would this be good or bad news for the GOP if he's dead? I could see him winning now like Carnahan in 2000 so that Gov. Jesse could appoint his successor. I'm thinking this is probably not good news."

And this comment: "Any bets on how quickly the Democrats will have his wife take his place on the ballot?" Hello? Sen. Wellstone's wife died in the tragedy, remember? Another post predicted that "[Republican Senate candidate in Minnesota] Coleman's campaign is dead." And then there was this message: "I pray that Wellstone and all of his aides survive, and live to see themselves defeated handily on Nov 5th...unless this is yet another of Tom 'Caligula' Daschle's election schemes." Someone else added, "Carnahan II? Ventura is the governor, not a D...this time."

Such conservatives' glee at the demise of probably the most powerful real progressive in the country was entirely evident in such comments. Many contained themselves, but we know what they're really thinking, don't we?

And a few days after Wellstone's death, right wingers were selling and displaying on their vehicles insensitive bumper stickers with messages like, "He's dead, get over it." How's that for "compassionate conservatism?"


TOPICS: Front Page News; News/Current Events; US: Minnesota
KEYWORDS: airsecurity; arkancide; bds; conspiracy; conspiracytheory; iwantwhathessmoking; leftwingnut; passthebong; paulwellstone; rabidleftist; senatorwellstone; tinfoilhat; wellstonerally; zotforbrains
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1 posted on 12/31/2003 7:01:02 AM PST by 11th Earl of Mar
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To: 11th Earl of Mar
Gamma Ray protection


2 posted on 12/31/2003 7:04:26 AM PST by smith288 (Secret member of the VRWC elite forces)
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To: 11th Earl of Mar

3 posted on 12/31/2003 7:07:24 AM PST by Drango (Democratic fund raising....If PBS won't do it, who will?)
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To: 11th Earl of Mar
There are so many things I could write to discredit this loon, but it would be a complete waste of time. What a nut.
4 posted on 12/31/2003 7:07:40 AM PST by ItisaReligionofPeace (I'm from the government and I'm here to help.)
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To: 11th Earl of Mar
This is an article of a pot trying to call a kettle black.

So its ok to hold a politcally driven "memorial" trying to win the senate seat only to look like a bunch of ignorant hate mongering grave dancers with their DNC banners?

Im sorry, but plucking a few indecent comments form FreeRepublic doesnt compare to that gala they held in Minnesota.
5 posted on 12/31/2003 7:08:03 AM PST by smith288 (Secret member of the VRWC elite forces)
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To: 11th Earl of Mar
This just in -- Reynolds Wrap stock up 18%.
6 posted on 12/31/2003 7:08:03 AM PST by reagan_fanatic (Ain't Skeered...)
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To: All
Tell The Media: NO on Valerie "Plame", YES on Memogate!!! (memos and judges action alert)
7 posted on 12/31/2003 7:08:11 AM PST by jmstein7
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To: 11th Earl of Mar
Many contained themselves, but we know what they're really thinking, don't we?

That kind of insinuation is impossible to refute or defend. Typical DU bravo sierra. This guy is a piece of work; I thought all the kookiest conspiracy mongers were right here on FR!

-ccm

8 posted on 12/31/2003 7:08:23 AM PST by ccmay
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To: 11th Earl of Mar
spin spin spin ....

And a few weeks later on Oct. 25, as he appeared to be winning his re-election bid.....

That ain't the way I remember it at all ... I do believe that he was loosing in the polls to his republican challenger.

9 posted on 12/31/2003 7:08:25 AM PST by AgThorn (Go go Bush!!)
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To: dighton; hellinahandcart; L,TOWM; BlueLancer; Poohbah; Tijeras_Slim

What did the Nasty Little Clique™ know and when did they know it?

10 posted on 12/31/2003 7:08:37 AM PST by Constitution Day (Iraqi blogger to President Bush: "The bones in the mass graves salute you, Avenger of the Bones.")
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To: reagan_fanatic
Michael Rivero....white courtesy phone
11 posted on 12/31/2003 7:09:10 AM PST by AppyPappy (If You're Not A Part Of The Solution, There's Good Money To Be Made In Prolonging The Problem.)
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To: 11th Earl of Mar
I'll check out the crash as soon as I get through investigating this car wreck!

