DFU SONG: Bread and Butter(Kerry servant - peanut butter, jelly, Swedish hand cream)

DFU SONG PARODIES | 4-2004 | Lyrics, Doug from Upland

[doug from upland]

MIDI - BREAD AND BUTTER

La la la la la

I like peanut butter and strawberry jam
Hey, have I told you lately I served in Vietnam

I love Swedish hand cream...my manservant knows
And everywhere that I am...my Scope mouthwash goes

I like peanut butter and strawberry jam
Hey, have I told you lately I served in Vietnam

Loose change in his pockets or he knows I'd flip
That's what I need when I must leave a meager tip

I like peanut butter and strawberry jam
Hey, have I told you lately I served in Vietnam

I need Advil Gelcaps...he brings them along
When I speak of my medals, everything goes wrong

[doug from upland]

NEWSMAX --

Wednesday, April 28, 2004
Kerry Campaigns With His Butler

Beacon Hill blue blood John Kerry likes to portray himself as the presidential candidate of the common man. But there's one common man he finds indispensable on the campaign trail: his butler.

Like a scene out of the old British drama "Upstairs Downstairs," Kerry would be helpless without his trusty manservant, Marvin Nicholson, by his side, ready to cater to his master's every whim, according to the New York Times today.

"When he wants that peanut butter and jelly sandwich, I'm ready," Nicholson told the Times.

Of Nicholson's omnipresence on the campaign trail, the paper noted, "Mr. Kerry is comfortable being catered to."

Like any good butler, Nicholson comes to his job well prepared to serve the Boston Brahmin politico at a moment's notice. Among the items Nicholson carries at all times:

* Loose change - apparently in case the husband of millionairess Teresa Heinz wants to leave one of his notoriously meager tips.

* Tylenol, Advil, Advil Liquid Gels and Advil Sinus pills - lest continuing questions about his Vietnam War record give him a migraine.

* Swedish hand cream - because good old American-made Vaseline Intensive Care just isn't good enough.

* Halls cough drops - in case the silver spoon in Kerry's mouth begins to irritate.

* A ziplock bag with Kerry's favorite PB & J sandwich wrapped in aluminum foil.

* Scope mouthwash, Handiwipes, two packs of Band-Aids, a sewing kit, a can of diet milkshake [Kerry prefers strawberry], a tube of Blistex and a myriad of other accoutrements that the hoi poloi who can't afford a butler must provide for themselves.

And for catering to the candidate's every whim, the fabulously wealthy Heinz-Kerrys pay Nicholson a wildly generous (by Kerry's standards) $45,000 annually.

[doug from upland]

ping

[ErnBatavia]

If you can write one to "I Like Bread and Butter" you can lyricize anything!

[doug from upland]

How about an opera?

BACKGROUND

Caruso's Firing Over Alleged Slur Sought(Maxine Waters Alert)

Stepping up their criticism of Los Angeles Mayor James K. Hahn and his administration, about 100 people called Thursday for him to fire Police Commission President Rick Caruso because the commissioner allegedly used a slur to refer to U.S. Rep. Maxine Waters (D-Los Angeles).

According to an anonymous letter distributed to city officials by someone who claimed to be a participant at the meeting, Caruso referred to the congresswoman as "the bitch Waters."

MIDI - La donna è mobile

Maxine, you are a b*tch…Caruso, that is rich
Oh, yes, he called it right…what insight

Maxine, why must you breathe…your people you deceive
You're evil, we can see…as bad as Hillary

Maxine, you love Fidel…both of you, go to h*ll
You lowlife socialist…may you always be dissed

While L.A. was burning…in the hood you're dancing
You had got your wish…whites got what they deserved
Got what they deserved
Honkies got what they deserved

Maxine, you are a b*tch…Caruso, that is rich
Oh, yes, he called it right…what insight

Yuk, who could sleep with you…we do not have a clue
Please pass me the barf bag…you are a wretched hag

Jesse and you both suck…anything for a buck
Your mouths are very big…you are both racist pigs

While L.A. was burning…in the hood you're dancing
You had got your wish…whites got what they deserved
Got what they deserved
Honkies got what they deserved

[GailA]

Wonder how much hanoi john's fancy expensive English made bird hunting gun cost? I sent the photo that has been FR posted many times over to my friend in Wash state. She has a elderly English gentleman she shoots with. THis is what Micheal said about hanoi john's gun.

It is a 'side-by-side' double barrel shotgun, side lock mechanism, 12gauge. The pictures are fuzzy but I would put money on it being a high class Eurpoean, and probably an English maker. The clues are: the slender lines, the (thin) splinter fore end, the metal release button on the front of the fore end, the apparent double triggers, however if they are gold plated (which may be the case looking at the photo) I'd switch my vote from English to Italian or Spanish, the outline shape of the lock plates and the apparent extensive application of engraving. The fact that there is no raised and vented barrel rib would indicate English again. Lastly the pretty thin butt plate (recoil pad) also points to European origin. You'd be looking at MAYBE one of a pair, at least $40,000 and, depending on maker,etc., to over $100,000! Probably a present from his loving wife!

[Michael.SF.]

I heard Sean Hannity talking about this yesterday and decided to look into it a bit more. I found the article, which is linked below, on his "Chief of Staff". What surprises me is the low level of qualifications for the position.

Here is a quote from the article:

These and other details are the portfolio of the man literally behind the man, ready with a uncapped bottle of water whenever Kerry's throat runs dry: Marvin Nicholson Jr., Chief of Stuff.

"I can't help with policy, I don't do press," said Nicholson, 32,a former bartender and caddie who never voted before meeting Kerry in 1998. "When he wants that peanut butter and jelly sandwich, I'm ready." .

here is the link.

[doug from upland]

Thanks for the info. Kerry is just a regular guy. My manservant always has my bottled water ready for me.

[Michael.SF.]

oops. My mistake. I misread the title given to the man. It is Chief of StUff, not Staff.

So I guess when John Kerry is told to stuff it, it is this guy's job to handle the situation?