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Kerry Campaigns With His Butler
NewsMax.com ^ | 4/28/04 | Carl Limbacher and NewsMax.com Staff

Posted on 04/28/2004 2:08:10 PM PDT by kattracks

Beacon Hill blue blood John Kerry likes to portray himself as the presidential candidate of the common man. But there's one common man he finds indispensable on the campaign trail: his butler.

Like a scene out of the old British drama "Upstairs Downstairs," Kerry would be helpless without his trusty manservant Marvin Nicholson by his side, who stands ready to cater to his master's every whim, according to the New York Times today.

"When he wants that peanut butter and jelly sandwich, I'm ready," Nicholson told the Times.

Of Nicholson's omnipresence on the campaign trail, the paper noted, "Mr. Kerry is comfortable being catered to."

Like any good butler, Nicholson comes to his job well prepared to serve the Boston Brahmin politico at a moments notice. Among the items Nicholson carries at all times:

* Loose change - apparently in case the husband of millionairess Teresa Heinz wants to leave one of his notoriously meager tips.

* Tylenol, Advil, Advil Liquid Gels and Advil Sinus pills - lest continuing questions about his Vietnam War record give him a migraine.

* Swedish hand cream - because good old American-made Vaseline Intensive Care just isn't good enough.

* Halls cough drops - in case the silver spoon in Kerry's begins to irritate.

* A Ziplock bag with Kerry's favorite PB & J sandwich wrapped in aluminum foil.

* Scope mouthwash, Handiwipes, two packs of Band-Aids, a sewing kit, a can of diet milkshake [Kerry prefers strawberry], a tube of Blistex and a myriad of other accouterments that the hoi poloi who can't afford a butler must provide for themselves.

And for catering to the candidate's every whim, the fabulously wealthy Heinz-Kerrys pay Nicholson a wildly generous (by Kerry's standards) $45,000 annually.



TOPICS: Editorial; News/Current Events; Politics/Elections
KEYWORDS: 2004; butler; kerry; kerrysbutler; manservant; valet
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1 posted on 04/28/2004 2:08:10 PM PDT by kattracks
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To: kattracks; Mia T
This is pathetic, this is hillarious! LOL
2 posted on 04/28/2004 2:10:56 PM PDT by jla (http://hillarytalks.blogspot.com)
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To: kattracks
An issue like this couldn't have been generated by the Reps. This has the smell of Slick on it.
3 posted on 04/28/2004 2:11:06 PM PDT by narby (the unknown tagline)
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To: kattracks
"Marvin, get up here and wipe my nose for me. There's a good man."


4 posted on 04/28/2004 2:13:00 PM PDT by Choose Ye This Day (Is Arlen Specter a conservative Republican? Umm... "Not proven.")
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To: kattracks
Something about the word "manservant" that makes me giggle.

In a Presidential campaign I would not think that is good. LOL
5 posted on 04/28/2004 2:15:20 PM PDT by Republican Red ("I actually did vote for the $87 billion before I voted against it,")
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To: kattracks
You don't get as wealthy as Tarayza and John by being generous with YOUR money.
6 posted on 04/28/2004 2:15:47 PM PDT by Blood of Tyrants (Even if the government took all your earnings, you wouldn't be, in its eyes, a slave.)
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To: kattracks
It sounds like what Kerry really needs is a purse. Maybe one of thsoe Euro-fag shoulder throws.
7 posted on 04/28/2004 2:16:06 PM PDT by conservativeharleyguy (A soldier moves to the sound of the guns.)
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To: jla


Yea, but how would you tell them apart?
8 posted on 04/28/2004 2:16:21 PM PDT by reagan_fanatic (So you're a feminist - isn't that cute!)
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To: kattracks
The devil you say!

