Skip to comments.Letter to Michael Reagan on his Wedding Night From Dad (Repost from 1998, grab some kleenex!)
Posted on 06/07/2004 2:35:25 PM PDT by kalama
You've undoubtedly heard the jokes that have been rousted around by the 'unhappied marrieds' and cynics. Now, in case no one has suggested it, there is another viewpoint. You have entered into the most meaningful relationship there is in all human life. It can be whatever you decide to make it.
There is an old law of physics that you can only get out of a thing as much as you put into it. The man who puts into the marriage only half of what he owns will get that out.
Sure there will be moments when you will see someone or think back on an earlier time and you will be challenged to see if you can make the grade, but let me tell you how great the challenge is of proving your masculinity and charm with one woman for the rest of your life.
Any man can find a twerp here and there who will go along with cheating, and it doesn't take all that much manhood. It does take quite a man to remain attractive and to be loved by a woman who has heard him snore, seen him unshaven, tended to him while he was sick, and washed his dirty socks.
Do that and keep her still feeling a warm glow and you will know some very beautiful music.
There is no greater happiness for a man than approaching a door at the end of the day knowing someone on the other side of the door is waiting for the sound of his footsteps.
P.S. -And you'll never get in trouble if you say 'I Love You' at least once a day.
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What a good man President Reagan was!
And a great father, it sounds like.
I've been wearing sunglasses all day because the slightest comment, joke, tribute or Reaganism makes me tear up.
My father has recently been diagnosed with Alzheimer's, so I have lots of "baggage" here! I have to keep making bad jokes, or I'll give up and go in a closet and howl. President Reagan was one in millions. He lived with integrity, and died with courage.
Sounds just like my own dad, The Greatest generation grew some good ones for sure.
He was a fine man and my hubby acts alot like him. No one nowadays tells kids this kind of stuff, it is a pity. Mostly they get advice on prenups, etc, dual careers. They really need parents to start saying these things and to live that kind of life.
I love you, honey!
I love you too hon!
I offer you my prayers for your family and your father. I cared for my paternal grandmother who had Alzheimer's. I have walked in the shoes that you now find yourself in.
I truly have no idea where my wife finds the strength to put up with me. She is truly the best.
Your father is in my prayers. :-}
May God give you strength and comfort as you face this illness. My mother had dementia or altzheimer's. As they say - it all comes to the same result.
What I learned is to just take them as they are and where they are. Do not continually ask them "Why did you do that?" Enjoy what you can with them, find activities you can do together and laugh a lot. I have so many sweet memories of our times together, so many funny things, so many cute things. I do so miss the other Altzheimer's patients I came to know as Mother and I went through those years. I lost her in March.
One of my favorite times was when I brought her a baby doll. She was in the lunchroom and her face lit up. All stopped to watch as she took it. It was a beautiful moment and I feel she enjoyed this gift more than any other I've ever given her. That baby doll was her baby and many times we had to clean it because she fed it lunch as she ate.
And most of all - realize they cannot help that they forget, they cannot help when they can't do something. My worst memories are the times I got frustrated with her over doing some little task. I am ashamed at that irritation at such a sweet little person.
Well .. you're not alone. And .. it hits me at moments when I'm not expecting it.
And .. if you go back and look at Reagan's childhood .. it was not very nice. He had a lot of emotional obstacles to overcome growing into adulthood.
When people become emotional cripples because of difficult family issues in childhood .. how many times is it because the person themselves was too weak to overcome it .. and then people like Reagan can propel themselves to the very pinnicles of life - the Presidency.
Thank you all so much for your kindness! I've just had to accept the diagnosis, after denying for a year or more that it was anything other than ordinary forgetfulness. My mother, of course, had to be realistic sooner. He's taking Aricept, and Mom says it helps some.
I know it's possible he may have a swift decline, and be gone in just a few years, or we may have many years when he's in relatively good health, and just doesn't remember everything. The old memories from his childhood and years in the Navy are some of the best, anyway :-).
This is another opportunity (I get so many ...) to trust that God has everything under control ... it's just hard to surrender.
Thank you all again for your prayers and thoughtfulness.
How true, how intense, how profound. Amazing.
He sounded just like my Daddy, too. What was it about the Greatest Generation ? Such good, decent men came from that era !!!
Reminds me of me, after 20 years of taming by the "one that saw something worth salvaging"
No... that is what I look up in the Dictionary, for "Decent" and what I portray to my kids so they don't grow up to be like Me...
Glasses can't help me see, I sure hope my daughters don't bring home little $hits like I was, help me Lord I am too young to go to Prison, was it Cosby or Gibson when asked about their daughters starting to date said... "Kill the first one and the word will get out"
Simple, yet profound.
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