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The Wreck of the John F'n Kerry (Parody and Copyright by LonePalm)
LonePalm | 4/02/2004 | LonePalm

Posted on 04/02/2004 3:45:01 PM PST by LonePalm

The Wreck Of the John F’n Kerry
The Wreck Of the Edmund Fitzgerald by Gordon Lightfoot
Parody by LonePalm

The legend lives on from the Kennedys on down
Of the island they called ‘Chappaquiddick'
The voters it’s said, never vote for the dead
When the Polls of November turn gloomy.
With baggage galore, some twenty-six hundred votes more
Than the John F’n Kerry cast rightly.
His candidacy too was a bone to be chewed
When the Polls of November came early.

This hack was the pride of the Democrat side
Sounding like some rich twit from South Boston.
As the big pant loads go, he is bigger than most
But not quite as big as ole Teddy.
He was headed down hill when he took a bad spill
But he blamed it on the Secret Service.
And later that night when the cell phone rang
Could it be that Bill Clinton was callin'?

His words through the wires were a sickening sound
“You need a VP with some standing.”
And every man knew, and the candidate too,
T’was the witch of the Senate come stealin’.
The dawning came late and the campaign had to wait
When the Polls of November came slashin'.
With summer’s hot blast there was a shortage of cash
In the face of a popular George Bush.

Convention time came, the Rat pack came on stage, sayin',
“Johnny, we’re right here behind ya.”
On October 9 WMDs were found, they said
“Johnny, it's been good t'know ya.”
Then MoveOn wired in they had voters comin' in
But the party and John were in peril.
On election night when his hopes sank outta sight
Came the wreck of the John F’n Kerry.

Does any one know where the voters all go
When your ads turn the minutes to hours?
With a positive push by Cheney and Bush
Rove had put fifteen more states behind them.
Dems have to split up or they might just downsize;
They all may turn Green and vote Nader.
And all that remains is the faces and the claims
Of the unions, the gays and the squatters.

Democrats sulk; Republicans sing
And Dubya’s judges soon will be confirmed.
Old Hillary steams while she plots and schemes;
She can’t wait for ’08 to get here.
And farther below DU still blows
They whine and throw fits in their despair,
FreeRepublic will host as the FReepers all post
With the Polls of November remembered.

In a musty old hall in the District they whined,
At the Democrat National Committee.
A tinny bell chimed till it rang two or three times
For each state won by John F’n Kerry.
The legend lives on from the Chappaqua on down
Of the cold fish they call 'Bitchy Gloomy.'
Hillary, they said, never gives up for dead
When the Polls of November come early!

Midi version of The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald


TOPICS: Editorial; Government; Politics/Elections; Your Opinion/Questions
KEYWORDS: catastrophicfailure; failure; horriblefailure; kerry
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From my fingers to God's ears.

Garde la Foi, mes amis! Nous nous sommes les sauveurs de la République! Maintenant et Toujours!
(Keep the Faith, my friends! We are the saviors of the Republic! Now and Forever!)

LonePalm, le Républicain du verre cassé (The Broken Glass Republican)

1 posted on 04/02/2004 3:45:02 PM PST by LonePalm
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To: All

Is this your idea of peace & human kindness?
Free Republic counters these messages from the left!

       

Mamas don't let your babies grow up to be liberals!
Show them the truth!

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Fawnn



2 posted on 04/02/2004 3:46:12 PM PST by Support Free Republic (I'd rather be sleeping. Let's get this over with so I can go back to sleep!)
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Comment #3 Removed by Moderator

To: LonePalm
I like your song. Judging from your user name, are you a Parrothead?
4 posted on 04/02/2004 3:47:25 PM PST by freedom1st
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To: RikaStrom; Slip18; xsmommy; Constitution Day; Gabz; Enterprise; one_particular_harbour; hobbes1; ...
Kerry Ping!

I hope I didn't spoil your dinner.

Garde la Foi, mes amis! Nous nous sommes les sauveurs de la République! Maintenant et Toujours!
(Keep the Faith, my friends! We are the saviors of the Republic! Now and Forever!)

LonePalm, le Républicain du verre cassé (The Broken Glass Republican)

5 posted on 04/02/2004 3:48:48 PM PST by LonePalm (Commander and Chef)
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To: LonePalm
Excellent!
6 posted on 04/02/2004 3:49:05 PM PST by Joe 6-pack ("We deal in hard calibers and hot lead." - Roland Deschaines)
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To: LonePalm
Fantastic bump!
7 posted on 04/02/2004 3:49:42 PM PST by Lady Jag (I dreamed I surfed all day in my monthly donor wonder bra.)
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To: LonePalm
Bravo! Bravo!
8 posted on 04/02/2004 3:50:16 PM PST by Glenn (The two keys to character: 1) Learn how to keep a secret. 2) ...)
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To: LonePalm
Priceless!
9 posted on 04/02/2004 3:52:48 PM PST by Bob J (freerepublic.net/ radiofreerepublic.com/rightalk.com...check them out!)
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To: LonePalm
Thats the best one yet.


Incidentally, i saw the Edmund Fitzgerald just a few weeks before it sank when i was a kid.
10 posted on 04/02/2004 3:53:04 PM PST by cripplecreek (you tell em i'm commin.... and hells commin with me.)
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To: LonePalm
That is great! Well done!
11 posted on 04/02/2004 3:54:06 PM PST by meatloaf
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To: LonePalm
thanks for the ping. A masterpeice! I can just hear someone like Paul Shanklin singing this parody on Rush Limbaugh. I would LOVE IT!! (And sing it in Ted Kennedy's voice)
12 posted on 04/02/2004 4:01:07 PM PST by Enterprise ("Do you know who I am?")
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To: LonePalm
Very very good, LP...MUD
13 posted on 04/02/2004 4:01:40 PM PST by Mudboy Slim (Become a monthly donor...it's an excellent investment in the future of our country!!)
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To: Enterprise
A masterpeice! I can just hear someone like Paul Shanklin singing this parody on Rush Limbaugh. I would LOVE IT!! (And sing it in Ted Kennedy's voice)

A Hilderbeast or Klintoon voice would do well, too!

14 posted on 04/02/2004 4:02:50 PM PST by dirtbiker (Solution for Terrorism: Nuke 'em 'till they glow, then shoot 'em in the dark!)
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To: doug from upland
Look out, dude! You've got stiff competition!
15 posted on 04/02/2004 4:05:41 PM PST by Poohbah ("Would you mind not shooting at the thermonuclear weapons?" -- Maj. Vic Deakins, USAF)
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To: LonePalm
AWESOME!
16 posted on 04/02/2004 4:07:42 PM PST by ShandaLear (AirAmerica: If a tree falls in the woods and no one is around to hear it...)
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To: dirtbiker
I can't imagine her singing. Her voice is like when someone runs their fingernails down a chalkboard.
17 posted on 04/02/2004 4:07:43 PM PST by Enterprise ("Do you know who I am?")
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To: LonePalm
Very good!....(now if we could only get you to quit signing off on your posts in Frog lingo...)
18 posted on 04/02/2004 4:11:50 PM PST by ErnBatavia (Gay marriage is for suckers...)
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To: LonePalm
If John Kerry wins, I'm "Alberta Bound."
19 posted on 04/02/2004 4:13:18 PM PST by My2Cents ("Well...there you go again.")
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To: LonePalm
Just F'n great!

-Dan
20 posted on 04/02/2004 4:17:48 PM PST by Flux Capacitor (DEAD LOUISIANIANS FOR KERRY!!!)
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