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Bestiality Marriage Application for San Fran Mayor
Self | Februrary 13, 2004 | Self

Posted on 02/13/2004 10:40:04 AM PST by Vitamin A

Today I sent this letter to the mayor and clerk of San Francisco. It's my way of waging a humorous protest against their less-than-humorous issuance of marriage licenses to homosexual couples in defiance of state law. Please read the letter completely and carefully (the punch line is at the end).

February 13, 2004

Mayor Gavin Newsom Clerk Nancy Alfaro City Hall, Room 168 1 Dr. Carlton B. Goodlett Place San Francisco, CA 94102

Dear Mayor Newsom and Clerk Alfaro,

Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Corky St. Clair and I live with my companion of 15 years, Billy, in a beautiful neighborhood in Orange County zoned for equestrian uses. Yesterday tears of joy filled my eyes as I heard the news reports that you had boldly and defiantly issued marriage licenses to non-heterosexual couples. I was so moved by the Mayor’s courage in adopting a new interpretation of the state constitution which allows for non-heterosexual marriage—something that even our state supreme court has refused to do—based on “equal protection.” It’s about time we had brave leaders like Mayor Newsom who are willing to give legal effect to their personal interpretation of “equal protection,” instead of waiting for the state’s elected leaders and courts to do so!

Billy and I have been waiting for 15 years for the government to acknowledge that all loving relationships are equal and deserving of protection under law. For too long Billy and I have endured the pain of harsh stares coming from people when they see us expressing our affection for each other in public. I guess they just don’t understand that love can come in many different shapes and forms and colors and flavors, if you will. For Billy and I, our relationship may seem abnormal or even freakish to some folks (especially here in a more conservative rural-type setting!), but we know its what’s in our hearts that counts.

I am writing to ask you to send Billy and me information about how we can apply for a marriage license in San Francisco, so that our deep and loving relationship can be legally sanctioned at long last. We also respectfully request that Mayor Newsom personally perform the ceremony, as we feel that only someone as bold and brave as he can do so. Our personal information for the marriage license is as follows:

Name: Corky William St. Clair; Birthdate: Feb. 14, 1965; Birthplace: Barstow, California; Age: 39; Hair: Dirty blonde; Eyes: Hazel; Height: 5’ 11”; Weight: 175.

Billy (it’s just Billy, no last name); Birthdate: July 7, 1985; Birthplace: Barstow, California; Age: 18; Hair: Chestnut brown; Eyes: Mocha; Height: 3’ 1”; Weight: 63 lbs. By the way, Billy is a buck dairy goat, but I trust that won’t disqualify us for marriage eligibility under Mayor Newsom’s new definition of “equal protection.”

Sincerely,

Corky St. Clair


TOPICS: Constitution/Conservatism; Culture/Society; Government; News/Current Events; Political Humor/Cartoons; US: California
KEYWORDS: adamandeve; hillarypork; homosexualagenda; notadamandsteve
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To: Agnes Heep
That's b-a-a-a-a-a-aaad!
21 posted on 02/13/2004 10:58:17 AM PST by steveo (Alwyas use you're spell checkor)
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To: Vitamin A

A GOAT???  GROSS!!!
 
I thought Billy was going to be a horse.

 

Owl_Eagle

”Guns Before Butter.”

22 posted on 02/13/2004 10:59:42 AM PST by End Times Sentinel (Memories by default...if I can't remember them, surely they were memorable!)
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To: Vitamin A
PETA ain't gonna stand for this.
23 posted on 02/13/2004 11:01:59 AM PST by microgood (Gollum.....Middle Earth's first lawyer.)
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To: Vitamin A

"Here comes the bride..."

24 posted on 02/13/2004 11:02:01 AM PST by BookmanTheJanitor
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To: Lorianne
Animal sex is not illegal in Sweden, and every year between 200 and 300 pets are injured because of sexual assaults.

I can't decide...would PETA be in favor or against this? (It's probably OK with them, as long as the animal isn't eaten.)

More nonsense from the "most socially enlightened country in the world"!

25 posted on 02/13/2004 11:05:40 AM PST by 50sDad (OK, I give in. Visit my website! http://my.oh.voyager.net/~abartmes)
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To: 50sDad
As long as your pet hamster gives consent, I'm sure PETA would be A-OK with it.
26 posted on 02/13/2004 11:07:40 AM PST by Lorianne
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To: Vitamin A

LOL

27 posted on 02/13/2004 11:09:05 AM PST by SAMWolf (Incontinence Hotline, please hold.)
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To: Vitamin A
I hope you don't think this is the first or only one they got!! I bet they have been getting them for years. At least yours wasn't serious!
28 posted on 02/13/2004 11:09:15 AM PST by SpinyNorman
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To: Vitamin A
Rush is talking about these so-called marriages today....he is doing an excellent job.
29 posted on 02/13/2004 11:10:19 AM PST by Lady Eileen
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To: Vitamin A
ROFLOL
30 posted on 02/13/2004 11:12:32 AM PST by dougherty (I saw the angel in the marble and carved until I set him free. -Michelangelo)
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To: Vitamin A; B Knotts
By the way, Billy is a buck dairy goat

I have a few bucks. One of them really does love me.

31 posted on 02/13/2004 11:12:50 AM PST by MarMema
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To: Brad's Gramma; glock rocks
Ping
32 posted on 02/13/2004 11:15:38 AM PST by EdReform (Support Free Republic - All donations are greatly appreciated. Thank you for your support!)
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To: Vitamin A

The Bride of Clintonstein

33 posted on 02/13/2004 11:15:41 AM PST by Free ThinkerNY (((Be Kind to Animals)))
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To: Vitamin A
The goat lies!
34 posted on 02/13/2004 11:16:48 AM PST by Drango (Liberals give me a rash that even penicillin can't cure.)
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To: Free ThinkerNY; Mo1; Grampa Dave
LOL!
35 posted on 02/13/2004 11:17:22 AM PST by EdReform (Support Free Republic - All donations are greatly appreciated. Thank you for your support!)
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To: Vitamin A
...uhh...well...good luck.

...at least it wasn't a chicken...

36 posted on 02/13/2004 11:24:14 AM PST by Khurkris (Ranger On...)
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To: Agnes Heep
I guess marrying a goat is okay, as long as you don't have kids.

Or else they'd have to hire a nanny.

37 posted on 02/13/2004 11:24:27 AM PST by Jonah Hex (Another day, another DU troll.)
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To: EdReform; Gabz; Fawnn; justshe; nicmarlo; NormsRevenge; steveegg; Just another Joe; ...
LOL! Goat? Ha ha ha ha ha

Keep yer friends close...

and yer soulvlaki closer!

38 posted on 02/13/2004 11:35:55 AM PST by glock rocks (Free Mark Martin !)
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To: Constitution Day
That is baaaad.

I think ewe have mixed up goats and sheep.

39 posted on 02/13/2004 11:38:46 AM PST by cinFLA
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To: cinFLA
You're just trying to get my goat, aren't you?
40 posted on 02/13/2004 11:42:09 AM PST by Constitution Day
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