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John Kerry faces hand-shaking ban
Reuters ^ | March 29, 2004

Posted on 03/29/2004 8:05:08 PM PST by Shermy

WASHINGTON (Reuters) - U.S. Democratic presidential candidate John Kerry, who will undergo minor shoulder surgery on Wednesday, faces a politician's worst nightmare while recovering -- no shaking hands.

"I think initially we'll have him avoid handshaking," said Dr. Bertram Zarins, who will perform the outpatient surgery at Boston's Massachusetts General Hospital.

"But as he feels the strength improving, and when he tries to shake a hand if it doesn't hurt, then I think it's alright for him to do it," he said in a conference call with reporters.

Kerry, who will challenge President George W. Bush in November, hurt the sub-scapularis tendon in his right shoulder when he braced himself for an abrupt bus stop while campaigning in Iowa in January.

After the 45-minute surgery Kerry will be in a sling for a day or two, Zarins said, and is scheduled to be back on the road early next week. But he will have to be careful when tending to the typical campaign duty of shaking hands.

"It's not going to be an absolute avoidance. I think within two or three weeks he'll be shaking hands, but there may be a limit to how many hours he can do it," Zarins said.

But he said there was little chance that a vigorous well-wisher could re-injure the shoulder with a hearty shake.

"I don't think so, I think if this happens it will be from too much handshaking, not from one hand shake," he said. "So if the shoulder starts getting sore he'll just have to back off."


TOPICS: Front Page News; News/Current Events; Political Humor/Cartoons
KEYWORDS: 2004; kerry; shouldersurgery
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I'm not a doctor but...

and this injury hasn't impeded his biking, skiing, snowboarding, etc. etc.

1 posted on 03/29/2004 8:05:09 PM PST by Shermy
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To: Shermy
In photos, I've noticed Kerry has 2 hands.

Of course, I suppose shaking lefty could subliminally turn people off.
2 posted on 03/29/2004 8:06:30 PM PST by HarryCaul
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To: Shermy
Too bad the surgery wasn't on his mouth.
3 posted on 03/29/2004 8:08:31 PM PST by Brett66
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To: HarryCaul
"Of course, I suppose shaking lefty could subliminally turn people off."

Well...it hasn't so far.....:)
4 posted on 03/29/2004 8:08:48 PM PST by Salamander
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To: Shermy
Bob Dole was a real war hero. He used his left hand turned upside down when he shook hands during his presidential campaign.
5 posted on 03/29/2004 8:09:52 PM PST by bayourod (We can depend on Scary Kerry's imaginary foreign leaders to protect us from terrorists.)
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To: bayourod
I had the experience, he had definitely gotten adept at it.
6 posted on 03/29/2004 8:12:06 PM PST by mvpel (Michael Pelletier)
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To: Shermy
"I think initially we'll have him avoid handshaking," said Dr. Bertram Zarins, who will perform the outpatient surgery at Boston's Massachusetts General Hospital.

Translation: Hand-shaking is bad for Botox injections.

7 posted on 03/29/2004 8:12:38 PM PST by Azzurri
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To: HarryCaul
Bob Dole had a bad arm from being wounded in COMBAT, and he never begged off shaking hands. Maybe Kerry thinks he's going to catch something, like commoners disease, or worse yet Aids.
8 posted on 03/29/2004 8:12:48 PM PST by kylaka (The Clintons are the democRATS crack cocaine. They know they're bad for them, they just can't stop.)
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To: Shermy
Excuse my French. What an F'ing whimp!
9 posted on 03/29/2004 8:13:58 PM PST by The South Texan (The Democrat Party and the leftist (ABCCBSNBCCNN NYLATIMES)media are a criminal enterprise!)
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To: Shermy
...hurt the sub-scapularis tendon in his right shoulder when he braced himself for an abrupt bus stop while campaigning in Iowa....

Must have happened when the DNC threw Howard Dean under the Kerry bus.

10 posted on 03/29/2004 8:14:17 PM PST by tbeatty (Aprile)
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To: Shermy
But he said there was little chance that a vigorous well-wisher could re-injure the shoulder with a hearty shake.

Given Kerry's "inspirational" speaking style and inability to stir up any real passion in the Dem base, I doubt he has to worry about any vigorous supporters.

11 posted on 03/29/2004 8:18:55 PM PST by mikrofon (JF'nK == Don of the Dead)
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To: Shermy
Couple of thoughts: First, does anyone find it interesting that Kerry has to have surgery right after his "I don't fall down" skiboarding trip? Second, I notice that a ban on shaking never stopped Janet Reno (rimshot).

BTW, Kerry is a heck of a lot more fragile than they're letting on. Aside from being a head case, he's got some kind of serious physical ailment.