CG


12 posted on 12/31/2003 7:10:01 AM PST by Conspiracy Guy (Clues for sale, 20 % off through Jan 1, 2004. Don't be clueless, buy yours today.)
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To: 11th Earl of Mar

13 posted on 12/31/2003 7:10:30 AM PST by Jaxter ("Vivit Post Funera Virtus")
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To: 11th Earl of Mar
This is one of the subjects that anyone reading DU who is ~undecided~ about whether they are nuts can read just a few posts and come to a certain conclusion.
14 posted on 12/31/2003 7:11:32 AM PST by HairOfTheDog
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To: 11th Earl of Mar
Actually, on that fateful day, Tom Harkin was in Des Moines facing south. As he so often does, he released a blast of flatulence which headed north in a tremendous pulse-wave making contact with the aircraft in question.

15 posted on 12/31/2003 7:13:11 AM PST by troublesome creek
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To: ccmay
I thought all the kookiest conspiracy mongers were right here on FR!

Just because we caused a run on tin foil hats doesn't mean that ALL of the nuts are on FR.

16 posted on 12/31/2003 7:13:18 AM PST by 11th Earl of Mar
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To: 11th Earl of Mar
OK. That does it for me. I am logging out now. Pretty day for a walk.
17 posted on 12/31/2003 7:13:25 AM PST by BayouCoyote (PORK AKBAR!!)
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To: AppyPappy
Karl Rove action figure:


18 posted on 12/31/2003 7:14:39 AM PST by Bluntpoint
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To: 11th Earl of Mar
Many contained themselves, but we know what they're really thinking, don't we?

You do...IF YOU'RE ONE A'THEM PSYCHICS!! GIT OUTTA MY HEAD!!!

19 posted on 12/31/2003 7:16:44 AM PST by TheBigB (...international law is whatever the United States and Great Britain say it is. - Ann Coulter)
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To: 11th Earl of Mar
Sounds like a DU thread. Everything is a conspiracy all the time all day long.
20 posted on 12/31/2003 7:16:47 AM PST by chance33_98 (I'm a little tagline short and stout, chance is my handle and the above is his spout)
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To: 11th Earl of Mar

21 posted on 12/31/2003 7:17:26 AM PST by InvisibleChurch ("Has this egg nog been approved by the Nogmaster General?")
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To: AgThorn
The Columbia Political Review (hardly a conservative outlet) said in October of 2002 that Coleman was ahead 4-6 poiints, and that Wellstone, who had NEVER gotten more than 50% of the vote in any election, was pretty certain to be defeated.

The full article from which I got this information may be found HERE.

22 posted on 12/31/2003 7:19:12 AM PST by Miss Marple
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To: InvisibleChurch
I always suspected Stewie was part of the VRWC. First clue: his hatred of broccoli.
23 posted on 12/31/2003 7:20:58 AM PST by Petronski (I'm not always cranky.)
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To: smith288
Is it just me, or has the rat party become a collection of psychotic demogogues?

It isn't just Oliver Stone anymore. Seven of the nine 9 dwarfs tout the most bizarre theories.

And just check out DUH for five seconds!

24 posted on 12/31/2003 7:21:09 AM PST by FormerACLUmember (A person is only as big as the dream they dare to live.)
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Comment #25 Removed by Moderator

To: Miss Marple
Such conservatives' glee at the demise of probably the most powerful real progressive in the country

Huh? Has this fine fellow seen the attendees at the "memorial" rally? I've never seen Hillary look so imbued with joy. She is positively incandescent.

(Not saying anybody was behind what was clearly an accident. Merely commenting on who took glee in the demise of the Senator.)

