Skip to comments.Taxonomizing Theodore Rall.
Posted on 05/05/2004 3:17:50 PM PDT by .cnI redruM
So what does make Ted Rall tick? How did this man come to pernisciously hate the Home of The Free and The Land of The Brave. Let's make no bones about it. Ted Rall hates America. But does he hate us with a passion?
I would answer no. He hates us with a fadish, vapid, boring consistency. He does it out a certain desperation for attention. Rall will never be really cool, like Jane Fonda or Ramsey Clark, but if he just gets off enough clever cheap shots at Bush, the crowd he seeks approval from will think he's one of the trendy people.
Rall's cartoons are never particularly deep or well-thought out. It's impossible to fill a large bucket from a shallow well. They generally parrot talking points from other far left luminaries in an obsequious, cloying fashion. Which again brings me to wonder what makes this sick puppy tick?
The answer lies somewhere on the campuses of America's leading universities, or maybe it was left on a table at Le Dome or The Three of Clubs. Ted Rall adopts his ideological pose as an effort to truly rank somewhere in the inteligensia of liberal America.
But to fit into The New Republic's version of an inteligensia, or even to rank as a Star Poster at Slate.com, you have to possess a certain, finite amount of actual intelligence. This is where the Tedster hits the horridly plastered ceiling of is own mediocrity. He's trying to be the next Loretta Lynn, with the talent of a luded-up Courtney Love. He lacks the ampage to turn many people on just based on his merits.
So what's a poor, Jacobite loser to do? He shocks the sensibilities of "dumb, middle Americans" in hopes of getting attention. He let's it all hang out, otherwise, no one would care enough to look.
Like Al Franken, he knows better than to cross intellectual or philosophical swords with his betters. So he does what he can get away with. He insults them and then runs for cover.
Rall's latest "masterpiece" certainly deserves the description of drive-by trashing. A drive-by trashing of someone who's entirely too dead to defend himself. This is the first time in decades that Pat Tillman can't beat Ted Rall like a snare drum. Rall senses this and vents his bilious spleen.
Ted Rall got what he wanted from The O'Really Factor last night. He got attention, he got face time, he got away with it and will be picked up by several more "objective" daily newspapers. He got it cheap and easy like a New Orleans pimp picking on a 17 year-old runaway.
There may not be much we can do about Ted Rall, except to realize what a pathetic man he really is. Then pity him, pity him deeply. Pity him with the utmost contempt that pity always entails.
Oh, how I would love it.
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