Poor pulling Canada down the drain

National Post Online ^ | February 14, 2004 | Statz Stinx

[quantim]

VANCOUVER • Findings in a new Phaser Institute study suggest it might be time to stop feeling sorry for the poor and start getting angry at them. The report claims that the underclass are not only responsible for creating the country's crushing debt, they are also dragging down the average standard of living of each and every Canadian.

Institute director Michael (Sky) Walker stated, "Our sophistic macro-economic research shows that if poor people were rich, they would contribute more to national economic output and increase government revenues." The result would be a substantially higher federal revenues without the need to increase tax rates, claimed Skywalker.

Rectal-linear regressive analysis of Statistics Canada data from the last 20 years provides compelling evidence that if only half of poor people had been rich during that period, Canada would be debt-free today. "The irrefutable conclusion from our research," Walker said, "is that poor people were to blame for our national debt spiralling out of control."

Walker explained how this problem affects our country's standard of living. "It is statistically significant that if the poor got off their lazy asses and earned a lot more money, the average income of all Canadians would increase dramatically."

In closing, Walker noted that there is a simple solution to this problem-- radically lower income tax rates for high earners. He said this will "encourage more poor people to be rich."

[quantim]

"It is statistically significant that if the poor got off their lazy asses and earned a lot more money, the average income of all Canadians would increase dramatically."

You've got to love this.

[Paleo Conservative]

Rectal-linear regressive analysis of Statistics Canada data from the last 20 years provides compelling evidence that if only half of poor people had been rich during that period, Canada would be debt-free today.

[quantim]

Rectal-linear regressive analysis

You've REALLY got to love this, it stymies Google.

[Paleo Conservative]

Rectal-linear regressive analysis

You've REALLY got to love this, it stymies Google.

I think I'll ping Doctor Stochastic.

[Lancey Howard]

Satire like this is funny because there is some truth behind it.
Personally, I don't care what the poor do. I just don't want their filthy paws (actually, the filthy paws of the scumbag politicians they vote for) reaching into my wallet and stealing my money.

[Ernest_at_the_Beach]

ROFL!

[NewRomeTacitus]

I am so tired of these Cannucks coming down here taking up barstools, speaking unintelligably and drinking beer Americans are too lazy to drink. No matter how good the football game is they act like hockey is God's gift to sports. Why can't they get a grip and wait their turn for chemotherapy like good Canadians? Constant complaining will not garner them support from the liberals if their body parts keep falling into the snack dip.

[quantim]

Has there been a brain-drain in Canada, or what?

I doubt that, more like that 'creeping, insidious' socialism that seems to permeate cultures that are on the cusp of freedom.  The northern border and southern unimaginably different, illegal aliens speaking that is.  There are Canadians everywhere here in Michigan (including the governor) and come here as productive, professional, and eventual legal citizens.

[quantim]

speaking unintelligably and drinking beer Americans are too lazy to drink.

Play nice now!  Maybe there is a reason they go down there and not here.  :-)

[Dan Evans]

I was wondering if the National Post got hacked and then I noticed the odd address:

http://www.nationalpost.8m.com/news303.htm

It's a satire site.

[quantim]

It's a satire site.

The copyright, "Post copy ultra-right. All right-wingers revered..." a pretty good giveaway.  But what the heck, the continent is frozen solid, feet of snow, no groundhogs in sight, zero degrees outside, its 3:30 a.m. and the broadband is screaming hot from low resistance in the optic fiber.  What's a person to do?

[revtown]

LOL: Its not the rich who don't pay there fair share or the big evil Corruptions that avoid taxes.

" ITS the POOR.. "

I haven't even heard Rush or Savage say this. But maybe they say it more subtley.

But how to get something as unPC as this onto the Nat'l news?

[revtown]

OOPs my bad.. Now I notice that its a satire sight..

But there is some truth here..

[greasepaint]

How fast can Canexians push a lawn mower?
g.

[tkathy]

What the dims on the left don't understand is that money is NEVER the problem. The poor are poor because of vast disasterous social problems.

[jla]

^

[LibKill]

It's a trick to gull us poor yankees into slumber whilst they plot against us!

DO NOT TRUST THEM! (Will open in new window.)

[bimbo]

"It is statistically significant that if the poor got off their lazy asses and earned a lot more money, the average income of all Canadians would increase dramatically."

This is what we heard in America in the mid ‘60s – before Johnson’s “War on Poverty” empoverished many more of us. Here we are – 40 years older and $trillions poorer – and the only thing that has changed is that “poverty” and “welfare” are no longer discussed. I hope Canadians are able to avoid the same fate.

[Lonesome in Massachussets]

An obvious parody. It's borders on unintentional autoparody, in that it contains more truth than the sophistry it masquerades as.

[verity]

Rectal-linear regressive analysis

Sounds like the San Francisco model. :~)

[lawdude]

""It is statistically significant that if the poor got off their lazy asses and earned a lot more money, the average income of all Canadians would increase dramatically.""

I would love to see the calculations he went through to conclude this. Where is the proof?