26 posted on 12/31/2003 7:24:24 AM PST by cyncooper ("The evil is in plain sight")
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To: 11th Earl of Mar
Hear-say, Hunches, Strange Phenomena, FBI Conspiracies, CIA. AND JFK! Mulder and Scully killed Paul Wellstone! I especially love how the author links Ron Brown's death to a supposed right-wing conspiracy. If I remember correctly, he died shortly after agreeing to cooperate in an investigation into Clintoon. This is the biggest steaming pile I have read in ages! Keep em coming though... I laughed for an hour.
27 posted on 12/31/2003 7:26:21 AM PST by The_Sword_of_Groo (Did I err?)
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To: 11th Earl of Mar
Build your own Aluminum Foil Deflector Beanie!
28 posted on 12/31/2003 7:26:32 AM PST by Xenalyte (I may not agree with your bumper sticker, but I'll defend to the death your right to stick it)
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To: 11th Earl of Mar; dighton; general_re; L,TOWM; Constitution Day; hellinahandcart; Thinkin' Gal

The Philadelphia Experiment

Okay, which one of you guys forgot to turn off the switch!

29 posted on 12/31/2003 7:26:38 AM PST by BlueLancer (Der Elite Møøsenspåånkængrüppen ØberKømmååndø (EMØØK))
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To: 11th Earl of Mar
Did the VRWC shoot down Buddy Holly's plane over Iowa in 59. Naw Elvis did that cause Holly was gonna take all his fans.

CG
30 posted on 12/31/2003 7:30:56 AM PST by Conspiracy Guy (Clues for sale, 20 % off through Jan 1, 2004. Don't be clueless, buy yours today.)
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To: Constitution Day; dighton; hellinahandcart; L,TOWM; BlueLancer; Poohbah; Tijeras_Slim
Okay. We're so smart we were able to remotely mess with the pilots' heads and cause them to crash the plane. But we're so stupid we dispatched the recovery team BEFORE the plane crashed.

And we're so incompetent in the @$$-covering department that now a philosophy professor in Minnesota is ON to us! Curses...

This conspiracy is DOOMED if certain NLCer's don't clean up their frickin' acts. And no, I'm not mentioning names. You know who you are.
31 posted on 12/31/2003 7:33:07 AM PST by hellinahandcart
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To: Miss Marple
Thanks ... I thought I remembered that right. Kinda takes the wind out of the old conspiracy theorists when they are reminded with the facts that Wellstone was loosing in the polls.
32 posted on 12/31/2003 7:33:35 AM PST by AgThorn (Go go Bush!!)
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To: FormerACLUmember
The 9 Drarf Series:

Howie

Your comments really crack me up,
I’d have to say you’re funny.
As funny as a hemorrhoid,
Or as a nose that’s runny.
Saddam’s capture no big deal,
Your stance is still the same.
You’re really sucking big on this,
I’d say your brain is lame.
But tell me Howie, I must know,
These speeches, just who writes them?
Katie Couric comes to mind,
Or Michael Moore, is it him?
Well Doctor Dean you make me sick,
Malpractice, I will sue you.
Please get a clue, I’ll sell you one,
John Kerry needs a few too.

Conspiracy Guy 12/16/03


The Gen’ral

I‘d say that you’re invalid,
Even though you served.
The Clintons really like you,
That’s why I am unnerved.
You seem to be a sissy,
Too light in your old loafers.
I’d say it seems for Bill and Hill,
You’re just one of their gofers.
Retired your stars and that is best,
For you’ve not got a clue.
I’d vote for Sharpton, Gen’ral Clark,
Before I’d vote for you.

Conspiracy Guy 12/17/03


Ketchup Boy

You’re a Vet from Viet Nam,
My question is which side?
There is another problem too,
You’ll never get the ride.
It looks as though you’re in third place,
Behind both Dean and Clark.
Though there are nine dems in the thing,
Your fire is just a spark.
I have a plan to help you though,
So listen up to me.
Just offer pickles and ketchup,
To all the voters free.
You still won’t be the nominee,
But your point will be made.
Free condiments is so much more,
Than any plans you’ve laid.