Is the NY Times article posted? This is like Christmas!
9 posted on 04/28/2004 2:19:44 PM PDT by cyncooper
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To: kattracks
"Hey, you didn't cut the crust off my F'n PB & J, you SOB!"
11 posted on 04/28/2004 2:22:05 PM PDT by Freemyland
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To: MNLDS
"Marvin, get up here...

It's 'Nicholson', not 'Marvin', old man, as in:

"I say, Nicholson, a fresh handkerchief, please.....there's a good chap ... merci!"

That's how a natural gentleman such as his lordship JF Kerry addresses his manservant.

He served in Viet Nam, don't you know!

12 posted on 04/28/2004 2:24:59 PM PDT by headsonpikes (Spirit of '76 bttt!)
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To: kattracks
Are the terms, "valet", "servant" , "manservant", and "slave" TOTALLY INTERCHANGABLE ?
13 posted on 04/28/2004 2:26:32 PM PDT by Mark (Treason doth never prosper, for if it prosper, NONE DARE CALL IT TREASON.)
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To: headsonpikes
You're right, of course. It's always "Jeeves" or some last name, isn't it.

LOL!
14 posted on 04/28/2004 2:27:51 PM PDT by Choose Ye This Day (Is Arlen Specter a conservative Republican? Umm... "Not proven.")
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To: cyncooper
I posted it, and so did areafiftyone - I'm sure at least one of the threads is still floating around.

I think it's hilarious.
15 posted on 04/28/2004 2:28:08 PM PDT by EllaMinnow ("Pessimism never won any battle." - Dwight D. Eisenhower)
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To: kattracks
"Mr. Kerry is comfortable being catered to."

Lovey! Loooovvveeeeey!

16 posted on 04/28/2004 2:28:58 PM PDT by Aquinasfan (Isaiah 22:22, Rev 3:7, Mat 16:19)
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To: kattracks

17 posted on 04/28/2004 2:30:33 PM PDT by TomGuy (Clintonites have such good hind-sight because they had their heads up their hind-ends 8 years.)
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To: All
ONLINE Blast-Fax The NY Times For Their Latest Kerry Puff-Piece (FREE!)
18 posted on 04/28/2004 2:30:59 PM PDT by jmstein7 (Real Men Don't Need Chunks of Government Metal on Their Chests to be Heroes)
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To: kattracks

"Nicholson? Where are you, Nicholson?... damn you,Nicholson, if I have to straighten my own tie...
19 posted on 04/28/2004 2:31:13 PM PDT by Roscoe Karns (Kerry was caught sleeping with a... excerpted...read the rest here: www.taglines.com)
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To: kattracks
No toilet tissue? You mean his pampered hiney is exposed to toilet paper de jure, same as (gasp) the common man's rear?

Nicolson must really need the job.
20 posted on 04/28/2004 2:34:00 PM PDT by F.J. Mitchell (We all remember Audie Murphy,We all admire Audie Murphy-you John Kerry, are no Audie Murphy.)
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To: redlipstick
I think it's hilarious.

It's a riot!

I haven't been hanging around FR today so missed the other thread--ah, see your ping to it...This is RICH! (pun intended)

21 posted on 04/28/2004 2:34:31 PM PDT by cyncooper
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To: kattracks
Even David Corn on FoxNews sort of admits Kerry is unelectable; Kerry just isn't 'conveying' or connecting; re-inventing himself over and over (remember someone did that in 2000, too).
22 posted on 04/28/2004 2:37:26 PM PDT by TomGuy (Clintonites have such good hind-sight because they had their heads up their hind-ends 8 years.)
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To: TomGuy
David Corn: "This is the candidate the Democrats are stuck with."


lol
23 posted on 04/28/2004 2:38:52 PM PDT by TomGuy (Clintonites have such good hind-sight because they had their heads up their hind-ends 8 years.)
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To: Blood of Tyrants
You don't get as wealthy as Tarayza and John by being generous with YOUR money.

Actually, you marry money. Neither of them earned their money.

