Pilot in Hot Water for Allegedly Using Plane as Flying Pulpit

Talon News / GOP USA ^ | Feb. 10, 2004 | Jeremy Reynalds

[Modernman]

BTW, read modernman's 'about' page. It's very enlightening. The quotes are very much anti-conservative, and if they're tongue-in-cheek, it looks to be for the purpose of discrediting conservatives.

Yes. I'm an evil genius. You are the first one to figure it out. To the average reader, the quotes on my profile page are funny lines about politics, Republicans and Democrats from a popular television show. However, when one looks deeper, you end up realizing that they're part of a sinister plot to snare unsuspecting FReepers and to plant the seed of doubt. They end up thinking, "Gee, if Sideshow Bob makes fun of Republicans, well, that must mean conservative views have been discredited".

MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Fools, you are all falling under my spell! It's too late for you, you've read my profile page and there is no going back. Thank you, jim35, for telling more FReepers to read my profile page. You are, in fact, helping my evil plan.

End Transmission.

[jim35]

"...Give it a rest jim. Frankly, your combination of self-righteousness and self-proclaimed intelligence makes for lousy debate. And as for ad hominem, I don't see anyone else on this thread making accusations about "DU trolls."..."

I'd ask you to do the same, and it would be much easier for you to give it a rest, since you have many supporters who share your point of view. But since I'm the only supporter of this poor pilot, I think I won't give it a rest. As for accusations, I simply ask that you read the 'about' page, and come to your own conclusions. It certainly does raise suspicions. It's not like there aren't trolls here, and it's a common tactic for them to keep a membership for several months... if you'd go to the DU and look, they freely admit it, and boast about having months-old memberships, just to keep from getting zapped. If I'm wrong, I'm sorry, but I'm sure as heck suspicious.

[Bluntpoint]

I just read your profile page. This Homer and all his friends, commies?

Just what is in all those Squishees your commie friends drink?

I see you left out Smithers! He seems like a straight shooter. How did he get mixed up with your "comrades."

You are so ZOTTED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[jim35]

"...Thank you, jim35, for telling more FReepers to read my profile page. You are, in fact, helping my evil plan..."

Drat! You fiend! Tell me, where have you taken little Nell? If I'm wrong, I apologize, but those quotes look very tilted toward spoofing the Right, rather than lampooning the Left.

[atlaw]

Conspiracy Central wishes to express its deep disappointment with your confession. The secret handshake has been changed, and you will be expected to turn over your key to the "sinister plot dungeon" prior to the next meeting.

[Modernman]

This Homer and all his friends, commies?

So I've heard. Keep it under your hat.

[Modernman]

Conspiracy Central wishes to express its deep disappointment with your confession. The secret handshake has been changed, and you will be expected to turn over your key to the "sinister plot dungeon" prior to the next meeting.

Don't worry about it. I'll make sure that anyone who has read these posts undergoes a thorough mind-wipe and/or is abducted by "aliens" and given an exhaustive (and exhausting) probing.

This, of course, includes you. Do you prefer a mind-wipe or a probing?

[Bluntpoint]

You are trying to pull me into your web. I will not hide your transgressions under my hat.

Like all the others here who know you by your profile page, I prefer to keep nothing under my hat!

[Bluntpoint]

Please wipe after all probes.

[Modernman]

I have an open-script policy when it comes to Simpsons political quotes. I'm happy to take submissions from any FReeper who has a good Simpsons quote.

Maybe it is time to update my profile page to make it "fair and balanced."

[Modernman]

Like all the others here who know you by your profile page, I prefer to keep nothing under my hat!

Good one.

[Bluntpoint]

Homer Humor on Beer, Food and TV

The strong must protect the Sweet.

Oh no! What have I done? I smashed open my little boy's piggy bank, and for what? A few measly cents, not even enough to buy one beer. Wait a minute, lemme count and make sure... not even close.

Television! Teacher, mother, secret lover.

Homer no function beer well without.

When will I learn? The answer to life's problems aren't at the bottom of a bottle, they're on TV!

Son, when you participate in sporting events, it's not whether you win or lose: it's how drunk you get.

