Patton's Fireside Speech (A non-partisan solution)

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Patton's Fireside Speech
A non-partisan solution

Rcvd in email - Author unknown

If General George Patton were alive and President of the USA

This would be his Fireside Speech:

My fellow Americans:

As you all know, the defeat of Iraq's regime has been completed.

Since congress does not want to spend any more money on this war, our mission in Iraq is complete.

This morning I gave the order for a complete removal of all American forces from Iraq.

This action will be complete within 30 days. It is now time to begin the reckoning.

Before me, I have two lists. One list contains the names of countries which have stood by our side during the

Iraq conflict. This list is short.

The United Kingdom, Spain, Bulgaria, Australia, Norway and Poland are some of the countries listed there.

The other list contains everyone not on the first list. Most of the world's nations are on that list.

My press secretary will be distributing copies of both lists later this evening.

Let me start by saying that effective immediately, foreign aid to those nations on List 2 ceases immediately and indefinitely. The money saved during the first year alone will pretty much pay for the costs of the Iraqi war.

The American people are no longer going to pour money into third world hell-holes and watch those government leaders grow fat on corruption.

Need help with a famine? Wrestling with an epidemic? Call France.

In the future, together with Congress, I will work to cut taxes and solve some local problems.

On that note, a word to terrorist organizations. Screw with us and we will hunt you down and eliminate you and all your friends from the face of the earth.

Thirsting for a gutsy country to terrorize?

Try France, or maybe China.

To Israel and the Palestinian Authority. You, boys. Work out a peace deal now. Just note that Camp David is closed.

Maybe all of you can go to Russia for negotiations. They have some great palaces there. Big tables, too.

I'm ordering the immediate severing of diplomatic relations with France, Germany, and Russia. Thanks for all your help, comrades. We are retiring from NATO as well. Bon chance, mes amis.

I have instructed the Mayor of New York City to begin towing the many UN diplomatic vehicles located in Manhattan with more than two unpaid tickets to sites where those vehicles will be stripped, shredded and crushed.

I don't care about whatever treaty pertains to this. Pay your tickets tomorrow or watch your precious Benzes, Beamers, and limos be turned over to some of the finest chop shops in the world. I love New York.

A special note to our neighbors. Canada is on List 2. Since we are going to be seeing a lot more of each other, you folks might want to try not pissing us off for a change. Mexico is also on List 2. President Fox and his entire corrupt government really need an attitude adjustment. I have a couple of extra tank and infantry divisions sitting around. Guess where I'm gonna put 'em? Yep, border security. So start doing something with your oil.

Oh, by the way, the United States is abrogating the NAFTA treaty--starting now.

It is time for America to focus on its own welfare and its own citizens. Some will accuse us of isolationism.

I answer them by saying darn tootin'.

Nearly a century of trying to help folks live a decent life around the world has only earned us the undying enmity of just about everyone on the planet. It is time to cut taxes here because we will not be spending on other peoples problems.

To the nations on List 1, a final thought. Thanks guys. We owe you.

To the nations on List 2, a final thought. Drop dead. God bless America.

Thank you and good night.

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This article comes from Focus on Freedom
http://www.gohotsprings.com/focus/

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[RAY]

Give Bush a second term. Right now he needs to get reelected. Not having opportunity for a third term may allow him to do extraordinary things to start the riding of this world of the Islamic threat and to kick tails of France and Germany. First remove our bases from Germany and snub France.

Canada and Mexico are somewhat different issues. They are somewhat like family members who need and attitude adjustment.

[RichardW]

My kind of president.

[Tallguy]

No need to reach back for a historical figure since this sounds like a platform that Pat Buchanan would feel comfortable with.

[hosepipe]

Pretty good fiction there...
But the truth is americas greatest enemies are in america. This is actually a diversion from the solution. Unless fireside chatt number TWO would address that problem.

Treason not being legal anymore as it is now, would be a good start. Hangings on the White House Lawn would be the bitch slapp heard around the world. Lawyers would be running for the darkness and malefactors of all sorts would on the next plane to the Chaosvilles of the world. Yeah!.. fireside chatt number two would be a good sequel. Course some proper setup before the hangings would make the airports prime perpetrator hunting areas. Oh! and the roads OUT of the U.S. too. A little Zenophobic fascism to match the rampant socialism. Let's call it Affirmative Action.

[Pagey]

"I thought this was pretty good for a Monday" BUMP!

[Pagey]

Ping!