You might be a liberal socialist if:<

!7 Apr 04 | Daren Morrison

[RMrattlesnake]

You might be a liberal socialist if:

Jeff Foxworthy did the you might be a redneck, and we all herd those funny quotes well know I ask you to help me come up with some funny quotes about liberals.

1) You might be a liberal socialist if: You think Gun laws work; You think are safer with out a gun when criminals have then.

2) You might be a liberal socialist if: You say you can’t legislate morality but all laws are based on moral.

3) You might be a liberal socialist if: If you are against the Death penalty for guilty criminals but support the death penalty for innocent unborn human beings.

4) You might be a liberal socialist if: If you think raising taxes will simulate the economy and create jobs.

5) You might be a liberal socialist if: If you think Michael Moore a college drop out is smart and President George W Bush with degrees at Yale and Harvard is dumb.

6) You might be a liberal socialist if: You hate the current administration but demand more government control.

7) You might be a liberal socialist if: You say Hitler was not a socialist, when he led the national socialist party and nazi Germany control all of it’s industry.

8) You might be a liberal socialist if: You say fundamental Christian offends you but foul language in music and pornography is art.

9) You might be a liberal socialist if: If you think white people living to day are responsible for slaver done over a hundred years before they were born.

10) You might be a liberal socialist if: You fill in the plank

[RMrattlesnake]

This will be fun. I am going to a conference tommarow but I hopw I get pleny of funny quote fro liberals to read and print.

[newsgatherer]

bump

[wizardoz]

-If fundamentalist Christians scare you but fundamentalist Muslims don't.

-if "tolerance for opposing viewpoints" means conservatives should listen to liberals talk, but think that when conservatives talk, it's hate speech.

-if making fun of blacks or latinos is racist, but making fun of whites is the height of sophisiticated wit.

-if you haven't noticed that feminism has made women more bitter and discontented than ever.

-if before the invasion of Iraq you were sure it was an evil plot to drive down the cost of gasoline, and now you're sure it was an evil plot to drive UP the cost of gasoline.

-if a pre-emptive strike against Iraq was a crime, but you want to know why Bush didn't prevent 9/11 with a pre-emptive strike against Afghanistan.

-if you think Che Guevara was a really cool guy. You don't know exactly what he did, but boy was he good looking in that bandanna!

-if you think 6% unemployment in the US is proof that Bush is an idiot, but 9% unemployment in France is proof that Chirac is a genius.

[Woahhs]

You might be a liberal socialist if you don't know what would prove your imaginative speculations wrong, so you don't know it, even when it happens.

[Repub Bub]

Ping!

[samtheman]

You might be a liberal socialist if you posted a list that was so full of spelling and grammar errors that it created the effect of making FR posters appear uneducated.

[GummyIII]

Read his profile....shame on you. Some folks have true disabilities but persevere. I commend him on that. It's not always about spelling, punctuation, and grammar.

[theDentist]

(you wanted to have fun...)

[sarcasm]
[liberalism]

1) You might be a liberal socialist if: You think Gun laws work; You think are safer with out a gun when criminals have then.
TRUE! If you don't have a gun, you won't get involved in a western style shootout, and further, anyone attempting to rob you has no real need to shoot you, only to scare you. And that money isn't really lost because you didn't waste five hundred dollars (or so) on a gun!

2) You might be a liberal socialist if: You say you can’t legislate morality but all laws are based on morality.
Morality is old-fashioned judgement upon private actions of individuals in their lives, and placing limitations upon their expression of life. By rejecting "morality" all can live to their truest potential and spark the next evolution of mankind!

3) You might be a liberal socialist if: If you are against the Death penalty for guilty criminals but support the death penalty for innocent unborn human beings.
Correct! Until actual birth, you are an unknowing mass of cellular goop and, like a tumor, can be excised from the body through a normal, amoral doctor. Once born, all your rights are afforded you, and you have the right to live until your death of natural causes. Remember, executions are based upon judgements of morality upon those convicted of crimes (probably beyond their control).

4) You might be a liberal socialist if: If you think raising taxes will simulate the economy and create jobs.
Duh! raising taxes is a necessary evil, needed to take care of those oppressed peoples who haven't won life's lottery (being white for example; whoever heard of a poor white man?). Raising taxes produces an incentive for those working classes to work harder to attain increases in pay and return to a standard of living they prefer, while helping the poor. Further, if you own a home, there's a greater incentive to get a second job, which can be used to pay these additional expenses.

