Free Republic
Browse · Search
News/Activism
Topics · Post Article

Skip to comments.

A Joke for today...
Unknown

Posted on 06/05/2004 10:23:11 AM PDT by CTGOPPER

The elderly American gentleman arrived in Paris by plane. At French Customs, he fumbled for his passport.

"You 'ave been to France before, monsieur?" the customs officer asked sarcastically.

The old gent admitted that he had been to France previously.

"Zen, you should know enough to 'ave your passport ready for inspection." The American said, "The last time I was here, I didn't have to show it."

"Impossible. You Americans alwayz 'ave to show your passports on arrival in France!"

The American senior gave the Frenchman a long hard look. Then he quietly explained. "Well, when I came ashore at Omaha Beach on D-Day in '44, I couldn't find any Frenchmen to show it to."


TOPICS: Political Humor/Cartoons
KEYWORDS: antifrenchhumor; dday; french

1 posted on 06/05/2004 10:23:11 AM PDT by CTGOPPER
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | View Replies]

To: CTGOPPER
Though this has been posted and many already know it ... I must let you know I think it's fabulous!

Anything we can do to harpoon the french, (small f intentional) Frog, (capital F intentional, as Frogs do more for humanity than the french) bastids.

2 posted on 06/05/2004 10:31:06 AM PDT by G.Mason (A President is best judged by the enemies he makes when he has really hit his stride…Max Lerner)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: CTGOPPER

Le Bump Magnifique.


3 posted on 06/05/2004 10:52:45 AM PDT by martin_fierro (If I see one more "Help Me With My Homework" thread...)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: G.Mason
french, (small f intentional)

I always think of the french as a bunch of little "F's"

4 posted on 06/05/2004 10:54:25 AM PDT by tophat9000
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 2 | View Replies]

To: CTGOPPER

LOL France sucks!


5 posted on 06/05/2004 10:54:28 AM PDT by Arpege92 (There are no more political simpletons in the world today other than European Leftist -Yossi Halevi)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: CTGOPPER

This is a great one!


6 posted on 06/05/2004 10:54:49 AM PDT by krb (the statement on the other side of this tagline is false)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: CTGOPPER

And, of course, we all know why the french line their roads with leafy trees.


7 posted on 06/05/2004 10:57:54 AM PDT by woofer
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: woofer

Is france still a cuntry?


8 posted on 06/05/2004 11:00:27 AM PDT by Thom Pain (Quisling - from Vidkun Quisling (1887-1945), a synonym for "traitor")
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 7 | View Replies]

To: CTGOPPER

LOL. I was at a dinner last night where Miss Wisconsin 1999 was a featured speaker. As it happened, I was seated with her parents. When it was time to pass the salad dressing, someone asked her father if he wanted the "french". "Yes," he replied, "but I wish we could call it something else!"


9 posted on 06/05/2004 11:02:08 AM PDT by afraidfortherepublic (Re-elect Dubya)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: CTGOPPER

SIMPLY OUTSTANDING!


10 posted on 06/05/2004 11:15:32 AM PDT by alpha-8-25-02 (saved by GRACE and GRACE alone)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Squantos

Go ahead and laugh out loud. I did.


11 posted on 06/05/2004 11:36:50 AM PDT by B4Ranch (Ignore your rights and they'll go away.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: CTGOPPER

We need to bring the fallen home from Normandy. That country does not deserve their presence.

As Arlington is maxed out they would be the best reason to establish a new national military cemetary.


12 posted on 06/05/2004 11:54:22 AM PDT by NewRomeTacitus
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: CTGOPPER





13 posted on 06/05/2004 11:56:36 AM PDT by ThreePuttinDude (....Imagine Whirled Peas.....)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: NewRomeTacitus

Thank You for saying that out loud.
I have always thought that we should bring them home and a new National Cemetary is a long overdue tribute to all of our fallen who lie in foriegn (And unappreciative)soil.


14 posted on 06/05/2004 12:03:19 PM PDT by Pompah (The price of greatness is responsibility)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 12 | View Replies]

To: CTGOPPER

Haven't heard this before. Thanks for the post. I'm copying to my folder.


