Skip to comments.Palmetto State heartbreak: Politics is a one-night stand
Posted on 01/30/2004 6:56:12 AM PST by SJackson
It's time again for South Carolina's quadrennial 15 minutes of fame, when candidates discover their Southern accents, their admiration for Jesus, their deep affection for grits and, with luck, a possible genetic link to Nat Turner.
Time, too, to dust off the camera-ready cast of local characters as the media descend.
There's Huntin' Dude, who drives a pickup with a gun rack and enjoys an occasional chaw. There's Gap-Toothed Dude, the not-too-bright boy whose Diddy's Grandiddy fought in the War of Northern Aggression and who'll give up his gun and rebel flag just as soon as the satellite trucks trundle over the hill.
Next is Angry-African-American, whose soul can't be rested because Jesse Jackson and the NAACP won't let it. Then there's plucky Southern Belle, that variously coiffed or pony-tailed SUV-driving soccer mom who has a law degree, but is a stay-at-home mom first.
And of course, there's "Tammy," the minimum-wage truck-stop/diner waitress who calls everybody "Hon" and wouldn't take nothin' for her grandbabies. She just turned 35 and wouldn't touch a welfare dollar if you slipped it into her Marlboro Lights.
That leaves White Guy, but who cares about him? Unless he's a veteran or unemployed. Gotta love those disenfranchised textile and steel workers, especially if you're John "I'm just a linthead" Edwards. And veterans are supposed to find common cause with John F. "What Botox?" Kerry, who is either for or against the war in Iraq depending, apparently, on which direction his remaining facial muscles are pointing.
Or, alternatively, Wesley Clark, the argyle general, who can't help mentioning that he is a general, not a mere lieutenant. Not that he means anything by it.
So go the leading demographic blocks, leaving a smattering of hippies, nerds, black church ladies and self-loathing Trustafarians ("So we inherited our wealth from generations of slave-holding plantation owners and textile magnates, but we hate it, o-KAY?!") to be divvied up among Howard Dean, Joe Lieberman, Al Sharpton and Dennis Kucinich.
(Excerpt) Read more at jewishworldreview.com ...
That's what I think when I see Hillary.
Not really. A debate is raging on our local board as to whether a person can vote in the Dem primary and still vote in the GOP primary later in the spring when we will be choosing a senatorial candidate.
Some people think that we should punch a chad for Al Sharpton in hope that he has enough delegates to stir the convention....maybe get to speak in primetime.
Others think we should vote for Edwards in an attempt to delay Kerry's eventual win. This makes them waste more money and keeps Kerry "running to the left".
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