5) You might be a liberal socialist if: If you think Michael Moore a college drop out is smart and President George W Bush with degrees at Yale and Harvard is dumb.
Bush: Republican: Unenlightened and stupid becuase they don't understand or care about the masses.
Moore: Democrat: Understanding and articulate and talented in the arts and therefore more in tune with the needs of the masses.

6) You might be a liberal socialist if: You hate the current administration but demand more government control.
This illegal administration (stolen from the rightful heir) has lost control of the military industrial complex, has lost control of oil and energy industries, and has illegally cut an already limited tax rate for rich white folks, undercutting the poor!

7) You might be a liberal socialist if: You say Hitler was not a socialist, when he led the national socialist party and nazi Germany control all of it’s industry.
This is old history about a typical oppressive white man (read NAZI = Republican = Bush) and I didn't waste my time reading about it.

8) You might be a liberal socialist if: You say fundamental Christian offends you but foul language in music and pornography is art.
Music and Art contain pornography. All mankind is obsessed with sex, and all the great artists incorporate it into their works. The great classical painters used subliminal sex in their works. Elvis, Etta James, Little Richard, etc used sexual attitude to enhance performances. We've just matured enough to show and say what we all feel.

9) You might be a liberal socialist if: If you think white people living to day are responsible for slavery done over a hundred years before they were born.
As minorities still suffer because of the inherited social status and classifications from the moment they are born. As whites are benefiting from their social standing, they bare an inherited responsibility for the oppression of black brothers.

10) You might be a liberal socialist if: You fill in the blank
It's been a long morning and I'm too tired to think right now.

[/liberalism]
[/sarcasm]

[fhlh]

You might be a liberal socialist if you're a Grammar and Spelling Nazi....

[GummyIII]

:)

[samtheman]

I didn't read his profile. And neither will DU'ers excerpting this list for publication to the world to prove that we're all hicks. If I offended anyone, I'm sorry. I'm just pointing out that this kind of thing can be used against us. Which is why we should avoid vanity posts and stick to posting articles, which is what made this site great in the first place.

Again, sorry if I offended anyone. But again, I'm not the only one who will fail to read profiles and notice the mistakes.

[beavus]

Seems like a good idea, but I think I'll wait for the second draft.

[Aracelis]

You might be a liberal socialist if: you think a pampered, privileged socialite poodle like John Kerry has any idea of what life is really like for the poor and working classes.

[TexasCajun]

...if you hate racism, bigotry and racial discrimination but support discrimination against white kids trying to get a college education in favor of a black kid with lower grades.

[csmusaret]

That was good. Sadly there are millions of Democrats who think exactly like that.

[Bigg Red]

My money's on your list. Brilliant!
(So come out from behind that curtain.)

[normy]

-if Bush = Hitler

-if Bush is a murderer because of his Iraq policy

-if "right wing nuts" angry over the Clinton era sniping of the Weavers in Idaho or the gassing and burning of eight year olds in Waco really pisses you off.

[fishbabe]

you might be a liberal socialist,if you rail against racism,but have killed more blacks in abortion than the entire kkk has killed in 150 years.....

[mo]

...if you think the law applies only to the unwashed peasants outside the Ivy League......but is "living" when interpreted for the benefit of societies "leaders"

[tiamat]

Thank you for your service to our country!

;-)

[lewislynn]

Read his profile....

Who wrote it?

I have 2 sons that we home school.

There's a time when government schools are needed.

[GummyIII]

Ha...I'm a public school teacher/administrator. I see much worse from there. I'm a big advocate of correct grammar and spelling, but I am a bigger proponent of free speech and conservative thinking. I also advocate home-schooling. If one cannot see the forest for the trees, then one needs to re-think. I admire those who share their thoughts and ideas knowing they are going to bear the recriminations of those who see only trees. If we stifle conservatives thinkers on this board with such "nit-picki-ness", we've lost the battle.

[theDentist]

I dated one for years... that was her thinking. I shudder to think what she sounds like now.

[Bommer]

You might be a liberal socialist if you're a Grammar and Spelling Nazi....

Amen to that Brutha! (Yes I know its spelled wrong for all you grammer Notsees!)

[slowhandluke]

You were too tired before you started this.

1) If you don't have a gun you lose. The numbers are in, and it's safer when you and your neighbors are armed. The bad guys don't want to get hurt either.

2) morals also cover theft, which is not private behavior.