Conspiracy Guy 12/22/03


Squeaky

Sometimes you sound conservative,
Then your whine starts running.
You’re fourth or worse among the nine,
So for you, no one’s gunning.
Take comfort that you have a job,
The dems aren’t picking you.
Your buddy Al’s endorsing Dean,
Count that a blessing too.
You couldn’t win as running mates,
Just tell big Al to stuff it.
Go Loserman should be your name,
From now on you must rough it.

Conspiracy Guy 12/22/03


Sharpton

Of all the nine I must conclude,
That you’re the only one.
That I can sit and listen to,
And you are having fun.
Your ideas are ridiculous,
Yes even for a dem.
A freeze in hell will happen first,
Before you’re on the limb.
So keep it up your mirth and wit,
It’s really entertaining.
To watch you bash the other eight,
I’m really not complaining.

Conspiracy Guy 12/22/03


Dimmest of the Dem

You’re living proof that life goes on,
Long after brains are spent.
For your best thought, if you had one,
No one would pay a cent.
Just how'd you ever got a job,
With an IQ so small.
Your EEG is a flat line,
No ups or downs at all.
But still you fit right in the nine,
You’re stupid as a plumb.
And by the way please change your name,
To Carol Mostly-Dumb.

Conspiracy Guy 12/22/03



Kucinich

I’ve really dug around a bit,
About you I can’t find.
A strong or weak opinion,
You’re on nobody’s mind.
To sum you up I’ll steal a verse,
From Popeye the sailor man.
I‘ll sing it now and move along,
This proves you aren’t the man.

Sung to Popeye’s theme.

“He’s nobody that I know. toot
He’s nobody that you know. toot
Eight strong to the finish.
They’ll all beat Kucinich.
He’s nobody no one knows, toooot”

Conspiracy Guy 12/22/03


Dull

I just read your BIO,
You really need some help.
I kind of thought of seaweed,
I think they call it kelp.
You’re from a state I like a lot,
But you sir are a yawn.
To choose to drink a beer with you,
I’d sooner mow the lawn.
MSN search drops the “s”,
To John Edward it goes.
A TV host I do not know,
But this is what that shows.
You are so dull and boring,
Folks don’t know who you are.
And when it’s time to re elect,
They may look for a star.

Conspiracy Guy 12/22/03

Gephardt

I loved your show on TV,
It really was the best.
Sci Fi always caught my eye,
The Seaview beat the rest.
The monsters and the Flying sub,
Were really, really cool.
My friends and I would talk about,
The show each day in school.
Voyage to Bottom of,
The Sea’s, still on my mind.
Among the nine you are the tops,
No better will they find.
Richard Basehart is the man to win,
Two Thousand Four.
Saay whaaat? His name is Gephardt,
Crap, show him to the door.

Conspiracy Guy 12/22/03
33 posted on 12/31/2003 7:34:26 AM PST by Conspiracy Guy (Clues for sale, 20 % off through Jan 1, 2004. Don't be clueless, buy yours today.)
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To: FormerACLUmember; sauropod
Is it just me, or has the rat party become a collection of psychotic demogogues?

No, it's not just you.

My mouth drops open in shock so often these days, I'm starting to wonder why I bother closing it every time.

34 posted on 12/31/2003 7:36:02 AM PST by hellinahandcart
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To: 11th Earl of Mar
Damn!!! They discovered our secret weapon.

35 posted on 12/31/2003 7:39:05 AM PST by CFC__VRWC (AIDS, abortion, euthanasia - don't liberals just kill ya?)
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To: InvisibleChurch
Stewie is a Freeper. I just know it.
36 posted on 12/31/2003 7:39:42 AM PST by CaptainK
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To: Conspiracy Guy
To the FR Poet Laureate!
37 posted on 12/31/2003 7:41:27 AM PST by FormerACLUmember (A person is only as big as the dream they dare to live.)
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To: CFC__VRWC; hellinahandcart
Notice the location whence Cartman's antenna came out of. This is where the rat party now gets it "inspiration" these days!
38 posted on 12/31/2003 7:43:52 AM PST by FormerACLUmember (A person is only as big as the dream they dare to live.)
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To: 11th Earl of Mar
"This call was in a league of its own," Ongaro said. "When I answered it, what I heard sounded like a cross between a roar and a loud humming noise. The noise seemed to be oscillating, and I could not make out any words being spoken. Instead, just this loud, grotesque, sometimes screeching and humming noise."