24 posted on 04/28/2004 2:43:33 PM PDT by atomicpossum (Hey, I wouldn't touch Camryn Manheim's uterus on a bet.)
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To: TomGuy
That's what Corn said? That's hilarious!
25 posted on 04/28/2004 2:44:18 PM PDT by Ohioan from Florida (The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.- Edmund Burke)
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To: kattracks
That list should include a package of condoms in case of a bimbo eruption.
26 posted on 04/28/2004 2:44:49 PM PDT by Publius (Will kein Gott auf Erden sein, sind wir selber Götter.)
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To: kattracks
Halls cough drops - in case the silver spoon in Kerry's begins to irritate.

The silver spoon in Kerry's WHAT?

I don't think cough drops will help with where his silver spoon is located. Maybe Preparation H would help?

27 posted on 04/28/2004 2:48:31 PM PDT by 11th Earl of Mar
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To: atomicpossum
Well, actually, I believe the MONEY was the late Senator Heinz's. If there's a 3.5 quake in Boston, not to worry, it's just the late Senator rolling over in his grave.
28 posted on 04/28/2004 2:52:57 PM PDT by not2worry
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To: Mark
Are the terms, "valet", "servant" , "manservant", and "slave" TOTALLY INTERCHANGABLE ?

No. And this man is not a butler as per the headline. The butler is the supervisor of the whole household staff, though he may wait on the master as well. Perhaps Kerry has several butlers as he has several houses.

A valet picks out the master's clothes, helps him dress, follows him around. Also politely called a "gentleman's gentleman" or impolitely called a lackey. This is what this man is to Kerry.

A manservant is any male servant.

29 posted on 04/28/2004 2:58:10 PM PDT by Salman
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To: not2worry
Well, actually, I believe the MONEY was the late Senator Heinz's. If there's a 3.5 quake in Boston, not to worry, it's just the late Senator rolling over in his grave.

Exactly. Neither of them ever earned their fortune.

30 posted on 04/28/2004 3:18:05 PM PDT by atomicpossum (Hey, I wouldn't touch Camryn Manheim's uterus on a bet.)
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To: cyncooper

Part Butler and Part Buddy, Aide Keeps Kerry Running

By JODI WILGOREN
alt
Published: April 28, 2004

YOUNGSTOWN, Ohio, April 27 — The man who would be president takes peanut butter and jelly sandwiches — on whole wheat, strawberry jelly preferred to grape — twice a day on the campaign trail. He wears $15 reading glasses, off the rack at CVS. Before bedtime, he starts but rarely finishes movies like "Seabiscuit" and "The Blues Brothers" in his hotel suite. Come morning, he leaves $20 for the maid.

Voters do not learn these tidbits about Senator John Kerry, the all-but-crowned Democratic nominee for president, from his campaign Web site, his public speeches or his television advertisements. These and other details make up the portfolio of the man literally behind the man, ready with an uncapped bottle of water whenever Mr. Kerry's throat runs dry.

Meet Marvin Nicholson Jr., chief of stuff.
Jim Wilson/The New York Times
Marvin Nicholson Jr. lending his back to Senator John Kerry.

MORE---->>>> http://www.nytimes.com/2004/04/28/politics/campaign/28CHIE.html?ex=1083729600&en=b91f50256a9da245&ei=5062&partner=GOOGLE

 

31 posted on 04/28/2004 3:22:48 PM PDT by dennisw (GD is against Amalek for all generations)
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To: kattracks

32 posted on 04/28/2004 3:34:20 PM PDT by hemogoblin (The few, the proud, the 537.)
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To: dennisw
Thank you, kind sir.