3) Oops sorry, mass of goo does not describe a 8month, nor 7,6,5,4,3 month fetus.

4) smart/caring are NOT synonyms. And the masses are in need of good cheap orthodonitistry more than cheap theatrics. Removing a tyrant who killed 100s of thousands at the cost of high oil prices seems to be caring, and willing to bear a cost for caring.

6) Current HEIR!? This was an election, not an anointment. That a republican is accused of stealing votes in county run by democrats, with a democrat in charge of elections, suggest that they are a lot smarter than you think; or the democrats a lot dumber. Even after multiple recounts, BUSH WON! Gore tried to change the rules and got slapped down.

the heir comment did it. This isn't worth more of my time.

[GummyIII]

Please re-read theDentist's words. He was answering what a liberal would say before one got around to it. HE doesn't think that way!

[GummyIII]

Enjoyed it!! Keep it up, and I, too, want to thank you for your service to our country. Also, I want to thank you for sharing with us.

[bluecollarman]

"If you think Maxine Waters or Al Sharpton are better role models for young blacks than Condi Rice or Clarence Thomas."


"If your TV tunes in CBS, ABC, NBC, CNN, MSMBC for the evening news."


"If you think Strom Thurmond was a Racist but Robert Byrd is The perfect Senator for all times in our History."

"If you have ever compared Jerry Falwell to OSAMA"

"If you are a republican elitist that attacks folks with learning disabilities instead of reading the substance of their remarks or the recorded history of their character.OR...you worry about your reputation based on the opinion of any person at DU....You are a great candidate for Liberalism or at least, someone I don't want to go fishin' with."

[lewislynn]

If we stifle conservatives thinkers on this board with such "nit-picki-ness", we've lost the battle.

Who said anything about stifling? If you're a public school teacher/administrator then you should appreciate constructive criticism to help him better himself...or, as long as their feelings aren't hurt, is 2+2 = 5 OK with you?

[bluecollarman]

Gee...why don't we work on making ourselves better? He seems to be doing pretty damn good.

[SpookBrat]

You might be a liberal socialist if you think government schools are needed. You might be a liberal socialist if you think dyslexics are "retarded" or assume their children will grow up retarded by being taught by one. IN FACT.....lets just remove this mans children from the his home and put him in a building where SMART people can raise them. (Only liberals are smart, don't ya know. Speaking of which, I remember liberals going on and one during the election about how a possible dyslexic would be a terrible president.....GWB).

Your constructive criticism remark was arrogant, thinking what's in your brain is of value because YOU CAN DECODE WORDS PROPERLY.

How can you rudely make such a narrow minded, shallow, judgmental statement? Would you feel comfortable making your claim to Alexander Graham Bell, who was dyslexic and also homeschooled? Or Albert Einstein? Dyslexia is a decoding disorder, but it’s also a gift. Dyslexics are very bright and gifted people. Some of the most intelligent, world changing people have been dyslexic.

Homeschooling is about children being home with their families, more than getting a “perfect score on the SAT” education. Assuming he is married, perhaps his wife teaches reading, while he teaches art or science. Many parents split the work load.

There is never a “need” for government schooling. With this line of reasoning, we can assert since some people are to stupid to be responsible gun owners, we need more government control. Since most people are too stupid to save for retirement, we need more social security. Since most doctors, hospitals and insurance companies can't run their businesses, we need national health care.

Lastly, since dyslexia can be genetic, his children might also be dyslexic, and HOME is the best place for them, since they can get individual attention and won’t be labeled and mocked by cruel children on the play ground (such as yourself).

[Nephi]

You might be a liberal socialist if...

you call yourself a conservative, but plan to vote for Bush anyway.

[GummyIII]

Thought you'd enjoy this.

[GummyIII]

Amen.

[bluecollarman]

Very Good!

[lewislynn]

"If you are a republican elitist that attacks folks with learning disabilities instead of reading the substance of their remarks or the recorded history of their character

I read it, it doesn't look like the same person wrote it. Why?...

you worry about your reputation based on the opinion of any person at DU

I guess I must be a "republican elitist" because I don't know or care what "DU" is, or what they think of me.

[anonymous_user]

Here's something I wrote back in 1996 on USENET in response to a Liberal list of the same type.

http://groups.google.com/groups?q=q%40itctel.com+liberal&hl=en&lr=&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF-8&safe=off&selm=31766c27.151333143%40news.itctel.com&rnum=1

[bluecollarman]

"I read it, it doesn't look like the same person wrote it. Why?..."