12 posted on 03/29/2004 8:19:40 PM PST by Richard Kimball
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To: Shermy
Kerry should just get a stunt double handshaker.

I vote for Ted Kennedy.

Can't wait to see him on a snowboard.

13 posted on 03/29/2004 8:20:58 PM PST by smoothsailing (Eagles Up !!!!!)
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To: Shermy
Real reason is... Kerry got sweaty palms nobody wants to shake his hand!... drum roll please
14 posted on 03/29/2004 8:22:50 PM PST by KingNo155
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To: Shermy
Just gives Kerry an excuse not to sully his hands by touching the serfs.
15 posted on 03/29/2004 8:23:15 PM PST by Samwise (I am going to need to be sedated before this election is over.)
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To: Richard Kimball
BTW, Kerry is a heck of a lot more fragile than they're letting on. Aside from being a head case, he's got some kind of serious physical ailment.

I wouldn't be surprised if this guy has to step aside in the summer due to health concerns, paving the way for Ms Rodham to enter the fray.

16 posted on 03/29/2004 8:26:38 PM PST by Azzurri
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To: Shermy
Re: "I think initially we'll have him avoid handshaking," said Dr. Bertram Zarins, who will perform the outpatient surgery at Boston's Massachusetts General Hospital.

Well, we will have to stop calling him a wanker for a few days...

17 posted on 03/29/2004 8:32:50 PM PST by sonofatpatcher2 (Love & a .45-- What more could you want, campers? };^)
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To: Shermy
Gee.

Now he has a real authentic excuse for not touching the little people.

Becki

18 posted on 03/29/2004 8:32:56 PM PST by Becki (Pray continually for our leaders and our troops!)
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To: Brett66
Oh, non, non! Having him open his mouth early and often is the best thing for the Bush campaign.
19 posted on 03/29/2004 8:33:14 PM PST by cinnathepoet (Directly, I am going to Caesar's funeral)
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To: cinnathepoet
Must've been all the ball throwing he did.
20 posted on 03/29/2004 8:35:15 PM PST by Dallas59
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To: Richard Kimball
" Couple of thoughts: First, does anyone find it interesting that Kerry has to have surgery right after his "I don't fall down" skiboarding trip?
BTW, Kerry is a heck of a lot more fragile than they're letting on. "

Not only that,but Kerry fell on his first night in Idaho-in a mini mart, where he stopped for water.
Why he couldn't wait until he got to the mansion ( a 90 minute drive ), why he didn't send in his butler( he has one,he was named in the NYT article ) and why the private jet didn't give him a bottle to go-is anyone's guess.

If President Bush had slipped and fallen in a mini mart-we would be seeing the security camera video 24/7.Wonder who got that ??
And as for Kerry hurting " the sub-scapularis tendon in his right shoulder when he braced himself for an abrupt bus stop while campaigning in Iowa in January. "

That must have been one hell of a brace.Or one fragile old guy.
I bet he fell somewhere else.
The medical chronology is extremely fishy.
Kerry's new campaign slogan should be " Help, I've Fallen and I Can't Get Up. "
21 posted on 03/29/2004 8:35:41 PM PST by Wild Irish Rogue
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To: kylaka
brings up an interesting thought. I wonder if any
of his war wounds required that he desist from something
as strenuous as hand-shaking?
22 posted on 03/29/2004 8:38:07 PM PST by smonk
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To: Becki
LOL!

besides "Eewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!! They're
diiiiiiiiiiiiirrrrrrrrrrrrrrrty, teresa !!!"

[and THAT sonafoabitch knocked me down!]
23 posted on 03/29/2004 8:39:40 PM PST by smonk
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To: Richard Kimball
Right arm???

March 25

March 23

March 20


24 posted on 03/29/2004 8:39:50 PM PST by Shermy
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To: Shermy
Somehow...Just SOMEHOW he is going to get another Purple Heart for this...
25 posted on 03/29/2004 8:40:54 PM PST by Syncro
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To: Shermy

Hello Mr. Kerry - I'd like to shake your hand...and no - I don't care which one...

26 posted on 03/29/2004 8:44:17 PM PST by Tennessee_Bob (LORD, WHAT CAN THE HARVEST HOPE FOR, IF NOT FOR THE CARE OF THE REAPER MAN?)
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To: Shermy
Maybe this will provide sKerry the opportunity to escape this fantasy world he's living in (I'm gonna be the next POTUS), and go back to his day job. You know, representing the people of MA in the Senate?
27 posted on 03/29/2004 8:51:47 PM PST by upchuck (I am upchuck and I approved this message because... well, just because.)
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To: Shermy
He wishes he could Snowboard as well as this six year old...