Homer on Family

I'm going to the back seat of my car, with the woman I love, and I won't be back for ten minutes!

[Meeting Aliens] Please don't eat me! I have a wife and kids. Eat them!

What do we need a psychiatrist for? We know our kid is nuts.

Marge, you're as beautiful as Princess Leia and as smart as Yoda.

Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.

The only monster here is the gambling monster that has enslaved your mother! I call him Gamblor, and it's time to snatch your mother from his neon claws!

When I look at the smiles on all the children's faces, I just know they're about to jab me with something.

Homer on Religion

I'm normally not a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me Superman.

I'm having the best day of my life, and I owe it all to not going to Church!

Lisa, if the Bible has taught us nothing else, and it hasn't, it's that girls should stick to girls sports, such as hot oil wrestling and foxy boxing and such and such.

I'm not a bad guy! I work hard, and I love my kids. So why should I spend half my Sunday hearing about how I'm going to Hell?

Homer on Life and his 'Wisdom'

Getting out of jury duty is easy. The trick is to say you're prejudiced against all races.

It's not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I managed to fit in eight hours of TV a day.

Lisa, Vampires are make-believe, like elves, gremlins, and eskimos.

I want to share something with you: The three little sentences that will get you through life. Number 1: Cover for me. Number 2: Oh, good idea, Boss! Number 3: It was like that when I got here.

Oh, people can come up with statistics to prove anything, Kent. 14% of people know that.

Remember that postcard Grandpa sent us from Florida of that Alligator biting that woman's bottom? That's right, we all thought it was hilarious. But, it turns out we were wrong. That alligator was sexually harrassing that woman.

Old people don't need companionship. They need to be isolated and studied so it can be determined what nutrients they have that might be extracted for our personal use.

How is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive?

I've always wondered if there was a god. And now I know there is -- and it's me.

Homer on Work

Kill my boss? Do I dare live out the American dream?

If something goes wrong at the plant, blame the guy who can't speak English.

I'm never going to be disabled. I'm sick of being so healthy.

Classic D'Oh! Homerisms

Operator! Give me the number for 911!

Oh, so they have internet on computers now!

I like my beer cold, my TV loud and my homosexuals flaming.

[Looking at a globe map...country being Uruguay]
Hee hee! Look at this country!'You are gay.'

Bart, with $10,000, we'd be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like...love!

[swarthyguy]

Egads. You've been called a DU troll with LEFTIST quotes from subversive cartoon characters that seek to undermine the American way of Life.

I refuse to look at your profile page.

My vital essences will not be corrupted by the likes of you.

[Bluntpoint]

He is a typical liberal welfare type, expecting all of us to carry his sorry arse!!!

[jim35]

Well, you'll all no doubt be happy to hear that A.A. is taking this evildoer seriously, and laying down the law. Yessir, a big investigation is in the offing, to smack down the perpetrator of this vile deed! Someone pop a cork! We got him for "breach of privacy!" Apparently, this is "deeply troubling!"


AA chief apologizes for pilot's comments on Christianity

02:59 PM CST on Friday, February 13, 2004


Associated Press



FORT WORTH - The chief executive of American Airlines has apologized after a pilot suggested that non-Christian passengers on a recent flight discuss the faith with Christians.

Gerard Arpey said the airline has grounded the pilot with pay while executives investigate the incident.

Arpey said he apologized to anyone who was offended by the pilot's comments on a flight from Los Angeles to New York.

"Let me assure you that we take this very seriously and are conducting a thorough investigation,"...

...He said American Airlines "promotes an environment of respect for the diversity of all persons, regardless of religion, race, ethnicity, disability,...ect

...had written to Arpey that religious belief is a personal matter and the pilot had breached the privacy of passengers... "deeply troubling."

"...The airline said the Washington-based pilot asked passengers on the Feb. 7 flight to raise their hands if they were Christian..."

The pilot did not respond to an e-mail request for an interview.

[Modernman]

My vital essences will not be corrupted by the likes of you.

Bah! Your bodily fluids are already ours. Why do you think we flouridate the water?

[Bluntpoint]

I like the stewardesses on the Hari Krishna Airline.