Cause sometimes I'm like Perry Mason, but sometimes I'm like Barney Fife?

"I guess I must be a "republican elitist" because I don't know or care what "DU" is, or what they think of me."

Re: Post 7 above

[lewislynn]

Your constructive criticism remark was arrogant,

What was my "arrogant" remark exactly?

[Houmatt]

First off, the term "liberal socialist" is redundant. Liberal is just fine.

[theDentist]

BWAhahahahaaa!!

Man, you gotta put some gogo juice in that coffee. If you look closely, you'll see the notations:
[sarcasm]
[liberalism]

...which indicates I turned on both sarcasm and liberalism. I turn them off after the conclusion of my answers.

FYI: I'm an ex-patriated Mass Republican. It's easy for me to speak the language of Liberals. I was surrounded by them for 30+ years.

[proudpapa]

You might be a liberal socialist if you're not bright enough to realize that your bumperstickers contradict each other.

Example: Yesterday, I spotted a car with two stickers. The first read...'Don't Blame Me I voted With The Majority.'

The second one...'KUCINICH'

[lewislynn]

Your constructive criticism remark was arrogant,

What was my "arrogant" remark exactly?

You might be a liberal socialist if you think dyslexics are "retarded"

You're the only one so far who's associated "retarded" with dyslexics...Why is it in quotes?

There is never a “need” for government schooling.

Amen.

34 posted on 04/17/2004 8:17:46 AM PDT by GummyIII (I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.)

LOL!

[GummyIII]

You find it funny that one who works for "government schooling" doesn't condone it? This isn't the thread for it, but we can pursue this if you want elsewhere. BTW, I don't condone the NEA, tenure for teachers, or degrees in "education". I'm also against the "No Child Left Behind Act". My views cross party lines, and I'm not in the majority in most school systems. Peace.

[knuthom]

I agree that the spelling and grammar mistakes need to be corrected if he intends to print this list and hand it out. Telling him that is not a disservice. It could have been done more politely, with less sarcasm. But it does need to be done. If he hands it out as is, it will only make him look stupid. That may sound harsh, but it is true.

My husband is dyslexic. He is very intelligent in many areas (math, science, etc.) but his written verbal skills leave a lot to be desired. He can not send out a letter that someone else has not proof read. He just doesn't see the mistakes. I know that is does not reflect on his intelligence, but other people, who don't know him as well, would not.

[GummyIII]

If this was a job resume', a business letter, etc., I'd agree with you. It is not. This is a forum for free thought and expression, for THINKING, not spelling. Most folks post quickly and make mistakes. All of us have. I did earier, leaving an "s" where I didn't want one. To criticize what was criticized here quelched the spirit of the thread. That is sad. It's also sad that the same folks who post the criticisms weren't intelligent enough to figure that out. That is where I see a lack of intelligence. I certainly didn't see it in RMrattlesnake's posts.

[GummyIII]

If this was a job resume', a business letter, etc., I'd agree with you. It is not. This is a forum for free thought and expression, for THINKING, not spelling. Most folks post quickly and make mistakes. All of us have. I did earlier, leaving an "s" where I didn't want one. To criticize what was criticized here quelched the spirit of the thread. That is sad. It's also sad that the same folks who post the criticisms weren't intelligent enough to figure that out. That is where I see a lack of intelligence. I certainly didn't see it in RMrattlesnake's posts.

(See, I make mistakes, too! And that wasn't even intentional.)

[RMrattlesnake]

Not be I didn't vote for Bush the first time and don't plan on it this time. I vote true consevative U.S. Contution party

[knuthom]

Perhaps you missed my first sentence, where I said "mistakes need to be corrected if he intends to print this list and hand it out." He did mention printing in Reply #1. If he meant to print for his own use, fine. But if he meant to print and share it, he should get some help editing it. I do that for my husband all the time.

The whole point of noting the errors is that they do distract from the substance of the piece. Liberals, the subjects of the list, are most likely to elevate spelling and grammar over substance when it is their ox being gored.

[DCPatriot]

"Read his profile....shame on you. Some folks have true disabilities but persevere. I commend him on that. It's not always about spelling, punctuation, and grammar.

No...SHAME ON YOU!! Feel better now?

It's not expected for a person to click on a poster's profile to see if they are dyslexic.

I also commend him for persevering but get off your high horse.

It is excruciating to get through his post and I can see why some people will comment on his spelling and sentence construction.

cheers