Skip to comments.Half-Baked (Freeper Doctor Raoul makes the NY Observer)
Posted on 04/29/2004 3:10:43 PM PDT by abner
If you click on the link, you will get the cached page.
Here is the snippet of the article from The Observer.
The two goals of a bake sale benefiting the left-wing grassroots organization MoveOn.org on the afternoon of April 17 were to "bake back the White House" (in other words, regime change) and to make it into the Guinness Book of World Records as the greatest bake sale ever. Three hours into it, a line was still stretching around the block from Teany, Mobys vegan café on the Lower East Side, and by the time it was over, 1,500 customers had purchased $10,000 worth of baked goods at simultaneous bake sales nationwide. A total of $750,000 was raised. (Since that day, the powers that be at Guinness have decided not to designate anyone for the "biggest bake sale" category.)
Among the celebrity draws on Rivington Street were Al Sharpton, Janeane Garofalo, comedian David Cross, glam-rock star Rene Risque, John Cameron Mitchell of Hedwig fame and restaurateur Rocco DiSpirito, who were all toiling under a sign that read "A Village in Texas is Missing Its Idiot."
But getting the most attention was Al Franken.
"Tell the truth, Al, keep telling the truth!" someone hollered at him as he licked some more frosting off his fingers. According to two sources (event organizer Laura Dawn and investigative reporter Greg Palast), Mr. Franken had at times that day eaten more than he was worth.
But the satirist and liberal radio host was working hard, selling cupcakes, brownies, cookies, shaking hands, signing autographs. So he took a breather across the street and crouched down outside a bodega. There, he was asked about President Bushs recent press conference.
"I was shocked," he said. "The emperor has no clothes. This is a guy who could not talk on his feet. Obviously, he has no depth of knowledge."
He continued on about his latest U.S.O. tour to Iraq, but something was distracting him: a guy nearby wearing a Saddam Hussein mask, an oversized "Ace of Spades" shirt and a sign that read "Save Me, Vote Democrat." Mr. Franken, who was wearing a button that read "Re-defeat Bush," heard the man say something about Jamie Gorelick, the controversial former Clinton Justice Department official serving on the 9/11 commission.
"Uh, I gotta argue with this guy for a minute," Mr. Franken said, getting up.
"I just want to say hi to this guy. Hi, how are you? You want to discuss Jamie Gorelick?"
"Well, I want a Jamie Gorelick muffin, but I want it grilled, not half-baked," said the man, who sounded a lot like sleight-of-hand artist and Mamet-movie regular Ricky Jay. (It wasnt him; the man identified himself as Raoul.) Mr. Franken gently placed a hand on his shoulder.
"Would you like to discuss"
"Uh, keep your hands off me, please. You have no right to put your hands on people, Al."
"O.K. Would you like to discuss Jamie Gorelick?"
"I want a Jamie Gorelick muffin grilled, not half-baked," Raoul said again.
By now, there were several dozen people encircling the two men. Cameras were clicking and videotape rolling for a documentary on Mr. Franken, who explained to Raoul that Ms. Gorelick had "simply codified rules that were already in place during Reagan and Bush I, and that John Ashcroft had reaffirmed those same rules."
"So youre asking for a Jamie Gorelick"
"Grilled muffin," Raoul said. "Grilled Jamie Gorelick muffin. Not half-baked."
"You can say that over and over again, but its not responsive to my point."
"I want a Jamie Gorelick muffin grilled. I dont want a half-baked Jamie Gorelick muffin. A half-baked Jamie Gorelick muffin is hazardous to your health. Your Jamie Gorelick must be grilled."
"Hey Al, I read your bookit was great!" someone yelled.
Mr. Franken thanked Raoul for his time and started walking over to his fans.
"Al, Al!" Raoul yelled. "Your audience just tripled. Air Americas ratings have doubled!" But Mr. Franken didnt hear him. With the crowd following him, hed moved on to go sell some more cupcakes.
(Excerpt) Read more at 220.127.116.11 ...
Franken wishes he could come up with lines that clever. :oD
This was my FAVORITE line from the story because it was a dig at what a big fat idiot Al really is. Wonder if he actually paid for what he ate. Probably since they made $750,000. $3.00 was from all the other nationwide sales. The rest was what Franken ate.
Nice freep Doctor Raoul
I think I'd have to say that Al scared me and he didn't. After all, Franken was punched out by Alan Clomes two years ago at the White House Correspondent's Dinner. Gave him a bloody nose I seem to recall.
Now that you mention it, that cracks me up too. Didn't think about that, good observation.