Army Joins Struggle to Save Beer

Yahoo ^ | 1/20/04

[Tumbleweed_Connection]

MOSCOW (Reuters) - Russia has sent in the army to bolster a week-long struggle to rescue 10 tons of beer trapped under Siberian ice, Itar-Tass news agency said Tuesday. A lorry carrying the beer sank when trying to cross the frozen Irtysh river, and a rescue team of six divers, 10 workers and a modified T-72 tank from the emergencies ministry have so far failed to save the load.

"The situation hasn't developed according to our ideal scenario," the deputy head of the Cherlaksky region, told the agency. Temperatures were around minus 27 degrees Celsius (minus 17 degrees Fahrenheit) in the region, near the Siberian city of Omsk and around 1,400 miles from Moscow.

A week-long effort to cut a 100 yard corridor to the river bank to pull the truck to dry land failed when the vehicle was swept away from the rescue site, Tass said.

But it said the soldiers were confident it would take them just a day to retrieve the beer.

[cjshapi]

One must set priorities, don't you agree?

[OXENinFLA]

Well, we know it's still cold.

[Spruce]

Won't the frozen beer burst the containers? Truly a tragedy.

[Publius]

They are truly doing God's work.

[GulliverSwift]

This thread is going to be fun to read later. The joke possibilities abound: Russians, alchohol, refrigeration, military drinking...

[Johnny_Cipher]

Sounds like a Jeopardy! question:

ITS ONE WAY TO GET A BILLION RUSSIANS TO VOLUNTEER.

[FlyLow]

"ummmmmm beeeer....cold beeerrrr!"
Homer Simpson

[sonofatpatcher2]

Gad! Just wait until the DemocRATs get a hold of this!

They'll lay it all at W's feet...

[Bloody Sam Roberts]

Won't the frozen beer burst the containers?

Even if it doesn't the beer will taste like drek when it is thawed out.

[Loyalist]

"The situation hasn't developed according to our ideal scenario"

If getting ten tons of ice-cold beer isn't ideal, what is?

[B Knotts]

If they're able to fetch it out, they will need to film it to use in summertime beer commercials.

[WhiteGuy]

I don't care much for foreigners...........

But this is a truly worthy struggle!

Godspeed my 12oz. friends!

[B Knotts]

Not at all. My friend accidentally partially froze a batch of cherry beer, and it actually improved it somewhat.

As long as it's protected from light, it should be OK.

[B Knotts]

Our country should offer assistance in this important effort.

Naturally, we would get some of the beer.

[dfwgator]

What if it was Vodka instead, they probably would have used tactical nukes.

[dfwgator]

Now that's a "Cold War" we can all support.

[FreedomFarmer]

Komradden: Drinkt Ice Cold Kurskbräu

Available in 1 liter, 1 lorry; and 1 atomicsubmersible sizes from Party Class VI stores.

[sirshackleton]

Blessed are the beer savers.....

[Angry Republican]

To loosely quote Ben Franklin (if anyone knows the actual quote, please let me know): "God created beer to make men's hearts happy."

[Spacemonkey1023]

Well, considering the beer (mmmmm) sank into the lake, the water is still liquid, albeit very friggin' cold. If I recall correctly, beer has a lower freezing point than water, so if the Russians do manage to pull out the brewski's, they're going to have some REAL cold ones on their hands.

[Calvin Coolidge]

No surprise that the beer brand is Bud Ice ...

[FreeInWV]

A week-long effort to cut a 100 yard corridor to the river bank to pull the truck to dry land failed when the vehicle was swept away from the rescue site

17 below

frozen river

military specialists

truck swept away???

They didn't merely clear a path. They broke up the whole river if the truck was swept away. What do you think they used to crack the ice? The tank? Explosive charges? A Hind-D?

Kinda reminds me of this Darwin nominee: http://www.darwinawards.com/personal/index_personal2002.html

[commish]

Cold-filtered for better taste!

[Seamus Mc Gillicuddy]

How cold does the water have to be in order to negatively alter the taste of the beer??

[jtminton]

What would Ted Kennedy do . . .

[husky ed]

Of course they could be up there for weeks, maybe longer depending upon how much beer was un the truck. <:8^O

[RichInOC]

Now that's what I call Natural Ice.

[T Minus Four]

It's something more like: "Beer is proof that God wants us to be happy."

[Wolfie]

The Hunt For Red Octoberfest.

[Bloody Sam Roberts]

Not at all.

Really? I've had thawed beer and it tasted nowhere close to 'up to snuff'.

Now, it is entirely possible that the integrity of the seal on the vessel was not entirely good and the brew lost something vital in the process.

[MistrX]

There was an old Bob Hope WW II comedy that involved a bunch of beer trapped in a sunken ship somewhere in the Pacific. Can't think of the title.

[Bob Buchholz]

I've got it on a t-shirt:
"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."

[Petronski]

Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. --Franklin

[B Knotts]

Could be. His was in a keg, and stayed sealed.

[Petronski]

A true beer-lover has those words etched on his soul. Have one on me!

[freeangel]

Wait a minute. This sounds more like Steeler fans trying to save a batch of Iron City from sinking in th Three Rivers area. They will do anything for a cold one--even a bad cold one.

[BJClinton]

Generally speaking, so long as the beer stays sealed AND all fermentation is complete, it shouldn't affect flavor much. However, if the beer is frozen/chilled and thawed/warmed more than once it will definately sour. So it depends on what temperature the beer has been at since bottling. If it has stayed cold since leaving the brewery, I bet it's in good shape, assuming it was good beer to begin with.

[BJClinton]

The Hunt For Red Octoberfest.

This needs to be nominated for quote of the day.

[Petronski]

Keg-19: The Partymaker

[philman_36]

Good one!

[Destro]

They are truly doing God's work. by Publius

Through trade, the Slavs, the people of Kievan Russia and the Arab Muslims, little by little got acquainted with each other. Prince Vladimir (980-1015) received these foreigners among whom were Muslim Arabs, and discussed various subjects with them including religion. During these discussions they touched on the questions of life after death, heaven, punishment for evil doers and reward for those who did good on earth, questions of God, the Invisible and the all-knowing.

Prince Vladimir's pagan faith did not know of these questions and was not able to give answers. Ancient Russian and Arab chronicles inform us that the Muslims were sending their scholars to Vladimir. They wanted very much to convert the country to Islam. The first emissaries were from the Volga.

Bolghars informed Vladimir that they had embraced Islam. The description of Paradise with its eternal blooms and houris (maidens) appealed very much to voluptuous Vladimir's imagination.

So, the Muslim Bolghers came to Vladimir and said. to him, "You are a wise prince, but you do not know a law. Adopt our religion and worship Islam."

Vladimir asked them, "what is the gist of your faith?" They answered, "We believe in one God and Mohammad His messenger teaches us not to eat pig meat or drink wine. Vladimir did not like this commandment and he said that it was not acceptable for Russia. Vladimir was not very happy about circumcision or the prohibition of alcohol. "Wine is the mirth for the Russians. We cannot be without it."

N. M. Karamzin; 'What Was Russia at that Time'; pages from 1-history of the Russian State, Kharkov, Prapor, 1990 p 67. (in Russian).