28 posted on 03/29/2004 8:56:53 PM PST by Syncro
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To: Shermy
This guy is as queer as a three dollar bill. A pathetic creature. He and Toon should share the same bedroom in Kerry's $.7m house in DC. They could get to know each other and, "share their each's obligatory pain." Yuck.
29 posted on 03/29/2004 8:57:34 PM PST by Cobra64 (Babes should wear Bullet Bras - www.BulletBras.net)
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To: Shermy
Maybe instead of shaking hands they can train him to lay down and roll over!
30 posted on 03/29/2004 9:06:16 PM PST by arly
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To: Richard Kimball
Just curious, Richard ... is there something about Kerry that your photographer's eyes see?
31 posted on 03/29/2004 9:17:41 PM PST by Pegita ('Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus, just to take Him at His Word ...)
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To: tbeatty
I think he hurt his shoulder by slapping himself on the back so often.
32 posted on 03/29/2004 9:18:18 PM PST by sd-joe
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To: arly
That must have been a real bad bunny hill in Idaho.
33 posted on 03/29/2004 9:22:43 PM PST by jocko12
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To: smoothsailing
I vote for Ted Kennedy. Can't wait to see him on a snowboard.

Why, here comes Senator Lard-ass now...


34 posted on 03/29/2004 9:23:03 PM PST by LouD (Democrats: Exploiting the business cycle in the name of political expediency for 70 years)
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To: Shermy
Dole managed to make it through a presidential campaign without being able to shake with his right hand.
35 posted on 03/29/2004 9:24:32 PM PST by PeoplesRepublicOfWashington
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To: Richard Kimball
He's a hot-house flower, isn't he?
36 posted on 03/29/2004 9:26:06 PM PST by texasbluebell
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To: Shermy
I think he hurt it skiing snowboarding but he has claimed that "he doesn't fall down".
37 posted on 03/29/2004 9:26:46 PM PST by BunnySlippers (Help Bring Colly-fornia Back ...)
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To: LouD
That's a very amusing post!
38 posted on 03/29/2004 9:29:13 PM PST by texasbluebell
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To: Shermy
He'll have to cut back on the groping and he won't be chokin' any chickens for a while either.
39 posted on 03/29/2004 9:29:47 PM PST by dc-zoo
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To: Shermy
oh pleaaaase, Bob Dole seems to handle the situation quite well.

Could this just be so people don't get too close to see his botoz injections.
40 posted on 03/29/2004 9:34:31 PM PST by longtermmemmory (Vote!)
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To: Becki
"Now he has a real authentic excuse for not touching the little people. "

My thoughts exactly. He was fine touching limosine liberals but now that there is a real rather than a fixed election he doesn't want to touch the proles.



41 posted on 03/29/2004 9:38:51 PM PST by TASMANIANRED
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To: LouD
I guess Senator Lard-ass didn't learn anything about skiing from his days of dating

Suzy Chaffee

(while still married to the long-suffering Joan, of course).

42 posted on 03/29/2004 9:43:39 PM PST by texasbluebell
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To: Shermy
He just doesn't want to touch the "common" people. After all he is the great John F'n Kerry.
43 posted on 03/29/2004 9:44:18 PM PST by barker (Normal people scare me.)
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To: LouD
LOL!
44 posted on 03/29/2004 9:45:38 PM PST by spunkets
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To: surelyclintonsbaddream
Ping to Post #34!
45 posted on 03/29/2004 9:48:55 PM PST by scott7278 ("FR will NOT be used to help replace Bush with a Democrat." -- Jim Robinson, 2/01/04)
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To: LouD
I can almost make out the Volkswagon.

ROFLOL!

46 posted on 03/29/2004 9:49:55 PM PST by smoothsailing (Eagles Up !!!!!)
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To: Richard Kimball
BTW, Kerry is a heck of a lot more fragile than they're letting on. Aside from being a head case, he's got some kind of serious physical ailment.

Really! What makes you think so?

47 posted on 03/29/2004 9:53:47 PM PST by Bellflower
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To: texasbluebell
I guess Senator Lard-ass didn't learn anything about skiing from his days of dating Suzy Chaffee

Meanwhile, I see her taste hasn't improved:

Eco Ski Dancing with Senator Frank Lautenburg - Chairman of the Senate Committee for the Environment

48 posted on 03/29/2004 10:02:04 PM PST by LouD
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To: spunkets

49 posted on 03/29/2004 10:06:51 PM PST by LouD (For one brief, shining moment, CameLARD!)
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To: LouD
I guess that John F'n Kerry won't get to shake hands with the rif - raf hoi-poloi.

Seems to me he has the Al Bore thingy.......excessive hand washing and fear of infection.

Remember how our boy Al would take numerous showers a day and had his special soap to wash hands every hour or so.

50 posted on 03/29/2004 10:17:46 PM PST by spokeshave (It is, as it was)
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