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Gays want acceptance, panel says
Huntsville Times ^ | 01/07/04 | Patricia C. Stumb

Posted on 01/07/2004 2:58:04 PM PST by Holly_P

'Laramie Project' examines attitudes in community

Daniel Gatlin was just a second-grader when he had his first crush.

He found himself fancying a third-grader. A boy.

Now 18 and a senior at Brewer High School in Morgan County, Gatlin knows what those feelings meant. He's gay.

Acknowledging to yourself that you're gay and discussing it in a church full of strangers require different levels of resolution, and Gatlin's managed both. To promote a play by Theatre Huntsville, he was part of the Tuesday night panel discussion "Prejudice, Hatred and Community Responsibility: What Can Huntsville Learn from 'The Laramie Project'?"

Some panel members were homosexuals, some were lesbians and some were straight. The common thread between them - be they social workers, law enforcement, media or ministers - was the wish for society's acceptance of all.

"The Laramie Project" is a play about how the 1998 murder of Matthew Shepard, a gay student at the University of Wyoming, affected Laramie, Wyo., where the beating took place. The script examines the guilt, homophobia, indifference and satisfaction the townspeople experienced.

Some Theatre Huntsville actors came to the panel discussion at Unitarian Universalist Church and performed scenes from the play. After each scene, panelists relayed how they were affected.

After a scene on how gays are targeted for violent or unkind treatment, WEUP-FM news director Tony Jordan said gays should be practical, especially when it involves their safety. He said behavior that flies in New York or San Francisco won't necessarily fly in Alabaster.

That response drew some criticism from other panelists who don't want gays and lesbians to hide who they are.

The Rev. Richard Barham, gay pastor of the largely gay Metropolitan Community Church in Huntsville, said one of the most unifying acts a gay person can make is to come out of the closet. The world needs to see that homosexuals "aren't creatures of the night," Barham said, and solidarity creates strength.

The minister referred to Billy Jack Gaither, a gay Sylacauga man who was beaten and burned atop a pile of tires in 1999 by two men who said he made sexual advances to them. Barham said Gaither hadn't come out of the closet, so he didn't have that solidarity behind him.

Whether that would have changed his life - and death - can't be known, but the minister suggested it might have.

Huntsville police Sgt. Mark Roberts defended Jordan's recommendation. He said although the city has fairly tolerant citizens who wouldn't abide the inhumane treatment Shepard suffered, gays and lesbians would be wise not to brandish their lifestyles in potentially dangerous places, such as bars where straight, boisterous people are drinking.

"Be smart," Roberts said. "Pick your battles and your places."

Gatlin said one of his classmates flaunts his homosexuality by talking about it constantly. Gatlin said many of the kids at school don't like him much.

But Gatlin said he's told some of his classmates about his sexual orientation, and it doesn't bother them. He said the difference comes in flaunting it or just treating it like a fact.

"I have straight guys who are my friends," he said, "but I don't go around hitting on them. If you flaunt it, you're much more likely to get beat up at school."

Barham said the prejudice and hatred gays often face would be abated if the public could see them as people - nothing more and nothing less.

"I sometimes think people think that being gay is all about sex," he said. "We have heterosexuals here. Is your life all about sex?"

The laughter in the crowd of about 100 people indicated it was not.

Even if anti-gay crimes haven't proved to be a large problem in the Huntsville area, it doesn't mean there are no anti-gay attitudes, panelists said. Gatlin said gay-bashing is the "popular, cool thing to do at school, something you do to be part of a group."

"The dorks are nice," he said.

Another question posed to the panel contemplated the community's responsibility in the treatment of gays and lesbians, be it criminal or simply unpleasant. Madison County District Attorney Tim Morgan said the obligation lay solely at citizens' feet.

"We as a community get the degree of lawlessness that we will tolerate," he said.

WEUP's Jordan followed up that with an assertion of hope.

"That tolerance is evolving."

For more information on the play, visit www.theatrehsv.org or call 536-0807. Performances start Friday, Jan. 16, and end Sat., Jan. 24.


TOPICS: Culture/Society
KEYWORDS: acceptance; homosexualagenda; tolerance
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1 posted on 01/07/2004 2:58:04 PM PST by Holly_P
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To: Holly_P
Gays want acceptance? From Me?

Dream on...AbbyNormal
2 posted on 01/07/2004 2:59:06 PM PST by antaresequity
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To: All
Here we go again folks... why not donate now and help get this fundraiser over with!
3 posted on 01/07/2004 3:01:25 PM PST by Support Free Republic (I'd rather be sleeping. Let's get this over with so I can go back to sleep!)
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To: antaresequity
I recently saw a reply to a different post regarding gay acceptance with something close to "If gays want tolerance, fine. Acceptance? Never!"

I think that pretty much sums up my own feelings. Call me homophobic but kissing another guy would make me puke.
4 posted on 01/07/2004 3:04:12 PM PST by tongue-tied
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To: Holly_P
Interesting post, Holly. In my experience, gays want much more than acceptance, they want approval.

I absolutely have less than zero interest in other people's sexual practices, and no tolerance for people who like to advertise them.
5 posted on 01/07/2004 3:05:16 PM PST by Judith Anne (Send a message to the Democrat traitors--ROCKEFELLER MUST RESIGN!)
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To: Holly_P
"We have heterosexuals here. Is your life all about sex?"

