Unfortunately not. Usually don't have the time. The funniest ones are the ones I forget to use usually.
For the Correspondent's Dinner I wrote a few i the car.
Mike Allen is getting a big award for "Turkeygate", the "fake" turkey in Baghdad. So I'll riff that next year the Washington Post will win a Pulitzer because Mike Allen is doing a story on Chicken McNuggets.
The scandal is that the bird Bush picked up was never served to the troops AND.....the troops were served their turkey from STEAM TRAYS.
EARTH TO WASHINGTON POST,...COME IN WASHINGTON POST...it's a chow hall in a combat zone. They ALWAYS eat from a steam tray.
Had Bush never come over, they'd still get served from a steam tray, had the UN been running Iraq, they'd still get served from a steam tray. IT'S A CHOW HALL.
And on another note, had they served that turkey, carved it up and dished it out, the Washington Post would have a screaming headline "BUSH SERVES UNSAFE TURKEY". After all, there are sanitary food regulations that govern how long you can "display" food and still eat it.
About 80% of restaurants in Japan use "display food". It simplies selection for the customer. FUDDRUCKERS does the same thing around here in the Northeast. Morton's Steakhouse has a "menu cart". Stayed tuned to the Washington Post for their next breathless follow up to TURKEYGATE.