Skip to comments.Janet Let the Dogs Out
Posted on 02/04/2004 4:53:18 PM PST by IronJack
So one of Janet Jacksons puppies slipped the leash during Sunday nights big Super Bowl halftime show. Offensive? Sure. Tacky? Of course. But theres nothing surprising about any of that. Tacky, tawdry, crassly sexual - those are modern-day show bizs trademarks. Complaining about a loose booby during a hip-hop pop-slop halftime show is like complaining that the floor at the car wash is wet. MTV-style music is nothing but soft-core porn these days. Why would the Super Bowl be any different?
And spare me the anguish expressed on behalf of the children. First of all, its not children making a big deal out of this. They probably didnt even notice. I dont think theres much reason to protect anyone from Janet Jacksons chubbly. Children can see that much flesh in an advertisement for Tomb Raider. Cosmopolitan has more cleavage displayed on its cover. Any child going through a grocery store line has probably seen more skin than a Beverly Hills plastic surgeon.
They see it every day in electronic games, music videos, magazine advertisements, and the hallways at school. Half-naked pre-teens are the status quo these days, now that Madonna and Britney Spears are tonsil wrestling on live TV and Bono is cussin like a drongo in a Belfast bar. If thats okay, how is Janets mad flash wrong?
If networks are willing to air this crotch-grinding pole-dance 364 days out of the year, it cant be any more appalling just because its done during a football game. Hell, the cheerleaders were probably scribbling notes so they could incorporate some of the moves into their sideline routines. Sex certainly isnt anything new during football games. Cheerleaders dont wear those short skirts to keep their buns warm.
Its always amazing to me that its amazing to Americans when theyre confronted with the evidence of the nations debauchery, as if they had just discovered that [gasp!] pop culture is a degraded wasteland of superficiality, cheap eroticism, and gutter morals! Do tell! You mean Britney Spears isnt a virgin, she just plays one on TV?? You cant just wake up one morning and discover morality.
If youre going to protect children from Janet Jacksons boob-boo, why arent you equally concerned about protecting them from P Diddy? Or Snoop Doggy Dogg? Or Tupac Shakurs ghost? Smut doesnt just drop trou on stage at the Super Bowl. It permeates modern society from infancy onward. Its art when Karen Finley strips naked and writhes around on stage. The Vagina Monologues are art. Piss Christ is art. Why should Janet Jacksons strip show be any less art just because its not funded by the NEA?
Maybe Im just a prude but I see it every day, so seeing one more example of it doesnt upset me much. From the time they were pubescent, the Jacksons have risen to fame on androgynous sexuality. Not the cooing, seductive sensuality of thinly clad models selling Chevies, but the overt, wanna-hump coarseness of a half-drunk waterfront hooker. This is just the latest page in a family scrapbook of marketable sleaze.
Should you be upset? Sure! But if youre going to get mad, get mad over the right things. Get mad about the strip shows on VH1 airing nonstop daily. Get mad about filth expounded by loudmouth punks like Eminem and Ludicris. Get mad about cuddlesluts like Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera, sirens of nubile sexuality who exude pheromones so thick theyd fog your glasses.
Get mad that your culture is being hijacked by pimps like Jack Valenti and Rob Reiner. Get mad that rudeness and coarseness are the hallmarks of todays social intercourse, and that the wrong word in a ticket line can get you shot. Get mad that Howard Stern isnt even shocking anymore, and that were already looking for new lows to plumb. There are architects of this decline, people who have actively labored for decades to decompose the bonds of decency.
Get mad at them.
It didnt happen overnight. Its been a steady rot, like a leak in the attic, slowly eating out the substance of our national conscience until were so inured to depravity that Sundays raunchy choreography would seem like a good idea to the same entertainment megalith that used to keep Dick Van Dyke and Mary Tyler Moore in separate beds.
From the gutter humor of Lenny Bruce to the drug-addled stage shows of Jim Morrison, the cheap scat laughs of Eddie Murphy and Chris Rock, from Springfield to South Park, from sea to shining sea, the nation has been awash in cultural sewage for half a century. Our idiom has decayed from the flowing rhetoric of Emerson to the broken-glass vocal abrasions of Godsmack. Vulgarity is the order of the day, whether conversing in a restaurant or closing a sales deal. Bodily functions that used to be of interest only to proctologists are now the stuff of standup routines. And Im supposed to get the vapors over this???
Frankly, I find it hard to be offended by the sight of one booger in a bathtub full of snot.
The grossest offense is that the media elitists who concoct such rubbish thought so little of me as to think this chintzy, flashpot-spangled grind would entertain me. It might have if Id been marooned on Gilligans Island for half a century, or if I was a member of the rubber sheet crowd. But I havent been, and Im not. Nor, I suspect, were any of the millions of viewers who retched at the site of boy bimbo Justin Timberlake and a fading giggle mistress copulating vertically in between ads for car insurance. This was as catastrophic a misread of viewer demographics as The Reagans, just one more example of CBSs inability to keep its dogs at heel.
Whether they knew Janet was going to expose herself or not, CBSs people definitely knew the halftime pageant had the flavor of a Bourbon Street strip joint minus the cigar smoke. Yet nobody said a word, and had Ms. Jacksons headlight not flashed, its not likely anyone would have. CBS would have just taken it for granted. And started planning for next years Super Bowl, which will feature Madonna and Cher Jello wrestling in a firepit of half-naked Nubian dwarves.
Agreed...and mental anguish. Just thinking about piercing myself like that gives me the shudders....eeewww.
And therein lies the tragedy. Vulgarity is so pervasive they don't notice.
For more reasons than one ...
Piercing? It wasn't pierced.
Huh? That site is for a local radio show. Scroll down some.
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