33 posted on 04/28/2004 3:35:04 PM PDT by cyncooper
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To: dennisw
Wow I envy Kerry.It's so difficult to get good serfs these days.
34 posted on 04/28/2004 3:51:13 PM PDT by Timocrat (I Emanate on your Auras and Penumbras Mr Blackmun)
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To: StarFan; Dutchy; RaceBannon; stanz; evilC; Bigg Red
Too funny!
35 posted on 04/28/2004 3:54:05 PM PDT by nutmeg (Why vote for Bush? Imagine Commander in Chief John F’in al-Qerry)
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To: kattracks
Yeah this will go over well with the blue collar union joe.
36 posted on 04/28/2004 3:57:15 PM PDT by CyberCowboy777 (I am in school, studying and working 10-12 hours a day. So you might not get a response quickly.)
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To: dennisw
First thing tomorrow.. down to the courthouse to
change my name!!!
37 posted on 04/28/2004 4:01:31 PM PDT by constitution (and things are not what they seem!)
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To: kattracks
The butler did it. Geeezzz.
38 posted on 04/28/2004 6:34:24 PM PDT by Smartass (BUSH & CHENEY 2004 - THE BEST GET BETTER)
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To: TomGuy
BOHICA!!!!
39 posted on 04/28/2004 6:37:42 PM PDT by TXBSAFH (KILL-9 needs no justification.)
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To: kattracks
ROFL! kerry is actually stoopid enough to take Cadburry the Butler out on the campaign trail? Yep, just what this country needs. A First Family and a First Manservant.
40 posted on 04/28/2004 6:45:29 PM PDT by small voice in the wilderness (Quick, act casual. If they sense scorn and ridicule, they'll flee..)
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To: atomicpossum
And Tarayza's former husband was a Republican who EARNED it (or at least part of it).
41 posted on 04/28/2004 6:50:44 PM PDT by Blood of Tyrants (Even if the government took all your earnings, you wouldn't be, in its eyes, a slave.)
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To: kattracks
Teresa only pays him 45,000 a year to demean himself like that...to carry a peanut butter sandwich around in a bag for John Kerry. Sheeesh..GROW UP JOHN KERRY MAKE YOUR OWN DAMN PEANUT BUTTER JAM SANDWICH.
42 posted on 04/28/2004 7:13:49 PM PDT by AmericanMade1776
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To: kattracks
$45,000 - I'd rather be on food stamps!
43 posted on 04/28/2004 7:19:25 PM PDT by mombonn
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To: Publius
That list should include a package of condoms in case of a bimbo eruption.

I had a hard enough time understanding the attraction to clintbilly. That kerrezzzzzzy would be blessed with a bimbo eruption is waaay beyond my imagination.

He's just icky.

44 posted on 04/28/2004 7:24:02 PM PDT by mombonn
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To: doug from upland
ping!
45 posted on 04/28/2004 10:27:40 PM PDT by nutmeg (Why vote for Bush? Imagine Commander in Chief John F’in al-Qerry)
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To: kattracks
Kerry should learn from Hillery. Thats what the secrete service is for. Save a buck for the Rich.
46 posted on 04/28/2004 10:31:34 PM PDT by Brimack34
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To: kattracks
Kerry at the urinal: "Marvin!! I'm done! Zip me up!"
47 posted on 04/28/2004 10:39:12 PM PDT by Yaelle
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To: dennisw
That photo of the manservant bending down to let Massa Kerry use his back as a drawing board is Photoshopped, right?? That CANNOT be real.
48 posted on 04/28/2004 10:41:49 PM PDT by Yaelle
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To: kattracks
"Senator Kerry is a kind master. He hardly ever beats me."
49 posted on 04/28/2004 10:59:41 PM PDT by sine_nomine (Protect the weakest of the weak - the unborn babies.)
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To: Yaelle
That photo of the manservant bending down to let Massa Kerry use his back as a drawing board is Photoshopped, right?? That CANNOT be real.
_________________________

It's real and accompanies the NYTimes article ...... you can follow the URL posted.
50 posted on 04/29/2004 4:41:25 AM PDT by dennisw (GD is against Amalek for all generations)
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