Posted on 02/13/2004 10:40:04 AM PST by Vitamin A
Today I sent this letter to the mayor and clerk of San Francisco. It's my way of waging a humorous protest against their less-than-humorous issuance of marriage licenses to homosexual couples in defiance of state law. Please read the letter completely and carefully (the punch line is at the end).
February 13, 2004
Mayor Gavin Newsom Clerk Nancy Alfaro City Hall, Room 168 1 Dr. Carlton B. Goodlett Place San Francisco, CA 94102
Dear Mayor Newsom and Clerk Alfaro,
Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Corky St. Clair and I live with my companion of 15 years, Billy, in a beautiful neighborhood in Orange County zoned for equestrian uses. Yesterday tears of joy filled my eyes as I heard the news reports that you had boldly and defiantly issued marriage licenses to non-heterosexual couples. I was so moved by the Mayors courage in adopting a new interpretation of the state constitution which allows for non-heterosexual marriagesomething that even our state supreme court has refused to dobased on equal protection. Its about time we had brave leaders like Mayor Newsom who are willing to give legal effect to their personal interpretation of equal protection, instead of waiting for the states elected leaders and courts to do so!
Billy and I have been waiting for 15 years for the government to acknowledge that all loving relationships are equal and deserving of protection under law. For too long Billy and I have endured the pain of harsh stares coming from people when they see us expressing our affection for each other in public. I guess they just dont understand that love can come in many different shapes and forms and colors and flavors, if you will. For Billy and I, our relationship may seem abnormal or even freakish to some folks (especially here in a more conservative rural-type setting!), but we know its whats in our hearts that counts.
I am writing to ask you to send Billy and me information about how we can apply for a marriage license in San Francisco, so that our deep and loving relationship can be legally sanctioned at long last. We also respectfully request that Mayor Newsom personally perform the ceremony, as we feel that only someone as bold and brave as he can do so. Our personal information for the marriage license is as follows:
Name: Corky William St. Clair; Birthdate: Feb. 14, 1965; Birthplace: Barstow, California; Age: 39; Hair: Dirty blonde; Eyes: Hazel; Height: 5 11; Weight: 175.
Billy (its just Billy, no last name); Birthdate: July 7, 1985; Birthplace: Barstow, California; Age: 18; Hair: Chestnut brown; Eyes: Mocha; Height: 3 1; Weight: 63 lbs. By the way, Billy is a buck dairy goat, but I trust that wont disqualify us for marriage eligibility under Mayor Newsoms new definition of equal protection.
Sincerely,
Corky St. Clair
Owl_Eagle
Guns Before Butter.
"Here comes the bride..."
I can't decide...would PETA be in favor or against this? (It's probably OK with them, as long as the animal isn't eaten.)
More nonsense from the "most socially enlightened country in the world"!
LOL
I have a few bucks. One of them really does love me.
...at least it wasn't a chicken...
Or else they'd have to hire a nanny.
Keep yer friends close...
and yer soulvlaki closer!
I think ewe have mixed up goats and sheep.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.