Only that part between age 14 and 48.

6 posted on 01/07/2004 3:05:45 PM PST by billorites (freepo ergo sum)
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To: Holly_P
Used to be tolerance, now they claim they need acceptance. What they really mean is the whole planet should promote it or go to jail.
7 posted on 01/07/2004 3:06:05 PM PST by Ecliptic (Keep looking to the sky)
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To: Holly_P
"I sometimes think people think that being gay is all about sex," he said. "We have heterosexuals here. Is your life all about sex?"

Nope...but then we heterosexuals don't have "straight pride" marches, sue organizations capriciously if we get excluded for reasons other than our sexual orientation, etc...etc...etc...

I accept folks being gay, but I won't accept their attempts to legitimize their way of life by taking over the heterosexual union of marriage, child rearing* and so on.

* If anyone tries to make that into a sick pun, I cannot be held responsible for my actions.

8 posted on 01/07/2004 3:07:02 PM PST by Prime Choice (Americans are a spiritual people. We're happy to help members of al Qaeda meet God.)
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To: Holly_P
Barham said the prejudice and hatred gays often face would be abated if the public could see them as people - nothing more and nothing less.

They are people. Immoral people. Like polygamists, prostituties, pornographers, strippers, adulterers, etc. Hate is being too generous. I just don't respect them at all.

If you are not free to judge someone by their behavior, then remind me again what it means to be free.

9 posted on 01/07/2004 3:07:43 PM PST by King Black Robe (With freedom of religion and speech now abridged, it is time to go after the press.)
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To: Judith Anne
I absolutely have less than zero interest in other people's sexual practices, and no tolerance for people who like to advertise them.

You said it all.

10 posted on 01/07/2004 3:13:30 PM PST by Holly_P
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To: Holly_P
Let me see:

I am gay, I spit on your conventions, on your religion on your politics.
I am gay, you are a crude brutish breeder with no clothes sense.
I am gay, I reserve the right to appear or act in public in any way that I desire whether or not it may offend or disgust you.
I am gay, if you don't accept me you are a hater.

Yep, that about covers their logic.

11 posted on 01/07/2004 3:13:49 PM PST by Mike Darancette (Proud member - Neoconservative Power Vortex)
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To: King Black Robe
Homosexuality: An Attempt at Clarity
12 posted on 01/07/2004 3:13:50 PM PST by onedoug
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To: Holly_P
Nearly all the gay people I know (and that's a good number) want nothing more than to be left alone. That's "nearly" all. There are a few who just want to push people's buttons and a few who really are predatory. The latter tend to be disproportionately loud about it, which is why the misperception sometimes takes hold that they're all devotees of restroom encounters and Castro street fairs. It isn't so.

That doesn't mean that some of them aren't dangerous - so are some straight people I know. Yes, there are gay men who prey on boys. And there are gay men who are disgusted by that and who try to stop it. It would be foolish and unfair to ignore either.

13 posted on 01/07/2004 3:15:10 PM PST by Billthedrill
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To: Holly_P
Yeah, they want acceptance into the clergy, into the Boy Scouts of America, everywhere that there's a moral code that their lifestyle is simply incompatible with. THAT the 'acceptance' problem I have with them; otherwise, as long as they're not offering up human sacrifices, having sex with goats, bush-hogging 8-year-old boys, or hitting on me in public restrooms, I personally don't care what they do in private.

But, that view pretty much covers my view of everybody, regardless of their preference of genitalia. :-)

14 posted on 01/07/2004 3:15:12 PM PST by Viking2002
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To: Holly_P

So do people with Christian values.


15 posted on 01/07/2004 3:17:04 PM PST by Caipirabob (Democrats.. Socialists..Commies..Traitors...Who can tell the difference?)
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Comment #16 Removed by Moderator

To: Holly_P
Societal acceptance, even affirmation, will not suffice.

The problem is inside.

17 posted on 01/07/2004 3:19:09 PM PST by Jim Noble
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To: Holly_P
Gays want to meet new boys and girls of younger and younger age. They are having a ball in Portland, Oregon where the steam rooms are hot and steaming with gay sex. They love get togethers with faceless "strangers in the night."

As they say in Philly, "F'daGays or is the UffDa ? . . .

18 posted on 01/07/2004 3:23:14 PM PST by ex-Texan
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To: Billthedrill
That homosexuality exists is one thing - allowing people to legitimize their pathologies is another.
19 posted on 01/07/2004 3:25:42 PM PST by 45Auto (Big holes are (almost) always better.)
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To: Mike Darancette
Don't forget:
I am gay, when I catch AIDS from my choice of perverted actions, I expect YOU to pay millions for my care, all the while criticizing YOU for not finding a cure fast enough.

I am gay, ripping off the English language words for my own uses. I invent words guaranteed to inflame the straight world, like "homophobic" which means "fear of gays" and I use it relentlessly in that context when I know full well that you are NOT in fear of me, just disgusted by my behaviour.

(rant off)
SM
20 posted on 01/07/2004 3:28:09 PM PST by Senormechanico
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