Guess he never got a fax call before on his voice line.

39 posted on 12/31/2003 7:44:00 AM PST by Kirkwood
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To: 11th Earl of Mar
Went to the site and read a few essays. Wow....those folks really need to start drinking more.
40 posted on 12/31/2003 7:44:38 AM PST by randog (Everything works great 'til the current flows.)
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To: hellinahandcart
"Jackson Thereau", hmm.

Jackson for Jesse, maybe. And perhaps an allusion to Thoreau, who pretended to be getting back to nature by camping out in the woods a half mile down the tracks from Concord.

Pretentious leftist twit who's not using his birth name, I'd guess.

41 posted on 12/31/2003 7:45:53 AM PST by hellinahandcart
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To: 11th Earl of Mar
I'm just guessing this crap won't last long.
42 posted on 12/31/2003 7:47:39 AM PST by Protagoras (When they asked me what I thought of freedom in America,,, I said I thought it would be a good idea.)
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To: 11th Earl of Mar
Key words here: Tough election campaign.
He wasn't a shoo-in to win re-election.

Why kill someone when you can steal the election away from them? See? Even their own conspiracies conflict with each other. Too funny cuz they're too stupid.
43 posted on 12/31/2003 7:49:13 AM PST by mabelkitty
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To: 11th Earl of Mar
Wellstone cast his vote for his conscience and against the Iraq measure, the lone Democrat involved in a tough 2002 election campaign to do so.

This loose bolt would have us erect a Soviet-style statue of Wellstone, no doubt. IMHO, Wellstone was not important enough to waste the gamma rays on. But, in death, he has become more significant than he was in life.

44 posted on 12/31/2003 7:49:14 AM PST by CaptRon
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To: AgThorn
You are correct, sir. Norm Coleman had him whipped.
45 posted on 12/31/2003 7:50:22 AM PST by Eric in the Ozarks
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To: FormerACLUmember
I am only a simple coutry humorist who writes political poetry. There are some real poets on FR.

How are these!

Billary

It was indeed the darkest time,
We barely made it through.
The blame for this I place upon,
Your cronies and yes you.
Eight years of you and Hillary,
Were more than we could bear.
You stopped air traffic needlessly,
While someone cut your hair
I wish you’d show a little class,
And get out of my face.
But one good thing is those you help,
Most often lose their race.
So hang around and lend support,
To those who would enslave us.
As tired as I am of you Bill,
You really helped Gray Davis.

Conspiracy Guy 10/24/03

Hitlery

You hate the country of your birth,
You’d sell your soul to crush it.
You fight the things that made us great,
Your own demise please rush it.
New York put their faith in you,
Yes it was placed so poorly.
You will indeed soon be replaced,
They need a change so sorely.
So keep it up, your hate and scorn,
And you they will attack.
By the way I’ve heard that Satan,
Wants to buy his soul back

Conspiracy Guy 10/24/03
46 posted on 12/31/2003 7:50:42 AM PST by Conspiracy Guy (Clues for sale, 20 % off through Jan 1, 2004. Don't be clueless, buy yours today.)
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Comment #47 Removed by Moderator

To: 11th Earl of Mar
Where can I get some drugs like this guy is on?
48 posted on 12/31/2003 7:53:18 AM PST by woofie
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To: 11th Earl of Mar

49 posted on 12/31/2003 7:55:41 AM PST by BlueLancer (Der Elite Møøsenspåånkængrüppen ØberKømmååndø (EMØØK))
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To: 11th Earl of Mar
This from the folks who did not so much as raise an eyebrow over the Vince Foster 'suicide'. Gamma rays, no less. I'd put my money on the veracity of Juanita Broderick and Kathleen Willey first.
50 posted on 12/31/2003 7:58:43 AM PST by Spok
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