Foiled again, ay?
Posted on 06/10/2004 1:02:44 PM PDT by Temple Owl
Second Thoughts
By: William W. Lawrence
06/08/2004
The champagne corks were not popping at 400 N. Broad St., but there were some smiles. Circulation rose a paltry 800 to 387,692, which was an improvement over past years when the left-wing, liberal publication appeared to be in free-fall.
In 1999, the Inquirer was losing readers faster than any newspaper of comparable size in the country. An Audit Bureau of Circulation (ABC), the largest independent verifier of newspapers' circulation figures, showed that the Inquirer's daily circulation had dipped to just under 402,000 -- a 7.2 percent decrease from the same six-month period the previous year.
Maybe they ought to drink champagne, maybe something even stronger.
***
Liberals reportedly have dumped millions of dollars into something called Air America. This is supposed to be a left-wing radio network designed to steal away listeners from Rush Limbaugh and other conservative broadcasters. Well, trust me when I tell you the air has been let out of that trial balloon. Air America has replaced five top executives, lost crucial producers and has been taken off the air in two of its top three markets.
Here are some inside tips for the new producers:
-- Start praising America.
-- Criticize abortionists.
-- Blast sexual perverts who hold high political positions.
-- Talk up school vouchers.
-- Offer a morning prayer. Oh, what the heck, one in the afternoon and evening too.
-- Bug your boy Teddy Kennedy to come up with a flat tax.
-- Read the Wall Street Journal editorial page every day.
-- Talk up Zell Miller as a Democratic presidential candidate.
-- Every once in a while, mention that Saddam Hussein is an evil man who should get the death penalty.
That's a good start. I'll give you more as you get into it.
***
The Star Democrat of Easton, Md., reports that a fifth-grader at Maryland's Grasonville Elementary School did a class project on the topic, "What would you take on a camping trip and why?" It consisted of a shoebox containing various tools, including a steak knife. School officials declared the utensil a "weapon" and suspended the unnamed 11-year-old felon for 10 days.
We desperately need school vouchers.
***
There's an e-mail going around that asks people to help rescue a Nigerian military official who took a secret flight to the Russian space station, only to end up stranded.
If you send $3,000 to help get him back to Earth, the message says, you can share in the $15 million in "flight pay and interest" he gets.
The New York State Consumer Protection Board thinks it has identified it as an obvious hoax and have named it the most outrageous example of advance-fee e-mails, which are also known as the Nigerian, or 419, scam. The messages often claim to be from a representative of a former government or royal official from Africa, and say that for a few thousands dollars, millions will be put into your bank account.
Of course, you have to send the scammers your account numbers and other information first.
Most of our readers are probably familiar with the scams in which a corrupt government official or attractive young woman is willing to share ill-gotten money with a nice American if he would simply provide access to his bank account.
A resident of the World Wide Web named "lowbridge" has found a way to turn these scammers into entertainment.
He leads them on and on and on and puts the correspondence on his website. What he did to a resident of the Ivory Coast named Gloria Gium can be found at http:// www.megaone.com/lowbridge/baitinggloria.html and what he is doing to Rita Kone can be found at http://www. megaone.com/lowbridge/baitingritakone.html
Poor Gloria wound up sending him a picture of herself wearing a pair of underpants on her head and holding a sign saying "Freepersrule" and "IMADUER"-- which refer to the conservative website Free Republic and the leftist website Democratic Underground, respectively.
What the hint of money will make some people do!
(Excerpt) Read more at countypressonline.com ...
ping
Pinging lowbridge...
A most humble and gracious ping from the Rev. Dr. Martin Fierro.
Now send me $10,000.
LOL,
PING!
CURSES!
GMTA
<|:)~
Hey LB you made the papers!!haha
Foiled again, ay?
You da man!
LOL wow FReepers are getting famous
EXCELLENT humor break!! LOL
I thought lowbridge was a girl this whole time...it's so funny how we can mistake genders on the net...heh heh
I meant to ping you as well.. :)
"Nigerian military official who took a secret flight to the Russian space station, only to end up stranded."
Does this mean he'll have to walk home?
You are one sick puppy.
Nicely done.
Genius!
Omigawsh!!!! I am laughing so hard I've scared the cats!
ping
Could you please send me $10,000 to get me back to Nigeria?
Link doesn't seem to work. I get a generic page asking me to sign up. :(
LOL, I've been showing this to people at work.
I don't get anything when I click on that link. Anyone have another??
It is absolutely classic! It's hard to stop laughing at it. I saw that picture a while back....I am sure that lowbridge posted a thread about..but to see it in the news is just the biggest humor hoot of the day....