15 posted on 06/05/2004 12:36:02 PM PDT by lilylangtree (Veni, Vidi, Vici)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: tophat9000
"I always think of the french as a bunch of little "F's""

LOL

Well deserved, we'll say?

16 posted on 06/05/2004 12:37:22 PM PDT by G.Mason (A President is best judged by the enemies he makes when he has really hit his stride…Max Lerner)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 4 | View Replies]

To: CTGOPPER

The thing that gets me about France it that at that time, there were some very courageous men and women who helped our troops. Not only those in the resistance, but also in the villages. I suppose today the spirit of the Vichy has come to dominate again.


17 posted on 06/05/2004 12:39:42 PM PDT by tbpiper
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: NewRomeTacitus

As Arlington is maxed out they would be the best reason to establish a new national military cemetary

I think the idea of bringing our war dead home is a great one.
As far as where we could put a new National Military Cemetary, I think if we leveled the UN building we could place several of our fallen heroes there and make much better use of the ground.


18 posted on 06/05/2004 12:41:21 PM PDT by sawmill trash (AL QAEDA FOR KERRY !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 12 | View Replies]

To: B4Ranch
During Desert Shield/Storm in 91 I was at a base in Qatar for a while that had Canadian CF18's, American F-16 fighters and French Mirage Fighters aircraft. There were flag poles in a tent city for the Qatari, American , Canadian and French Flags. The French flag was cut down so many times the USAF commander assigned a SP to guard it 24/7. The french pile-it's would depart for their assigned targets which were at least an hour out and back yet they always seemed to return in 20 minutes without their ordnance.

Bunch of frigging cowards. The singular fighting force that the french possess that I have witnessed in action and respect is the Foreign Legion. Those guys are strictly billy bad asses !

Stay safe !

19 posted on 06/05/2004 12:45:29 PM PDT by Squantos (Be polite. Be professional. But, have a plan to kill everyone you meet.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 11 | View Replies]

To: NewRomeTacitus
They should stay.  Perhaps the graves of our fallen aren't respected as they should be but, they have another purpose - those graves are a humiliation to France.

Every inch of space those fallen warriors occupy belongs to the United States of America, and those prissy little bitches in Paris know it...and there's nothing they can do about it.

20 posted on 06/05/2004 12:45:43 PM PDT by Psycho_Bunny
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 12 | View Replies]

To: lilylangtree
This was the very first thread I've started despite being a member since 2000. I did a few things wrong but maybe I'll venture in every 4 years or so. I was very afraid.
21 posted on 06/05/2004 12:47:11 PM PDT by CTGOPPER (Conservative in Liberal Connecticut.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 15 | View Replies]

To: woofer
And, of course, we all know why the french line their roads with leafy trees.

7 posted on 06/05/2004 10:57:54 AM PDT by woofer


Yep, so the Germans can march in the shade.

What really gets me is that the Parisians and city-dwellers have already forgotten something which only happened 60 years ago..

However, I would like to point out that, believe it or not, not all of the French are completely...hmm...mentally defunct (?) in that respect. I was in Normandy a few years ago with my folks, and at a restaurant, an older woman came up to us, saying, "Thank you, Americans..thank you...we thank you so much!"

Of course, she was slightly drunk, but in vino veritas! Anyway, I suspect that the anti-American sentiment is highly concentrated in the cities, and among the youth, but many of them still remember and appreciate the sacrifice we made for their *insert random epithet* little country, especially those who are still living in the area.

That aside...I can't believe the way the majority of French people are reacting to our liberation of another extremely oppressed and globally important country, even though it's not even quite as pathetic as France. France was strategically important; so is Iraq. But there's more than global strategy involved in liberating a people, and then returning power to them, and the French should realize this - as well as identify with it.

22 posted on 06/05/2004 1:31:19 PM PDT by SgtSolomon (ranting and raving in the name of..uh....what the hell...ranting and raving!!!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 7 | View Replies]

To: CTGOPPER

Great thread by the way!!!


23 posted on 06/05/2004 1:32:08 PM PDT by SgtSolomon (ranting and raving in the name of..uh....what the hell...ranting and raving!!!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 21 | View Replies]

To: CTGOPPER

I have only posted one thread and have been a Freeper for about four years. I found that the format here makes it easy to post correctly, although I was a bit nervous myself. Way to go and congrats on a great post!