It is really slow..I think it's getting a lot of hits. Try this..
http://www.megaone.com/lowbridge/baitinggloria.html
You know, this is not bad, lowbridge.
However, there are folks who have taken these guys for some money (five bucks here, ten bucks there, someone even got some gold from one would-be scammer...).
Why not see how high someone can take it? Go for a HUGE score off one of these scammers - I'm talking five or six figures here. It's not like anyone's gonna complain about outscamming a 419.
It's so funny! He told the guy to leave this message on the answering machine so he'll know it's him! ROFL!
"By the way, I am having trouble with my phone system. Could you put in another call to me and leave a message as a test?
Here is the message I would like for you to leave (So I'll know it's you):
_________________
Hooters, hooters. Yum, yum, yum.
Hooters, hooters. On a girl that's dumb."
Apparently LB's host server doesn't allow remote linking of pictures.
www.ebolamonkeyman.com has the best scam the scammer emails, pictures and stories.
My favorite one is where the scammee claimed to be a porn star and sent the scammer photos of "herself" and led him to believe she longed for his manhood...to the point he traveled to another country to meet her.
ping
We're not worthy!
Fortunately, I had the coffee cup in my hand, but hadn't taken a sip yet, otherwise coffee (black, no sugar) would've come out my nose.
That's just classic!
How about this one?:
Subj: gooo day
Date: 06/10/04 10:47:59 AM Mountain Daylight Time
From: ma_acha793@hotmail.com
Sent from the Internet (Details)
Dear Friend ,
I am Mrs. Mariam Abacha, the widow of the late Gen. Sanni Abacha former
Nigerian Military Head of State who died mysteriously as a result of Cardiac
Arrest. Since after my husband’s death my family is under restriction of
movement and that not withstanding, we are being molested by police and our
Bank Account both here and abroad are being frozen by the Nigerian Civilian
Government.
Furthermore, my elder son is in detention by the Nigerian Government for
more interrogation about my husband’s assests and some vital documents.
Following the recent discovery of my husband’s Bank Account by the Nigerian
Government with Swiss Bank in which the huge sum of US$700Million and
DM450Milllion was logged. I therefore decided to contact you in confidence
that I was able to move out the sum of US$25Million Dollars, which was
secretly lodged in a trunk box and deposited with a Security Company as
materials of Inheritance.
I therefore personally, appeal to you seriously and religiously for your
urgent assistance to move this money into your country where I believe it
will be safe since I cannot leave the country due to the restriction of
movement imposed on the members of my family by the Nigerian Government.
You can also contact me through my family attorney Barrister Abdulsalma Isaa
(SAN) on his e-mail address:bar_salmaunion@sify.com and my lawyer shall
arrange with you for a face to face meeting outside Nigerian, in order to
liaise with you toward effective completion of this transaction.
However, arrangements have been put in place to move this money out of the
country in a secret vault through a diplomatic security company, as soon as
you indicate your interest, forward to my lawyer your Telephone
Number, Fax Number and your Postal Address so that he can send to you
the Certificate of Deposit and other necessary documents, so that you
can help to claim the luggage.
Conclusively, we have agreed to offer you 30% of the total sum while 70% is
to be held on trust by you until we decide on a suitable business investment
in your country subsequent to our free movement by the Nigerian Government.
Please reply urgently and treat with absolute confidentiality and sincerity.
Best
Regards,
Hajia Mariam abacha(Mrs.)
NB:To proove the authenticity of my story i will want you to go through the
links below.
1:http://www.transnationale.org/anglais/sources/tiersmonde/dirigeants__abacha.htm
2:http://allafrica.com/stories/200203180074.html
3:http://www.time.com/time/europe/magazine/2000/27/swiss.htm
4:september 16 2002 time magazine page 52.
I was going to do it but I just didn't have enough room for that secret vault at my place.
Outstanding!
That's one of the funniest things that I've read in a while. Does the guy who owns the web site work for the county paper, or is he just reporting?
You are famous.
Oh my..read this at work and had to keep myself from rolling on the floor..
lowbridge for President!
hysterical, looks like lowbridge loves yanking someone's chain!!
Yes it is, especially since our desperate democrats have been trying to make monsters out of our military for putting panties on the heads of terrorists.
I haven't been able to see the details yet -- the site is still down. But that's great. If only spammers were that stupid.
The undies on the head is a special touch too.
you are a genius!! I just e-mailed your page around the world!
http://www.megaone.com/lowbridge/baitingshernelldeborah.html
bump
You are a bad man, lowbridge, a very bad man!
;^)
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.