24 posted on 06/05/2004 1:58:09 PM PDT by Blowtorch
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: CTGOPPER; Pompah; sawmill trash; Psycho_Bunny
CTGOPPER: Thanks for the sharing the excellent joke and regret bringing a somber mood. Watching Eisenhower stuff on A&E reignited my indignation.

Pompah: Watching various groups fighting for burial spots has probably been great sport for the America-haters. It’s just flat wrong that the situation has been left to linger.

Sawmill: I like your idea but, as you intimate, the size would be very limited. Perhaps a combined monument and cemetery to honor service people and civil servants of other countries who died for our interests. It would also stand as a mute rebuke to the United Nations (redirect all mail to Belgium) for conspiring against us on our own soil for half a century.

Psycho_Bunny: I have read increasing reports about vandalism in French Jewish cemeteries. With their still-increasing immigration from radical Islamic countries I don’t want to wait for the inevitable. Sixty years is long enough. We’d leave a monument specifically thanking the French people who resisted during the war and those who devoted care to the cemetery's upkeep. Feelings assuaged, the haters can play pigeon on that monument while our men are conveyed home out of their reach.

25 posted on 06/05/2004 2:30:36 PM PDT by NewRomeTacitus
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 21 | View Replies]

To: Squantos
I was in the 101, on the west flank. french further left (imagine that!).

Those guys were worthless, except for the Foreign Legion. . .and the reason is simple. . .they are FOREIGN, not french. That is why they are called the "Foreign" Legion. They have to import warriors.

They have to import warriors.

*Chuckle*
26 posted on 06/06/2004 11:44:24 AM PDT by Gunrunner2
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 19 | View Replies]

To: CTGOPPER
My apologies to the unknown FReeper from whom these are stolen, but I think they fit this thread well.

Why I Hate the French

(1) They are nothing but a bevy of whores.
(2) French food is highly overrated and expensive. All they did was steal the Italian cuisine and add rich fatty sauces.
(3) They allow a young "Arafat" look-alike, with wires protruding from his shoes, a one-way ticket and no luggage, to board a plane bound to Miami from Paris.
(4) Their women need to get up close and personal with a "Lady Norelco and some Nair." Sadly, they also stole this from the Italians.
(5) The "Concord" - It gets you to France too quick and out of France too slow. I spent a year in France one week. "Ba Da Bing." These are the jokes, folks, I know you're out there. I can hear you breathing.
(6) The French language. I got a "D" in high school French and a sore throat to boot. I should have taken Spanish. Even a Frenchman can get a "C."
(7) French Architecture. Highly overrated. Stole it from the Romans and fagged it up.
(8) When staying at a French hotel, never use the hotel safe. Hide your valuables under a big bar of soap in the shower.
(9) WWII. Could have stopped Hitler early on. Why didn't they? See (1) above.
(10) Napoleon. Stole this crazy little bastard from the Italians, made him more crazy and, well, the rest is history. The song is true, in this case, "Short people have no reason to live."
(11) They have a pro golfer that took a 3 or 4 stroke lead, into the final hole of the final round of the British Open and lost.
(12) They have a winning black figure skater who should be playing ice hockey with Tonya "I'll break your knee caps" Harding. They both have about as much grace as a "fire plug."
(13) Ira ("since you do not love me anymore, I'll beat you to death, put your battered body in a truck, flee to Europe, say the CIA set me up and the French will fight my extradition for years") Einhorn.
(14) Jerry Lewis. If not for the French, his career would have been over a long time ago.

27 posted on 06/06/2004 1:24:45 PM PDT by ILBBACH (Thank you, Gipper!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Gunrunner2
LOL.......duh ! Ya Think .........:o)

Stay safe !

28 posted on 06/06/2004 8:27:59 PM PDT by Squantos (Be polite. Be professional. But, have a plan to kill everyone you meet.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 26 | View Replies]

Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.

Free Republic
Browse · Search
News/Activism
Topics · Post Article

FreeRepublic, LLC, PO BOX 9771, FRESNO, CA 93794
FreeRepublic.com is powered by software copyright 2000-2008 John Robinson